20 Year Anniversay of Dobbs' Assassination

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Date: Wed, Jan 28, 2004

... was days ago and we all fucking FORGOT it!!

Jan. 21, 1984... Victoria Theater, San Francisco.... Dobbs shot and
killed by Puzzling Evidence before a PAYING AUDIENCE of 700 people.

The date given in the Simon & Schuster book, Jan 31, is a missprint.
Come to think of it, maybe it's just me that forgot. But I did just
post the 4-part long report on the shooting a couple of weeks ago.

Only in THIS RELIGION would every member of every congregation FORGET
THEIR "EASTER."

Actually Dr. Howll didn't forget, apparently. I was talking to a mutual
friend, Rev. Shirley, today and in passing Rev. Shirley mentioned that
Howll had been musing about a "Night of Slack Reunion" in San
Francisco. That was when I realized that the Night of Slack was 20
years ago. Twenty years ago on Jan. 21. Which was several days ago.

Well, SHEEE-IT.

Would the DISCORDIANS go and FORGET the day Eris got her cherry tree
picked? Would the SZULKALSKIANS forget the day the PROTONG was
published? Would... well, probably. The fucking Branch Davidians had to
be told what day to expect David Koresh back (he had said it would be
1,000 days after he died, but they hadn't bothered to calculate what
day that would land on! --long since come and gone). But still.
Nu-Monet even has that cool calendar of Saints but the Killing of our
High Epopt isn't on it. (In some ways it does qualify as a birthday.)

God damn, fuckity fuck fuck.

What could possibly have affected our memories so? It's almost as if
some memory-smothering drug or gas has been blown across our collective
brainpans.

'Cause it would have been a GREAT excuse to get fucked up. Hell I'd'a
gotten my dolly and wheeled the corpse up out of the basement in its
block of lucite just for the party.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
PRABOB

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shining Path of Least Resistance <shinpath@osb.att.ne.jp>

I was there and the memory is indelibly stamped upon my still
twitching brain. Especially the voices from behind the curtain
taunting the spectators..."GO HOME! GO MAKE YOUR OWN SHOW!!"

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Unclaimed Mysteries <theletter_k_andthenumeral_4_doh@unclaimedmysteries.net>

Who's in charge here, "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>? Where's
my Captain's Wafers? (in part):

> ... was days ago and we all fucking FORGOT it!!
>
> Jan. 21, 1984... Victoria Theater, San Francisco.... Dobbs shot and
> killed by Puzzling Evidence before a PAYING AUDIENCE of 700 people.

That was three years before I had even heard of the Church of the
SubGenius. To this day, many isolated societies such as Paupa New Guinea
and northeast Kentucky still haven't heard of it.

I just forgot about it and remembered it six times while writing this
sentence.

So it's no surprise that you weren't reminded. To most of us, it's just
another made-up date in a fictional timeline.

Here's what you do, Satahng: Starting now plan for a twenty-five-year
"Jubilee of Death" for Dobbs in 2009. Make it as big if not bigger than
X-Day. Unlike X-Day 1998, at least this event *will* come to pass one
way or another, guaranteed.

Put together a Ken Burns-style documentary complete with sepia-colored
photos, heck, sepia-colored video, heart-rending letters read by
voiceover narrators with vocal cords hanging down into their stomachs,
the works.

Forget that and let's get to work on the feature filumn. If Tim Burton
can spend several weeks in "Bob"-forsaken Wetumpka Alabama to make "Big
Fish" surely one of you "creatives" can shoot some footage on location
in long-abandoned Dobbstown. (Travel advisory note: Now under new
"management," Dobbstown is now Camp al-Dobbs.)

Make up some new crap about flying saucers coming to take us away. Some
day you might just hit the jackpot. ZEN WHO'LL HAFF ZE LAST LAFF????

Deep down I had always hoped that on July 6 1998 everybody involved
would have dropped their church name, folded up the website and
newsgrope, and disavowed ever having anything to do with this operation.
That would have been cool.

But I guess you, Stang, had too much UNSOLD INVENTORY in the warehouse
to do that, eh?

73 Corry K4DOH
--
It Came From C. L. Smith's Unclaimed Mysteries.
http://www.unclaimedmysteries.net

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

Unclaimed Mysteries <theletter_k_andthenumeral_4_doh@unclaimedmysteries.net> wrote:
> Deep down I had always hoped that on July 6 1998 everybody involved
> would have dropped their church name, folded up the website and
> newsgrope, and disavowed ever having anything to do with this operation.
> That would have been cool.

