From: Some Dumbass <nodding@water.com>
Date: Sun, Sep 14, 2003
This is long and rambling and filled with stuff you
don't care about,
but I'll get to the point (sort of) eventually. Feel
free to ignore
this post NOW.
Today, I went to see the Smithsonian's traveling September
11 exhibit
(http://www.dfw.com/mld/dfw/news/6754138.htm). This
marks the second
time that the events of September 11, 2001 have completely
convinced
me, at least momentarily, that I had finally snapped
and was quite
literally no longer in touch with reality.
The first time was at approximately 9:00 CST on 9-11-01.
That summer
and fall were not kind to me at all, and I had been
experiencing MAJOR
stress at home and at work. I'd been having panic attacks
and
developed near-crippling anxiety and depression.
I had been listening to the local news radio station
on the way into
work, and it was just another boring day. I got to
work at 8:00 and
stood around outside smoking a cigarette and chatting
with some
co-workers before going in (my shift started at 8:30).
Once inside, a
co-worker told me that he had just heard from his wife,
an American
Airlines employee, that a plane had hit one of the buildings
in the
World Trade Center complex. At first I thought he was
wrong, because
after all, I'd just been listening to the news 10 minutes
ago and
hadn't heard anything... He had the radio tuned to
the same station I
had been listening to on the way in. His mood matched
my reaction: I
wasn't especially shocked. I assumed a relatively minor
accident
involving small Cessna -type plane... pilot has a heart
attack, or
pulls some jackass stunt that goes wrong. I fully expected
to see
news footage later that day of the ass-end of a small
plane hanging
out of one of the windows.
Then there was a second plane. A jetliner. Then we
learned that the
FBI had reports of multiple, simultaneous hijackings
of commercial
airliners. Reports of people jumping out of the WTC
towers by the
dozens. Then the friggin buildings came down. Then
there was a
report of an "explosion" at the Pentagon.
There were also reports of
a car bomb at the State house, and another report of
a bomb at the
capitol building. The government grounded all flights.
I worked
only a few miles from the 3rd busiest airport in the
world, and the
complete lack of aircraft noise was extremely creepy.
During the
course of the morning, it was also reported that there
were additional
international US-bound flights which were unaccounted
for. Local
government buildings were being evacuated. Lots of
these reports
later turned out to be false, but on that day suspension
of disbelief
was very easy, and nothing seemed impossible. This
was a nutcase Tom
Clancy conspiracy theory come to life.
Needless to say, I was completely freaked out. I fully
expected a
full-scale military invasion by some unknown entity.
I would not have
been shocked at all if the next report had been of mushroom
clouds
over Los Angeles.
I was doubly freaked out, because I worked with a bunch
of COMPLETE
IDIOTS. I'm in a total freak-out, and everyone around
me was reacting
as though they'd just heard that Brad Pitt had stubbed
his toe.
Somehow, everyone else seemed to think it was no big
deal. I became
alarmed by their lack of what I considered to be an
appropriate
reaction to these horrifically surreal events. It must
have meant
that I was reacting inappropriately. Because it all
seemed so
impossibly unreal, and because everyone else at my workplace
seemed to
be completely nonchalant about the whole affair, it
slowly started to
occur to me that maybe it WAS just a Cessna, and I had
completely
imagined the rest of the news reports. Maybe none of
it had happened
at all. After all, I hadn't really been feeling like
myself lately;
maybe I had finally lost it, and this was my first genuine
psychotic
episode.
Eventually, I calmed down somewhat, but to this day
I cannot go into
a high-rise building without imagining what it must
be like to have to
choose between burning to death and jumping out the
window. I can't
stop myself imagining what it must be like to consciously
decide to
jump from the 103rd floor and fall several long seconds
to certain
obliteration. I remembered times when I fell onto icy
sidewalks and
hurt my knees and elbows. I wondered if the jumpers'
last
microseconds were filled with terror and agony before
"lights out".
I have never been comfortable with flying, but now I
think it would be
pretty much impossible to get me on a plane for any
reason. For
months I couldn't stop thinking about the horrors that
must have been
experienced by the people on board the planes, and the
people who had
to jump. Still, there's some part of my mind that refuses
to believe
that any of it was real.
Fast forward to today. I go to the Fort Wort Museum
of Science &
Industry, knowing that I'm going to see artifacts from
that day. It
seems to be specifically tailored to my neuroses...
a display of
things guaranteed to freak me outl. There's a video
camera that
Gedeon and Jules Naudet used to film the horrific events
of the day.
