Over Three Hundred Proofs of "Bob"s Existence

From: "Blackout" <blackout@sususaywhatsubgenius.com>
Date: Fri, Aug 1, 2003 12:13 PM

1.. TRANSCENDENTAL ARGUMENT
(1) "Bob" exists.
(2) If "Bob" exists, then if reason exists then "Bob" exists.
(3) Reason exists.
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

2.. COSMOLOGICAL ARGUMENT
(1) If I say something must have a cause, it has a cause.
(2) I say the universe must have a cause.
(3) Therefore, the universe has a cause.
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

3.. ONTOLOGICAL ARGUMENT (I)
(1) I define "Bob" to be X.
(2) Since I can conceive of X, X must exist.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

4.. ONTOLOGICAL ARGUMENT (II)
(1) I can conceive of a perfect "Bob".
(2) One of the qualities of perfection is existence.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

5.. MODAL ONTOLOGICAL ARGUMENT
(1) "Bob" exists.
(2) "Bob", existing, is either necessary or unnecessary.
(3) "Bob" is not unnecessary, therefore "Bob" must be necessary.
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

6.. TELEOLOGICAL ARGUMENT
(1) Check out the world/universe/giraffe. Isn't it complex?
(2) Only "Bob" could have made them so complex.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

7.. ARGUMENT FROM BEAUTY (aka TELEOLOGICAL ARGUMENT II)
(1) Isn't that baby/sunset/flower/tree beautiful?
(2) Only "Bob" could have made them so beautiful.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

8.. ARGUMENT FROM MIRACLES
(1) My aunt had cancer.
(2) The doctors gave her all these horrible treatments.
(3) My aunt prayed to "Bob" and now she doesn't have cancer.
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

9.. MORAL ARGUMENT (I)
(1) Person X, a well-known atheist, was morally inferior to the rest of
us.
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.
10.. MORAL ARGUMENT (II)
(1) In my younger days I was a cursing, drinking, smoking, gambling,
child-molesting, thieving, murdering, bed-wetting bastard.
(2) That all changed once I became religious.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

11.. ARGUMENT FROM CREATION
(1) If evolution is false, then creationism is true, and therefore "Bob"
exists.
(2) Evolution can't be true, since I lack the mental capacity to
understand it; moreover, to accept its truth would cause me to be
uncomfortable
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

12.. ARGUMENT FROM FEAR
(1) If there is no "Bob" then we're all going to die.
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

13.. ARGUMENT FROM THE BIBLE
(1) [arbitrary passage from OT]
(2) [arbitrary passage from NT]
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

14.. ARGUMENT FROM INTELLIGENCE
(1) Look, there's really no point in me trying to explain the whole thing
to you stupid atheists -- it's too complicated for you to understand. "Bob"
exists whether you like it or not.
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

15.. ARGUMENT FROM UNINTELLIGENCE
(1) Okay, I don't pretend to be as intelligent as you guys -- you're
obviously very well read. But I read the Bible, and nothing you say can
convince me that "Bob" does not exist. I feel him in my heart, and you can
feel him too, if you'll just ask him into your life. "For "Bob" so loved the
world that he sent his only begotten son into the world, that whosoever
believes in him shall not perish from the earth" John 3:16.
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

16.. ARGUMENT FROM BELIEF
(1) If "Bob" exists, then I should believe in Him.
(2) I believe in "Bob".
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

17.. ARGUMENT FROM INTIMIDATION
(1) See this bonfire?
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

18.. PARENTAL ARGUMENT
(1) My mommy and daddy told me that "Bob" exists.
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

19.. ARGUMENT FROM NUMBERS
(1) Millions and millions of people believe in "Bob".
(2) They can't all be wrong, can they?(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

20.. ARGUMENT FROM ABSURDITY
(1) Maranathra!
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

21.. ARGUMENT FROM ECONOMY
(1) "Bob" exists, you bastards!
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

22.. BOATWRIGHT'S ARGUMENT
(1) Ha ha ha.
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

23.. DORE'S ARGUMENT
(1) I forgot to take my meds.
(2) Therefore, I AM CHRIST!!
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

24.. ARGUMENT FROM GUITAR MASTERY
(1) Eric Clapton is "Bob".
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

25.. ARGUMENT FROM INTERNET AUTHORITY
(1) There is a website that successfully argues for the existence of "Bob".
(2) Here is the URL.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

26.. ARGUMENT FROM INCOMPREHENSIBILITY
(1) Flabble glurk zoom boink blubba snurgleschnortz ping!
(2) No one has ever refuted (1).
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

27.. ARGUMENT FROM AMERICAN EVANGELISM
(1) Telling people that "Bob" exists makes me filthy rich.
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

28.. MITCHELL'S ARGUMENT
(1) The Christian "Bob" exists.
(2) Therefore, all worldviews which don't assume the Christian "Bob"'s
existence are false and incomprehensible.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

29.. ARGUMENT FROM BLINDNESS (I)
(1) Atheists are spiritually blind.
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

30.. ARGUMENT FROM BLINDNESS (II)
(1) "Bob" is love.
(2) Love is blind.
(3) Ray Charles is blind.
(4) Therefore, Ray Charles is "Bob".
(5) Therefore, "Bob" exists.
31.. ARGUMENT FROM FALLIBILITY
(1) Human reasoning is inherently flawed.
(2) Therefore, there is no reasonable way to challenge a proposition.
(3) I propose that "Bob" exists.
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

32.. ARGUMENT FROM SMUGNESS
(1) "Bob" exists.
(2) I don't give a crap whether you believe it or not; I have better
things to do than to try to convince you morons.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

33.. ARGUMENT FROM META-SMUGNESS
(1) Fuck you.
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

34.. ARGUMENT FROM MANIFESTATIONS
(1) If you turn your head sideways and squint a little, you can see an
image of a bearded face in that tortilla.
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

35.. SLATHER'S ARGUMENT
(1) My toaster is "Bob".
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

36.. ARGUMENT FROM INCOMPLETE DEVASTATION
(1) A plane crashed killing 143 passengers and crew.
(2) But one child survived with only third-degree burns.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

37.. ARGUMENT FROM POSSIBLE WORLDS
(1) If things had been different, then things would be different.
(2) That would be bad.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

38.. ARGUMENT FROM SHEER WILL
(1) I DO believe in "Bob"! I DO believe in "Bob"! I do I do I do I DO
believe
in "Bob"!
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

39.. ARGUMENT FROM NONBELIEF
(1) The majority of the world's population are nonbelievers in
Christianity.
(2) This is just what Satan intended.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

40.. ARGUMENT FROM POST-DEATH EXPERIENCE
(1) Person X died an atheist.
(2) He now realizes his mistake.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

41.. ARGUMENT FROM EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL
(1) "Bob" loves you.
(2) How could you be so heartless to not believe in him?(3) Therefore, "Bob"
exists.

42.. ARGUMENT FROM INCOHERENT BABBLE
(1) See that person spazzing on the church floor babbling incoherently?
(2) That's how infinite wisdom reveals itself.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

43.. OPRAH'S ARGUMENT (I)
(1) The human spirit exists.
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

44.. OPRAH'S ARGUMENT (II)
(1) Check out this video segment.
(2) Now how can anyone watch that and NOT believe in "Bob"?
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

45.. CALVINISTIC ARGUMENT
(1) If "Bob" exists, then he will let me watch you be tortured forever.
(2) I rather like that idea.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

46.. ARGUMENT FROM CROCKERY
(1) Pots don't go around giving orders to the potter.
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

47.. ARGUMENT FROM MASS PRODUCTION
(1) Barbie dolls were created.
(2) If Barbie dolls were created, then so were trees.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

48.. ARGUMENT FROM PAROCHIALISM
(1) "Bob" is everywhere.
(2) We haven't been everywhere to prove he's not there.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

49.. ARGUMENT FROM UPPERCASE ASSERTION
(1) "Bob" EXISTS! GET USED TO IT!
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

50.. ARGUMENT FROM INFINITE REGRESS
(1) Ask atheists what caused the Big Bang.
(2) Regardless of their answer, ask how they know this.
(3) Continue process until the atheist admits he doesn't know the answer
to one of your questions.
(4) You win!
(5) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

51.. ARGUMENT FROM INCREDULITY
(1) How could "Bob" NOT exist, you bozo?
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

52.. ARGUMENT FROM HISTORY
(1) The Bible is true.
(2) Therefore, the Bible is historical fact.(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

53.. ARGUMENT FROM RESURRECTION
(1) Proof of "Bob"'s existence will be available when you rise bodily from
your grave.
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

54.. ARGUMENT FROM BIOGENESIS
(1) Where did Adam come from, dummy?
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

55.. ARGUMENT FROM STEADFAST FAITH
(1) A lot of really cool people believed in "Bob" their entire lives.
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

56.. ARGUMENT FROM LONELINESS
(1) Christians say that "Bob" is their best friend.
(2) I'm lonely, and I want a best friend.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

57.. ARGUMENT FROM ARGUMENTATION
(1) "Bob" exists.
(2) [atheist's counterargument]
(3) Yes he does.
(4) [atheist's counterargument]
(5) Yes he does!
(6) [atheist's counterargument]
(7) YES HE DOES!!!
(8) [atheist gives up and goes home]
(9) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

58.. ARGUMENT FROM CREATIVE INTERPRETATION
(1) "Bob" is
(a) The feeling you have when you look at a newborn baby.
(b) The love of a mother for her child.
(c) That little still voice in your heart.
(d) Humankind's potential to overcome their difficulties.
(e) How I feel when I look at a sunset.
(f) The taste of ice cream on a hot day.
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

59.. ARGUMENT FROM INSECURITY
(1) We have gone to absolutely berserk lengths to establish that atheists
are laughable morons.
(1.5) Actually, we did so in the hopes of curing our own insecurities
about theism -- but there's no chance in hell we'll ever admit that.
(2) Therefore, atheists are laughable morons.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

