Ultrasick Flashtoons from Southpark Arteests

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>
Date: Mon, Apr 26, 2004

My aplogies if this is old news. But I just watched these two flash
cartoons and about lakked to bust a gut and blow my o-ring.

From Pope Flores:

Subject: South Park Stuff I can't list
Date: Mon, 26 Apr 2004

South Park craziness that is UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES OK FOR WORK.
Unless of course you can get away with it. No way I could put this on
ALL NIGHT SURF
<http://allnightsurfing.blogdrive.com/>http://allnightsurfing.blogdrive.
com/
- if you are offended by the humor of SOUTH PARK you will want to skip
this altogether!

Watch them and judge for yourself. Apparently Shockwave commissioned
Matt and Trey to make a couple short movies for them, and the South
Park boys said the flash movies would be really offensive. Shockwave
still wanted them, that is, until they saw the final product.

Wish these guys would do something for HBO........

<http://www.atypical.net/mm/princess/Princess-Episode_01.swf>http://www.
atypical.net/mm/princess/Princess-Episode_01.swf

<http://www.atypical.net/mm/princess/Princess-Episode_02.swf>http://www.
atypical.net/mm/princess/Princess-Episode_02.swf

Order Bettie Page Uncensored- The First Pin Up Girl banned by the
courts!
<http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&Item=4184690206>http://cg
i.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&Item=4184690206
The latest on music, movies and wrestling mayhem:
<http://popculture.blogdrive.com>http://popculture.blogdrive.com
Find out about THE WRECKING CREW show, THE ACID TEST 1966 here:
<http://thewreckingcrew.blogdrive.com>http://thewreckingcrew.blogdrive.c
om
Read about the NEW Hanson here:
<http://hanson.blogdrive.com>http://hanson.blogdrive.com
Visit All Night Surfing for the wildest, oddest and weirdest spots on
the web!
<http://allnightsurfing.blogdrive.com/>http://allnightsurfing.blogdrive.
com/
Visit the Psychotronic Film Society for the wildest info on drive in
movies!
<http://www.psychotronic.info>http://www.psychotronic.info
For the latest on dealing with terror attacks visit:
<http://civildefense.blogdrive.com>http://civildefense.blogdrive.com

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
PRABOB

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)

"Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com> wrote:
> My aplogies if this is old news. But I just watched these two flash
> cartoons and about lakked to bust a gut and blow my o-ring.
> Wish these guys would do something for HBO........
> <http://www.atypical.net/mm/princess/Princess-Episode_01.swf>http://www.
> atypical.net/mm/princess/Princess-Episode_01.swf
> <http://www.atypical.net/mm/princess/Princess-Episode_02.swf>http://www.
> atypical.net/mm/princess/Princess-Episode_02.swf

I told my girlfriend about this last night, so she dialed it up while
I watched and she 'bout PEED. Its made the rounds for a while, but its
really high on the list if you want to make someone fall over and kick
feebly like a big roach while they gasp with laffter.
PRIIINCEEEEESS!!!!!! She's one big fluffy bundle of love, ah tell ya
whut.

HellPope Huey
I burst into flames and I VOTE.
Helluva thing, huh?

Unbearably lovely music is heard as the curtain rises,
and we see the woods on a summer afternoon.
A fawn dances on and nibbles slowly at some leaves.
He drifts lazily through the soft foliage.
Soon he starts coughing and drops dead.
- Woody Allen, "Without Feathers"

"I'm teaching her to proselytize."
"She's learning to turn tricks?"
- "The Oblongs"

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: KRONOS <null@void.com>

I'm still chuckling over these, especially everytime I think of the "Coroner"

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>

nu-monet v6.0 <nothing@succeeds.com> wrote:
> Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
> >
>
> Faked me out with that "Wrecking Crew" bit. I
> was hoping it was the Dean Martin Matt Helm movie
> that I've been searching for, along with "The
> Ambushers."

Huh?!? Guess there was a link I missed in what I forwarded.

