Good news everybody!

From: El Queso <""the_cheese_23\"@(nospam)yahoo.com>
Date: Thu, Jun 26, 2003

Strom Thurmond is dead. His black heart has finally stopped beating. He
can finally finish decomposing.
Happy, happy day!!!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "nu-monet v5.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>

Except for the 60 years of sperm donations he
made. He had only to squirt out a few more
quarts to break Lester Maddox's record, then
he decided to retire as world champion sperm
donor(*), undefeated.

(Ironically, on his 100th birthday, one of his
daughters announced that she was pregnant,
which produced his first ever grandchild just
a week or two ago.)

(Doubly ironically, the woman who baby-sat the
young Strom just died last year. What the hell
kind of yoghurt do these people eat?)

(*) except, possibly, by Man-o'-War.

--
"HERE LIES NU-MONET.
GOT TRIPLE HIS MONEY BACK."

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com>

yeah and you don't believe that the black ESSENCE has -already-
crawled across the linoleum and found a new host.

Sweet innocent child.

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

Summoning his cosmic powers
and blowing slightly from his toes
the psychic emanations flow
- Syd Barret

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: El Queso <""the_cheese_23\"@(nospam)yahoo.com>

I like to pretend that he was given the stake, the sword, and the fire.
I know you are right though. I saw his new host alraedy. It was his old
security guy's mustache.
Queso

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: zosodada@aol.com (Zosodada)

"Thurmond's racial politics changed over the years as blacks began voting in
large numbers."

-- ABC News Quote

He probably started to pretend to like girls about the time women started
voting, too.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Dr. Rev. Chuck, M.D. P.A." <cdub@_REMOVETHIS_erols.com>

What was he, third in line of succession?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

Ellis Dee <fxtrt22@yahoo.com> wrote:
> "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> wrote:
> ...>"The Dobbshead, on the other
> > hand, is routinely swiped,...We've been able to invoke the trademark
> regarding the
> > Graven Image of "Bob's" Portrait to excellent effect and some $ over
> > the years..."
>
> I thought the Dobbshead was itself lifted from 1950's advertising copy.
>
> Is this (sub)urban legend?

Yes. It was lifted but not from any ad that WE know of. It may have
once been used in an ad but we've never seen such an ad. Sure would
love to.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
PRABOB

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

I AM J'lahn. <jlwn111@att.net> wrote:
> "Ellis Dee" <fxtrt22@yahoo.com> wrote in message
> news:<y5%cb.7080$pP6.136@newsread2.news.atl.earthlink.net>...
> >
> > I thought the Dobbshead was itself lifted from 1950's advertising copy.
> >
> > Is this (sub)urban legend?
>
> That's what Stang and his pals would like you to think. But the REAL
> story came out a few years back.

"A few years back."

Couldn't name that year... or the people pressing the "suit"... because
then somebody would be able to look up the article and find that it
never existed except in J'lahn's tormented little head.

> Not sure what the verdict was (or if
> it ever even went to court). Don't bother asking Stang. They've NEVER
> come clean on this. It's one of the Oldest Lies they tell.

Old J'lahn here on the other hand is famous for his credibility.

> ODDLY ENOUGH - Reuters
>
> J.R. "Bob" Dobbs and Norm Appleton - Separated at Birth?
> Wed Apr 17, 5:44 PM ET
>
> CLEVELAND, OHIO and AUSTIN, TEXAS (Reuters) - It appears that Time
> Magazine's Greatest Fraud of the 20th Century really is just that.
> Only this time, the fraud comes in the form of an ongoing copyright
> violation that sources say "has gone on long enough."
>
> The clean-cut, pipe-smoking J.R. "Bob" Dobbs icon used by the Austin,
> Texas-based Church of the Subgenius to help promote their doomsday
> cult was allegedly inspired by the clean-cut, pipe-smoking Norm
> Appleton from the mid-70's National Lampoon magazine comic strip, "The
> Appletons". Or so say the filers of this week's legal actions in the
> state of New York against "Bob" and his Church.
>
> Reached for comment, sources close to the Church's "Reverend Ivan
> Stang" brushed off the lawsuit. "You think anyone even remembers the
> Appletons? Hello?" they remarked, rebuffing the claims. Church leaders
> have yet to officially respond to the legal actions being directed
> their way.
>
> "The law is the law," said the group of concerned citizens at a news
> conference earlier this week in New York City. They claim that there's
> little room left for bargaining in what appears to be a very tough
> case against the fledgling cult. "Where a party uses the work of
> another without its express written permission, authorization or
> consent, that party violates Section 501 of the United States
> Copyright, Title 17 of the United States Code," insiders to the suit
> noted. "This case is open and shut," they added.
>
> J2 Communications, current owners of the nationallampoon.com website,
> are not affiliated with those bringing the claim. BK Taylor, the
> original creator of the strip, was unavailable for comment.
>
> Retribution appears to be foremost on the mind of the suit's authors.
> "Pulling the plug on the 'Bob/Norm' image now, after nearly 20 years
> of blatant Title 17 violation, is a pale form of justice," sources
> close to the case lament. "Pulling the plug on the Church of the
> Subgenius, now that would be justice!" Apparently, that is their goal.
> Can "Bob" and his minions hold them off? Only time, and what is sure
> to be a lengthy and costly court battle, will tell.
>
> http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=index&cid=757

