From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Date: Thu, Mar 4, 2004
To commemorate ARISE!'s rebirth on DVD, we are immediately
shooting
ourselves in the foot and posting it for free on
alt.binaries.monter-movies.
We are also posting a near-DVD quality MPEG movie (SVCD
compliant) of
the LONDON 2003 DEVIVAL short film, edited by Rev. ERRor
-- to
commemorate:
THE 2004 LONDON DEVIVAL
which is being held THIS WEEKEND, Saturday March 6!
(DETAILS on LONDON DEVIVAL below)
IMPORTANT NOTE: it's not alt.binaries.monster-movies.
It's
alt.binaries.MONTER-movies. No S in MONTER.
We decided to take over that old, abandoned movies newsgroup
because it
was a stash for bulldada movies and badfilm in the first
place, and
because that retarded, mistaken spelling of "monster"
is a CLEAR
MESSAGE FROM "BOB" that this is the right
newsgroup for us to use.
We're not using our usual stash for pictures and sound,
alt.binaries.slack, because there are so many little
wheeny whiny
crybaby pussy-wussy boys on alt.binaries.slack who HATE
movies to be
posted there -- presumably they still don't know or
want to know how to
download a free newsreader program from downloads.com.
I'm assuming
they still use browsers like Netscape or Explorer to
view Usenet
newsgroups. (No offense to the self-blinding, pig-ignorant
sissy-wissy
SubGenius boys who can't handle the same technology
that TINY HUMAN
INFANTS master easily. I really don't mean to put anybody
down.)
Of course, if you're not on some kind of fast DSL or
cable Internet
connection, these movies would take you a couple of
days each to
download, so for you this is all moot. And that's another
reason we
post the giant files outside of alt.binaries.slack.
We DO have mercy on
those who can but mewl and puke. And that's also one
reason why ARISE
is available on VHS or DVD (or VCD!) from
http://subgenius.com/scatalog/video.htm
The version of ARISE! that I posted is a DivX avi movie,
about 580 mb
in size (fits on a CDR), 88 minutes long including the
X-Day ad at the
end and the Church Commercial as a "preview."
All the most common
movie players for Windows or Mac will play it. The player
might have to
automatically fetch a codec from www.divx.com.
There are LONG and DETAILED HOW-TO INSTRUCTIONS for
movie-newsgroup
newbies in the "NFO" text file that I posted
with ARISE. (You'll have
to scroll down past the ASCII Dobbsheads and movie description.)
ARISE! http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0134291/
I also posted my old claymation porno short, "Reproduction
Cycle Among
Lower Life Forms Under the Rocks of Mars," a classroom
documentary from
the future which shows what the Spirit and Opportunity
landers are
filming RIGHT NOW with their electron micro-cameras,
but not sharing
with us. This is a 12 minute film, turned into a VCD-compliant
MPEG.
(It's also Part One of the feature-length compilation,
"PRE-DOBBS
STANGFILMS," which is also on DVD.)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0078154/
More about the London Devival:
Sat. May 6
7PM - 11PM
@ The Foundry, 84 Great Eastern St,London,Ec1
FREE ENTRY!!! ..... nearest TUBE is Old Street
Featuring Hellfire Preachin' and Dubious Antics from
Real SubGenius®
Ministers:
Pope David Lee Black ... Pope Phil Monty ... Reverend
ErRoR ... Espira
... Rev.Priest ... Contradiction
also .... LEEVIL [live] ... helmeted penis scratching
underdog anti
music
KARAOKE DOMININATRIXES .... choose your tune and bend
over!!
Mass-Cerimonial spankings to the sound of 'The Final
Countdown'
plus ... all the chicken, ewok and badger you can eat!!!!!!!!
for more info contact..... espira@lakofbob.com
http://www.lakofbob.com
http://www.foundry.tv
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>
Chip Salzenberg <chip@pobox.com> wrote:
> According to stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com:
> >To commemorate ARISE!'s rebirth on DVD, we
are immediately shooting
> >ourselves in the foot and posting it for free
on alt.binaries.monter-movies.
>
> PRABOB! I can now play ARISE! on my laptop wherever
I go, even without using
> my legally purchased DVD in my loud and battery-draining
DVD drive!
>
> Muchas gracias, Señor Stang.
At the EXACT MINUTE that you posted this, your new "HAND-LABELED"
Memorex brand copy was duping!
