Fundamental Problem of Life

From: iDRMRSR <idrmrsr@subgenius.com>
Date: Fri, Aug 22, 2003

Science just keeps on finding ways to extend the human life. Adding
decades and decades of time to your lifespan.

But the real problem is, there's only so many ways to masturbate.

[*]
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From: subspecies23@aol.comyourmom (SubSpecies23)

Man, tell me about it. I'm only 23 and already bored with masturbation. It's
little more than a habit and a need now. Of course, I'm a chronic two or three
times a day masturbator, have been ever since I first started masturbating when
I was 13. So, doing some quick calculations, I figure I've masturbated at
least 7500 times already in my life. No wonder my dick's so small, I've worn
it away with all that constant friction.

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EVERY SQUARE FUCKDORK WITH A PIPE... *IS NOT "BOB"* -- Ivan Stang

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From: polar bear <bear@pole.com>

http://www.rlord.com/

HTH

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From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

Ahh, but there are more SUBJECTS for masturbation than there are fish
in the sea. For not only do you have every single one of theose fish as
potential squirt-fodder, but you haven't even STARTED on the land
animals much less the invertebrates.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
PRABOB

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From: "nu-monet v6.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>

Naw, you just have to get "unconventional" with
alternative forms of masturbation, such as
politics, higher education, and, you guessed it,
religion.

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From: joecosby@mindspring.com (Joe Cosby)

I bet he hasn't even tried Ann Coulter yet.

APPLY YOURSELF, BOY!

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From: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)

Method #24: alt.slack. Yankin' the Dobbs, yankin' the Dobbs!

HellPope Huey, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
Oblique, so bleak, noblesse obligie

"He called the Village Voice
and had my apartment listed as a methadone clinic."
- "Stark Raving Mad"

Parting is all we know of Heaven and all we need of Hell.
- "Babylon 5"

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Original file name: Fundamental Problem of Life.txt - converted on Saturday, 25 September 2004, 02:05