> BTW, I hope to soon post "Greaser's Palace" on
> monter, and I want you to encourage everyone to
> watch this REQUIRED bulldada. I know it can be
> PAINFUL to watch, the first time, but it contains
> SO MANY CHURCH TRUTHS that it should be shown at
> EVERY, SINGLE Devival or X-Day event, everywhere.

I'm all for that. I've been quoting that movie for years. "I CAN CRAWL
AGAIN!" is the most-ripped off line, as far as my stealing goes.

And this director is the daddy of Robert Downey Jr., right?

I have Greaser's Palace on Beta... and it seems all my old Beta tapes
are so peppered with drop-outs it just ain't worth copying them.

Princess Wei and I have been enjoying the hell out of First Men in the
Moon. She was not familiar with this classic H.G. and I hadn't seen it
since the 70s probably. Lionel Jeffries really did a kick-ass job as
Cavor. It's unusual for a Schneer-Harryhausen picture because the big
effects don't even start until halfway through the movie -- it's all
CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT til then! Incredible! And much better than I
remembered it, which is unusual. Later movies like Valley of Gwangi and
Clash of the Titans kinda bummed me a bit on Harryhausen. I once
witnessed a fan ask Schneer and Harryhausen, outright, at a press thing
for Eye of the Tiger, "Why do you guys have such great action and
effects and music, and then ruin it with these shitty-ass actors like
John Wayne's son, and these hokey scripts?" The producer and arteest
were flabbergasted. Nobody had ever spoken that awful truth to their
faces, it seemed!

The next movie they did was Clash of the Titans -- with SIR LAURENCE
OLIVIER!! So nobody could accuse them of using shit-ass actors, EVER
AGAIN!!

I probably owe part of my LIFE to Harryhausen so I shouldn't bitch.
But. You should have heard him at this one con trying to say that
Marcel Delgado's dinosaurs in the 1925 Lost World were BETTER than the
dinosaurs in Jurassic Park, because "... those were hand-made, by an
artist, and anybody can push buttons on a computer." It was
heartbreaking to hear my hero sound like such a STUPID OLD FART. As if
the computers run themselves. Maybe next year.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
> Princess Wei and I have been enjoying the hell out of First Men in the
> Moon. She was not familiar with this classic H.G. and I hadn't seen it
> since the 70s probably. Lionel Jeffries really did a kick-ass job as
> Cavor. It's unusual for a Schneer-Harryhausen picture because the big
> effects don't even start until halfway through the movie -- it's all
> CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT til then! Incredible! And much better than I
> remembered it, which is unusual.

That is a very pleasant and enjoyable one. The Gold Key comic of the
movie played an important part in my childhood, that and seeing part of
the movie for the very first time at the place we always stopped for pie
on the far side of Monarch Pass. I especially like the CATERPILLAR
BONES. And when that guy is up by the ceiling on the floating chair,
you see THE ROPE going through a BIG OLD EYE BOLT.

I'm making Mrs. Nenslo watch cave man movies with me. We saw One
Million B.C. and Quest For Fire. Clan of the Cave Bear will be the next
one in a week or so, and is sure to have the same basic plot. I have to
say they really did try harder on Quest for Fire - nice work by Anthony
Burgess and Desmond Morris on the verbal and gestural languages. Then I
will have to go beyond the confines of the public library and actually
rent When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth, and Caveman with its amazing Ogden
Whitney dinosaurs. And no, I do not need suggestions about When Women
Had Tails etc. I know every caveman movie already. Just watch out for
Iceman and Skullduggery - and not in a good way either.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Joe Cosby <http://joecosby.com/code/mail.pl>

nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com> wrote:

Well after you get to the end of your caveman movie streak, go to a
live football game, and just let your imagination take over.

