Three Proofs of Jesus

From: modemac@modemac.com (Modemac)
Date: Thu, Apr 15, 2004

There are 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:

1. He called everyone "brother"

2. He liked Gospel

3. He couldn't get a fair trial.

But then there are 3 equally good arguments that Jesus

was Jewish:

1. He went into His Fathers business.

2. He lived at home until he was 33.

3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his mother

thought he was God.

But then there are 3 equally good arguments that Jesus

was Italian:

1. He talked with his hands.

2. He had wine with every meal.

3. He used olive oil.

But then there are 3 equally good arguments that Jesus

was a Californian:

1. He never cut his hair.

2. He walked around barefoot all the time.

3. He started a new religion.

But then there are 3 equally good arguments that Jesus

was Irish:

1. He never got married.

2. He was always telling stories.

3. He loved green pastures.

But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs

that Jesus was a woman:

1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was

no food.

2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch

of men who just didn't get it

3. And even when he was dead, He had to get up because

there was more work to do.

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From: "Rev. ErRoR" <error@priest.SPAMcom>

LOVErLY !
Why wasn't Jesus born in Ireland ?
They couldn't find three wise men and a Virgin.
err.

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From: "HdMrs. Salacia the Overseer" <SeventhSqueal@SlowOnTheUptake.edu>

This looks like one of those xian chain letter jokes that my Mom sends to
her entire e-mail list every week or so.

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From: Cardinal Vertigo <jhobbs@myrealbox.com>

I love things like this, because they're the "ball" in a game that a
friend and I enjoy.

This friend has infiltrated the HQ of what is perhaps THE scariest
"mainstream" Xtian fundamentalist denomination on the planet. I e-mail
things like this to him. He passes them on to a select few cow-orkers
because he KNOWS they will forward it to FUCKING EVERYONE ON EARTH.

And we wager on how many times they will come back around to him.

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From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com>

"HdMrs. Salacia the Overseer" <SeventhSqueal@SlowOnTheUptake.edu> wrote:
>This looks like one of those xian chain letter jokes that my Mom sends to
>her entire e-mail list every week or so.

You're relatively lucky. The ones I get from my mom always have a
moral to the story about how everybody is equal and we shouldn't work
so hard. The ones I get from my dad always have a moral about the
value of hard work.

Actually I guess I can see why they wound up getting divorced, now.

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From: "ghost" <ghost@ghost.net>

Jesus is only 3 proof?

"Bob" is 99.9 proof.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "nu-monet v6.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>

1 Proof is .5%

"Bob" is 199.9 proof.

("Proof" was originally derived by mixing alcohol
with gunpowder, then applying a match. If it
burned, it was "proof". It was later standardized
to mean half a percent. So 100 proof is 50% alcohol.)

--
Unless there is some reason for investigation,
the federal law and the Constitution still
protect the rights of citizens.
--FBI agent Greg Stejskal

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Original file name: Three Proofs of Jesus.txt - converted on Saturday, 25 September 2004, 02:05