From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>
Date: Sat, Jul 17, 2004
It's noon on July 17, and in a 3rd floor attic office
in Cleveland,
with all the windows closed and all the electronic machines
on, it is
still TOO COLD to wear just a t-shirt and jeans.
This is some crayyzeeeee weather these Northern Ohioans
have. I lived
in South Dakota for two years, and that weather was
NORMAL compared to
THIS. Or could this be the day just before "the
day after tomorrow"?
Speaking of which, even though I collect End of the
World movies,
everything I've heard everywhere about that movie has
caused me to
avoid even so much as downloading it, much less paying
a theater to
screen it for me. Now that's BAD WoM.
--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath
of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
PRABOB
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "iDRMRSR" <idrmrsr@subgenius.com>
Stang:
>>weather complaint<<
Oh yeah? Well what the hell are you DOING about it?
As if anybody could do ANYTHING about the weather in these parts.
I've often remarked that the average weather in Cleveland
is gray and in the
mid 50's. Like most of the residents.
Summer is officially over this year. On the other hand,
it is neither so
cold that you have to turn your heat on or so HOT you
have to turn on the
air conditioner. And with any luck, it will stay that
way for a couple of
weeks.
That's one form of economic slack, it's CHEAP to live
around here most of
the time, with notable exceptions (January through April,
July, maybe
September when it warms up again).
Do as I do. If it is cold and dark, then sleep.
[*]
-----
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Priestess Pisces" <priestesspisces@NOTASPAMBUCKETearthlink.net>
feh, you are both lucky bastids.
Olebear and I will send you some nice Georgian Heat
with a fat side helping
of HUMIDITY.
If you lucky it will thunderstorm long enough to rinse
the sweat off the
TREES.
love as always from sunny hot humid and crowded South Atlanta Georgia,
-Pisces
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>
It's funny... the Lord, who is from nearby Youngstown,
was surprised
that I would ENJOY the grim Hyperborean cold of Cleveland,
and I was
flabbergasted that anyone would PREFER the blasting
(but dry!) heat of
Dallas. Now, He and Magdalen have been suddenly transfered
by "Bob" to
Georgia, which offers the WORST ASPECTS of both Northern
and Southern
weather, but apparently it's safer than whatever's
coming in Texas.
The clues are vague but from what I can gather the vibes,
if not the
weather, will only get worse and worse in Conspiracy
Texas.
So I am not complaining about the weather, just expressing
the
possibility that the foretold Ice Age, probably predicted
somewhere in
Dateline for Dominace, is sweeping down upon us, and
might in just a
few weeks destroy all civilization, for better or worse.
Which I
understand is the plot of this year's Conspiracy X-Day
Distraction
Blockbuster Movie. I am NOT gonna pay to see ANY movie
by that guy.
--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath
of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
PRABOB
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Ned Wreck <nedwreck@bellsouth.net>
Priestess Pisces wrote:
> Olebear and I will send you some nice Georgian
Heat with a fat side helping
> of HUMIDITY.
I'll see your Georgia heat and raise you a Mississippi
hell simulator.
Most days from mid July to late September the temperature
matches the
humidity usually hovering at 98.
At least our air isn't orange.
Ned
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Cardinal Vertigo <vertigo@alexandria.cc>
Ned Wreck wrote:
> Priestess Pisces wrote:
>>Olebear and I will send you some nice Georgian
Heat with a fat side helping
>>of HUMIDITY.
>
>
> I'll see your Georgia heat and raise you a Mississippi
hell simulator.
> Most days from mid July to late September the temperature
matches the
> humidity usually hovering at 98.
>
> At least our air isn't orange.
You Dixie pussies.
In nearby south Missouri the temperature and humidity
stay locked in the
balmy mid-90s all summer... and we LIKE IT THAT WAY.
--
"Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you
want to test a man's
character, give him power."
- Abraham Lincoln
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: kdetal@aol.com (KD et al)
That's why it's pronounced MISERY.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>
iDRMRSR <idrmrsr@subgenius.com> wrote:
> Stang:
> >>weather complaint<<
>
> Oh yeah? Well what the hell are you DOING about
it?
WANKING!! Wanking with all my heart and soul! For "Bob"!!
> As if anybody could do ANYTHING about the weather in these parts.
But we have at least two posters on alt.slack just this
week whose
merest whimsy or fit of pique can decide national elections
or cause
stock market crashes!
