They're Everywhere! They're Everywhere!

From: "nu-monet v6.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>
Date: Sun, Aug 10, 2003

Over the last year, local and federal law-enforcement
officials say they have noted a marked increase in teen
prostitution across the country.

"Teen prostitution is no longer confined to the cities
or even the suburbs, but is happening in the churches
and synagogues and schools and grocery stores and even
Wal-Marts across the United States", said a spokesman
who denied the announcement had anything to do with
upcoming annual budget hearings on Capitol Hill.

"However," he added, "if Congress is so blind as to
not appropriate lots of additional money for law
enforcement, the statisticians can pretty well
guarantee that lots of really awful and shameful
things will be taking place between innocent and
untouched good girls from respectable families of
the demographic most likely to vote, for ridiculously
low amounts of money or even trade goods, with really
awful guys who should be in prison."

He then cited a list of "disgusting creeps" who
would be committing perverted acts with America's
young girls:

-- Computer geeks, some of whom are in their 30s
and 40s and still living with their parents,
often in exchange for pirated software or CDs.

-- Overweight and balding men experiencing mid-life
crises and drive around in sports cars wearing
Hawaiian shirts with gold neck chains and who
wear Speedos at the beach beyond any semblance
of good taste. $5 for a blowjob, not knowing
any better.

-- Long-haired greasy musician types in suck-ass
rock bands that play Dokken cover tunes but so
badly that nobody knows they're Dokken cover
tunes. Giving up that precious cherry for FREE!

-- Some gang-banger asshole named "Jose" who has
already boned half the teen girls in the western
United States because their friends did, and
will probably knock her up so she has to move
back in with her parents unless they can make
her get an abortion in Canada or something.

-- Lesbians who seek to convert teen girls to a life
of raising dogs while surrounded by New Mexican
Art Deco design at their home in Tucson, between
teaching classes in basic English at the local
Community College.

"All of which is clearly demonstrated in this year's
Serial Killer-Child Porn-Terrorism-Alien Invader-Road
Rage--and Teenage Gangs and Prostitution Report now
available from the FBI."

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: idrmrsr <idrmrsr@subgenius.com>

nu-monet:
>>Teen prostitution is no longer confined to the cities
or even the suburbs, but is happening in the churches
and synagogues and schools and grocery stores and even
Wal-Marts<<

Ah, shit. I just got HOME from Walmart. I knew I forgot SOMETHING.

[*]
-----

Up one level
Back to document index

Original file name: They're Everywhere! #19173B.txt - converted on Saturday, 25 September 2004, 02:05