Maybe...

From: Artemia Salina <y2k@sheayright.com>
Date: Wed, Oct 1, 2003

Has it ever occurred to you that there really is no
"Church of the Subgenius;" that in fact you are living
in an insane asylum, and what you do for a living, and
all of the people you know are just elaborate fantasies
manufactured by a sick, sick, mind?

I mean, think about it. The Reverend Ivan Stang could
just as easily, and in fact more probably, be the staff
psychiatrist on duty, and J.R. "Bob" Dobbs could be the
administrative head of the hospital in which you are a
guest. Perhaps the "Doktors" of your twisted fantasies
are really DOCTORS. It would make prefect sense that
Dr. Stang would receive orders and instructions from
Head Administrator Dobbs (a.k.a. "Dobbs Head"). Legume
could actually be a stick-wielding orderly (the one who
stole your smokes), rather than the stick-wielding
preacher you imagine him to be. Lillith von Frauhmench
could in fact be Nurse Mildred Ratched. You have to
admit there are many similarities. Nenslo could be
Randle Patrick McMurphy. Ditto.

Have you ever noticed the uncanny resemblance between
"Martini" and iDRMRSR? Haven't you ever wondered WHY?

It's eerie when you think about it. Perhaps there is no
Brushwood. Your trips to X-Day were really just group
field-trips to the local park. You THOUGHT you had all
camped there for several days, waiting for the UFOs, but
in reality you had only stayed for several hours. You've
never really been to Amsterdam either; that was just a sneak
trip that you were dragged along on to the boiler room where
the janitors were smoking a little reefer with the orderlies.

Of course, this whole "Church" thing is just a big joke, right?
It's just something to amuse yourself and to help break up the
monotony... The monotony of what, playing cards and watching
TV all day every day in the Activity Room?

Did you really send your $30 to "Bob", or did Orderly Huey
threaten to sodomize you if you didn't pay him off?

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From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

Mildred, 3 cc more on patient Bibbitt please.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
PRABOB

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

Hassler -- when you come back from the bus, bring a thorazine! Looks
like Babs glagged down one cup too many of the "orange juice" and
thinks he's in Ken's book again. Or something. Uh... maybe bring TWO...
he's REALLY deep in it this time. Like he's added yet another layer to
it or something.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "iDRMRSR" <idrmrsr@subgenius.com>

You mean the COTSG is kind of like, a reverse cabinet of Dr. Caligari? With
words?

I could buy that. However, you should see my credit card bills for going to
Indyvival. If I was crazy, the rate for that room wouldn't have been so
outrageous. Nice room, though.

If you are living lonely in a real bad place, but have the capability to
hallucinate luxury and friends, damn, that's not so bad.

[*]
-----

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From: "iDRMRSR" <idrmrsr@subgenius.com>

"THREATEN" to sodomize me?

[*]
-----

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)

mshotz@aol.commonkeypo (Rev. Richard Skull) wrote:
> >"THREATEN" to sodomize me?
>
> Threaten NOT to sodomize you?

Threaten to just wave my neon pink jelly double dong at you and sing
selections from "West Side Story" as you sweat like Krusty at a
paternity hearing. 'Sodomy, sodomy, I'm all through with sodomy,
sodomy now, I don't know hooooowww, I kept my dong, in you so
looonnnnggg...." If you need to drive the missionaries away quickly,
there's the song that'll do it. Vocally, anyway. Now if you can crank
up some GWAR super-loud, that works well, too.

HellPope Huey
Janor for Occupant!

It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits
to point out that the emperor has no clothes.
But the half-wit remains a half-wit,
and the emperor remains an emperor.
- Neil Gaiman, from "The Sandman"

"The more we do to you,
the less you seem to believe we are doing it."
- Dr. Joseph Mengele

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com>

"iDRMRSR" <idrmrsr@subgenius.com> wrote:
>You mean the COTSG is kind of like, a reverse cabinet of Dr. Caligari? With
>words?

That's what I'm worried about. What if there really is no church, and
I am really living in "One flew over the cuckoo's nest" as an inmate,
but what if I am living as an inmate in "One flew over the cuckoo's
nest", but -he- is -really- living in "The Cabinet of Dr Caligari"?

But what if the one who is living in Caligari is -really- living in
"The Wizard of Oz", in -Oz-, but what if -he- is really living in "The
Wizard of Oz", in -Kansas-, and what if -he- is really living in
"Fight Club", and he's not really Brad Pitt at all, and what if -he-
is living in an old episode of "I Love Lucy", but a strange, altered
"I Love Lucy" where they are all naked Satan worshippers, but what if
-that- "I Love Lucy" -doesn't even really exist-, but is purely
something dreamed up by Beaver Cleaver when he ate those mushrooms
that Wally told him not to eat?

I mean it's a fuck of a lot of typing, if nothing else.

DU MUSS BOB DOBBS WERDEN!

>I could buy that. However, you should see my credit card bills for going to
>Indyvival. If I was crazy, the rate for that room wouldn't have been so
>outrageous. Nice room, though.
>
>If you are living lonely in a real bad place, but have the capability to
>hallucinate luxury and friends, damn, that's not so bad.

I'd like to think if this were all a fevered hallucination of mine I
could hallucinate something where I get laid more.

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

wasn't it Ezekiel who tied his ass to a tree and walked 20 miles?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Artemia Salina <y2k@sheayright.com>

Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
> Mildred, 3 cc more on patient Bibbitt please.

It is by will alone, I set my mind in motion.
It is by the juice of Sapho, the thoughts aquire speed.
The lips aquire stains.
The stains become a warning.
It is by will alone, I set my mind in motion.

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Original file name: Maybe.txt - converted on Saturday, 25 September 2004, 02:05