admit it

From: "nu-monet v6.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>
Date: Thu, Feb 26, 2004

The Jews WANTED Jesus dead.

The guy was a HERETIC. A disbeliever. A Jew who
renounces Judaism. He claims he is the Jewish
Messiah, the purpose of which is to conquer the
world so that Jews rule it.

RIGHT IN FRONT of the ROMANS!

HE WAS GOING TO GET *EVERYBODY'S* ASS KICKED!

Now, let's say that you are a Sunni Arab, who
lives in the "Sunni Triangle" of Iraq. RIGHT
IN FRONT OF THE U.S. 4TH ID COMMANDER, YOU
STAND UP AND YELL "FELLOW SUNNIS, FOLLOW ME AND
WE WILL OVERTHROW THE HATED AMERICANS AND RULE
ALL OF IRAQ!"

Now, the 4th ID Commander is a relatively nice
guy, being an American, but YOU have just broken
the law, big time. So he has you arrested.

But instead of throwing you into prison, like
the other troublemakers, the US wants the Iraqis
to rule themselves to some degree. So he asks
your fellow Sunni Arabs: "What do you want me
to do with this guy?"

"KILL HIM!", they yell. "KILL THE BA'ATHIST!"

"Not my problem," says the 4th ID Commander,
"the people have spoken. Firing squad good
enough?"

"NO!", they chant. "CRUXIFY HIM!"

Mumbling something about peasant savages under
his breath, the 4th ID Commander says, "Okay,
whatever."

And, in 2000 years, a movie is made that makes
the US look like the bad guys in all of this
shit.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Artemia Salina <y2k@sheayright.com>

And in that movie, which is based on notes taken
by semi-literate peasants many years after the fact,
misspelled the then US president's name as "Gargar Binksh
the Second" and their own dictatorial ruler as "Sammy
Shoeshine."

--
"Please God, help me cleanse the computer of viruses and evil photographs
that disturb and ruin my work ..., so that I shall be able to cleanse
myself." -- Rabbi Shlomo Eliahu

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Cardinal Vertigo <jhobbs@myrealbox.com>

Artemia Salina wrote:
> And in that movie, which is based on notes taken
> by semi-literate peasants

read: "based on surviving Usenet archives."

--
"In a way, I see posting to alt.slack as being like pitching duck
food into a pond. The ducks may eat it, or they may miss it and a
fish will eat it, or it may just turn into gooey black muck on the
bottom. In any event, the best thing that will occur is either duck
shit, fish shit, or gooey black muck." -- nu-monet v6.0

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: mshotz@aol.commonkeypo (Rev. Richard Skull)

>read: "based on surviving Usenet archives."

Based on a Soldier of Fortune Article, Special reader's digest COndensed
version

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)

"nu-monet v6.0" <nothing@succeeds.com> wrote:
> And, in 2000 years, a movie is made that makes
> the US look like the bad guys in all of this shit.

Everybody loves that new-car smell, but nobody likes the fine print
on the sticker.

HellPope Huey / www.subgenius.com
All of "Bob's" cigars are exploding ones.

"Now we're looking for clown sex and clown murder."
- " CSI"

Because I'm Jewish, a lot of people ask why I killed Christ.
What can I say? It was one of those parties that got out of hand.
I killed him because he wouldn't become a doctor.
- Lenny Bruce

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: mshotz@aol.commonkeypo (Rev. Richard Skull)

>The Jews WANTED Jesus dead.
>
>The guy was a HERETIC. A disbeliever. A Jew who
>renounces Judaism. He claims he is the Jewish
>Messiah, the purpose of which is to conquer the
>world so that Jews rule it.

Kinda like what the Religous Right want to do to everyone else these days!

And he was the one who found out about the protocaols of Zion. He Xereoxed them
and hung them up on local Crucifiction crosses to help spread the world that
the Jews were planing to take over and HE was not included!

>RIGHT IN FRONT of the ROMANS!

Damned Romans! Out side of Sanitatian, Law & Order, and plumbing, what have
they givinn us? NOTHING!

>HE WAS GOING TO GET *EVERYBODY'S* ASS KICKED!

And Judas was the one who was supposed to take down the names. He suffered form
writer's cramp so bad, he dreaded the thought of writing down the name of
everyone in the known world. Thats why he turned Jesus in! He was a Slacker! He
was Christ's "BoB"!

>Now, let's say that you are a Sunni Arab, who
>lives in the "Sunni Triangle" of Iraq. RIGHT
>IN FRONT OF THE U.S. 4TH ID COMMANDER, YOU
>STAND UP AND YELL "FELLOW SUNNIS, FOLLOW ME AND
>WE WILL OVERTHROW THE HATED AMERICANS AND RULE
>ALL OF IRAQ!"
>
>Now, the 4th ID Commander is a relatively nice
>guy, being an American, but YOU have just broken
>the law, big time. So he has you arrested.
>
>But instead of throwing you into prison, like
>the other troublemakers, the US wants the Iraqis
>to rule themselves to some degree. So he asks
>your fellow Sunni Arabs: "What do you want me
>to do with this guy?"
>
>"KILL HIM!", they yell. "KILL THE BA'ATHIST!"
>
>"Not my problem," says the 4th ID Commander,
>"the people have spoken. Firing squad good
>enough?"
>
>"NO!", they chant. "CRUXIFY HIM!"
>
>Mumbling something about peasant savages under
>his breath, the 4th ID Commander says, "Okay,
>whatever."
>
>And, in 2000 years, a movie is made that makes
>the US look like the bad guys in all of this
>shit.

Now you've donw it! The CIA will be at the door soon to ask how you knew!

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Original file name: admit it.txt - converted on Saturday, 25 September 2004, 02:05