60.. ARGUMENT FROM SUPERIORITY
(1) If "Bob" does not exist, then I am an inferior being, since I am not
"special" in a cosmic sense.
(2) But I am superior. Because I am a Christian.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.
61.. ARGUMENT FROM PERFECTION
(1) If there are absolute moral standards, then "Bob" exists.
(2) Atheists say that there are no absolute moral standards.
(3) But that's because they don't want to admit to being sinners.
(4) Therefore, there are absolute moral standards.
(5) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

62.. ARGUMENT FROM HUMAN NECESSITY
(1) Atheists say that they don't need "Bob".
(2) Which just goes to show that they need "Bob".
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

63.. ARGUMENT FROM HIDDEN LOGIC (I)
(1) Intellectually, I know that the existence of "Bob" is impossible, or
vastly improbable.
(2) But I must put on the appearance of being cool and intellectual in
front of my Christian apologist peers.
(3) Therefore, I must pretend that (1) is false.
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

64.. ARGUMENT FROM INDULGENCE
(1) Atheists like to think that they can control their emotional desires.
(2) But they're atheists, so they can't.
(3) Therefore, atheists feel the need to indulge in whatever they feel
like without worrying about committing sin.
(4) This just goes to show how they need "Bob" in their lives.
(5) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

65.. ARGUMENT FROM HATE
(1) Some atheists hate Christians and Christianity.
(2) That's why they don't believe in "Bob".
(3) Pathetic, aren't they?
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

66.. ARGUMENT FROM QUENTIN SMITH
(1) Quentin Smith says that "Bob" does not exist.
(2) But "Bob" does exist.
(3) Therefore, Quentin Smith cannot be accepted as an expert on the
matter, because he is wrong.
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

67.. ARGUMENT FROM EVIL SPIRITS
(1) I've just had contact with evil spirits.
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

68.. ARGUMENT FROM HIDDEN LOGIC (II)
(1) Atheists say that "Bob" doesn't exist.
(2) But they only say that because they want to look cool and intellectual
in front of their peers.
(3) They don't fool me!
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

69.. ARGUMENT FROM HOVIND'S CHALLENGE(1) Kent Hovind offers $250,000 (which
may or may not exist) to anyone who
can demonstrate evolution (defined as a natural, acausal origin of the
universe) to a reasonable doubt (meaning with 100% certainty, allowing for
no other possibilities whatsoever) in front of a neutral committee
(handpicked by Hovind himself) and according to certain criteria (carefully
worded so as to rule out any possibility whatsoever of the challenge ever
being met).
(2) No atheist has ever met this challenge.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

70.. ARGUMENT FROM INSANITY
(1) No sane person could have thought up Christianity
(2) Therefore, it must be true
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists

71.. ARGUMENT FROM EXHAUSTION (abridged)
(1) Do you agree with the utterly trivial proposition X?
(2) Atheist: of course.
(3) How about the slightly modified proposition X'?
(4) Atheist: Um, no, not really.
(5) Good. Since we agree, how about Y? Is that true?
(6) Atheist: No! And I didn't agree with X'!
(7) With the truths of these clearly established, surely you agree that Z
is true as well?
(8) Atheist: No. So far I have only agreed with X! Where is this going,
anyway?
(9) I'm glad we all agree.....
....
(37) So now we have used propositions X, X', Y, Y', Z, Z', P, P', Q and Q'
to arrive at the obviously valid point R. Agreed?
(38) Atheist: Like I said, so far I've only agreed with X. Where is this
going?
....
(81) So we now conclude from this that propositions L'', L''' and J'' are
true. Agreed?
(82) I HAVEN'T AGREED WITH ANYTHING YOU'VE SAID SINCE X! WHERE IS THIS
GOING!?
....
(177) ...and it follows that proposition HRV, SHQ'' and BTU' are all
obviously valid. Agreed?
(178) [Atheist either faints from overwork or leaves in disgust]
(179) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

72.. MR. GOODSALT'S ARGUMENT (ARGUMENT FROM GENERAL INQUIRY)
(1) Question for atheist population: [apparently random question]
(2) Your answer is wrong.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

73.. PEACOCK ARGUMENT FROM ORIGINALITY
(1) I have written the following to demonstrate the existence of "Bob".
(2) [insert entire text of a William Lane Craig article]
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

74.. PEACOCK ARGUMENT FROM LIMITED VOCABULARY(1) You use lots of big words.
(2) Therefore, I cannot possibly be expected to understand your refutation
of my position.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

75.. PEACOCK ARGUMENT FROM SELECTIVE MEMORY
(1) [Christian asks "stumper" question]
(2) [Atheist answers question]
(3) [A lapse of time]
(4) [Christian repeats question]
(5) [Atheist repeats answer]
(6) [A lapse of time]
(7) [Christian repeats question]
(8) [Atheist repeats answer]
(9) [A lapse of time]
(10) Atheist, you never answered my question.
(11) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

76.. ARGUMENT FROM DIVINE ECONOMICS
(1) Protestant Christian nations are rich.
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

77.. ARGUMENT FROM PERSONAL SANITY
(1) I've had religious experiences that can't be explained unless I'm
insane or "Bob" exists.
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

78.. ARGUMENT FROM INSTITUTIONAL LONGETIVITY
(1) The Roman Catholic Church has been around for a long time.
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

79.. ARGUMENT FROM INEVITABILITY
(1) I have proof that "Bob" exists.
(2) I won't bother to tell you what it is because, being atheists, you
would be hostile to the conclusion anyway.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

80.. ARGUMENT FROM "THE MATRIX"
(1) We cannot prove that we don't live in a Matrix-like world.
(2) Therefore we cannot know reality.
(3) If reality is contingent, then everything is possible.
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

81.. ARGUMENT FROM SUBJECTIVITY
(1) Everything is subjective.
(2) No subjective proof can be superior to any other subjective proof.
(3) Based upon my subjective opinion, your opinion, that if everything is
subjective then, perforce, "Bob" is subjective, is false.
(4) Therefore, "Bob" (objectively) exists.

82.. ARGUMENT FROM POSTMODERNISM
(1) I'm going to prove to you that "Bob" exists.
(2) [insert any of the other arguments on this page in here]
(3) [atheist refutes argument](4) I cannot prove there is a "Bob" anymore
than anyone of us can prove we
really exist in a tangible world.
(5) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

83.. Meta-Proof
(1) This is a proof of "Bob"'s existence.
(2) If the reader finishes reading this proof, the existence of "Bob" will
be proven to him/her.
(3) If the existence of "Bob" is proven, then "Bob" exists.
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

84.. Proof By Anecdote
(1) "Bob" can be seen by those who believe in Him.
(2) If the "Bob" is seen, then He must exist.
(3) I have seen "Bob".
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

85.. ARGUMENT FROM BIBLICAL HISTORY
(1) Many modern historians think that there probably was somebody named
"Bob", maybe.
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

86.. BENDER''S ARGUMENT(II)
(1) One day, demons were tap-dancing on my roof. I prayed and they went
away.
(2) Therefore, demons are really good dancers.
(3) Also, "Bob" exists.

87.. RANDMAN''S ARGUMENT
(1) This entry from the 1975 World Book Encyclopedia on evolution contains
some errors that I claim to have already substantiated.
(2) Mr. Ph.D.-in-Evolutionary-Biology, this proves that evolution is an
unsound scientific concept.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

88.. ARGUMENT FROM MULTIPLICITY (aka Metacrock's Argument)
(1) I have a large number of arguments for "Bob".
(2) One of them is probably true.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

89.. ARGUMENT FROM FORTUITOUS COINCIDENCE
(1) What are the odds of that happening?
(2) Pretty long, I''ll bet.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

90.. BENDER''S ARGUMENT III (ARGUMENT FROM DAVID BLAINE)
(1) If David Blaine does real magic, then "Bob" exists.
(2) It looked real on his TV special.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

91.. ARGUMENT FROM MYSTERIOUS USE OF PREPOSITIONS
(1) It is impossible to disprove "Bob" with your puny human intellect unless
you are above "Bob".
(2) Are you higher than "Bob"?(3) I''ll take that puzzled look on your face
as a no.
(4) Therefore, "Bob" (being the highest thing ever) exists.

92.. ARGUMENT FROM TEEN CHRISTIAN MOVEMENT
(1) "Bob" is so totally awesome, dude, and if you would pretend that Creed
and POD were good bands, you would realize that.
(2) Also, our Youth Group leader Skip once, like, cured a broken leg using
only the power of the almighty Lord.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

93.. ARGUMENT FROM SPEAKING IN TOUNGES
(1) My friend here, once started spontaneously speaking some jibberish
that sounded to me kind of like Russian.
(2) But neither he nor I know anything about Russian.
(3) The only explanation is "Bob".
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

94.. ARGUMENT FROM EUROPEAN HISTORY
(1) Many prominent thinkers in pre-modern Europe believed in "Bob".
(2) Let''s just forget about the nineteenth and twentieth centuries.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

95.. ARGUMENT FROM DESIGN
(1) If there is a designer, then "Bob" must exist.
(2) If I find a watch in a forest, there must be a designer.
(3) *throws watch into forest*
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

96.. ARGUMENT FROM OFFENSE
(1) "Bob" exists.
(atheist makes counterarguments)
(2) You know what? I am offended.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

97.. ARGUMENT FROM PRAYER
(1) "Bob" exists.
(atheist makes counterarguments)
(2) You have my prayers.