ORDINARY COINCIDENCE?? Or, GARDEN-VARIETY SYNCHRONICITY?!?
Anyway, now you'll have a version for each possible
player. I still
have some "skeleton-fuckers" if you want to
complete your collection.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "nu-monet v6.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>
But what is going on from here?
I've got a ton of Slackful Bulldada to post,
but it's got to be intersperced with Church
Infoganda, or all is for naught.
Who else will post SubGenius stuff to monter?
alt.binaries.monter-movies
that is?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>
Well here's my rough plan. I was gonna post a bunch
of shorts in
VCD-mpeg form mostly -- DAY OF THE SUBGENIUS (that British
rendition of
The Brag by Bolex Bros.).... Codini's ADVENTURES IN
TEEN LIFE and "Get
Down with My Sickness," stuff like that.
"Something New to Die For," Sverre Kristensen's
30-minute insane
documentary about the Church.
Onan's Confession.
etc.
Then I also have the 5 X-Day Featurette, the 20-minute
cut, which would
make a nice SVCD sized thing.
Basically all the stuff that's in our DVD catalog has
long been done up
in the various Net formats and some are even RARred
already, awaiting
this Great Day of Evacuation and Release.
I figure if we keep up the INTERSPERSION, we will win
more souls. They
might fear or hate "the Bobs" (as humans sometimes
call us) at first,
but as they see from the non-"Bob" posts like
yours that our grasp of
Bulldada, and our collections, are second to none, they
will realize
eventually that "Bob" IS IN FACT the ENERGY
SOURCE for ALL of the great
badfilm, from the Lumiere bros. to my close personal
friend, Rudy Ray
Moore.
I have a whole lot of half-edited SubGenius material
in the hamper. My
drives are crammed with animations made from a.b.s.
art and other
things, set to music, and all the good 6XDay footage,
and I'm more
inclined to tear into that stuff knowing there's some
immediate place
to pester people with it.
Those boys from up north that did the excellent "SubGenius
TV"
episodes, 3 so far, have finally given me a copy of
it on DV, but only
on the condition that I not do what I'm doing with all
my own films,
that is, bootleg them. They already bootlegged 'em themselves
on a.b.s.
but they were SHITTY bootlegs, little no-account 10-frame-a-second
jpeggy-looking HINTS of their actual grandeur (as projected
on Dr.
Dark's Drive-In at Brushwood.) So I hope they will
make those into
decent VCDs or whatnot.
What I have that's really special, and precious, and
extensive, are
PRANK CALLS, and I mean not just the classics, in CHERRY
condition, but
acres of horrendously evil and hilarious ones that YOU
HAVE NOT HEARD.
(I used to get a lot of this stuff from the top collector
that I ever
knew of, the original Lou Minatti (not the same as the
Lou Minatti in
SubGeniusland now).
And there are the 6 or 700 Hours of Slack that were
done before we went
all digital and Internetty. I have been thinking about
those tapes in
my closet. Those 700 tapes. (It's a big closet -- it
also has all the
tapes that went into THOSE tapes.)
But making new shit is ever so much more fun! Just ain't
enough time in
the day is the problem.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>
nu-monet v6.0 <nothing@succeeds.com> wrote:
> Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
> >
> > But making new shit is ever so much more fun!
> > Just ain't enough time in the day is the problem.
> >
>
> Thass my point! You need to subcontract the
> posting of the old stuff. There must be a dozen
> high-bandwidth buddies hanging around who could
> post something you give them.
?? What other SubGenii besides you and me have been posting movies?
> A CD takes about 10 minutes to burn at 8x, but
it
> can take 3/4ths of a day to prep and post. Save
> yer precious bodily fluids for the really senseless
> stuff!
>
> Now I *know* high bandwidth SubGenii will read
this,
> and all they gotta do is say "Yo!", and
get a disk
> or twenty in the mail.
Boy, are you optimistic.
They might say YO and get the disk, but that's the last
I'll ever hear
or see of them. And not because they're ripping me off
for a disk.
Because they're SubGeniuses and they're 99% TALK. They'll
INTEND to
help, but then when they see it isn't THAT MUCH FUN
AFTER ALL, well,
that's when the Church's First and Only Law kicks in.
I'll get 3 offers, but they'll all be from people who
have never posted
or even copied a movie before, much less converted and
prepped one.
They'll tell me they'll do anything I ask, if I just
real quick DROP
EVERYTHING, STOP and teach them everything it took me
the last 10 years
to learn.
