I LOVE THIS NEW BRAIN!!

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Date: Sat, Feb 7, 2004

I must admit that the suspense is STILL unbearable... like the machine
and everything could EXPLODE AT ANY SECOND.

But for those following this ordeal, wondering if I'll ever be able to
make good on their ARISE DVD order, we APPEAR to have nailed down the
solution to my intermittent total crashes...

IT WAS IN FACT SATAN AND HIS HIDEOUS SUNSPOT DEMONS, BOTH!

What they did was, with CONSUMATELY FIENDISH timing, wait until two
days after I'd installed a new processor and RAM before combining TWO
PROBLEMS that actually were TOTALLY UNRELATED to the new processor,
JUST TO SEND ME ON THAT WILD GOOSE CHASE!

I WAS intending to start into a major system overhaul anyway, this just
made it more panicky, so Satan could FEED, and maybe even pay back...
well... I don't want to type that name.

But it turns out MOST LIKELY SO FAR to have been a combination PURE
NO-REASON SUNSPOT-INDUCED SYSTEM PROGRAM "GLITCH" and what was already
probably not an ideal bus situation.

Just before one of the crashes I noticed a FUNNY SOUND coming from ONE
of my 4 external firewire hard drives and realized that I had probably
been hearing that noise before EVERY crash. It was a very faint noise
but not RIGHT.

Since they're all Firewire it shouldn't make any difference what order
the damn things are in but apparently it does.

Then I upgraded the system on the "bad drive" to the latest, OS 10.3.2,
"Panther," and

PRAISE "BOB" AND HOLY FUCKDOG, BATMAN,

but now it works so much better it's SCARING me. I think it's even
making the KEYBOARD KEY BUTTONS work faster. It's apparently making me
grow YOUNGER, and hair that fell out is reattaching itself, floating up
from the carpet around my office chair.

But now I will send this and move on to examing the websites of the
manufacturers of all my peripherals to make sure there isn't some
Oxford bridge fuckety fuck firmware upgrade that GrandPa Teckynerd
didn't tell me about.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
PRABOB

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From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

Rev. Ivan Stang <stang@subgenius.com> wrote:

> But now I will send this and move on to examing the websites of the
> manufacturers of all my peripherals to make sure there isn't some
> Oxford bridge fuckety fuck firmware upgrade that GrandPa Teckynerd
> didn't tell me about.

There was.

You gotta bird-dog that shit, I'm telling you.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
PRABOB

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
> I must admit that the suspense is STILL unbearable... like the machine
> and everything could EXPLODE AT ANY SECOND.

Reminds me of my years in the printing trade. Imagine feeling that
eight hours a day five days a week while inhaling toxic solvent fumes
and having your skull pounded by continuous mechanical kachunkachunka
noises and the top forty radio that the other people can't work
without having REAL LOUD.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Cardinal Vertigo <jhobbs@myrealbox.com>

That explains a lot.

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From: nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>

Oh, it was nothing that a half pint of Southern Comfort every evening
couldn't make slightly less agonizing.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Cardinal Vertigo <jhobbs@myrealbox.com>

That explains even more.

--
"If you're going to 'rebel' against 'The Man' and 'Fight the power,'
maybe y'oughta try doing it without a Hot Topic tag dangling from
your counterculture uniform while you are high on the best grass
money stolen from daddy's wallet can buy." - HellPope Huey

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

It may help explain why some of the very best, truest, most
heartfeltish and funniest stuff in Revelation X is stuff that Nenslo
wrote and drew. It's REAL HILARIOUSLY FUNNY, how FUNNY such suffering
can make SOME FEW.

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From: Doktor DynaSoar <targeting@OMCL.mil>

Well THAT explains....

oh yeah, you said that.

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From: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)

"Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> wrote:
> It may help explain why some of the very best, truest, most
> heartfeltish and funniest stuff in Revelation X is stuff that Nenslo
> wrote and drew. It's REAL HILARIOUSLY FUNNY, how FUNNY such suffering
> can make SOME FEW.

I think one of the main goals of the Church is to find that Funniest
Joke Ever, which, as in that old Monty Python sketch, KILLS everyone
who reads it. If we can just crank the ambient world suffering up to a
sufficient level, some sainted mutant wag like Nenslo, Cosby or myself
may stumble across the right verbal algorithm and suddenly, Church
membership will collapse within a week, except for the truly
clueless/worthless like Meow who never GET a real joke. HE will be our
ultimate legacy, until Rev. Big Boy and Conbo get old enough to recast
"Bob" from the vats, lose that fatal joke, kill the few clinging
dullards, put jumper cables on SubGenius Vat-O-Crap-Again II and oh
shit here we go again. So GET STUPID and STAY STUPID. Its your best
hope for survival. Sort of. And hey, look, no more upgrades required!
Plop.

HellPope Huey / www.subgenius.com
"Whiffle Samurai, Demerol and a 200-watt bass amp."
Name 3 things crucial to a successful Subgenius soiree.

"Once you were dry; I made you juicy."
- Lea & Perrins commercial

"She gave you a look you usually have to download."
- "Joan of Arcadia"

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Dunter Powries" <fech.redcap@spedlin>

MEIN HUND HAT KEINE NÄSE!
WIE RÄKT ER?
SCHLECHT!!!!

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Original file name: I LOVE THIS NEW BRAIN!!.txt - converted on Saturday, 25 September 2004, 02:05