From: "nu-monet v6.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>
Date: Tue, Aug 19, 2003
IS Madonna's hubby, Guy Ritchie, risking his reputation
as a filmmaker because of the couple's kooky obsession
with kabbalah?
At one point, Sony was interested in producing Ritchie's
new project, "Revolver," a crime caper set
in Las Vegas,
we're told. But when studio execs saw the script, they
balked because it was loaded with kabbalah references.
Ritchie and Madonna, along with pals like Demi Moore
and
Sandra Bernhard, have become increasingly devoted to
the
bastardized form of Jewish mysticism to the point where
Madonna demands "kabbalah water" in all her
hotel rooms.
"It made Sony very uncomfortable," one Hollywood
suit
told PAGE SIX. "Kabbalah is seen as a kind of cult
in
some circles" - it's been harshly criticized by
famed
cult investigator Rick Ross - "and no one wanted
to be
associated with it.
"Guy's agents told him to rewrite 'Revolver' [without
the
kabbalah plugs] and maybe it would sell. He resisted
at
first, but when Sony passed and said it would only do
the movie with a rewrite he said OK."
Ritchie ended up doing a rewrite to everyone's
satisfaction. But only a few days after it was
submitted he called his agents at William Morris and
fired them. He also let it be known the rewrite would
be scrapped.
"Guy apparently felt he had to be true to his kabbalah
beliefs and not stick with the rewrite," our spy
says.
"He was apologetic but felt he had to go to CAA
- where
Madonna's agent [Bryan Lourd] was and where they would
support his kabbalah vision for the movie."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: polar bear <bear@pole.com>
http://www.rickross.com/reference/kabbalah/kabbalah35.html
> Celebrated followers include Mick Jagger, Barbra
Streisand, Roseanne
> Barr, Jeff Goldblum, and Elizabeth Taylor. Models
Jerry Hall and Naomi
> Campbell both wear the red bracelets the Kabbalah
recommends to ward
> off negativity.
With all the wealthy celebrities floating around seeking
enlightenment,
you'd think the COTSG could have a captured a few of
it's own by now.
We definitely need better marketing.
pb
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
All we need is somebody who can keep a straight face
while they spew
out simple-minded, happy-crappy bullshit swathed in
some invented bunch
of gobbledygoop that appears to be vastly complex and
mysterious. We
have more than enough of the impressive-sounding stupid
gobbledegoop,
but the straight-faced part... ironically enough, there
seems to be a
"damnable streak of honesty" holding us back.
We don't even need the straight face. We only need ONE
*REAL* MORON
WITH LOTS OF INHERITED MONEY. But that's not the category
of real moron
that J.R. "Bob" Dobbs' philosophy appeals
to, so far.
In a world where these people are considered "brilliant"
-- Mick
Jagger, Barbra Streisand, Roseanne Barr, Jeff Goldblum,
and Elizabeth
Taylor... Jerry Hall and Naomi Campbell -- we should
be very PROUD
INDEED that our celebrity endorsers are limited to former
children's
show hosts convicted of public lewdness, deceased counterculture
dope
spokesfiends, underground cartoonists banned in Canada,
NO MOVIE STARS
AT ALL, kookbusting stage magicians, and novelty bands
in which not
only does the band have a funny name, but everybody
IN the band has a
funny name, and wears a mask.
--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath
of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
PRABOB
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: modemac@modemac.com (Modemac)
"Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
wrote:
> In a world where these people are considered "brilliant"
-- Mick
> Jagger, Barbra Streisand, Roseanne Barr, Jeff Goldblum,
and Elizabeth
> Taylor... Jerry Hall and Naomi Campbell -- we should
be very PROUD
> INDEED that our celebrity endorsers are limited
to former children's
> show hosts convicted of public lewdness, deceased
counterculture dope
> spokesfiends, underground cartoonists banned in
Canada, NO MOVIE STARS
> AT ALL, kookbusting stage magicians, and novelty
bands in which not
> only does the band have a funny name, but everybody
IN the band has a
> funny name, and wears a mask.
One movie star...however, Reverend Bruce Campbell doesn't
publicize
it. According to Sister Decadence (who confirmed that
he is indeed a
paid-up member), he joined our Church under a pseudonym.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: polar bear <bear@pole.com>
So much for anonimity.
Good luck shaking him down now.
pb
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: When Dumbshittedness Strikes!
Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
polar bear <bear@pole.com> wrote:
>>With all the wealthy celebrities floating around
seeking enlightenment,
>>you'd think the COTSG could have a captured
a few of it's own by now.
>>
>>We definitely need better marketing.
>
> All we need is somebody who can keep a straight
face while they spew
> out simple-minded, happy-crappy bullshit swathed
in some invented bunch
> of gobbledygoop that appears to be vastly complex
and mysterious. We
> have more than enough of the impressive-sounding
stupid gobbledegoop,
> but the straight-faced part... ironically enough,
there seems to be a
> "damnable streak of honesty" holding
us back.
When it comes to separating your 'church' from oodles
of cash, I call it
st,pidity, not honesty. I guess you mean HUEV"N
when you say slack.
>
> We don't even need the straight face. We only need
ONE *REAL* MORON
> WITH LOTS OF INHERITED MONEY. But that's not the
category of real moron
> that J.R. "Bob" Dobbs' philosophy appeals
to, so far.
>
> In a world where these people are considered "brilliant"
-- Mick
> Jagger, Barbra Streisand, Roseanne Barr, Jeff Goldblum,
and Elizabeth
> Taylor... Jerry Hall and Naomi Campbell -- we should
be very PROUD
> INDEED that our celebrity endorsers are limited
to former children's
> show hosts convicted of public lewdness, deceased
counterculture dope
> spokesfiends, underground cartoonists banned in
Canada, NO MOVIE STARS
> AT ALL, kookbusting stage magicians, and novelty
bands in which not
> only does the band have a funny name, but everybody
IN the band has a
> funny name, and wears a mask.
>
Proud.......whatever.
I know a cashcow when I see one.
Time to put together a "path of enlightenment"
doctrine based in the
Cook Islands......how 'bout.....Babylon of the Ethereal
Jellyfish.
Aim higher SubGeez, I am!
SBJ
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "nikolai kingsley" <nikolai@broadway.net.au>
> Ritchie and Madonna, along with pals like Demi
Moore and
> Sandra Bernhard, have become increasingly devoted
to the
> bastardized form of Jewish mysticism to the point
where
> Madonna demands "kabbalah water" in all
her hotel rooms.
kabbalah viagra. any second now.
nikolai
---
shit, i said the magic word. i'm gonna get a ton of
spam for that.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: subspecies23@aol.comyourmom (SubSpecies23)
This is the first time I've ever heard of this Kabbalah
thing. I mean, I've
heard of the ancient Jewish tradition and all that,
and I've read Alestair
Crowely books about it, but I didn't know it was the
new "In Thing."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "nu-monet v6.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>
SubSpecies23 wrote:
> This is the first time I've ever heard of
> this Kabbalah thing.
It's pretty easy to explain, really. Imagine some
old Jewish guy way back trying to explain that JHVH-1
is a guy and therefore the universe is a guy thing,
but everytime he writes something down, his wife hits
him on the head and tells him he's full of it and to
write down what she thinks. And he doesn't have an
eraser. And then she leaves the room and he starts
writing down what he really things again.
Which explains why half the time JHVH-1 is like
Sauron from Lord of the Rings, and the other half is
like the mother in law from hell. Except throw in
some oriental fortune telling shit and there you
are--kabbalah in a nutshell.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: polar bear <bear@pole.com>
subspecies23@aol.comyourmom (SubSpecies23) wrote:
> This is the first time I've ever heard of this
Kabbalah thing. I mean, I've
> heard of the ancient Jewish tradition and all that,
and I've read Alestair
> Crowely books about it, but I didn't know it was
the new "In Thing."
Well, the Madonna connection starts around 1997
but the cult itself goes back at least 20 years, so
I don't know if you could call it new.
More info here: www.rickross.com/groups/kabbalah.html
I think we could learn a great deal from the example,
particularly as
it relates to distorting the original message of our
own church. After
all, isn't that what "Bob" would do? We
could start by emphatically
denying that "Bob" is interested only in your
money. I myself never
believed that for one instant. "Bob" is the
original Slackmaster, and
since Slack is the infinite force which drives the universe,
I'm sure
his intention was to share it abundantly with all who
are hungry (but
not starving) for the truth. Naturally, this would
involve
constructing Slack training centers around the world,
with a cadre of
willing "volunteers" to help spread the message,
and at today's real
estate prices that won't come cheap. Still, where
there's a will,
there's a way, as these other cults so amply demonstrate,
and after
all, what force in the universe could be mightier than
the Will of
"Bob?"
pb
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