What a shitty fake! J'lahn, you must be the second most jealous kook
out there. Couldn't you have at least displayed enough imagination to
come up with a NAME for who is pressing this mighty suit? "A group of
concerned citizens." Odd, but Reuters reporters don't *usually* write
like vindictive cranks. Besides which, J.R. "Bob" Dobbs is the Living
Avatar of Slack, and Norm Appleton is a cartoon character. The only
similarity is that they look like squares, smoke a pipe, and grin
insanely. That describes the male models in about a quarter of all the
ads in American magazines from 1945 to 1967. (Some of whom WERE "Bob".)

It's a moot point anyway, but it's interesting to see that J'lahn is
still spending hours and hours on wishful thinking like this.

If only we could put J'lahn and purple together in one room. It'd be
just like "The Three Christs of Ypsilanti," minus one "Christ". What I
would give for a recording of those particular two super-geniuses
arguing about the origin of "Bob."

We can guess that it would be a very REPETITIVE conversation.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Paul E. Jamison" <pauljmsn@infionline.net>

Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
> ...it's interesting to see that J'lahn is
> still spending hours and hours on wishful thinking like this.

Didn't Jelly-Ann say he wasn't going to post here anymore?
He didn't *lie* to us, did he?

Paul E. Jamison

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: pipe_phol_monty@subgenius.T\/ (Pipe Phol Monty)

I believe he DID, now you mention it. that's why I didn't bother to
killfile him.

now you mention it...

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>

Have you ALL suddenly become totally retarded or something?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Artemia Salina <y2k@sheayright.com>

Suddenly??

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
I AM J'lahn. <jlwn111@att.net> wrote:
> > "Ellis Dee" <fxtrt22@yahoo.com> wrote:
> > >
> > > I thought the Dobbshead was itself lifted from 1950's advertising copy.
> > >
> > > Is this (sub)urban legend?
> >
> > That's what Stang and his pals would like you to think. But the REAL
> > story came out a few years back.
>
> "A few years back."
>
> Couldn't name that year... or the people pressing the "suit"... because
> then somebody would be able to look up the article and find that it
> never existed except in J'lahn's tormented little head.
>
> > Not sure what the verdict was (or if
> > it ever even went to court). Don't bother asking Stang. They've NEVER
> > come clean on this. It's one of the Oldest Lies they tell.
>
> Old J'lahn here on the other hand is famous for his credibility.
>
> >
> >
> > ODDLY ENOUGH - Reuters
> >
> > J.R. "Bob" Dobbs and Norm Appleton - Separated at Birth?
> > Wed Apr 17, 5:44 PM ET
> >
> > CLEVELAND, OHIO and AUSTIN, TEXAS (Reuters) - It appears that Time
> > Magazine's Greatest Fraud of the 20th Century really is just that.
> > Only this time, the fraud comes in the form of an ongoing copyright
> > violation that sources say "has gone on long enough."
> >
> > The clean-cut, pipe-smoking J.R. "Bob" Dobbs icon used by the Austin,
> > Texas-based Church of the Subgenius to help promote their doomsday
> > cult was allegedly inspired by the clean-cut, pipe-smoking Norm
> > Appleton from the mid-70's National Lampoon magazine comic strip, "The
> > Appletons". Or so say the filers of this week's legal actions in the
> > state of New York against "Bob" and his Church.
> >
> > Reached for comment, sources close to the Church's "Reverend Ivan
> > Stang" brushed off the lawsuit. "You think anyone even remembers the
> > Appletons? Hello?" they remarked, rebuffing the claims. Church leaders
> > have yet to officially respond to the legal actions being directed
> > their way.
> >
> > "The law is the law," said the group of concerned citizens at a news
> > conference earlier this week in New York City. They claim that there's
> > little room left for bargaining in what appears to be a very tough
> > case against the fledgling cult. "Where a party uses the work of
> > another without its express written permission, authorization or
> > consent, that party violates Section 501 of the United States
> > Copyright, Title 17 of the United States Code," insiders to the suit
> > noted. "This case is open and shut," they added.
> >
> > J2 Communications, current owners of the nationallampoon.com website,
> > are not affiliated with those bringing the claim. BK Taylor, the
> > original creator of the strip, was unavailable for comment.
> >
> > Retribution appears to be foremost on the mind of the suit's authors.
> > "Pulling the plug on the 'Bob/Norm' image now, after nearly 20 years
> > of blatant Title 17 violation, is a pale form of justice," sources
> > close to the case lament. "Pulling the plug on the Church of the
> > Subgenius, now that would be justice!" Apparently, that is their goal.
> > Can "Bob" and his minions hold them off? Only time, and what is sure
> > to be a lengthy and costly court battle, will tell.
> >
> > http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=index&cid=757
>
> What a shitty fake!