> I've often remarked that the average weather in
Cleveland is gray and in the
> mid 50's. Like most of the residents.
Damn! That is a an excellent summation of Cleveland!
> Summer is officially over this year. On the other
hand, it is neither so
> cold that you have to turn your heat on or so HOT
you have to turn on the
> air conditioner. And with any luck, it will stay
that way for a couple of
> weeks.
We've managed the whole summer with just fans. LOTS
of fans however.
Fans and headphones. You have to use headphones when
the fans are
running.
> That's one form of economic slack, it's CHEAP to
live around here most of
> the time, with notable exceptions (January through
April, July, maybe
> September when it warms up again).
>
> Do as I do. If it is cold and dark, then sleep.
While downloading.
--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath
of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
PRABOB
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: kdetal@aol.com (KD et al)
>But we have at least two posters on alt.slack just
this week whose
>merest whimsy or fit of pique can decide national
elections or cause
>stock market crashes!
My fits of whim cause indigestion.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "nikolai kingsley" <nikolai@broadway.net.au>
> >>weather complaint<<
>
> Oh yeah? Well what the hell are you DOING about
it?
i'm farting a lot more frequently these days. unfortunately
my work is
confined to the southern hemisphere.
nikolai
--
cain't understand it.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "fenian" <fenian@start.ca>
"Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>
wrote:
> This is some crayyzeeeee weather these Northern
Ohioans have. I lived
> in South Dakota for two years, and that weather
was NORMAL compared to
> THIS. Or could this be the day just before "the
day after tomorrow"?
It's them lakes. Them lakes I tells you. They's make
some crazy wither joo
joo. I live almost directly across Erie from Cleveland,
this entire land
form is surrounded by lakes. I've always lived here,
so this is my idea of
normal. I like it, for the most part. Lots of change
ups. This summer has
been sweet and merciful. Winter usually offers abundant
beautiful snow, and
crisp sparkly nights. Mm. Spring and Autumn are lovely
as well. Summer is
usually just shit. All too often we get that Georgia
style weather, moist as
a monkeys brain, and hot. It seems like every four years
the summer is
really rainy, like this year, and 2000. I've always
wondered how I would
like the North West Coast. The gray and rainy but usually
cool thing appeals
to me. I imagine its very green and mossy. I would shoot
before I lived
south of the Mason-Dixon. Heat is evil.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Cardinal Vertigo <vertigo@alexandria.cc>
fenian wrote:
> "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>
wrote:
>>This is some crayyzeeeee weather these Northern
Ohioans have. I lived
>>in South Dakota for two years, and that weather
was NORMAL compared to
>>THIS. Or could this be the day just before "the
day after tomorrow"?
>
> It's them lakes. Them lakes I tells you. They's
make some crazy wither joo
> joo. I live almost directly across Erie from Cleveland,
this entire land
> form is surrounded by lakes. I've always lived
here, so this is my idea of
> normal. I like it, for the most part. Lots of change
ups. This summer has
> been sweet and merciful. Winter usually offers
abundant beautiful snow, and
> crisp sparkly nights. Mm. Spring and Autumn are
lovely as well. Summer is
> usually just shit. All too often we get that Georgia
style weather, moist as
> a monkeys brain, and hot. It seems like every four
years the summer is
> really rainy, like this year, and 2000. I've always
wondered how I would
> like the North West Coast. The gray and rainy but
usually cool thing appeals
> to me. I imagine its very green and mossy. I would
shoot before I lived
> south of the Mason-Dixon. Heat is evil.
Funny, I feel the same way about the weather north of
the Mason-Dixon.
Cold is evil.
I mean, if it gets really hot and you're unprepared,
you can just find
some shade and wait it out. But if it gets really cold
and you're
unprepared, you're flirting with fucking death.
Any weather that can flat-out kill a healthy man who's
just sitting
around minding his own business is EVIL.
Say what you will about some of the people of the South,
but the
weather's exactly the sort of stuff H. sapiens is best
adapted to
endure. That means "nice" to those of us
who don't have maladaptive
temperature circuits and so don't enjoy weather that
can easily kill us.
Plus it's easier to have sex outside when it's warm.
--
"Any teacher that can be replaced by a machine
should be!"
