Busy Holiday for a SubGenius Scribe

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>
Date: Thu, Apr 1, 2004

I woke up, so to speak, looked at the calendar and went, Oh shit, the
Pink "SubGenius" Holiday, I never do anything for it, should I for once
think of something? Then I remembered -- I was already in the process
of doing it already. I just got on the ball and finished it. My neck
hurts from the physical act of doing this, but here's what I did for
April Fool's Day 2004:

Posted to alt.binaries.mp3.soundtracks:
ARISE! audio soundtrack in mp3 (with album covers!)

Posted the eerie short Onan's Confession, unexplained, under the title
"Confession.mpg" to:
alt.binaries.vcd
alt.binaries.documentaries
alt.binaries.movies
alt.binaries.multimedia.scifi
alt.binaries.multimedia.comedy

Posted the One Minute SubGenius Commercial in appropriate various
formats to:
alt.binaries.multimedia
alt.binaries.multimedia.scifi
alt.binaries.multimedia.comedy
alt.binaries.multimedia.documentaries
alt.binaries.documentaries
alt.binaries.witchblade
alt.binaries.movies.divx
alt.binaries.svcd

Posted to alt.binaries.documentaries and alt.binaries.vcd.svcd:
Reproduction Cycle Among Lower Life Forms Under the Rocks of Mars

Posted ARISE! in DivX to
alt.binaries.movies.dvx

Posted "Let's Visit the World of the Future" documentary to
alt.binaries.monter-movies

All of the above posted roughly in that order

Posted all of Hour of Slack 937 to alt.binaries.slack yesterday.

It's 11 am April 1 now, as I type this, having finished the posting
process from my end. However, it will take my computer all today and
most of the night, maybe longer, to squeeze it all up through the
narrow pipes of my DSL line.

On the average DSL connection, like mine, you can download faster than
14 and a half motherfuckers, to quote Sterno. But uploading is like a
reverse trickle -- ants shoving golf balls through a garden hose. Like
UNSHITTING, you might say.

Now I shall sort every bit of art sent to alt.binaries.slack since
Xistmaslessness and hide inside SubSITE for awhile.

Goddamn it, first day of the month, wouldn't you know, all the programs
want to phone home and update themselves. My Norton Antivirus window
suddenly appeared and got in my face. These dang machines.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
PRABOB

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
> I woke up, so to speak, looked at the calendar and went, Oh shit, the
> Pink "SubGenius" Holiday, I never do anything for it, should I for once
> think of something?

I changed the furnace filter and did yard work. Oh, and I bought the
big galvanized iron watering can I have been lusting after for over a
year. It is so cool.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>

FUCK the furnace filter, Nenslo! What are you, a SubGenius or a Pink?
LET that fucker build up dust and scrud -- "Strength Through
Disfigurement". Have you gone all normally-wormally on us, boy?!?

Oh I get it, that flat response was YOUR April Fools gag. Drat!
Downstaged by Nenslo AGAIN!

Well, you can have your iron watering can, I'm going back into the
Matrix where the watering can images are all diamond-studded and free
and proffered by topless hippie girl images. And where the yard goes on
for ever and ever even if it's all imaginary.

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Original file name: Busy Holiday for a S#1AD07C.txt - converted on Saturday, 25 September 2004, 02:05