The unblinking eye that saw it all. There's a mangled
and crumpled
door from a NYC fire truck. A file cabinet reduced
to an
unidentifiable ball of metal with pieces of file folders
embedded in
it. Pieces from the fuselage of one of the planes,
including part of
a window. Did some horrified passenger spend the last
seconds of
their life looking out that window and seeing their
fate approach them
at 600 miles per hour? The telephone on which Ted Olson
received
calls from his wife who was on one of the hijacked planes,
asking him
to tell her what she could do to stop it. Metal plates
from the
World Trade Center building with the floor numbers on
them and the
inscription, "In case of fire, do not use elevators,
use stairs.'
The Fort Worth Star-Telegram newspaper staff had put
together a video
montage featuring local photos from the day. People
in line at the
blood banks, others stocking up on gas. People at the
airport in
tears. Then, photos from New York. This video was
playing on
monitors in the area where you stood while waiting in
line to enter
the actual exhibit.
There was no dialogue, only music.
I thought the music sounded familiar, and began listening
more
closely.
It was Frank Zappa.
I was watching scenes of horror, death, terror, and
dispair, and I was
hearing "Outrage at Valdez" and "Get
Whitey" providing the sonic
textures.
When I was 12 years old, I heard Frank Zappa's music
for the first
time. It completely changed my perception of music
from that point
forward. Frank's music became very personal to me.
None of my
teenage friends could hear the beauty in "Moggio"
or "Inca Roads" or
"G Spot Tornado". I had no contact with other
FZ fans, and thus began
to feel like I knew the coolest secret in the world.
When I was 27 years old, a bunch of incomprehensible
jackasses killed
3,000 people because an invisible man in the sky told
them to. It
completely changed my perception of life on planet Earth
from that
point forward.
I sat and watched the credits for the video just to
make sure. Yep,
there it was, "Music by Frank Zappa, Outrage at
Valdez and Get Whitey,
from The Yellow Shark, used with permission".
For a few seconds, I
felt that same sense of unreality. What are the chances
that all that
stuff from 9-11-01 REALLY happened, and that a couple
of years later
someone in the town where I happen to live would happen
to make a film
about it featuring the music of Frank Zappa? For a
few painful
moments, I figured that I was right ALL ALONG... I had
imagined the
entire 9-11 scenario, and now I was hallucinating myself
at a museum
watching a photomontage with a Frank Zappa score.
It still doesn't seem real. I literally touched a piece
of one of the
WTC towers today, and it still doesnt seem real.
I felt a strange sort of gratitude that FZ music was
chosen for this
event. I was happy and proud that someone else had
taken his music
seriously enough to use it for such a somber project.
Ronald McDonald
of the neuveau abstruse, indeed.
It was then, of course, that I suddenly realized that
none of that
scene could possibly be real. I was standing in a museum
in Fort
Worth, TX looking at the results of 4 simultanous airplane
hijackings
that killed 3,000 people in less than 2 hours and permanently
changed
the New York skyline? And I was hearing the music of
Frank Zappa
setting the mood of the whole affair? YEAH RIGHT, BUDDY!
GET THEE TO
A HOSPITAL! A brief moment of panic. Reassuring myself
that it was
all real. I think. Maybe. Staring at a chunk of an
American flag,
ripped and burned, recovered from a place called "Fresh
Kills
Landfill."
It really happened, I'm not insane. It really happened,
I'm not
insane. It really happened, I'm not insane. It really
happened, I'm
not insane. It really happened, I'm not insane. It
really happened,
I'm not insane. It really happened, I'm not insane.
It really
happened, I'm not insane. It really happened, I'm not
insane.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Thageus <thageusTRIANGLE@yahoo.com--REMOVEshape!!!!>
Some Dumbass wrote:
>
> I would not have been shocked at all if the next
report had been of
> mushroom clouds over Los Angeles.
>
One can only dream.
...Arizona Bay, and all that...
--
Thageus the Triangular
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Citizensmurf" <citizensmurf@shaw.ca>
Some Dumbass wrote:
> I was doubly freaked out, because I worked with
a bunch of COMPLETE
> IDIOTS. I'm in a total freak-out, and everyone
around me was reacting
> as though they'd just heard that Brad Pitt had
stubbed his toe.