No, that's what a bunch of pussies would do. As if it was all just
performance art.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
PRABOB

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Doktor DynaSoar <targeting@OMCL.mil>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> wrote:
} In article <8h2Sb.1067$jH6.495@newsread1.news.atl.earthlink.net>,
} Unclaimed Mysteries
} <theletter_k_andthenumeral_4_doh@unclaimedmysteries.net> wrote:
}
} > Deep down I had always hoped that on July 6 1998 everybody involved
} > would have dropped their church name, folded up the website and
} > newsgrope, and disavowed ever having anything to do with this operation.
} > That would have been cool.
}
} No, that's what a bunch of pussies would do. As if it was all just
} performance art.

Fer real. A true cult always becomes STRONGER and MORE COMMITTED
following the failure of its major predictions to occur.

Or else they take the Kool-Aid route.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)

"Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> wrote:
> Hell I'd'a
> gotten my dolly and wheeled the corpse up out of the basement in its
> block of lucite just for the party.

Mmm, block of lucite..... I love lucite.

HellPope Huey / www.subgenius.com
Congress is usually like Def Jam for retards

"I'm not saying the future is necessarily
less predictable than the past.
I think the past was not predictable when it started."
- Donald Rumsfeld

"Could we talk about something more pleasant,
like ear mites?"
- "Judging Amy"

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: pipe_phol_monty@subgenius.T\/ (Pipe Phol Monty)

>->stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang) wrote:
> ... was days ago and we all fucking FORGOT it!!
>
> Jan. 21, 1984... Victoria Theater, San Francisco.... Dobbs shot and
> killed by Puzzling Evidence before a PAYING AUDIENCE of 700 people.
>
> The date given in the Simon & Schuster book, Jan 31, is a missprint.
> Come to think of it, maybe it's just me that forgot. But I did just
> post the 4-part long report on the shooting a couple of weeks ago.
>
> Only in THIS RELIGION would every member of every congregation FORGET
> THEIR "EASTER."

_NOT_ a misprint. Like Easter, this is a moveable feast.

Phil Monty
Pope of the North of England
and Mornington Crescent
speaking for UK SubGenius Heresy.
incorporating the Church of Scatology and science of DIURETICS
_________________________________
"remember: If you`re not offending somebody, then you're not doing it right"

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Reverend Vertigo <jhobbs@myrealbox.com>

Exactly. I don't know about you guys, but *I* intend to throw a hella
party on the 31st, and anyone who says it was the 21st is WRONG, dead
WRONG, because the BOOK says it was the 31st.

--
"If you're going to 'rebel' against 'The Man' and 'Fight the power,'
maybe y'oughta try doing it without a Hot Topic tag dangling from
your counterculture uniform while you are high on the best grass
money stolen from daddy's wallet can buy." - HellPope Huey

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com>

It was February 31st, you EDUCATED STUPID CUBELESS WORD HELL PERSON.

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

"Reports that say something hasn't happened are always
interesting to me, because as we know, there are known
knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know
there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there
are some things we do not know. But there are also
unknown unknowns -- the ones we don't know we don't know."
-- Donald Rumsfeld, (making things clear)

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Geo" <geovoice@earthlink.net>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> wrote:
> ... was days ago and we all fucking FORGOT it!!
>
> Jan. 21, 1984... Victoria Theater, San Francisco.... Dobbs shot and
> killed by Puzzling Evidence before a PAYING AUDIENCE of 700 people.
>
Damn...
I feel remiss...

I shall go pay penance, and beat my self senseless in retribution...

Rev.Geo, who was only 15 when the piped one passed this mortal plane...

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Doktor DynaSoar <targeting@OMCL.mil>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> wrote:
} ... was days ago and we all fucking FORGOT it!!

My wife and I woke up one morning while camping in the Black Hills. I
looked at her and said:

"You know what? We missed our first anniversary."

"Really? When was it."

"Two days ago, on the 31st."

"You sure? I though we got married on the 30th."

"No, I don't think so. I'll find a calendar and check later."