I've been at this for a while, and I'm just going by
what happens when
I ask for SubSITE help. They'll rant or make pictures
or music, but try
getting one of them to HELP WITH THE DISTRIBUTION OF
ANOTHER
SUBGENIUS'S WORK. Hell, try getting one of them to help
you hang up a
Dobbshead at a devival. They'd have been happy to help...
if they'd
gotten there earlier... they'd have helped pack up,
but it was Last
Call... PHOOEY! LAZY SubGeniuses!
OR, contrariwise, they'll BUST ASS, but it'll be their
VERY FIRST
ATTEMPT at whatever it is they're trying to do, and
while they
themselves get some PRACTICE on the SubGenius project,
it never
actually gets finished in any way that we can use without
me completely
re-doing it myself.
I shouldn't gripe too much because over the years there
have been
helpers who helped a LOT. St. David Bachner comes to
mind! The online
STARK FIST text last year was prepped somewhat by Jarto,
Huey and
Temujin, and Phloighd. (I have never gotten any indication
that anyone
actually READS the online Stark Fist, except when my
stalkers quote
things they found there about themselves.) Rev. Cobblestone
has
prettied up some of the Art Mines front pages. Rev ERRor
redid the
whole Sound Bites downloads area, which was a HUGE effort
that was
never mentioned by anyone but him and me. The whole
reason I'm doing
any video at all is because the Gription Clench GAVE
me a DVD recorder
and others GAVE me hard drives. Back in the day, important
sections of
SubSITE like the Pamphlet were done by Rev. Noah. Various
people tried
their hands at individual SubSITE pages last year --
but I ended up
having to redo all the LINKS. (Websites don't work the
same off Unix
servers as they do off your home PC, but that's the
kind of thing you
only learn AFTER doing a real website.)
This really is a "DO IT YOURSELF" religion,
and that's why I don't
expect much help any more on practical things and why
things progress
somewhat slowly even though the CREATIVE flow of art,
music and text
never stops. St. David Bachner, Jesus and Magdalen are
still working
behind the scenes, and I am. Otherwise... it's all fine
artists and
brilliant musicians. Not one decent janitor or delivery
boy in the
crowd. SEVEN DIFFERENT PEOPLE have, over the years,
told me they were
fixing the Art Mines 12 links, and 5 have "taken
on" the web links
pages at SubSITE. And I sent them what they needed.
And yet those pages
still look just like they did in 1996 when I first put
them up! (And
those are the SIMPLE ones that ANYBODY could do!)
There are 700 Hours of Slack that could be digitized
by anyone capable
of copying a cassette into a computer and then pushing
the "convert to
MP3" button. Four people have said they'll take
that on... SOON. (Years
ago.) At this point I am outright DISTRUSTFUL of people
who suddenly
appear out of the blue offering to "help."
What it usually means is
they expect to be the Next Famous Preacher or something,
just for the
noble act of OFFERING to help.
I'll say it again -- the best way to help the SubGenius
Church is with
MONEY... BY BUYING THINGS FROM US. That's actually the
VERY VERY BEST
THING that ANYONE can do. It's in fact the ONLY thing
that keeps
SubSITE and the PO Box open. TOIL we have aplenty. It's
the MONEY that
the keeps the machines running.
PROOF: Rev. Chris Li laid out a whole paper Stark Fist
ages ago, but WE
HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO ACCUMULATE THE $ TO MAIL IT. (Printing
5,000
copies isn't that hard, but MAILING them costs THOUSANDS
-- which
amount we never seem to NOT BE IN DEBT.)
The very best SubGenius CD has still not sold ONE COPY.
The one guy I
gave a freebie to BECAME A SCI FI WRITER after hearing
it, he was so
inspired. If we had more money, I could PAY somebody
to do all the shit
like putting the labels on the CDs, dubbing the copies,
doing back-ups,
running to the P.O. etc. etc.
While I'm bitching, another thing I've learned is that
if you put
Connie on a product, IT WILL NEVER EVER BE BOUGHT. "We
Connietites
aren't being serviced! Make more Connie stuff!"
Yeah right. I have a
fucking warehouse full of Connie stuff. Connie is the
KISS OF DEATH in
more ways than one. Another popular misconception shot
down -- that
anybody but IMBJR and Heart Ignition gives a shit about
Connie.
TALK TALK TALK.
