From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>
Date: Fri, Mar 5, 2004
Here's my theory, and early results are bearing it out.
A whole lot of SubGeniuses sorta halfway kinda wanted
to buy an ARISE
DVD but will put it off forever.
So I announce that a good copy is FREE FREE FREE on
this Usenet
newsgroup. And it is. It's free, it's a good copy, and
it's made and
posted in exactly the same standard way that MOST internet
movie piracy
is done. (It happens in this one case not to be piracy
since it's the
producer/owner himself who's bootlegging it!)
BUT -- 99% of SubGeniuses (and people also) have never
downloaded a
movie from Usenet. In fact, 80% don't know what Usenet
IS, and of the
ones that do, most of them stick to text newsgroups
like alt.slack,
which can be read through a common browser (albeit in
a difficult
fashion).
They might download MP3s of pop songs, and naked pictures,
but that's
mostly done through browsers too, or file sharing.
So they hear ARISE is now FREE and their interest is
perked. In fact,
the more they think about it, and hear about it, the
more they want it.
And it's FREE and, as Stang says, HUMAN BABIES are downloading
movied
from Usenet all the time and BRAGGING about how easy
it is.
So they embark on their first attempt to download a movie.
MAYBE they have a "shiny thumb" and new computer
skills come easily to
them, and they already had a DSL broadband line, and
their ISP happens
to ALREADY CARRY alt.binaries.monter-movies. Maybe.
Then they get
their free movie and everything's keen, in fact, they
now can get TONS
of free movies. (And they'll soon find that Internet
copies are not the
best way to see a movie, but they are often the ONLY
way to see MANY
movies and incredible shorts.)
But PROBABLY they first find that when they click on
my link to
alt.binaries.monter-movies, they're told "this
newsgroup is not
available" by their browser. Or they get to it,
but what they're seeing
through Netscape is a JUMBLED MESS of THOUSANDS of individual
posts
full of baffling numbers. Or, they already have Agent
or Thoth or some
newsreader program, and they can download the movie,
and it doesn't
even take that long, but it comes in as 12 RAR files
instead of a
movie! So they have to figure out how to turn the RAR
files into the
movie (WinRAR or StuffIt Expander). Or some RARs are
incomplete so they
have to use the PAR program (MacPar or fsraid).
FINALLY they have the movie and they click on it and
their movie viewer
says it can play the soundtrack but no picture (or vice
versa) because
the movie viewer needs some exotic "codec".
So they download the codec (DivX, say) and it installs
itself just fine
and they can watch the movie!
OR -- and this is the real key to my PLAN -- they go,
"HOLY FUCKING
SHIT!! This is WAY too much troubl,e for a movie that
ONLY PLAYS ON MY
COMPUTER! Maybe I'll just spend the fucking $20 and
SAVE A FEW DAYS'
WORK!"
Certainly ONE NOBLE SUBGENIUS could download the movie
and then send
CD-R copies to all his friends. Chances are half those
friends won't be
able to play those CD-Rs for one reason or another.
(Most DVD players
DON'T play avis and many don't play CERTAIN VCDs or
SVCDs.)
So my fond hope is, I'll actually sell more copies by giving them away.
An even fonder hope is that several people will find
that this
"downloading movies and everything god damn else"
from Usenet is JUST
GREAT, and they'll thank me (and nu-monet) for dragging
them, kicking
and screaming, into the Internet's PAST -- USENET. Which
really is
still like the lawless Wild West. And then they too
will eventually
become participants instead of just spectators.
Some people prefer file sharing, but they'll all be
in the
concentration camps starting TOMORROW AT NOON.
--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath
of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
PRABOB
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "nu-monet v6.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>
Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
> Here's my theory, and early results are
> bearing it out...
>
> ...99% of SubGeniuses...have never downloaded a
> movie from Usenet.
>
> In fact, 80% don't know what Usenet IS, and of
> the ones that do, most of them stick to text
> newsgroups like alt.slack, which can be read
> through a common browser (albeit in a difficult
> fashion).
75% have discovered their genitalia, so they are
busy.
63.5% are still living with their parent(s), and
have the same esteem as the family pet.
58.2% use Preparation H. improperly.
37% regularly eat weird and unhealthy foods as
part of a failed fad diet.
16% really want the world to end so the pain will
stop.
11% are actively stalking Reverend Stang.
3% believe anything they read on USENET.
--
"It's like the Roman Empire. Wasn't everybody
running around just covered with syphilis?
And then it was destroyed by the volcano."
--Joan Collins
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Selfs Layer <SelfsLayer@spam-me-not-autobot.cod>
damn! he's onto me!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)
"nu-monet v6.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>
wrote:
> 75% have discovered their genitalia, so they are
> busy.
> 63.5% are still living with their parent(s), and
> have the same esteem as the family pet.
> 58.2% use Preparation H. improperly.
> 37% regularly eat weird and unhealthy foods as
> part of a failed fad diet.
> 16% really want the world to end so the pain will
stop.
> 11% are actively stalking Reverend Stang.
> 3% believe anything they read on USENET.
Exactly TWO are black, but will never reveal themselves
at ALL
because "Bob" is INCREDIBLY WHITE and they
are utterly mortified to
have any interest in the Church whatsoever. Plus they
are afraid of
Legume.
I soon expect to see an interactive, downloadable Stang
that responds
only to insults and physcial assaults, at which point
the number of
actual stalkers will drop to about 3% because the rest
will be too
fascinated by the holographic Scribe. Talk about your
online
masturbators! WUGGA WUGGA WUGGA!!
--
HellPope Huey
The Church of the Subgenius a RELIGION?