98.. ARGUMENT FROM AGNOSTICISM
(1) I don't know and you don't know either.
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists

99.. ARGUMENT FROM LOVE
(1) Have you ever fallen in love?
(of course!!)
(2) So what is the cause of love? Isn't it "Bob"? Am I right or not?
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

100.. ARGUMENT FROM IDENTITY (PC argument)
(1) Believing in "Bob" is a central part of my identity.
(2) You don't mean to deny my identity do you?
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.
101.. ARGUMENT FROM FORMATTING
(1) Behold, foolish atheists, I present you with an incontrovertible proof
of the existence of "Bob".
(2) [Christian posts 10,000 word document without a single paragraph
break]
(3) [Atheists'' eyes implode]
(4) I see that nobody can refute (2).
(5) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

102.. ARGUMENT FROM NON-CONFRONTATION
(1) I am not here to argue with you atheists.
(2) But come on, "Bob" obviously exists.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

103.. ARGUMENT FROM EXODUS
(1) If the Exodus story has any basis in historical fact, then "Bob" exists.
(2) Some guy found some chariot wheels at the bottom of the Red Sea.
(3) There is absolutely no other way that chariots could get to the bottom
of the Red Sea.
(4) This means the Exodus story is true.
(5) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

104.. ARGUMENT FROM MARTYRDOM
(1) The apostles would not have died for something they knew wasn't true.
(2) Atheist gives examples of martyrs outside Christendom.
(3) Obviously those examples were fooled by Satan.
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

105.. ARGUMENT FROM TINKERBELL
(1) I really want "Bob" to be real.
(2) If you wish for something really hard, it'll come true.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

106.. ARGUMENT FROM LACK OF DISPROOF
(1) You can't prove "Bob" doesn't exist!
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

107.. ARGUMENT FROM ANECDOTAL EXPERIENCE (I)
(1) I once experienced something I can't explain.
(2) Atheists offer several possible, natural explanations.
(3) You're just guessing! I was there.
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

108.. ARGUMENT FROM ANECDOTAL EXPERIENCE (II)
(1) I have experienced feelings of "Bob"'s presence in my mind.
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

109.. ARGUMENT FROM NEUROSCIENCE
(1) Scientists say a portion of our brain may be responsible for mystical
experiences.
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

110.. ARGUMENT FROM LACK OF EYEWITNESS (I)
(1) You weren't there to witness abiogenisis/big bang/etc.(2) Therefore,
"Bob" exists.

111.. ARGUMENT FROM EYEWITNESS (sometimes follows or combined with Lack of
Eyewitness I)
(1) Someone wrote the creation story in the bible.
(2) That someone must have been an eyewitness to the described events.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

112.. ARGUMENT FROM LACK OF EYEWITNESS (II)
(1) No one's ever seen one species turn into another.
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

113.. ARGUMENT FROM HALF A WING
(1) Half of a wing is useless!
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

114.. ARGUMENT FROM PREFERRED ANCESTRY
(1) I don't want to be related to monkeys.
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

115.. ARGUMENT FROM FOOLISHNESS
(1) The bible says atheists are fools.
(2) I don't want to be a fool.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

116.. ARGUMENT FROM PIG'S TEETH
(1) Some scientists once thought a tooth was from an "ape-man."
(2) Later scientists discovered it was a pig's tooth.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

117.. ARGUMENT FROM PERSECUTION
(1) Someone made fun of my faith.
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

118.. ARGUMENT FROM "Bob" SAID STUFF
(1) "Bob" said some really cool stuff.
(2) No one else had said that stuff.
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

119.. ARGUMENT FROM DIFFERENCES
(1) The Christian "Bob" is different than the "Bob"s of other religions.
(2) Therefore, the Christian "Bob" exists.

120.. THE ARGUMENT FROM CHRISTIAN MORALITY (although it could probably be
adapted to just about any religion)
(1) Somewhere, someone who called himself or herself a Christian did
something nice.
(2) This person was probably not lying.
(3) Therefore, this person was a Christian.
(4) Therefore, Christians do nice things.
(5) Therefore, Christians are moral.
(6) Christians believe in the Bible.
(7) Therefore, the Bible is moral.
(8) The Bible is "Bob"'s word. It says so.(9) Therefore, "Bob" is moral.
(10) (We are just ignoring all the not-nice things that Christians may or
may not have done in the past, it's hard to trust history anyway, there are
enemies of "Bob" working everywhere).
(11) A moral "Bob" would be really nice.
(12) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

121.. THE ARGUMENT FROM CRAZINESS, aka PERCHANCE'S SISTER'S ARGUMENT
(1) I would go crazy if I didn't believe in "Bob".
(2) I am not crazy.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists

122.. ARGUMENT FROM CHOCOLATE (aka Mrs. Pope's proof)
(1) Chocolate is "Bob"'s gift to humanity.
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.
Now class, would anyone like to attempt an Argument From Beer?

123.. ARGUMENT FROM PERSECUTION(II)
(1) "Bob" said that people would make fun of Christians.
(2) I am an idiot.
(3) People often point that out.
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

124.. ARGUMENT FROM WWJD
(1) I have the ""What Would "Bob" Do?"" T-shirt, bracelet, baseball hat, and
shoelaces.
(2) I wear them in public.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

125.. ARGUMENT FROM PERSECUTION(III)
(1) You atheists are mean!
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

126.. ARGUMENT FROM INTEREST
(1) If "Bob" really doesn''t exist than atheists wouldn''t spend so much
time
talking about him.
(2) [Atheist refutes (1)]
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

127.. REID''S ARGUMENT
(1) You assume that your senses are reliable even though you can''t prove
it.
(2) That means I get to assume anything I want.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

128.. ARGUMENT FROM INTELLECTUAL SUPERIORITY
(1) [Christian posts argument]
(2) [Atheist refutes argument]
(3) Atheist, you obviously didn''t understand my argument.
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

129.. ARGUMENT FROM CATCH-PHRASE
(1) There are no atheists in foxholes.
(2) [Atheist points out atheists in foxholes](3) They don''t count.
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

130.. TERCEL''S ARGUMENT (ARGUMENT FROM PROBABILITY)
(1) We should believe what probably is true.
(2) I have arbitrarily assigned the proposition """Bob" exists"" a
probability
of 0.75.
(3) That probability came from my ass, which I know assigns extremely
accurate probabilities to propositions concerning the existence of "Bob".
(4) So "Bob" probably exists.
(5) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

131.. ARGUMENT FROM FREE GIFT (aka Kissing Hank's ass)
(1) If some guy came up to you on the street and offered you a billion
dollars for nothing in return, would you take the money or deny his
existence?
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

132.. ARGUMENT FROM CHARITY
(1) Atheists don''t build hospitals.
(2) [Atheist points out Bill Gates and Ted Turner, who donate millions of
dollars to charity]
(3) Yes, but do they build hospitals?
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

133.. ARGUMENT FROM SERIOUS ASSERTION
(1) "Bob" exists.
(2) No, seriously.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

134.. ARGUMENT FROM POSITIVE OUTCOME
(1) Even if "Bob" doesn''t exist, it would be better if people believed He
did.
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

135.. ARGUMENT FROM LACK OF EVIDENCE
(1) I believe that if "Bob" exists, there will be no evidence for his
existence
(2) There is no evidence for the existence of "Bob".
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

136.. ARGUMENT FROM LACK OF EVIDENCE II (MODIFIED SIMPSON''S ARGUMENT)
(1) "Bob", if you exist, please give me absolutely no sign.
(2)
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

137.. ARGUMENT FROM IDIOCY
(1) I am an idiot.
(2) Even an idiot can see that "Bob" exists.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

138.. ARGUMENT FROM TERRORISM (I)
(1) Terrorists destroyed the WTC, killing thousands.
(2) One piece of the rubble sort of looks like a cross.(3) Therefore, "Bob"
exists.

139.. ARGUMENT FROM TERRORISM (II)
(1) A plane was hijacked by terrorists.
(2) The passengers prayed and attacked the terrorists.
(3) The plane crashed into a field, killing all aboard.
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

140.. ARGUMENT FROM TERRORISM III, aka PERCHANCE'S SISTER'S ARGUMENT II
(1) September 11th was really, really bad.
(2) We have bad things happen to us when we're doing something bad.
(3) Therefore, September 11th was a punishment for something we did.
(4) Maybe it was being arrogant?
(5) Yeah, that's it!
(6) "Bob" let September 11th happen to teach America humility.
(7) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

141.. ARGUMENT FROM MASS MURDER
(1) Stalin was an atheist.
(2) He murdered millions of people.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

142.. ARGUMENT FROM TORNADOS
(1) A large tornado hit Kansas City.
(2) The tornado missed a church but destroyed several hundred homes.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

143.. ARGUMENT FROM SPAGHETTI
(1) A few people saw something weird in a bowl of spaghetti.
(2) Some Catholics believe that it is the Virgin Mary.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

144.. ARGUMENT FROM MONEY
(1) All U.S. currency contains the motto "In "Bob" We Trust."
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

145.. ARGUMENT FROM THE PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE
(1) The Pledge clearly states that America is "one nation, under "Bob" * *
*."
(2) The existence of "Bob" is thus a necessary condition for the existence
of America.
(3) America exists.
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

146.. ARGUMENT FROM THE FOUNDING FATHERS
(1) Some of America's Founding Fathers wrote favorably about the Bible.
(2) The Founding Fathers were really, really smart.
(3) Accordingly, the Bible must be true.
(4) The Bible says that "Bob" exists.
(5) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

147.. ARGUMENT FROM THE FOUNDING FATHERS II
(1) The Declaration of Independence includes the words ""Bob"" and
"Creator".(2) Only a Christian would include the words ""Bob"" and
"Creator"!
(3) Therefore this is a Christian Nation.
(4) A Christian Nation couldn't last over 200 years without "Bob"'s help.
(5) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

148.. ARGUMENT FROM THE FALL OF PAGAN ROME
(1) When "Bob" was crucified, the Roman Empire was pagan, ruled by a pagan
Emperor.
(2) A couple of hundred years later, lots of Romans were Christians, and
the Emperor was a Christian too!
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

149.. ARGUMENT FROM LOTS OF BOOKS
(1) The bible has lots of books written by lots of authors over a long
period of time.
(2) Through centuries of vigorous apologetics we've been able to forge a
more or less coherent plot for the whole bible.
(3) It is beyond human ability for so many authors over so long a time to
write so many books from which we could hammer such a plot.
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

150.. ARGUMENT FROM UNLIKE OTHER RELIGIONS (I) (argument from sacrifice)
(1) The bible said "Bob" died for our sins.
(2) No other religious text describes a "Bob" that died for our sins!
(3) Therefore, the Christian "Bob" exists.