And we never did. Thus setting a wonderful precedent of "fuck the
past". In fact, if you ask both of us, I bet you'd get different
answers on how long ago it was, even though it's been single digits.

So Dobbs got himself killed. Not much news there. If he gets himself
killed again, let me know, because THAT'S news.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

Doktor DynaSoar <targeting@OMCL.mil> wrote:
> "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> wrote:
> So Dobbs got himself killed. Not much news there. If he gets himself
> killed again, let me know, because THAT'S news.

Actually it did happen again, in 1985, in L.A., but after that even
Dobbs got bored with the routine. It's like the Bleeding Heads of major
sports figures -- you can only launch them so many times before it
comes time to just DYNAMITE them.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
PRABOB

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com>

ALSO SPRACH Rev. Ivan Stang:
>It's like the Bleeding Heads of major
>sports figures -- you can only launch them so many times before it
>comes time to just DYNAMITE them.

you say that like it's a bad thing.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Doktor DynaSoar <targeting@OMCL.mil>

Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com> wrote:
} ALSO SPRACH Rev. Ivan Stang:
} >It's like the Bleeding Heads of major
} >sports figures -- you can only launch them so many times before it
} >comes time to just DYNAMITE them.
}
} you say that like it's a bad thing.

Yeah, I think it's a great thing. Of course, having so many other
incindiaries going off at the same time that it blows up without
warning, that's a little unnerving. But hey, that's just part of the
fun.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com>

ALSO SPRACH Doktor DynaSoar:

>Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com> wrote:
>} ALSO SPRACH Rev. Ivan Stang:
>}
>} >It's like the Bleeding Heads of major
>} >sports figures -- you can only launch them so many times before it
>} >comes time to just DYNAMITE them.
>}
>} you say that like it's a bad thing.
>
>Yeah, I think it's a great thing. Of course, having so many other
>incindiaries going off at the same time that it blows up without
>warning, that's a little unnerving. But hey, that's just part of the
>fun.

unnerving is for those fools with nervers.

nervse.

ner ves

nerves.

jeebus fuck I'm drucknnk.

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

One man's hell is another man's theme park

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)

> >} ALSO SPRACH Rev. Ivan Stang:
> >}
> >} >It's like the Bleeding Heads of major
> >} >sports figures -- you can only launch them so many times before it
> >} >comes time to just DYNAMITE them.

Is it MY turn yet? C'mon, you selfish fuckers. I went to bed at 1,
woke up at 5 and there's a goddamned rap-backed iPod commercial on the
TV, AGAIN. Its well-nigh time, surely. Fuck "Bob," I want mine.

HellPope Huey / www.subgenius.com
I will shit bricks in a variety of colors and novelty shapes
if I actually gain any real notoriety
from being a creative weirdo.

If even one of my relatives had
any kind of money or property
which it looked like I could acquire by sucking up,
I'd be on their doorstep right now
with a steaming casserole in my hands,
ringing the doorbell with my nose.
-Nenslo

"Just because you're right doesn't mean you win."
- "Judging Amy"

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Unclaimed Mysteries <theletter_k_andthenumeral_4_doh@unclaimedmysteries.net>

Oh yes, you'll get your iPod soon enough. And one day you'll pray that
you find some way to GET IT OFF YOU, or even turn it off for ONE BLESSED
MINUTE while you try to SLEEP. Even if it kills you. Those tentacles run
deep, and they wrap TIGHTLY around the nerves.

--
It Came From C. L. Smith's Unclaimed Mysteries.
http://www.unclaimedmysteries.net

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: mshotz@aol.commonkeypo (Rev. Richard Skull)

>'Cause it would have been a GREAT excuse to get fucked up. Hell I'd'a
>gotten my dolly and wheeled the corpse up out of the basement in its
>block of lucite just for the party.

Take it out of the Lucite and maybe it will explode like that Whale in Taiwan!

MSHOTZ: The Post Post Modern Man

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Hilbert Hooper Aspaspia <britton@subgenius.com>

Be careful!
You might have a visit from "VH1 personality Aamer Haleem"
http://www.vh1.com/shows/dyn/bands_reunited/series.jhtml

> Each episode of VH1's Bands Reunited chronicles the effort to reunite a
popular band from decades past, long since broken up.

Up one level
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Original file name: 20 Year Anniversay o#1AD076.txt - converted on Saturday, 25 September 2004, 02:05