- Arthur C. Clarke
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "fenian" <fenian@start.ca>
"Cardinal Vertigo" <vertigo@alexandria.cc>
wrote:
> Funny, I feel the same way about the weather north
of the Mason-Dixon.
> Cold is evil.
>
> I mean, if it gets really hot and you're unprepared,
you can just find
> some shade and wait it out. But if it gets really
cold and you're
> unprepared, you're flirting with fucking death.
>
> Plus it's easier to have sex outside when it's
warm.
Heh, that's the exact same opinion I have on heat. When
you're too cold, you
can bundle up, and be warm. You have some control (unless
you're a complete
nimrod who goes out into -20 degree weather unprepared)
over your situation.
If it's too hot, what do ya do? Yer fucked...I start
trying to take of my
SKIN. Not only that, I'm quite certain I hear of far
more fatalities due to
heat (ie, France, last summer, scores of people got
cooked to death) than
due to cold.
DOWN WITH MOLECULAR EXCITATION!!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Joe Cosby <http://joecosby.com/code/mail.pl>
Cardinal Vertigo <vertigo@alexandria.cc> wrote:
>Plus it's easier to have sex outside when it's warm.
ack. I HATE sex when it's hot. You get all sticky
and sweaty and
smell bad. I mean you usually get all sticky and sweaty
when you have
sex ...
I'll start again.
I HATE sex when it's hot.
--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.com/
The fascination out of some ooze trembles, but an abstraction
unleashed its
power upon a scout.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Cardinal Vertigo <vertigo@alexandria.cc>
Joe Cosby wrote:
> ack. I HATE sex when it's hot. You get all sticky
and sweaty and
> smell bad. I mean you usually get all sticky and
sweaty when you have
> sex ...
That's why I like it.
> I'll start again.
>
> I HATE sex when it's hot.
Yer weerd.
--
"I think all foreigners should stop interfering
in the internal
affairs of Iraq."
- Paul Wolfowitz
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "HdMrs. Salacia the Overseer" <SeventhSqueal@SlowOnTheUptake.edu>
Sticky sweaty=not so good
Beyond sticky sweaty=Excellent
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Joe Cosby <http://joecosby.com/code/mail.pl>
Oiled from head to toe=Not at all bad
But I still don't like sweaty sex.
I suppose really, what I hate is just being sweaty.
It turns off
every sexual impulse in me.
My idea of good sex is: early Sunday morning, right
when you wake up,
the windows are open and there is an ice-cold, fresh-smelling
wind
blowing in but you are under the nice warm blankets,
both of you
naked, and you pull the blankets up over your heads
and have noisy
messy sex while you are still kind of half-asleep.
damn now I'm starting to get myself kind of worked up.
--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.com/
"No matter how cynical you get, you can never keep
up."---Lily Tomlin
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "kevbob" <kevbob@ecsis.net>
"Cardinal Vertigo" <vertigo@alexandria.cc>
wrote
> I mean, if it gets really hot and you're unprepared,
you
can just find
> some shade and wait it out. But if it gets really
cold
and you're
> unprepared, you're flirting with fucking death.
man, yer flirting with fucking death if you WAKE UP
in the
morning.
Plus, in a pinch you can slice open a cow and slip inside.
(yes. i've learned _all_ of my survival instincts from
TeeVee.)
Seriously, you can build a HOUSE out of SNOW of temporary
not dying.
> Any weather that can flat-out kill a healthy man
who's
just sitting
> around minding his own business is EVIL.
"and in local news today, another couple of old
people died
of heat stroke".
ya know? it just ain't right.
heat is just a flash in the pan, cold though, cold's
just
the soft embrace of entropy.
and snow's a helluva lot prettier than fat people in
thin,
small clothing.
> Say what you will about some of the people of the
South,
but the
> weather's exactly the sort of stuff H. sapiens
is best
adapted to
> endure. That means "nice" to those of
us who don't have
maladaptive
> temperature circuits and so don't enjoy weather
that can
easily kill us.
there's only so much clothing you can take off (ie,
ALL of
it) before you can't take
off anymore clothing to "cool" off.
but, you can ALWAYS add another pair of socks.
> Plus it's easier to have sex outside when it's warm.
i'd have to completely disagree.
To me,
"We have to keep fucking or we will die" is
a hell of a lot
more compelling than,
"If we fuck, there's a good chance we will: Die
of heat
stroke, Drown in a bed of swear,
or Spontaneously Combust."
i came up with this a couple of years after moving to
the
dirty, stinking, humid south:
In the "North", people move quickly and are
short with each
other,
and speak quickly and etc,
because if they stop moving they will freeze to death.