151.. ARGUMENT FROM UNLIKE OTHER RELIGIONS (II) (argument from
resurrection)
(1) The bible said "Bob" rose from the dead.
(2) No other religious text describes a "Bob" that rose from the dead!
(3) Therefore, the Christian "Bob" exists.

152.. ARGUMENT FROM BRUTE FORCE
(1) [Christian tears Darwin Fish off car, breaks it in thirds, sticks it
to driver's side window.]
(2) Therefore, the theory of evolution is wrong.
(3) Therefore, creationism is right.
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

153.. ARGUMENT FROM TROY
(1) There is little archeological evidence for the events in Exodus.
(2) But look at Troy! It is discovered when people thought the Iliad was
only a story! So who knows if there would be a time evidence for Exodus was
discovered?
(3) Therefore the Exodus actually happened.
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

154.. ARGUMENT FROM BIBLICAL PROPHECY
(1) The book of Daniel made some prophecies.
(2) The prophecy was later fulfilled by other records in the Book of
Daniel.
(3) The prophecy came true!
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.
155.. ARGUMENT FROM SHAME
(1) The Bible showed a group of people performing embarassing actions.
(2) It must be true if the book describes negative events.
(3) The Bible is describing historical events.
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

156.. ARGUMENT FROM EQUAL VALUE (PC argument II)
(1) Evolution and the scientific worldview is a worldview. Similarly, the
biblical worldview is a worldview.
(2) You are not discriminating against our worldview are you?
(3) The Biblical worldview is as good as the scientific worldview.
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

157.. ARGUMENT FROM MODERATION (often employed by liberals)
(1) The Creationist side occupies an extreme side of the spectrum.
(2) Similarly, the atheist side occupies another extreme side of the
spectrum.
(3) The liberals are in between.
(4) Therefore, the liberal position on "Bob" is the most correct.
(5) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

158.. ARGUMENT FROM CHICK
(1) I have all these cool "Bob" comics.
(2) I also think Eternal is smart with all those great arguments.
(3) Those comics sure convinced me!
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

159.. ARGUMENT FROM EVIDENTIAL ASSERTION (a.k.a. "Henry Morris Argument")
(1) "Bob" exists.
(2) Therefore all physical evidence (fossil record etc) must show this.
(3) Therefore it does.
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

160.. ARGUMENT FROM LACK OF MEANNESS
(1) If "Bob" didn't exist, it would be mean of him to make me believe he
did!
(2) "Bob" isn't mean.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

161.. ARGUMENT FROM WE ALL GOT FAITH
(1) We all believe in something.
(2) Therefore we all have faith.
(3) My faith in "Bob" is no different from your faith that the sun will rise
tomorrow morning.
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

162.. ARGUMENT FROM COOLNESS
(1) That's really cool.
(2) "Bob" must have done that.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

163.. ARGUMENT FROM WTC II
(1) Terrorists destroyed the WTC, killing thousands.
(2) An intact bible was found in the ruins.(3) No, wait, it turns out it was
a dictionary.
(4) Oh, well, "Bob" exists anyway.

164.. ARGUMENT FROM COLLEGE FUNDING (usable by parents only)
(1) You believe in "Bob".
(2) If I ever find out that you don't believe in "Bob", you won't get any
money for college!
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

165.. ARGUMENT FROM SNOWFLAKES
(1) Out of 3,300 pictures of snow-crystals catalogued no two are exactly
alike. Each has 6 points crossing at a 60 degree angle. If one is like a
fern it has 6 out-pointing leaves; if like a windmill, It has 6 sails; if
like a starfish, 6 ribs; or if like a fir tree, 6 stems with plumes set in
perfect symmetry. This makes 3 distinct triangles to each flake. The Hebrew
word for snow equals 333 (Hebrew letters stand for numbers).
(2) Could it not be that "Bob" has set His symbol of the Triune "Bob" in
each
flake? The average snow storm produces about 1000 billion crystals.
(3) Only an intelligent Being could design so many forms.
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

166.. ARGUMENT FROM CUSTODY (used by the parents of a friend of mine)
(1) We have legal custody of your son.
(2) If you don't act as though the Christian "Bob" existed, then we won't
let you see him.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

167.. ARGUMENT FROM FIDEISM (aka Martin Gardner's argument)
(1) Atheists are absolutely right. There is no logical reason to believe
"Bob" exists.
(2) But he makes me feel good anyway.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

168.. Argument from Pepper's Philosophy Class (AKA The Energy Argument)
(1) Things that exist have energy.
(2) Energy is alive.
(3) All living things are made from energy.
(4) Therefore, "Bob" Exists.

169.. ARGUMENT FROM A BAD TRIP
(1) I went to a party and took LSD.
(2) I saw demons attacking me.
(3) Then "Bob" came and drove the demons away.
(4) So I joined the Assemblies of "Bob".
(5) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

170.. ARGUMENT FROM STUPIDITY
(1) I am stupid.
(2) "Bob" made man in his own image.
(3) There are all horrible disasters going around the world.
(4) "Bob" is omnipotent in power.
(5) "Bob" is too stupid to do anything about these things.
(6) Therefore, "Bob" exists.
171.. ARGUMENT FROM STAR TREK
(1) You will be assimilated.
(2) All your salvations belong to us.
(3) Resistance is futile.
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

172.. ARGUMENT FROM PRAYER
(1) When I pray, either it comes true or "Bob" has a better plan.
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

173.. ARGUMENT FROM DEMOCRACY
(1) "Bob" would never allow a non-Christian to become president.
(2) There has never been a non-Christian president.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

174.. ARGUMENT FROM PAIN AVOIDANCE
(1) If I don't believe "Bob" exists, I'll go to Hell.
(2) Please don't hurt me.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

175.. ARGUMENT FROM MOUNTAINS
(1) People used to think "Bob"s lived on Mt. Olympus.
(2) We've climbed Mt. Olympus and there were no "Bob"s there.
(3) Therefore, pagan "Bob"s are false.
(4) Therefore, the Christian "Bob" exists.

176.. ARGUMENT FROM FUZZY ANIMALS (aka TELEOLOGICAL ARGUMENT III)
(1) Bunnies are cute.
(2) Cuteness is not an evolutionary advantage.
(3) Therefore, cuteness must have been designed.
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

177.. ARGUMENT FROM POLITICS
(1) The vast majority of the people believe in "Bob".
(2) I'll get elected if I pretend to believe in "Bob".
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

178.. ARGUMENT FROM PRESIDENTIAL IGNORANCE
(1) If I ask "Bob" to blesserize Texas, nobody'll mess with it.
(2) Nobody messes with Texas.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

179.. ARGUMENT FROM COINCIDENCE
(1) We were driving home with our youth pastor when it started to rain
really hard outside.
(2) We pulled over to the side of the road, joined hands and asked gawd to
deliver us home safely.
(3) We arrived home safely.
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

180.. ARGUMENT FROM COMPUTERS
(1) I tried to delete a copy of the TEN COMMANDMENTS from my computer. It
would not have mattered as I had another copy on file.
(2) Still the computer malfunctioned.(3) The computer had more sense than
atheists who made it.
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

181.. ARGUMENT FROM INVISIBILITY
(1) "Bob" is invisible.
(2) I can't see "Bob".
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

182.. ARGUMENT FROM RAIN (aka PERCHANCE'S SISTER'S ARGUMENT III)
(1) I wanted it to be a sunny day.
(2) I prayed it wouldn't rain.
(3) We had two thunderstorms.
(4) Obviously, "Bob" didn't want to answer my prayer.
(5) Of course not! What a selfish thing to pray for! How dare I try to
compel "Bob" to my selfish desires!
(6) The rain was "Bob"'s punishment for my selfish desires.
(7) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

183.. METACROCK'S ARGUMENT FOR "Bob" #1
(1) I Have a philosophy degree.
(2) Your knowledge in philosophy is paltry in comparison to mine.
(3) Therefore you are unable to comprehend my intense philosophical proofs
proving "Bob"'s existence.
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

184.. METACROCK'S ARGUMENT FOR "Bob" #2
(1) I created the term "arbitrary necessity".
(2) It is a golden principle and applies to whatever I say it does.
(3) I say an eternal universe is an arbitrary necessity.
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

185.. ARGUMENT FROM BEER
(1) "Beer is proof that "Bob" loves us and wants us to be happy." - Ben
Franklin
(2) Beer exists.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

186.. ARGUMENT FROM BEER II
(1) Christian: Whatever you believe in is your "Bob".
(2) Atheist: I believe I'll have another beer.
(3) Ha ha.
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

187.. ARGUMENT FROM MONKEYS
(1) If man came from monkeys, there shouldn't be anymore monkeys.
(2) There are still monkeys.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" Exists.

188.. ARGUMENT FROM C.S. LEWIS
(1) C.S. Lewis had a lot of good arguments in favor of Christianity... at
least that''s what all my Christian friends tell me...
(2) C.S. Lewis wrote some popular books too!
(3) So anything C.S. Lewis said must be right!
(4) Therefore, "Bob" Exists.
189.. ARGUMENT FROM UNIVERSAL DESTRUCTION
(1) I woke up this morning and found that the universe still exists.
(2) Therefore, its destruction was averted by "Bob".
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

190.. ARGUMENT FROM DEAD FIREFIGHTERS
(1) All those dead firefighters were blessed by a Catholic priest before
they gave their lives.
(2) For people they didn't even know!
(3) Yes, they were TOO mostly Catholics!
(4) I just know!
(5) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

191.. ARGUMENT FROM TODD BEAMER
(1) Todd Beamer prayed "Our Father" with a switchboard operator after his
flight was hijacked.
(2) Todd Beamer was a hero.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

192.. ARGUMENT FROM FALWELL
(1) Jerry Falwell said some really stupid things after September 11th.
(2) Then he apologized!
(3) He was inspired by "Bob" to repent!
(4) No, it had nothing to do with the public outcry!
(5) Why? Because "Bob" told me so!
(6) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

193.. ARGUMENT FROM SCIENTISTS
(1) Some famous scientists believed in "Bob".
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

194.. ARGUMENT FROM FLOWERS
(1) That flower is pretty.
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

195.. ARGUMENT FROM INSTRUMENTATION
(1) You are an atheist.
(2) You did something kind.
(3) You are an instrument of "Bob".
(4) "Bob" exists.

