ARISE Production Resumes After MuleQuake

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Date: Tue, Feb 10, 2004 10:05 AM

ONE WEEK AGO yesterday, I bravely force-fed Muleskinner 2 the "pil"
that gave it a new brain. And announced ARISE was on DVD. One week ago
tomorrow, Muleskinner 2 started suffering strokes, several a day. The
orders stacked up, PRAISE "FUCKING "BOB"! Indeed, I've never seen
anything like it in SubGenius Mail Order Land. No doubt this demand was
magically PROMPTED by the very fact that my computer was too fucked up
to manufacture the things I had announced for sale!

I got a lot of DVD BOXES and LABELS printed and ready, but the Mules
and I were all very busy first tracking down the computer malfuctions
and then, while me and the computer were both still in geek mode,
performing long overdue upgrades across the board.

Oddly enough this whole routine was prompted by a desire to be able to
install ONE VIDEO TITLING PROGRAM that I had acquired, but one so
snooty which wouldn't install into my poebucker computer until at least
one of the Mules was gussied up and prettified with over 450 mgz of
amphetamines and smarts into something more like a Clydesdale.

Late last night, the last element of that snooty titling program was
installed. I did the tutorial and by gobbs, I about splorped, because
it looks to have been WELL WORTH THE EFFORT. Not just the zippy titling
program, which is a stoner's paradise unto itself just in the PRESETS
WINDOW, but the whole damn system.

-- MACINTOSH USERS: Panther is FUCKING GREAT!!! I was a NINNY not to
have upgraded earlier.

Of course, this kind of upgrade also means you might well have to
upgrade all your repair progs, your scanner driver, your external hard
drive firmwares, your "StuffIt," AND, you'll find that the shitty free
CD labeling programs you had been using NO LONGER WORK in OS 10.3 and
won't be upgraded -- but that they NOW work in CLASSIC (!!).

Well, enough of that important tech talk that might save a Mac user a
nervous breakdown. But seriously, OS 10.3.2 appears to fix many
wagons. (Also, wait'll you see how files look when they're opening --
when you first click on them and they FLY AT YOU suddenly, like angry
deveils or lustful angels, and BURST into existence. Like the way
computers act in movies about future computers.)

So anyway I went to bed with an ARISE dubbing... got up to PeE and
started another... woke up to pEe and flipped another blank... etc. I
can only make these things one at a time, if I want to make any profit
that is, but luckily they burn while I'm doing other shit and I should
be able to crank them out about 15 a day even while doing other chores
on the computer.

I am 3 days behind on Hour of Slack too. And this morning I got an
email from some nutless wonder I'd never heard of: "SO WHEN ARE YOU
GONNA QUIT PLAYING RERUNS AND DO SOME NEW HOURS OF SLACK??!?" "When you
go and pester somebody else," I told the fuck-butt. Jesus H. Fucking
Christ on a Thousand Pogo Sticks. See, I REMEMBER THE NAME OF EVERY
SINGLE PERSON WHO BUYS SOMETHING FROM BULLDADA TIME CONTROL LABS. And I
sure didn't remember this guy's name. So it inspired me to say, FUCK
THE NUTLESS WONDERS, I'll do nothing BUT reruns for the next SIX
MONTHS!! And when I get these new videos done, they'll be better than a
million new Hours of Slack, BUT THIS FUCK-ANUS WILL NEVER SEE THEM,
because he WON'T be able to download them for free, at the personal
expense of me and St. David Bachner, and he won't be able to BUY them,
because ONLY *I* will SELL them, and I WON'T sell them to HIM or people
whose names have been permanently branded "NUTLESS WONDER" on my
extensive and FAMOUS blacklisting rolls.

PHOOEY!

You can see how I might get a bit miffed and wheezy at somebody who
comes along and says, "HEY STANG, this free fishing pole and bait you
gave me are BORING! COOK ME ANOTHER TROUT ALMONDINE!! AND MAKE IT
FAST!!"