> Somehow, everyone else seemed to think it was no
big deal. I became
> alarmed by their lack of what I considered to be
an appropriate
> reaction to these horrifically surreal events.
You mean the kind of reactions Americans had when their
country dropped
atomic bombs over Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Except some
of them cheered the
deaths of the Japanese. Which was actually more like
the cheering some
Muslims did when the towers went down. In both cases
the innocent victims
happened to be citizens of a country who had enemies
who took action. Using
the term terrorism makes people believe that these actions
were unjustified
acts carried out by madmen. Which is how I view most
of the political
actions taken by the U.S. (and reminds me of a childhood
saying "You can
dish it out, but you can't take it.")
So what I saying is it's all a matter of perspective
and context (don't take
this as being an endorsement of the Globe and Mail).
It's very convienient
for people to justify their own actions, and then condemn
the actions of
others. For me the tragedy of Sept 11 is that a lot
of people chose to
remain ignorant instead of educating themselves.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Anachron" <Nospam@biteme.com>
Citizensmurf" <citizensmurf@shaw.ca> wrote:
>So what I saying is it's all a matter of perspective
and context.
When W calls them "evil dooers" it really
drive me nuts, they call us "The
Great Satan." So what? It's all rhetoric.
This same guy who went AWOL from the guard also was
eager to call them
cowards.
Bill Maher lost his show in the end (I think) because
he said that you can
call them a lot of things but they are not cowards.
To paraphrase he said:
Sitting 300 miles away and lobbing smart bombs at the
enemy is more
"cowardly" than what they have done. ABC bought
Politically Incorrect from
Comedy Central because they wanted his ratings but they
are money whores for
dumping him for what I think is a trivial comment.
ABC management can
rightly be called cowards.
If you have HBO he is back and nastier than ever on
Real Time - He actually
called the catholic priest "child fuckers"
on air. Lay it on 'em Bill!
Here is at least one place in corporate America where
free speech can take
place on TV.
We need to be honest about the Arab position. They
are not angry because
the "resent our freedom" - what a bunch of
shit. Maybe we should discuss
how we supported the Shaw of Iran who was not all the
different from Sadam.
The Saudi royal family are also our bitches and that
is why 15 of the 19
attackers where Saudi nationals. We will never solve
this unless we can be
honest about what is going on.
--
-Anachron
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: IMBJR <imbjr@imbjr.com>
lanegibberish@yahoo.com (IshGibber) wrote:
>Some Dumbass <nodding@water.com> wrote:
>How do you know that it happened? Were you there?
Did you see it? The
>conspiracy could have made it all up in a studio.
Hell, I'm not even
>sure that New York exists. I've never been there.
Could just be a tool
>of the conspiracy.--
>-- Lane
My wife claims she went to NY some years back.
Everytime NY is on TV she says, "Been there."
I say, "Where's you evidence?".
She says she has a number of restuarant menus to prove
it, but I tell
her that she could have had them printed anywhere.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Artemia Salina <y2k@sheayright.com>
Some Dumbass wrote:
> Needless to say, I was completely freaked out.
I fully expected a
> full-scale military invasion by some unknown entity.
I would not have
> been shocked at all if the next report had been
of mushroom clouds
> over Los Angeles.
> Because it all seemed so
> impossibly unreal, and because everyone else at
my workplace seemed to
> be completely nonchalant about the whole affair,
it slowly started to
> occur to me that maybe it WAS just a Cessna, and
I had completely
> imagined the rest of the news reports. Maybe none
of it had happened
> at all. After all, I hadn't really been feeling
like myself lately;
> maybe I had finally lost it, and this was my first
genuine psychotic
> episode.
I'm sorry to say that it did indeed happen. You are
NOT insane. One
plane each into the World Trade Center towers, a plane
into the
Pentagon building, the nuclear explosions in Los Angeles,
the invasion
of Cleveland. Sadly, it's all true. I suppose that the
invasion isn't
the type of thing that warrents a memorial; after all,
for one thing
it was successfully repelled, and for another it was
ONLY Cleveland.
But the nuclear attack on Los Angeles took quite a few
civilian lives,
and so my guess is that once the radiation levels drop
enough for
us to get back in there we'll be seeing news footage
and memorial
tributes about it as well.
Original file name: Frank Zappa music fe#1916F3.txt - converted on Saturday, 25 September 2004, 02:05
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