In the "South", people move slowly and speak
slowly,
and take forever to do something, and etc,
because if they move too quickly they will fall over
dead.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Cardinal Vertigo <vertigo@alexandria.cc>
Right, and the latter seems to me a lot more consistent
with the
principles of Slack.
--
"You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood
up for something,
sometime in your life."
- Winston Churchill
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "kevbob" <kevbob@ecsis.net>
slack ain't sloth.
slack ain't a lot of things.
slack just is,
and a SubGenius must have it.
And Thou Shalt Not Steal My Slack Shalt Be The Whole
Of The
Law.
personally,
not freezing to death is right on up there on my list
of
Things Which Bring Me Slack.
--
This Middle has been brought to you by:
People Pulling Wool Over Their Own Eyes.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Cardinal Vertigo <vertigo@alexandria.cc>
Hence the reason I specified "seems to me."
--
"I don't know which is worse, ...that everyone
has his price, or that
the price is always so low."
- Hobbes, in Bill Watterson's "Calvin and Hobbes"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Talysman the Ur-Beatle" <talysman+usenet@gmail.com>
"kevbob" <kevbob@ecsis.net> wrote:
> i came up with this a couple of years after moving
to the
> dirty, stinking, humid south:
>
> In the "North", people move quickly and
are short with each
> other,
> and speak quickly and etc,
> because if they stop moving they will freeze to
death.
>
> In the "South", people move slowly and
speak slowly,
> and take forever to do something, and etc,
> because if they move too quickly they will fall
over dead.
hey kevbob!
you're alive!
--
Talysman the Ur-Beatle, STRAWGRASPER
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Artemia Salina <y2k@sheayright.com>
No he's not. He's joined the choir invisible.
You don't SEE him, do you? Quid pro bono.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Frere Jean Bleu <FrJBleu@ifrance.com>
"kevbob" <kevbob@ecsis.net> wrote:
>Plus, in a pinch you can slice open a cow and slip
inside.
>(yes. i've learned _all_ of my survival instincts
from
>TeeVee.)
That's funny I learnt that in a Star Wars movie. But
you got to have a
light sabre to slice the sucker open.
Fr J B
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com>
kevbob wrote:
> "Cardinal Vertigo" <vertigo@alexandria.cc>
wrote
> > I mean, if it gets really hot and you're unprepared,
you
> can just find
> > some shade and wait it out. But if it gets
really cold
> and you're
> > unprepared, you're flirting with fucking death.
>
> man, yer flirting with fucking death if you WAKE
UP in the
> morning.
>
> Plus, in a pinch you can slice open a cow and slip
inside.
> (yes. i've learned _all_ of my survival instincts
from
> TeeVee.)
>
> Seriously, you can build a HOUSE out of SNOW of
temporary
> not dying.
>
> > Any weather that can flat-out kill a healthy
man who's
> just sitting
> > around minding his own business is EVIL.
>
> "and in local news today, another couple of
old people died
> of heat stroke".
>
> ya know? it just ain't right.
>
> heat is just a flash in the pan, cold though, cold's
just
> the soft embrace of entropy.
>
> and snow's a helluva lot prettier than fat people
in thin,
> small clothing.
>
> > Say what you will about some of the people
of the South,
> but the
> > weather's exactly the sort of stuff H. sapiens
is best
> adapted to
> > endure. That means "nice" to those
of us who don't have
> maladaptive
> > temperature circuits and so don't enjoy weather
that can
> easily kill us.
>
> there's only so much clothing you can take off
(ie, ALL of
> it) before you can't take
> off anymore clothing to "cool" off.
>
> but, you can ALWAYS add another pair of socks.
>
> > Plus it's easier to have sex outside when
it's warm.
>
> i'd have to completely disagree.
>
> To me,
> "We have to keep fucking or we will die"
is a hell of a lot
> more compelling than,
>
> "If we fuck, there's a good chance we will:
Die of heat
> stroke, Drown in a bed of swear,
> or Spontaneously Combust."
>
> i came up with this a couple of years after moving
to the
> dirty, stinking, humid south:
>
> In the "North", people move quickly and
are short with each
> other,
> and speak quickly and etc,
> because if they stop moving they will freeze to
death.