I'm a SubGenius, in fact The First Bobbie, and I don't need to tell you
that being told what to do like that will produce the OPPOSITE of the
desired results.

Although, as it happens, I did have this folder full of "Yeti-related"
audio clips and songs, including practically an El Queso rock opera,
and I'm now eager to edit that up, partly because I'm now tired of
computer repair and video prog installations and testing.

I also could make a show quickly out of JUST the ARISE soundtrack, IT
SOUNDS SO VERY MUCH BETTER THAN IT EVER EVER DID...

*AND* I still have the other dozen new poducts, but at this point maybe
I should fill the ARISE orders and SubSITE improvements before I start
worrying about the various MP3 disks and CDs.

I will NOT post ARISE on a.b.s., any time soon, if ever, but I will
post bits and pieces of the NEW SubMovie as it progresses. This new one
is not just by me but is also by IMBJR, LeMur, Heart Ignition, Norel
Pref, Ignatz Topolino, Rev. Cobblestone, Espira, iDRMRSR, etc.etc.
etc., i.e. the a.b.s.-fux who, like me, not only spew heated verbiage,
but MAKE actual THINGS. I am into people who are into THINGS. Into
MAKING things, FOR "BOB", or into BUYING things, ABOUT "BOB".

AHH!! While I typed this another ARISE finished and popped out!

SO THERE, NUTLESS FUCKWONDERS WHO CAN'T EVEN *DRIVE* YET WHO IN THEIR
IDIOT HUBRIS TELL THE GREAT STANG HIMSELF TO "HURRY"!!!

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)

PRABOB

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: ARISE Production Resumes After MuleQuake
From: "Rich Clark, aka The Left Reverend Egg Plant, ULC, CotSG"

Rev. Ivan Stang blasphemed and profaned the name of "Bob" in msg-id
<100220041005567275%stang@subgenius.com>:

> AHH!! While I typed this another ARISE finished and popped out!
>
> SO THERE, NUTLESS FUCKWONDERS WHO CAN'T EVEN *DRIVE* YET WHO IN THEIR
> IDIOT HUBRIS TELL THE GREAT STANG HIMSELF TO "HURRY"!!!

So, Rev Stang, I'll take that one that just popped out (I'm off to Subgenius
Labs after I hit send on this), quitchyer bitchin' and get busy, there's
gonna be *another order to fill* and bitchin' only uses up time you could
be using to *fill the next order*.

Rich
--

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Subject: Re: ARISE Production Resumes After MuleQuake
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

Thanks for the order! But this doesn't mean we'll be taking long slow
showers together.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: ARISE Production Resumes After MuleQuake
From: Klyf Fenderson <news2TURNIP@klyfonline.com>

>
> Thanks for the order! But this doesn't mean we'll be taking long slow
> showers together.
>

Damn. And I was gonna order one.

--
Rev. St. Klyf "Not Max Cannon" S""-M257 the Not-Quite-Sane

"Curiouser and curiouser."
--Alice.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: ARISE Production Resumes After MuleQuake
From: Leonard the Committed <ccssk@ccssk.doesntexist>

>
> AHH!! While I typed this another ARISE finished and popped out!
>

If I were to send payment to the Cleveland Hts. address instead of using a
credit card, do I need to tack on anything to cover shipping?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

Yeah, add $3.05 and make it $23... nice even number... you'll actually
be getting the "handling" for free. Normally I get a $2 tip for
"handling." A trade taught in bus station men's restrooms across this
great land.

DON'T make a check to "Ivan Stang"!

Make that check out to The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.

Just saying that brings a tear to my eye.

I would not recommend sending ANYBODY actual cash through the mail,
though. The thieves have magic sniffers for that sort of thing. Much
better sniffers than the cops have for contraband.

And thank you ever so much for patronizing Bulltata Time Control
Laboratories.

--

PRABOB

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Original file name: ARISE Production Resumes#1ADA63 - converted on Saturday, 25 September 2004, 02:05