Rev Stang could do it

From: "nu-monet v6.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>
Date: Wed, Jun 16, 2004

...but there's only one way to find out!

http://tinyurl.com/28tck

AN Indian mystic who vowed to spend a weekend buried
underground to show his desire for world peace has
died of suffocation. Police said 22-year-old Ananda
Swami had performed the ritual twice before, but
overzealous followers this time packed the soil more
tightly atop his two-metre, brick-lined pit.

Entering the trench on Saturday, Swami told supporters
he was performing penance to seek world peace and to
bring rain to the drought-hit southern Indian state of
Tamil Nadu.

But when the crowd returned Monday to the pit in
Kondayampatti village, 385km south of Madras, Swami
failed to rise.

A post-mortem found Swami likely died within four or
five hours of burial, and that his body had already
begun to decompose.

His face bore scars indicating he may have tried to push
through the wooden plank on top of him as he ran out of
air, the post-mortem found...

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From: urpansoph@aol.com (Ur Pansoph)

Sometimes magic works. . . .
sometimes it doesn't.

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From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>

Yes, I could survive for weeks packed not just in dirt but in LUCITE;
such is the power of my Will and my mastery over the shell-body.

But, like Gurdjieff, I choose never to use my super powers, for only
through the self-imposed suffering caused by my abstinence from them
can I grow even more in cosmic wisdom.

In related news of miracles, I fixed my computer's dreadful overheating
problem, using MAGIC.

The magic I used was the art of LOOKING, which I had merely fooled
myself into THINKING I had practiced right. I looked MUCH MORE CLOSELY
at the intake vents and, by magic, found that they were NOT at ALL
clear, as I had thought from many a cursory fool's inspections over the
years, but instead were FIRMLY plugged with cocoons made by the mutated
frop-spiders that live, normally in harmony, inside all my desktop
machines.

I vacuumed out all of the mutated frop-spider eggs, webs, homes...
wiped out a new species, basically. But my computer hasn't crashed once
since then and I managed to copy both ENTIRE one-hour reels of the
all-new animation to DV tape and even the longest ones have
successfully been made into SVCDs, which will be on monter soon.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
PRABOB

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From: "ghost" <ghost@ghost.net>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com> wrote:
(snip)
> Yes, I could survive for weeks packed not just in dirt but in LUCITE;
> such is the power of my Will and my mastery over the shell-body.

But how long could you survive nose-deep in a luscious lubricious mound of
GOOD THANG?

Hopefully forever...

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From: rex_mondo@hotmail.com (RevCarterLeBlanc)

Quite unlike stang and gurdjieff, i have cosen never to pursue cosmic
wisdom, that i may grow ever stronger in my fearsome powers.

I can kill a yak from a mile away, using only my mind...but i haven't
found any yaks in the bucolic hills of mount airy MD yet...but when i
do...ooooh those yaks better run (to distances greater than a mile if
they know whats good for them)

Carter LeBlanc

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From: polar bear <bear@pole.com>

Aye, but kin ye kill a Great Canadian Yaksman?

I'll wager not.

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From: nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
> Yes, I could survive for weeks packed not just in dirt but in LUCITE;
> such is the power of my Will and my mastery over the shell-body.
>
> But, like Gurdjieff, I choose never to use my super powers, for only
> through the self-imposed suffering caused by my abstinence from them
> can I grow even more in cosmic wisdom.

The only way to obtain super powers is to first develop the wisdom not
to even test to see if you have them.

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From: Artemia Salina <y2k@sheayright.com>

nenslo wrote:
> The only way to obtain super powers is to first develop the wisdom not
> to even test to see if you have them.

Rubbish! I almost daily perform many pointless feats of strength using
my Vast Powers of Mental Ignorance coupled with my highly developed
Derhetoricalization, Bemootlessizing, and Mental Snapshutting Techniques.

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From: nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com>

Like I say.

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From: Rev DJ Epoch <nunyabiz@noway.com>

I love derhetoricalization! It's especially effective to
confound politicos during the electoral swarming season here.

Last night I attended a meeting of the local airport watch
group.. seems our local "General aviation" airport is trying to
become 'Hartsfield North" so they can take international
commercial traffic... which would put the bloody 737's and
Airbus A110's right over my house along with about 40,000 other
"registered pinks... err... voters".

Anyway, the political gnats and gadflies were in full swarm
handing out leaflets and brochures. And among them was a
campaign flunky of Cynthia McKinney, who is running yet again.
So he's merrily rolling along with her usual "friend of the
community" banter when I point-blank asked (in front of a fairly
large number of neighbors) why if this was "such an important
issue to her" that she was not there PERSONALLY doing some
fact-finding. "Oh, she had a committment to attend another
function tonight." I asked "So you're saying she has MORE of an
interest in other groups than in issues that directly affect the
voters in her district?"

"Oh, heaven's NO! She is attempting to reach out to ALL members
of her community." I happen to know she had not attended ANY
other community events durng the campaign - apparently to
forestall being directly questioned about comments she and her
father made during her last failed campaign.

"So why has she refused to appear at ANY of the local community
meetings such as this?" I asked.

"She hasn't refused anything!"

"So you're saying she needs an invitation to come out to one of
these meetings? She can't just make the effort on her own to
attend and see what the voters have on their minds?"

"Well, she has alot of things she's working on before the
election. She can't be at ALL of them!"

A couple of people behind me at that point spoke up, and one
lady said "She hasn't been to ONE of them in over 6 months! And
she's a friend of OUR community?" It was fun watching him start
to bluster and try to come up with an adequate reason why she
couldn't be there when all the other candidates were there
asking pointed questions about the airport and how the community
would be impacted. HE could tell when he was on the losing end
of campaignspeak at that point and just went about holding out
flyers hoping someone would take them.

I do LOVE to see is people get off their ass, get away from the
damn boob tube and go out and ASK QUESTIONS about things in
their neighborhood. Especially to the damned politicos who CAN'T
STAND giving direct answers to THINKING voters (few and far-
between they may be). It's fun to watch them squirm.

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Original file name: Rev Stang could do it.txt - converted on Saturday, 25 September 2004, 02:05