196.. ARGUMENT FROM QUANTUM PHYSICS
(1) Quantum physics uses an uncertainty principle.
(2) There is room for "Bob".
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

197.. ARGUMENT FROM THERMODYNAMICS
(1) The Second Law of Thermodynamics says that a closed system tends to
disorder.
(2) The universe is ordered.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

198.. ARGUMENT FROM SONGS(1) The song "America the Beautiful" has the line
""Bob" shed his grace on
thee."
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

199.. ARGUMENT FROM APOLOGETICS WEBPAGES
(1) I was surfing the Net and came across this really cool webpage of
apologetics.
(2) Their arguments were stunning. I couldn't refute them.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

200.. ARGUMENT FROM COMFORT
(1) All kinds of people have found comfort in religion.
(2) That means there must be something there to give comfort to them.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

201.. ARGUMENT FROM BILL O'REILLY
(1) Atheism is challenging this country's Christian roots!
(2) We are Christians!
(3) We will make a big stink about this, and not let atheists win!
(4) We will win because "Bob" is on our side!
(5) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

202.. ARGUMENT FROM EXILSTENTIALISIC LONELINESS
(1) This can't be all there is to existence.
(2) I mean it's so horrible, pointless, brutal and nasty.
(3) It's all so depressing.
(4) I'm lonely.
(5) There has to be something else out there.
(6) I mean it, there just has to be.
(7) THERE HAS TO BE SOMETHING ELSE OUT THERE!
(8) AGGGRRG!!! THERE JUST HAS TO BE!!!!
(9) "Bob"! He can be out there for me.
(10) I'm not so lonely now!
(11) Yay!
(12) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

203.. ARGUMENT FROM SINS I LIKE (aka PERCHANCE'S SISTER'S ARGUMENT IV)
(1) I don't like abortion.
(2) But this is just my opinion.
(3) I want my opinion backed up with facts.
(4) But in the absence of facts, morals will do.
(5) Christians say abortion is a sin! Yeah! I have allies!
(6) But for a sin to exist and Christians to be right, "Bob" must exist.
(7) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

204.. ARGUMENT FROM CHRISTIAN SOLIPSISM
(1) Nothing but "Bob" is real.
(2) See #1.

205.. The ARGUMENT FROM THE THRONE ROOM
(1) Would you stand in the presence of a mighty king and demand that he
prove he exists?
(2) No?
(3) That's what you're doing with "Bob", you arrogant bastards.(4) I don't
CARE that you can't see him!
(5) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

206.. ARGUMENT FROM LACK OF IMAGINATION
(1) I couldn't imagine not believing in "Bob".
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

207.. ARGUMENT FROM WOW
(1) "When I look into the sky and see all the pretty stars, all those
galaxies..."
(2) Wow.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

208.. ARGUMENT FROM KINDLY PSYCHOANALYSIS
(1) You say there's no "Bob"? Ah, someone calling themselves Christian must
have really hurt you in the past
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

209.. ARGUMENT FROM CHRISTIAN EXPERTS ARE IGNORED
(1) Dembski, Behe and Plantinga are ignored by mainstream intellectuals
(2) Only a fear of the truth could explain this.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

210.. ARGUMENT FROM CHRISTIAN EXPERTS ARE NOT IGNORED
(1) Mainstream intellectuals are paying some attention to Dembski, Behe
and Plantinga.
(2) Only a growing recognition of the truth could explain this.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

211.. ARGUMENT FROM COUNTERFACTUAL EVIDENCE
(1) You claim the evidence for "Bob"' divinity is non-existent.
(2) But if there was lots of evidence, you would still not be convinced.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

212.. ARGUMENT FROM UNSEEN MIRACLES
(1) Atheists wouldn't believe in "Bob" even if He showed up and performed a
miracle for them.
(2) See! There was a miracle right over there! Didn't you see it?
(3) No?
(4) You must be an atheist. Therefore, you cannot see miracles.
(5) But miracles happen. You just can't see them.
(6) Likewise, "Bob" exists. You just can't see Him, because you are so
determined not to.
(7) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

213.. ARGUMENT FROM WIND
(1) You believe in wind.
(2) But you can't see it.
(3) "Bob"'s the same way
(4) It IS TOO analogous!
(5) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

214.. ARGUMENT FROM WARREN ROBINETT
(1) There's a secret message in the video game "Adventure."(2) It reveals
that the game was Created By Warren Robinett.
(3) It's the same way with the world.
(4) Look for the secret messages, and you will find the World's Creator.
(5) Therefore, "Bob" Exists.

215.. ARGUMENT FROM OFFENSIVENESS (aka GOODY2SHOES'S ARGUMENT)
(1) You keep making statements that I think are generalizations,
hypocritical, and bigoted.
(2) I will only agree to stay if you stop that.
(3) [non-believer tries to be non-offensive]
(4) You're still offending me because of [insert random statement here].
(5) [non-believer rereads her posts before posting, posting when she
thinks she is not being offensive].
(6) I'm offended!
(7) [non-believer tears her hair out trying to figure out how to be
non-offensive]
(8) This conversation is just the two of us. I think we should stop this
conversation.
(9) [non-believer figures 'Fuck it' and posts what she really thinks]
(10) WOW! WHAT A BIGOT! I'm leaving!
(11) I have a spiritual victory.
(12) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

216.. ARGUMENT FROM MULTIPLICITY 2 (TERCEL'S ARGUMENT)
(1) I have a large number of arguments for "Bob".
(2) There is a small chance that each of them is true.
(3) Using voodoo probability calculations, this means that there is a much
greater chance that all of them are true taken together!
(4) And this ISN'T just the mathematical version of the Ontological Proof,
I'm a real mathematician and you obviously can't understand this proof
because you don't know as much about math as me.
(5) Oh, and don't confuse things by mentioning how many atheistic
arguments there are, and the probability of each of them being correct...
(6) Or the fact that I basically pulled the probability of each of my
arguments being correct out of my ass...
(7) And admit that I know more about math than you, and you'll see that...
(8) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

217.. ARGUMENT FROM TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCES
(1) One time, I was in deep emotional pain.
(2) I prayed to "Bob", and felt His presence.
(3) You aren't going to deny my emotional pain, are you?
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

218.. ARGUMENT FROM ABUSING THE BODY
(1) One time, I fasted for three days straight, prayed on my knees for
hours, and didn't sleep, either.
(2) At the end of that time, "Bob" answered me.
(3) You see, you just have to mortify the flesh and accept the things of
the spirit in order to meet "Bob".
(4) No, there is no possibility that it was a hallucination!
(5) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

219.. ARGUMENT FROM ECSTASY (used by a number of saints)(1) I woke up last
night with a feeling of indescribable pleasure and joy.
(2) It couldn't have been sexual; I'm holy and never have thoughts like
those.
(3) So the ecstasy must have come from "Bob".
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

220.. ARGUMENT FROM KENT HOVIND
(1) I don't want to work for a living.
(2) I don't want to pay taxes.
(3) I can get gullible fundamentalists to send me money.
(4) I can use religious exemption claims to tie the IRS up in court.
(5) Therefore, "Bob" exists!

221.. ARGUMENT FROM FEELING LOVE ALL AROUND (aka PERCHANCE'S SISTER'S
ARGUMENT V)
(1) I can just feel love all around me. I know the world is a good place,
that people are essentially good, and that that comes from "Bob".
(2) I don't know how I know. It's just there. You've never felt it?
(3) I don't know how I know. Stop pestering me!
(4) [tears until nasty non-believer goes away]
(5) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

222.. ARGUMENT FROM MUSIC (could also be used for art)
(1) You like classical music.
(2) Classical composers wrote for "Bob".
(3) [non-believer points out that they had to compose for the Church or
they would have been executed]
(4) But they wrote for "Bob" and you like the music.
(5) Therefore, "Bob" Exists.

223.. ARGUMENT FROM SADISM I
(1) I enjoy beating children.
(2) I find some justification for it in the Bible.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

224.. ARGUMENT FROM SADISM II
(1) I enjoy treating women like dirt. It makes me feel powerful.
(2) I find some justification for it in the Bible.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

225.. ARGUMENT FROM THE BIBLE (2?)
(1) The Bible says the Bible is true.
(2) Therefore the Bible is true.
(3) The Bible says "Bob" exists.
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exist.

