Subject: Martian Heathens?

From: "iDRMRSR" <idrmrsr@subgenius.com>
Date: Sat, Mar 27, 2004 9:08 PM

Now that everybody knows there was water there, it's probable there was life
there too. Have you ever seen a puddle anywhere that didn't have pond scum
at least?

So the next question will be, is it a cold dead planet because the heathens
there didn't do something Jesus wanted them to do? Follow up question, how
could he have sent them a message in the first place using the available
technology in 0 BC; or did they have some less powerful jesoid of their own
who eventually had them all destroyed by less than divine intervention?

Let's say they did. They prolly didn't have trees, so the whole
cruxifiction question is in doubt. You have to have available materials to
string up your own jesoid, and they must be shaped in such a way as to line
up with the jesoid's external prehensile projections. It must be made of a
material light enough for one single jesoid to drag through the streets.
Interesting engineering question here.

The jesoid's origin must be in question, too. If Martians simply divided,
the whole immaculate conception business goes away.

And where DID all the souls of the presumed Martians end up, anyhow?

Prolly the same place all the souls of Tyson's Chickens go.

[*]
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From: "nu-monet v6.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>

Mars was destroyed by weapons from the future.
There, does that make you feel any better?

--
"Do not EVER watch a Rammstein video when
you are fried on Hawaiian mushrooms."
--take my word for it

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From: drdark@37.com (DoktorDark)

Here's an article on filaments already spotted in the soil:

http://www.earthfiles.com/news/news.cfm?ID=676&category=Science

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From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>

>
> http://www.earthfiles.com/news/news.cfm?ID=676&category=Science

Linda Moulton Howe?

KOOK ALERT.

She appears to have an agenda that tends to exclude non-alien-life
explanations for things like crop circles and cattle mutilations. I
could be wrong but I tend to think of her as a "believer," and I don't
mean in Dobbs doctrine, neither.

The whole argument is crazy anyway. "WAS there "EVER" life on Mars?
Maybe hopefully some microbes? Dare we hope?" GIVE ME A BREAK!! Mars is
LITTERED with evidence that it USED TO BE what we NOW think of as
"EARTH." The one we're on now is scheduled to be the NEXT lifeless
shithole! DUH!!! DUH!!! But, I guess addicts to UNforbidden science
will carry on in their denial, seeing only what they want to see...
"fossil algae," never admitting that the algae is only 70 years old,
and is on the side of what used to be a SWIMMING POOL.

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Subject: Re: Martian Heathens?
From: "nu-monet v6.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>

Isn't it PRETTY DAMN OBVIOUS what's going to happen
on Mars?

1) After the first few settlements arrive on Mars,
they'll *have* to be communistic for a while, but
that will grate on Earthian capitalists, so they
will:

2) Encourage "settlers" to go to Mars, with the
PROMISE OF FREEDOM IN A NEW LAND. A wild West kind
of place with NO gun control, or liquor control, or
even drug control, legalized prostitution, gambling,
smoking, junk food and REALLY LOW TAXES and DAMN FEW
LAWMEN! But the FIRST thing the settlers will want
to do is:

3) "Civilize" the place. To OUTLAW all the fun
stuff and make Mars CHILD FRIENDLY and a NICE PLACE
TO LIVE. But that will get the capitalists all
riled up again, because they want Mars to be a:

4) NICE PLACE TO DO BUSINESS. With robber barons
taking advantage of the low CORPORATE taxes, while
encouraging HIGH INCOME TAXES from the POOR, to pay
for BIG CORPORATE PROJECTS like having a BIG MARTIAN
MILITARY and professional sports stadiums to counter
the THREAT FROM EARTH. Which, of course means that:

5) The Earthians both start building up their arms
in an ARMS RACE, while accusing the Martians of being
BELLIGERANT AND AGGRESSIVE for ACCUSING the Earthians
of being BELLIGERANT AND AGGRESSIVE. And this can
only mean ONE thing:

6) WAR BETWEEN EARTH AND MARS!

7) But what the HATED INFIDEL FASCIST Martians don't
know is that Earth can send the ULTIMATE BOMB BACK IN
TIME AND OBLITERATE MARS with only minor collateral
damage on Earth wiping out the dinosaurs but who cares?

So ALL THAT IS LEFT OF MARS TODAY IS A FREEZING WASTELAND
WITH JUST RUDIMENTARY FOSSILS OF LIFE EKEING OUT A
MISERABLE EXISTENCE ON AN ATMOSPHERELESS ROCK.

And that will teach those fucking Martian bastards.

--
"Mars was destroyed with weapons from the future.
There, does that make you feel any better?"
-- nu-monet

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Original file name: Martian Heathens? - converted on Saturday, 25 September 2004, 02:05