On the contrary, it was one of the best-written spoof I've seen here
in years. Better than anything YOU'VE posted here in I don't know how
long. Are you totally retarded and brain-dead? Get over your
faggy-assed reactionary snit, you pathetic worm and wake up to the
fact that the guy GOT OVER IT, APOLOGIZED, and is now making more
intelligent and better-written contributions than almost anybody else
in the group. YOU REACTIONARY FUCKHEAD JACKASS, WAKE UP! If ANYBODY
ELSE had written it, me for example, you'd have put it on the website
in a hong kong minute. If I had even one smidge of respect left for
you, the STUPID STUPID response which I deleted would have stubbed it
out. STOP BEING SO FUCKING IDIOTIC!!!! YOU IDIOT. Save you "jealous
kook" bullshit for people who ARE jealous kooks. I'm beginning to
think Jaylon is more of a subgenius than you are and the JEALOUS KOOK
IS YOU. If you were here right now I'd kick your ass CLEAN OFF. And
don't even bother to respond to this before you remember HOW OFTEN YOU
HAVE REALIZED HOW RIGHT I WAS AND HOW STUPID YOU WERE.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: jlwn42@att.net (Horror Show)

"Blackout" <blackout@mrsnoidsubgenius.com> wrote:
> you know what's even better than 111?
>
> 222.
>
> it's TWICE as good.
>

From http://jlwn777.home.att.net/index111.html

In the summer of 1980, I worked at the local newspaper delivering
papers to people who didn't get their papers and carriers that were
shorted. I spent a good deal of time in the car and found that I began
to see 111 imbedded in the numbers on the odometer and tripometer at
least once a day. The first few times it happened, it didn't seem odd,
but the problem was that it kept happening. Somehow I would look at
the mileage indicators just as they had turned to 111.

I then got a couple of addresses to deliver papers to that had 111 as
a part of the address. Now I was starting to get a little spooked. At
this point, the experience I was having was very private - I hadn't
told a soul. I approached a woman at the newspaper who was into
numerology and astrology and asked her what it meant if someone kept
seeing the same number all the time. She said "I don't know, but I
keep seeing 222 all the time and it's really starting to piss me off
!!!"

I thought I was dreaming. How could she be saying this? I hadn't told
anyone about my experience until that moment. I said "You're not gonna
believe this, but I was going to ask you why I keep seeing 111 all the
time!" We were both a little scared by this. The probability that we
would both be having such a similar strange experience seemed very
low. At that moment, I began to think that I was experiencing
something paranormal - something that could not be explained with
conventional scientific tools.

<snip>

You were saying?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Paul E. Jamison" <pauljmsn@infionline.net>

Blackout wrote:
> "Reverend DJ Epoch" wrote
>
> > You licking those magic frogs again Mr. Numerologist?
>
> you know what's even better than 111?
>
> 222.
>
> it's TWICE as good.
>

I always thought Karen Valentine was sexy in a girl-next-door way.
Never watched "Room 222", though. Our local ABC affiliate
had crappy reception.

> P.S.. it really sucks that we use that really limiting base 10 system.

Remember on an old spy-gadget toy named "Sixfinger"? It
looked like an extra finger and it was a gun, real pen and
could do other stuff. They don't make kid's toys like that
anymore.

Paul E. Jamison

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>

Reverend DJ Epoch wrote:
> jlwn111@att.net (I AM J'lahn.) wrote in
> news:1e894c68.0309262240.6e8ac30f@posting.google.com:
>
> > http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=index&cid=757
>
> Clicked the link.. ain't no such article anywhere on that page.

Duuuhhh... THAT'S WHAT MAKES IT A JOKE, DUMBASS.


Up one level
Back to document index

Original file name: Good news everybody!.txt - converted on Saturday, 25 September 2004, 02:05

This page was created using TextToHTML. TextToHTML is a free software for Macintosh and is (c) 1995,1996 by Kris Coppieters