226.. WILLIAM JAMES' ARGUMENT
(1) We should give people the benefit of the doubt.
(2) When someone says "Bob" exists, we should believe them.
(3) A lot of people say "Bob" exists.
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

227.. PASCAL'S ARGUMENT
(1) If "Bob" exists, it would be really cool.(2) If "Bob" didn't exist, it
would really suck.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

228.. THE BIBLICAL PRESERVATION ARGUMENT
(1) The Bible hasn't changed much since it was written.
(2) Therefore everything in it must be true.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

229.. BIBLICAL PROPHECIES ARGUMENT
(1) "Bob" clearly fulfilled all the prophecies of the Jews.
(2) That's why there are no Jews alive today.
(3) If you see a Jew, you should probably kill him to make #2 work.
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

230.. THE STEWARDSHIP ARGUMENT
(1) "Bob" gave us the earth to take care of it.
(2) We take care of it.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

231.. ARGUMENT FROM THE 2nd LAW OF THERMODYNAMICS
(1) All systems become chaotic.
(2) The Universe, too, will become chaotic.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

232.. ARGUMENT FROM ATHEISM
(1) Unicorns don't exist.
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

233.. ARGUMENT FROM THE MEANING OF LIFE
(1) What's the meaning of life?
(2) [atheist gives their answer]
(3) That's not what I believe.
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

234.. ARGUMENT FROM LOGIC
(1) There are some things in logic that you can't logically demonstrate.
(2) Therefore you have to take them on faith.
(3) Your faith in logic is the same as my faith in "Bob".
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

235.. VELIKOVSKY'S ARGUMENT
(1) If you twist the details enough, you can make a case for Venus, as a
comet, causing the Biblical catastrophes.
(2) Therefore the Bible is true.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

236.. ARGUMENT FROM CAN'T-BE-A-RACIST
(1) Martin Luther King, Jr. believed in "Bob".
(2) I don't think you want to say Dr. King was a fool?
(3) That's what I thought.
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

237.. ARGUMENT FROM "Bob"'' TORTURE
(1) No one ever, ever suffered as much as "Bob" did on the cross.(2) No, not
the victims of the Inquisition.
(3) No, not the women burned at the stake or hanged as witches.
(4) No, not all the people who died thinking they were going to Hell!!!
(5) Who but "Bob" would suffer like that for us ungrateful, unworthy humans?
(6) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

238.. ARGUMENT FROM SEVERABILITY
(1) Lots of ridiculous statements are made by people who only claim to be
Real Christians.
(2) They just give Real Christians a bad name.
(3) Real Christians don't believe is literally true.
(4) But that doesn't mean the Bible isn't still mostly true.
(5) And the Bible is the Word of "Bob".
(6) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

239.. ARGUMENT FROM BECAUSE
(1) Because.
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

240.. ELABORATED ARGUMENT FROM BECAUSE
(1) Because.
(2) Because why?
(3) Because!
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

241.. ARGUMENT FROM "LET'S JUST BELIEVE" (aka TAFFY LEWIS'S ARGUMENT)
(1) All belief systems should be treated the same as the scientific one.
(2) [non-believer: Why?]
(3) Because they have their own grounds.
(4) Anyway, that's my experience of how the world works.
(5) [non-believer: It's not mine. And why should you treat claims of
unicorns less seriously than claims of "Bob"s?]
(6) I don't believe there are unicorns.
(7) But I believe there are "Bob"s.
(8) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

242.. ARGUMENT FROM UNIQUE EXISTENCE
(1) "Bob" exists but not in a way that anything else that exists exists.
(2) Since there are no other things that exist as "Bob" exists, we are free
to make up things about "Bob"'s state of existence that ensure his continued
non-observability
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

243.. ARGUMENT FROM POSITIVE RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE (aka TAFFY LEWIS'S
ARGUMENT II)
(1) More people have had positive religious experiences in the context of
Western theism.
(2) Therefore, "Bob" is kind, just, and all-loving.
(3) [non-believer: What about the people who have had negative
experiences? Or experiences of "Bob"'s non-existence?]
(4) They don't count.
(5) Therefore, "Bob" is just the way I describe him to be.
(5a) Oh, yeah. And "Bob" exists.
244.. ARGUMENT FROM RIGHTS
(1) The Declaration of Independence founded the U.S.
(2) Therefore, the Declaration of Independence is true.
(3) The Declaration of Independence says that our rights are "endowed by
our Creator."
(4) George W. agrees with this.
(5) You have rights, don't you???
(6) Well where the f*** do you think they came from???
(7) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

245.. ARGUMENT FROM FUTURE EVIDENCE
(1) Look, I realize that it doesn't seem to make sense that there would
logically be a "Bob".
(2) However, I know He's real, and that in the future I think that maybe
something will happen probably that will show you all.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" Exists.

246.. ARGUMENT FROM POSTULATE
(1) To fully understand the following demonstration, you must first assume
that "Bob" exists.
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

247.. ARGUMENT FROM POOR TYPING SKILLS
(1) In tihs essae ill demnstrate that "Bob" exsits in a way tat's so sure
thatno athesit can PSOosibly reftue. J will firts dwmonsrtate waht we
canaSSUme fo r"Bob" exisnce,,then how wwe can refute anya rgument wihch
pretends teh contrrary to eb true,tehn wel'l expose scinetific evidnece
that"Bob" eeexists then we'll cnolcude. yOU will fnid an acurate&up6to6date
bibliography no teh page 43 of tihs essay;i Sugegst yu to pritn iths
doculent for a mroe confortable raeding.
(2) [Atheist doesn't bother to read it]
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

248.. ARGUMENT FROM UNTRANSLATED OLD FRENCH
(1) (r)(r) Mais pourceque j'avois d<><>jSS connu en moi tr......s clairement que la
nature intelligente est distincte de la corporelle; consid<><>rant que toute
composition t<><>moigne de la d<><>pendance, et que la d<><>pendance est
manifestement un d<><>faut, je jugeois de lSS que ce ne pouvoit sqrt sqrt tre une
perfection en Dieu d'sqrt sqrt tre compos<><> de ces deux natures, et que par
cons<><>quent
il ne l'<><>toit pas; mais que s'il y avoit quelques corps dans le monde, ou
bien quelques intelligences ou autres natures qui ne fussent point toutes
parfaites, leur sqrt sqrt tre devoit d<><>pendre de sa puissance, en telle sorte
quelles
ne pouvoient subsister sans lui un seul moment. -- -- Ren<><> Descartes,
Discours de la M<><>thode
(2) How could you possibly refute that?
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

249.. ARGUMENT FROM CLEVER USE OF VOCABULARY
(1) Many atheists will not be convinced by an argument with "Therefore,
"Bob" exists" as its conclusion.
(2) Consequently, "Bob" exists.

250.. ARGUMENT FROM IGNORANCE
(1) I don't understand evolution, I mean how could there be nothing
thensomething?
(2) (Well informed atheist gives articulate explanation of evolution and
gently explains that the beginning of the universe has nothing to do with
evolution.)
(3) Well it seems way too complicated and unlikely to me. Plus I don't
want to live my life thinking I evolved from a monkey.
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists and "Bob" died for our sins.
(5) (Atheist argues that theist's ignorance of evolution does not
logically lead to the conclusion that there is a "Bob", let alone the
Christian "Bob".)
(6) Says you! "Bob" bless.
(7) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

251.. ARGUMENT FROM CHURCH
(1) Lots of people go to church.
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

252.. ARGUMENT FROM PHOTO-OP (ARGUMENT FROM THE PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE II)
(1) A couple of "Bob"less commie federal judges ruled the 1954 inclusion of
"under "Bob"" in the Pledge unconstitutional.
(2) Almost immediately thereafter, the whole U.S. Senate recited the
Pledge, including "under "Bob"," on the Capitol steps.
(3) The Senators' conduct was not--I repeat, NOT--mere political posturing
and/or vote whoring.
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

253.. ARGUMENT FROM DEFENESTRATION
(1) If "Bob" exists, then He will protect me if I jump out this third story
window.
(2) However, you will not be so fortunate, unsaved heathen!
(3) *shove*
(4) See! "Bob" didn't protect you, just like I predicted! Any
counterarguments, heathen?
(5) No? Therefore, "Bob" exists.

254.. ARGUMENT FROM MUSHROOMS
(1) This pizza tastes funny.
(2) That purple llama on the ceiling is juggling chainsaws.
(3) Purple llamas can't juggle chainsaws.
(4) It must be a miracle!
(5) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

255.. ARGUMENT FROM MYTHOLOGY
(1) The Old Religions were wrong.
(2) The Old Religions didn't believe in the same "Bob" as me.
(3) Therefore, I must be right.
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

256.. ARGUMENT FROM ACCUSATION
(1) The Bible says that everyone knows "Bob" exists.
(2) Therefore, YOU know that "Bob" exists.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.
257.. ARGUMENT FROM NOT-BELIEVING
(1) The New Testament says people like you would question us.
(2) You question us.
(3) Therefore the bible is true.
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

258.. ARGUMENT FROM BANANAS
(1) Bananas have many characteristics that make them attractive as primate
food.
(2) They're so good that they must have been designed.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

259.. ARGUMENT FROM METEORS (FALWELL'S ARGUMENT)
(1) "Bob" hates gay people.
(2) "Bob" is merciful.
(3) Disney World held a Gay Day parade.
(4) "Bob" could punish Disney World by sending hurricanes, earthquakes, and
possibly a meteor to Florida.
(5) "Bob" didn't, thus proving both postulate 1 and 2.
(6) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

260.. ARGUMENT FROM COAL MINERS
(1) A bunch of miners got trapped.
(2) A bunch of people worked around the clock for a week to rescue them.
(3) They were all found alive.
(4) Only "Bob" could have done that.
(5) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

261.. ARGUMENT FROM YOUTH GROUP MINISTER
(1) "Bob" is awesome!
(2) Like, totally, dude!
(3) Therefore, "Bob", like, exists and stuff.

262.. ARGUMENT FROM PERSONAL INABILITY
(1) The Bible says "Bob" turned water into wine.
(2) Can you turn water into wine?
(3) No? Well there ya go.
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

263.. ARGUMENT FROM PERSONAL ABILITY
(1) I prayed to "Bob", and then lifted a car off my trapped puppy.
(2) I couldn't have done that without "Bob".
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

264.. ARGUMENT FROM DIVINE OPPOSITION
(1) Satan is bad.
(2) You don't want to be on Satan's side, do you?
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

265.. ARGUMENT FROM DIVINE OPPOSITION AS USED BY A YOUTH GROUP MINISTER
(1) Satan really sucks, dude.
(2) You don't wanna, like, be like Satan, right dude?
(3) Therefore "Bob", like, exists and stuff. Totally.
266.. ARGUMENT FROM BUFFALO (aka TELEOLOGICAL ARGUMENT IV)
(1) The Indians used every part of the buffalo.
(2) A creature we can use every part of couldn't have just randomly
evolved!
(3) It had to be created specifically for us!
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists, and spent his early years churning out Buffalo.