>
> In the "South", people move slowly and
speak slowly,
> and take forever to do something, and etc,
> because if they move too quickly they will fall
over dead.
"Everybody talks about the weather but nobody writes
operas about it any
more." - Nenslo
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: chaos_israel@antisocial.com (The Rev. Dr. Lt. Chaos Israel)
"fenian" <fenian@start.ca> wrote:
> I've always wondered how I would
> like the North West Coast. The gray and rainy but
usually cool thing appeals
> to me.
It's 87 degrees in Seattle right now, with--at a guess--85%
humidity.
At 7:45 PM.
That Northwest weather you're talking about ain't here
no more. We've
been taken over by Gulf Coast Texas or something.
Explain to me again how global warming is going to bring
on the next
Ice Age?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: phy <phy00x@yahoo.com>
"Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com> wrote:
> It's noon on July 17, and in a 3rd floor attic
office in Cleveland,
> with all the windows closed and all the electronic
machines on, it is
> still TOO COLD to wear just a t-shirt and jeans.
>
> This is some crayyzeeeee weather these Northern
Ohioans have.
Wanna know what crazy weather really is? We were just
about to "SEE ROCK
CITY" today when it started pouring down. Then
we decided to eat something
and wait it out. We gave up. Ten minutes after we returned
our tickets for
a partial refund and were headed out of town, the sun
broke the clouds
apart. Oh well, I have seen it before... Lake Winnie
was cool though. Ruby
Falls was pretty far out.
-phy
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>
I have dibs on Rock City when X-Day finally comes. (Assuming
the owner
is a Pink.) In fact I have dibs on a shitload of museums
and national
monuments... whole national parks. I should find that
list again and
post it on a zillion newsgroups, to preclude last-minute
arguments over
who gets what. I don't want to end up having a giant
robot fight with,
say, Modemac over which of us gets to put the original
Grand Canyon on
their Escape Vessel.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Two Beans <twobeans@godhatesyou.com>
Just remember, I called ALL of Egypt. I plan on rebuilding
it to its
former glory, as masters of all civilization. Oh yes,
andIi will be
making the egyptian gods manifest too.
If you happen to have a problem with that, take it up
with Anubis when
he weighs your heart.
-2B
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rich Clark, aka The Left Reverend Egg Plant, ULC, CotSG" <spammers_lie@rrclark.net>
Rev. Ivan Stang blasphemed and profaned the "Bob":
> It's noon on July 17, and in a 3rd floor attic
office in Cleveland,
> with all the windows closed and all the electronic
machines on, it is
> still TOO COLD to wear just a t-shirt and jeans.
>
> This is some crayyzeeeee weather these Northern
Ohioans have. I lived
> in South Dakota for two years, and that weather
was NORMAL compared to
> THIS. Or could this be the day just before "the
day after tomorrow"?
> Speaking of which, even though I collect End of
the World movies,
> everything I've heard everywhere about that movie
has caused me to
> avoid even so much as downloading it, much less
paying a theater to
> screen it for me. Now that's BAD WoM.
I grew up and except for my stint in the Marines, I've
lived in the Detroit
area most of my life. Now, having lived in places like
North Carolina, 29
Palms CA, Bridgeport CA, Florida and Okinawa for that
Marine stint have
given me a taste of what life is like in other places.
I'll speak well
here.
This is the most unusual summer I've ever seen here
in Detroit. Yeah, it's
been warm but it's not been *hot*. I've not seen a
summer were we didn't
get into the 80's for at least a run of 6 weeks and
stayed there except for
an occational break of a day or two in the upper 70's.
This moderated
stuff, upper 70's, maybe an occasional 80's is neat
and all but I'm a tad
worried.
It's the end times, I'm tellin' ya.
However, I'll take this nice, moderate shit. My electricity
bills are way
down because I've not had to put up the window air conditioner
and fucking
outside in low 70's or upper 60's temps is *WONDERFUL*.
And that means
less money for THE MAN, I get to keep my cash for better
things.
Rich
--
"No, I don't want your money, I just want to compete
without Microsoft
terrorizing us and everyone in the PC business who works
with us." --
Michael Robertson, Lindows CEO, in email to Gates &
Ballmer, 6/2/04
TINLC Unit #2309 - Death to all spammer accounts. -
WWSB?
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