YOU, Nu-Monet, are the EXCEPTION. You write ACTUALLY
FUNNY and
INTERESTING stuff constantly and post it. You SPENT
BIG MONEY on the
Church at a time when it probably kept us from going
UNDER. You give
back to the binaries groups majorly. So I'm not bitching
at YOU by ANY
means! Or any of the few who HAVE helped on the NOT-FUN
stuff,
ESPECIALLY BACHNER, JESUS AND MAGDALEN. I'm just bitching
in general
because most people are Rewardians, and I'm an Emergentile,
and never
the twain shall meet. Except for SEX.
So your suggestion that I ask for non-artistic, technical
help prompts
bittersweet emotions in me, as you can see.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "nu-monet v6.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>
Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
> ...YOU, Nu-Monet, are the EXCEPTION...
Oh, kisses. I'll have to post a SHITLOAD of
other binaries to monter.
Bulldada so Slackful, they'll PUKE.
Or at least learn how to use WinRAR and
FSRaid.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>
And they WILL thank us for it.
I was thinking about all the nifty shit I have on VHS...
and how much
hard drive space that stuff takes up when you go to
make it
Internettable. And the TIME. It's all I can do to keep
the SubGenius
stuff spewing so I'm gonna have to leave the Bulldada
by The Others in
your capable hands.
Wei and I were admiring that short you posted, BALANCE.
I had that on a
VHS collection (probably something Puzzling Evidence
sent me, and see,
that's a whole 'nother can of worms, the endless Puzzling
Evidence
half-SubGenius half-Not TAPES. (And all the PAPER ART
and DOCs I could
be scanning and posting,.... AND....)... anyway that
is a KILLER
short. As a stop motion animator I am ASTOUNDED every
time I see it.
Fucking unbelievable sense of... balance... and timing.
Man, nobody
animates puppets like those Rooskies and Czecks and
Poles and
Balkanites.
Yes, BALANCE is one I have seen while tripping more
than once. It
brings to mind the vast collection of trip-worthy, "baked
potato"
films... well, those are all in the can. A lot of the
SubGenius stuff
is NOT in the can yet though so I got my editing work
cut out for me.
Soon as I get a couple of HoSlacks done and the web
stuff. The TON of
web stuff.
To give you an example... last night I decided I was
DONE with the
Detroit stuff. I made special DVDs for MAN and the Aminos,
and the 29
minute version, and the whole-show version. They're
made from about 20
gigs of original DV transfer that I can now erase...
having made DVD
back-ups of a) the original edited DV b) all the DV
titles and extras
c) the Final Cut Pro "edit script" d) the
Rm version e) the VCD mpeg,
and the VCD; the SVCD mpegs, and SVCDs, the MP4s which
are made for the
coming time when MP4 is normal, the avi, the little
mov, etc etc.
Altogether, that one set of home movies from that one
devival was
eating up about 75 GIGABYTES.
Almost all of it is now backed up and erased from the
drives. But it
was taking up all that space for over a month.
NEXT: 6XD? Starwood? The music videos I made from the
a.b.s. art? All
that shit's in the hopper... BUT I HAVEN'T EVEN MADE
THE BOX ART FOR
THE 10 NEW CD and CDR and DVD products that I FINISHED!
And I can't
make the AD until I've made the BOX ART!!
(There's TONS of art, I just have to make all the WORDS
that go on the
boxes!-- and make them FIT THE ART, see.)
It's enough to make a feller want to quit typing and
triping, and git
to WORK! After a quick "pit" stop at alt.binaries.no-spam.plumpers,
naturally.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: chip@pobox.com (Chip Salzenberg)
According to stang@subgeniusNOSPUMMY.com:
>At the EXACT MINUTE that you posted this, your new
"HAND-LABELED"
>Memorex brand copy was duping!
>
>ORDINARY COINCIDENCE?? Or, GARDEN-VARIETY SYNCHRONICITY?!?
I won't turn on the chronosynchlastic infindibulum until
2007, but
you know how those things are.
>Anyway, now you'll have a version for each possible
player. I still
>have some "skeleton-fuckers" if you want
to complete your collection.
Yes, thanks, toss one in; I think I'd like to stress
my DVD hardware,
and possibly give you a data point about whether your
player is more
or less picky than most.
--
Chip Salzenberg - a.k.a. - <chip@pobox.com>
"It furthers one to have somewhere to
go."
Original file name: ARISE! now showing i#192F08.txt - converted on Saturday, 25 September 2004, 02:05
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