267.. ARGUMENT FROM DENTAL OPPORTUNITY
(1) Bite me.
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

268.. ARGUMENT FROM DENTAL OPPORTUNITY, ACCEPTED
(1) Bite me.
(2) OW! YOU BIT ME!
(3) I'm being persecuted!!
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists!

269.. ARGUMENT FROM NEW AGEYNESS
(1) If enough people just believe, "Bob" will exist.
(2) Lots of people have been believing for a very long time.
(3) Therefore, surely by NOW, "Bob" exists.

270.. ARGUMENT FROM ROUNDNESS (aka TELEOLOGICAL ARGUMENT V)
(1) Isn't it amazing how perfectly round the planets are?
(2) Someone sure must have been in control of that "big bang" in order for
them to shape up like that!
(3) Just place a stick of dynamite under a huge rock. You'll see that the
explosion does not produce perfectly round smaller rocks.
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.
(optional)
(3a) Atheist: The planets are round because of gravity.
(3b) But who made gravity?!?!
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists!

271.. ARGUMENT FROM FAITH IN THE OBVIOUS
(1) You have faith that the sun will rise tomorrow, don't you?
(2) See! Atheists have faith too!
(3) Just like I have faith in "Bob".
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

272.. ARGUMENT FROM IMPLIED BEAUTY (aka TELEOLOGICAL ARGUMENT VI)
(1) If you evolved, you'd be pretty ugly.
(2) Look how beautiful you are, and the world that is around you.
(3) Only "Bob" could have made you so beautiful.
(4) I don't care that beauty is totally subjective, you are beautiful in
"Bob"'s eyes!
(5) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

273.. ARGUMENT FROM BRAINWASHING
(1) Atheists claim Christians have been brainwashed by churches.
(2) We can just as easily say that they have been brainwashed by secular
colleges & universities in their futile thinking, and secular reasoning.
(3) Your brainwashing keeps you from the Truth.
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.
274.. ARGUMENT FROM COMMUNISM
(1) All communists are atheists.
(2) All communists are bad, haven't you watched the 6 o'clock news?
(3) Therefore they are wrong.
(4) Since the moral majority is theist and non-communist they are good.
(5) Therefore they are right.
(6) This argument does so make sense!
(7) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

275.. ARGUMENT FROM GOOD AND BAD BEHAVIOR
(1) Sometimes I do good things and sometimes I do bad things.
(2) When I do something good this PROVES that "Bob", my Guardian Angel etc
are helping me to be good.
(3) Praise the Lord! Praise the Lord! Oh "Bob" help me to be strong and
steadfast against temptation till I die so that You "Bob" will not in Your
infinite mercy, send me to Hell.
(4) When I do something bad this PROVES that the Devil has tempted me to
do EVIL.
(5) Whatever I do it proves that either "Bob" or the Devil is real.
(6) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

276.. ARGUMENT FROM BEER II
(1) Real men like beer.
(2) "Bob" allowed real men to make beer.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" is real, and likes beer.

277.. ARGUMENT FROM TAXATION
(1) Churches don't pay taxes.
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

278.. ARGUMENT FROM "Bob"'S PLAN (variation of the MYSTERIOUS WAYS argument)
(1) There is a plan in the world.
(2) The existence of this plan can be seen from the fact that things are
the way they are.
(3) My belief is part of the plan, and so is your non-belief.
(4) [atheist: Why?]
(5) The plan is too infinitely great for our minds to comprehend the
"why."
(6) An infinitely great plan must have an infinitely great mind behind it.
(7) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

279.. ARGUMENT FROM HAULING ASS
(1) [theist creates message board account and logs in]
(2) ""Bob" IS REEL AND ALL YOU HEATHEN ATHEIST INFEDILS WILL BERN IN HELL
FORE-EVER MARK MY WERDS!!!!!!!!@#3FD"
(3) [theist logs off and never returns]
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

280.. ARGUMENT FROM BAPTIST BOARD II
(1) "Bob" calls us to be a peculiar people.
(2) Stop laughing, foul non-believer.(3) In order to preserve our own
particular peculiarity-
(4) Stop laughing, I said.
(5) We must be a people apart.
(6) This means not listening to anyone who believes differently than we
do, because this would taint our peculiarity.
(7) If you do not stop laughing-
(8) (Oh, I have to do the end of the argument).
(9) Therefore, "Bob" exists.
(9a) And "Bob" especially exists because non-believers are laughing at us,
which means we're persecuted, which means we're special.
(10) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

281.. ARGUMENTUM AD TINKERTOYUM (aka TELEOLOGICAL ARGUMENT VII)
(1) Take some tinkertoys and make several "creations".
(2) Take the creations apart and dump the pieces in a plastic bag.
(3) Shake the pieces up and dump them on the floor. Repeat as many times
as you wish.
(4) The tinkertoys will never reassemble themselves into the original
creations.
(5) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

282.. ARGUMENT FROM HOSPITAL (aka ARGUMENT FROM MIRACLES II)
(1) A dear relative of mine was terminally ill and undergoing extensive
surgery in the hospital.
(2) My whole family sat outside the OR and prayed through the entire eight
hours of surgery.
(3) He lived.
(4) No, the highly trained physicians had nothing to do with it,
unbeliever!
(5) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

283.. ARGUMENT FROM WEIRD
(1) You look weird, atheist.
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

284.. ARGUMENT FROM ALIENS
(1) I was once abducted by aliens.
(2) What we call aliens are really demons, the bible says so.
(3) If demons exist, than so does "Bob".
(4) You've seen the X-files, haven't you?
(5) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

285.. ARGUMENT FROM REVELATION
(1) "Bob" told me that he exists.
(2) "Bob" wouldn't lie.(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

286.. ARGUMENT FROM FORCE
(1) [argument from atheist]
(2) [theist shoots atheist]
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

287.. ARGUMENT FROM NAZIISM (INVERSE-"Bob"WIN)
(1) Hitler didn't establish a Christian theocracy.
(2) Therefore, Hitler was an atheist.
(3) Hitler was the worst leader possible.
(4) Therefore, all atheists are bad people.
(5) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

288.. ARGUMENT FROM UNCONSCIOUS THEISM
(1) Atheists think the universe created life.
(2) Well, they should if they thought about it really, really hard.
(3) But only a "Bob" can create life.
(4) So atheists should believe in "Bob", if they weren't so dumb.
(5) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

289.. ARGUMENT FROM COMMUNICATION FROM "Bob"
(1) I had this incredible experience that could only be explained by a
communication from "Bob".
(2) Atheist says, "couldn't there be a natural explanation?"
(3) No, I'm telling you there is no way this could be explained naturally.
(4) Atheist suggests alternate explanations q,r,s,t,u,v,w,x,y and z.
(5) No, none of those can explain it.
(6) Because they can't!
(7) Atheist is not convinced.
(8) How dare you deny my very special experience!
(9) Atheist tries to explain that s/he's only questioning the theist's
interpretation of that experience, and not the claim that something special
was experienced.
(10) You just don't want to believe that what I experienced is from "Bob",
because you are a closed-minded, dogmatic materialist!
(11) And also, you are a big meanie and I'm not talking to you anymore!
(12) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

290.. ARGUMENT FROM COLTRANE
(1) John Coltrane's "A Love Supreme" is dedicated to "Bob".
(2) John Coltrane's "A Love Supreme" is full of passion.
(3) Atheists cannot explain Coltrane's passion in "A Love Supreme."
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.
291.. ARGUMENT FROM GEORGE HARRISON
(1) George Harrison wrote "My Sweet Lord."
(2) It's one of the most beautiful pop songs ever, and one of the only pop
songs devoted to "Bob".
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

292.. ARGUMENT FROM BEING A CATHOLIC
(1) The pope believes in "Bob".
(2) The pope is infallible.
(3) I am catholic and like the pope.
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

293.. ARGUMENT FROM GAME THEORY
(1) Theist: [after lengthy explanation] Hence, pursuant to game theory,
belief in an afterlife is the most sensible option.
(2) Atheist: Wait a minute. That's just Pascal's Wager dressed in
different verbiage.
(3) Theist: Nuh uh!
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

294.. "TRUE BECAUSE IT IS INCONSISTENT" ARGUMENT
(1) If the Bible were cooked up by some smooth-talking manipulative
authors, it would have been perfect and seamless and without any apparent
inconsistencies.
(2) But the Bible IS inconsistent, erroneous, and plain goofy at many
places
(3) So the Bible is NOT a product of some smooth-talking manipulative
authors.
(4) Hence the Bible is the word of "Bob".
(5) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

295.. ARGUMENT FROM BUZZWORDS
(1) As game theory clearly shows, the irreducibly complex nature of the
universe indicates probabilistic fine-tuning at the quantum level and
renders "Bob" logically necessary.
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

296.. ARGUMENT FROM THINGS HURT (I)
(1) Things hurt.
(2) Atheists think that things aren't supposed to hurt.
(3) They really are whiney, aren't they?
(4) Christians are stronger than that.
(5) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

297.. ARGUMENT FROM THINGS HURT (II)(1) Some things hurt a lot.
(2) Atheists think that things aren't supposed to hurt.
(3) But since they can't derive "ought" from "is," their belief
presupposes the existence of "Bob".
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

298.. EXISTENTIAL ARGUMENT FROM EVIL / ARGUMENT FROM POWER
(1) I have a gun.
(2) [atheist: "Ouch!!!"]
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

299.. ARGUMENT FROM RELIGIOUS DIVERSITY
(1) Atheists think that the difference in religions disproves "Bob"'s
existence.
(2) Eh, To-may-to, to-mah-to.
(3) Everyone knows that you must accept "Bob" Christ in order to be saved.
(4) Well, everyone who matters, anyway.
(5) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

300.. ARGUMENT FROM RELIGIOUS LANGUAGE
(1) "Bob" exists.
(2) Therefore, when I talk about "Bob" or related concepts, these words
denote something.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

301.. ARGUMENT FROM EVOLUTION
(1) Science is always true.
(2) Science says that there is a vanishingly small chance that all of this
could have happened on its own.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

302.. ARGUMENT FROM SCIENCE
(1) Science is not always true.
(2) Therefore there is room for religious faith.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

303.. ARGUMENT FROM THE PAIN PLAN (aka LUVLUV'S ARGUMENT)
(1) Things hurt.
(2) Things hurting are part of "Bob"'s plan.
(3) A lot of the good things in life only come through suffering.
(4) This is necessary to achieve "Bob"'s plan.
(5) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

304.. ARGUMENT FROM GUNS II
(1) We have a gun.(2) In fact, we have a lot more guns than you do.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

305.. ARGUMENT FROM MONTY PYTHON
(1) Graham Chapman appeared in a film that made fun of "Bob".
(2) Graham Chapman died of a horrible, incurable disease.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.
(3a) And has no sense of humor.