I thought we were an unruly gang
who was too poor to afford motorcycles
Anybody remotely interesting is mad,
in some way or another.
- "Doctor Who"
You kids today have it easy.
When I was a kid everything was HUGE.
My dad was nearly four times bigger than me.
You couldn't even see the tops of counters...
Then gradually everything became smaller
until it was the manageable size it is today.
- Bizarro
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Doktor DynaSoar <targeting@OMCL.mil>
"nu-monet v6.0"<nothing@succeeds.com>
wrote:
} 58.2% use Preparation H. improperly.
I've always wondered what happened to the people who
volunteered for
the clinical trials for Preperation A though G.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Selfs Layer <SelfsLayer@spam-me-not-autobot.cod>
"Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>
quipped and warbled and generally
subthunked:
>An even fonder hope is that several people will
find that this
>"downloading movies and everything god damn
else" from Usenet is JUST
>GREAT, and they'll thank me (and nu-monet) for dragging
them, kicking
>and screaming, into the Internet's PAST -- USENET.
Which really is
>still like the lawless Wild West. And then they
too will eventually
>become participants instead of just spectators.
Hey, did I ever mention that a.b.s. is the ONLY reason
I started
wading through the enormous amount of work just to download
awesome
(if not whacky) SubGenius mp3's and vids, and I thank
you thank you
thank you for finally giving me a reason to find out
where the Usenet
Oracle of my teenage years came from? It in itself,
although gaily
proliferous (or something), was not sufficient reason,
but now I found
a way to interact with Al Yal from first L.A. then London
then France,
where there's only one other SubGenius I know, and he
hasn't sent his
$30 to "Bob" yet.... As Jack Frost sings,
"It's lonely being one of a
kiiiiiiiiind, etc ect ad infinicum"
ummm, did I mention thanks?
Selfs Layer the not-quite-so-unwashed-as-Fang-but-pretty-damn-close
http://www.reflectionsdivide.com
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Klyf Fenderson <blargh3TURNIP@lycos.com>
Rev. Ivan Stang <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com> heard
voices:
> Here's my theory, and early results are bearing
it out.
>
> A whole lot of SubGeniuses sorta halfway kinda
wanted to buy an ARISE
> DVD but will put it off forever.
>
> So I announce that a good copy is FREE FREE FREE
on this Usenet
> newsgroup. And it is. It's free, it's a good copy,
and it's made and
> posted in exactly the same standard way that MOST
internet movie piracy
> is done. (It happens in this one case not to be
piracy since it's the
> producer/owner himself who's bootlegging it!)
>
> BUT -- 99% of SubGeniuses (and people also) have
never downloaded a
> movie from Usenet. In fact, 80% don't know what
Usenet IS, and of the
> ones that do, most of them stick to text newsgroups
like alt.slack,
> which can be read through a common browser (albeit
in a difficult
> fashion).
And some of us are on lame servers that don't give us
enough daily
bandwidth.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: chip@pobox.com (Chip Salzenberg)
According to stang@subgeniusNOSPUMMY.com:
>Some of us ALSO rent bandwidth on SPECIAL servers
like Giganews.
Or on Easynews.
Now Easynews has NNTP, which is no big deal ... in fact
it's a small
deal because their NNTP service is kind of spotty.
But Easynews has
one thing the others don't:
* They decode the binaries and put them on web pages for you. *
To get ARISE! I didn't have to download hundreds of
Usenet articles
and piece them together into 60 rar files, I downloaded
those 60 rar
files in a nice convenient .zip file that Easynews built
on the spot.
Select, Download, Unzip, Unrar, Enjoy. Kind of like
sex, except for
the download and unrar.
--
Chip Salzenberg - a.k.a. - <chip@pobox.com>
"It furthers one to have somewhere to
go."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Selfs Layer <SelfsLayer@spam-me-not-autobot.cod>
chip@pobox.com (Chip Salzenberg) quipped and warbled
and generally subthunked:
>Select, Download, Unzip, Unrar, Enjoy. Kind of
like sex, except for
>the download and unrar.
Damn man! You forgot the header surcharge!
- Saigneur Selfs Layer, KKP, the dude at the door who
acts really poor
(and who wouldn't know you if you stuck a firecracker
up his bum on Bastille Day)
Le Pape of all Fried Freedom and Little Pink Panty Inspector
http://www.reflectionsdivide.com
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: VT <revbrovt@yahoo.com>
"Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>
wrote:
>My actual Net account is on apk.net. They provide
nice DSL service.
>Their NEWSGROUP selection is FOR SHIT, like the
selection of EVERY
>regular ISP. (Though I have always gotten my ISPs
to carry ngs I wanted
>-- BY ASKING THEM TO -- they still get uneven coverage.)
For newsgroups
>I have an account with Giganews (I used to use Newsguy
but Giga seemed
>faster). which costs me $25 a month or so if I download
16 gigs of
>stuff, or $6 a month if I download just a few movies
or, uh, "games".
Just a bit of FYI, Forte, the fine makers of the Agent
newsreader, now
have a subscription Usernet service. I haven't partaken
in it as of
yet, but interesting to know if anyone is looking.
http://www.forteinc.com/apn/index.php
I am not an employee or have any involvement with Forte
other than
purchasing and using their software.
Reverend Brother VT
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "nu-monet v6.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>
VT wrote:
> I am not an employee or have any involvement
> with Forte other than purchasing and using
> their software.
You can purchase software?
--
"Money can't buy you happiness,
but when you're poor, you can't
buy shit, and nobody will loan
you happiness."
--nu-monet
Original file name: My Theory About Post#1AD097.txt - converted on Saturday, 25 September 2004, 02:05
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