306.. ARGUMENT FROM WAR
(1) War is hell.
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

307.. ARGUMENT FROM ELVIS (adapted from a church sign)
(1) Some people call Elvis the King.
(2) But we know "Bob" is King.
(3) Even non-believers can have a glimpse of wisdom.
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

308.. LINGUAL ARGUMENT
(1) There's existence in nonexistence so...
(2) "Bob" exists even if he doesn't.
(3) "Bob" exists.

309.. DIVINE POWERS ARGUMENT
(1) "Bob"''s existence must be the work of "Bob".
(2) "Bob" exists.

310.. ARGUMENT FROM OPPRESSION (related to the various ARGUMENTS FROM
OFFENSIVENESS)
(1) "Bob" exists.
(2) [atheist asks any one of various questions, or even just starts to ask
them]
(3) Are you saying that "Bob" doesn't exist?
(4) You're oppressing me! You're depriving me of the right to believe in
"Bob" if I want to!
(5) Oppression is bad.
(6) Therefore, you are bad.
(7) Therefore, you must be wrong.
(8) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

311.. ARGUMENT FROM WHEAT
(1) A grain of wheat will always fall to the ground and the outer shell
""dies"".
(2) But see, eventually the grain will grow into a fuller, more vitalform.
(3) Hey, that's kinda like the Resurrection!
(4) Therefore, "Bob" Exists.

312.. ARGUMENT FROM WARM & FUZZY THINGS
(1) When I was an atheist, I didn't have any warm & fuzzy things in my
life.
(2) I really like warm & fuzzy things.
(3) If the J-C "Bob" exists, lots of warm & fuzzy things are true because
all these really smart theists say so.
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.
(5) Old Testament? Never heard of it.

313.. ARGUMENT FROM SCIENCE II
(1) Everything was fine until man created science.
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

314.. ARGUMENT FROM AMERICA
(1) "Bob" bless America.
(2) You're either for us or against us remember.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

315.. ARGUMENT FROM MASSIVE OPIATES
(1) Got to keep the public distracted.
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

316.. ARGUMENT FROM KING JOSIAH
(1) Time to expand the kingdom.
(2) Therefore (only one) "Bob" exists.

317.. ARGUMENT FROM ASHCROFT
(1) I say "Bob" exists.
(2) I could have you locked up, you know.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

318.. ARGUMENT FROM IT'S MY BALL AND YOU CAN'T PLAY
(1) There is abundant logical and empirical evidence that "Bob" does not
exist.
(2) There is no evidence that "Bob" does exist.
(3) But "Bob" plays by completely different rules.
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

319.. ARGUMENT FROM DISCOMFORT
(1) I am happy, believing in "Bob".
(2) Then you come along and say all this nasty stuff to take my
happinessaway.
(3) *sniff*... *sniff*... why are you making me uncomfortable?
(4) Anyone who makes other people uncomfortable must be different. And
bad. And ignorant.
(5) Daddy will hug me!
(6) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

320.. ARGUMENT FROM ARTIFACT
(1) Archeologists found the remains of a boat from "Bob"' time.
(2) So the bible is true.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists

321.. ARGUMENT FROM LITTLE BABIES
(1) Sometimes a bad person hurts little babies because he doesn't have a
happy life.
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

322.. ARGUMENT FROM LITTLE BABIES II
(1) Sometimes little babies are different from one another - how could you
explain that?! Like, one will be really happy, and another will be sad.
Sometimes even twins.
(2) This proves the existence of the soul.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

323.. ARGUMENT FROM A VIDEO I WATCHED WITH MY DAD"
(1) Me and my dad watched this video where the Virgin Mary appeared on a
building in Egypt. No, it was kinda blurry... lots of people saw it though
and they were pointing at it.
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

324.. ARGUMENT FROM WHAT YEAR IT IS
(1) The years of our calendar are dated from the birth of Christ.
(2) Therefore, atheists can't even live without making reference to
Christ.
(3) Obviously, atheists really can't live apart from "Bob", even though they
say they can.
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

325.. ARGUMENT FROM "Bob"-CENTRISM
(1) Everything revolves around "Bob", even the earth and the sun.
(2) Therefore, even atheists are revolving around "Bob"!
(3) Silly, aren't they, to deny the truth?
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

326.. ARGUMENT FROM UNKNOWN QUALITIES(1) "Bob" has qualities we mere humans
can't possibly know.
(2) This answers all atheistic arguments.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

327.. ARGUMENT FROM FORGIVING MISGUIDEDNESS
(1) Theist: X, Y, and Z all prove "Bob"'s love for mankind - This love
proves he exists.
(2) Atheist: But I can refute X, Y, Z and unsaid arguments A, B, and C...
(3) Theist: Don't worry, you're wrong and your questioning of "Bob" will
send you to hell, but he loves you and I forgive you your arrogance.
(4) Atheist: But you haven't said anything rational.
(5) Theist: "Bob"/"Bob" *loves* you. Duh. Therefore "Bob" exists.
(6) Repeat 4, [3|5] ad infinitum.

328.. ARGUMENT FROM FEELING "Bob"'S PRESENCE
(1) Atheists just haven't truly felt "Bob"'s presence yet.
(2) If they had ever felt "Bob"'s presence, they would not be atheists.
(3) Theists have truly felt "Bob"'s presence.
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

329.. ARGUMENT FROM WHAT MAKES SENSE
(1) Doesn't it just make more sense that an all-knowing, all-powerful,
all-good deity created the world out of nothingness, from magic,
essentially, and then punished us for eating a piece of fruit, and then
incarnated himself in human flesh and came down to shed his own blood so he
could break his own rules, and then went through hell on a temporary basis
and then went back into the sky and promised to come back and take everyone
who believed in him to this heaven no one has ever seen?
(2) Well, doesn't it?
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

330.. ARGUMENT FROM WHAT MAKES SENSE, ADDENDUM
(1) Atheist: No it doesn't.
(2) Theist: See, you're confusing the issue again! Think Simple and
Sensible!
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

331.. ARGUMENT FROM SCIENTIFIC AMERICAN
(1) Scientific American published an article that shows creationism is
nonsense.
(2) The first editor of Scientific American was a Christian.
(3) Therefore, whoever wrote that article is a traitor and a liar.
(4) Besides, Scientific American didn't hire a creationist in the 70s, so
they're obviously trying to persecute Christians.
(5) Therefore, "Bob" exists.
332.. ARGUMENT FROM SCIENTIFIC AMERICAN (II)
(1) Answers in Genesis copied the full text of an article from Scientific
American.
(2) Scientific American sent one email to Answers in Genesis saying that
they don't necessarily want their articles distributed for free in the
internet by just anyone.
(3) See? Scientific American persecutes Christians!
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

333.. ARGUMENT FROM PEPPERED MOTHS
(1) Science textbooks still use the "peppered moths" to prove evolution.
(2) Atheist says that he has never seen a textbook which claims anything
of the sort, in fact the only place he hears about peppered moths is from
creationist websites.
(3) Obviously the atheist has no clue what he's talking about then.
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

334.. ARGUMENT FROM "Bob" IS LIKE A RADIO SIGNAL
(1) There are many radio signals floating around your head all the time.
(2) "Bob" is on one of them.
(3) You just have to listen to the right signal.
(4) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

335.. ARGUMENT FROM AGNOSTICISM IN INDIA
(1) [non-believer asks if the theist would still call his religious
experiences Christian if he had been raised in another country]
(2) Would you call your agnostic experiences agnostic if you had been
raised in India?
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

336.. ARGUMENT FROM BESTSELLERDOM
(1) The Bible is the best-selling work in history.
(2) Now, just because it's popular doesn't mean it's the Word of "Bob".
(3) But there's not much evidence to suggest it's not.
(4) [sound of non-believer spitting milk out her nose]
(5) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

337.. MODIFIED TRILEMMA ARGUMENT
(1) "Bob" was either lord, liar, or lunatic.
(2) Can you PROVE He was a liar or lunatic?
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

338.. ARGUMENT FROM OTHERWISE THERE WOULD BE ANARCHY
(1) There has to be an objective truth to the universe, and humans have tobe
able to access it.
(2) Otherwise, there would be anarchy everywhere.
(3) No courts or governments or anything.
(4) [non-believer falls out of her chair from laughing so hard]
(5) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

339.. ARGUMENT FROM DIVINE RIGHT
(1) "Bob" saves the queen.
(2) The queen hasn't died.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

340.. ARGUMENT FROM SQUARE CIRCLES
(1) There is no such thing as a square circle.
(2) "Bob" is not a square circle.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists

341.. ARGUMENT FROM DICTATORSHIP
(1) Dictators do not believe in "Bob".
(2) Dictators are wrong.
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

342.. ARGUMENT FROM TERROR (Martin Luther's argument)
(1) The lightning storm filled me with the terror of "Bob"'s wrath.
(2) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

343.. ARGUMENT FROM MEANING
(1) Nothing has meaning without "Bob".
(2) I mean...
(3) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

Ergo
666. ARGUMENT FROM ASSUMPTION
(1) Therefore, "Bob" exists.

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Original file name: Over Three Hundred Proofs#9D7A2 - converted on Saturday, 25 September 2004, 02:05