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.com/
My friend Sam has one leg. I went to his house. I couldn't go up the stairs.
-- Steven Wright

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>

nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com> wrote:
> That is a very pleasant and enjoyable one. The Gold Key comic of the
> movie played an important part in my childhood, that and seeing part of
> the movie for the very first time at the place we always stopped for pie
> on the far side of Monarch Pass. I especially like the CATERPILLAR
> BONES. And when that guy is up by the ceiling on the floating chair,
> you see THE ROPE going through a BIG OLD EYE BOLT.

I derived great joy from pointing those very things out to Princess Wei!

I suppose a caterpillar the size of a Blue Whale might need a skeleton,
even with the lower gravity on the moon. What I found myself wondering
was, what happens to these creatures after the larval stage? Does it
become some kind of wingless butterfly? Do the bones metamorphose onto
an exoskeleton? Do Moon Cows give "milk"?

You mentioned the Gold Key comic of the movie. I remember that too. Not
one I kept, damn it. Then there's the Classic Illustrated, which gave
things a completely different look. The moon cows in that comic were
more like what Wells described. But hey, compared to the way they fuck
up classic novels nowadays when they make movies of them, I ain't
complaining about no Harryhausen/Schneer nor no George Pal. The 2001
version of The Time Machine must be the ultimate example of castrating
a classic sf story.

> I'm making Mrs. Nenslo watch cave man movies with me. We saw One
> Million B.C. and Quest For Fire. Clan of the Cave Bear will be the next
> one in a week or so, and is sure to have the same basic plot. I have to
> say they really did try harder on Quest for Fire - nice work by Anthony
> Burgess and Desmond Morris on the verbal and gestural languages. Then I
> will have to go beyond the confines of the public library and actually
> rent When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth, and Caveman with its amazing Ogden
> Whitney dinosaurs. And no, I do not need suggestions about When Women
> Had Tails etc. I know every caveman movie already. Just watch out for
> Iceman and Skullduggery - and not in a good way either.

You'll find that When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth has a caveman language
that's consistent and simple enough that by the end of the movie, you
can speak it fluently. It's obvious that this is the caveman language
which preceeded the Romance languages.

Clan of the Cave Bear... I dunno... I just don't know... I haven't seen
it but after skimming the novel while trapped in a hotel somewhere, I
don't know if I would put that anywhere near the same category as Quest
for Fire or Missing Link. More like Bridges of Madison County.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "nu-monet v6.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>

If anything, go for the X-rated versions first.

"Clan of the Pubic Hair"

"Quest for Anal Fire"

"1,000,000 B.C. (Bodacious Cavegirls)"

--
Herring communicate with each other
via a high-pitched, "raspberry"-like
sound emitted from their anuses.
These noises are not produced by
digestive gases.
-- from 'The New Scientist'

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
> I suppose a caterpillar the size of a Blue Whale might need a skeleton,
> even with the lower gravity on the moon. What I found myself wondering
> was, what happens to these creatures after the larval stage? Does it
> become some kind of wingless butterfly? Do the bones metamorphose onto
> an exoskeleton? Do Moon Cows give "milk"?

I believe that the Moon Cows secrete large drops of syrupy fluid, and it
is the act of stimulating and collecting that secretion which arrests
pupation and causes them to grow much larger than their normal size. I
also believe that Caterpillar bones are more like chitinous plates which
simply move outward to the surface.

> You'll find that When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth has a caveman language
> that's consistent and simple enough that by the end of the movie, you
> can speak it fluently. It's obvious that this is the caveman language
> which preceeded the Romance languages.

There was a free pamphlet of the vocabulary which was distributed at the
original release of the film.

> Clan of the Cave Bear... I dunno... I just don't know... I haven't seen
> it but after skimming the novel while trapped in a hotel somewhere, I
> don't know if I would put that anywhere near the same category as Quest
> for Fire or Missing Link. More like Bridges of Madison County.

That's what I figure. Like the cover really ought to be a painting of
the beautiful blonde cave girl running off into the moonlit forest
looking back over her shoulder at the glimmer of firelight from the
distant cave mouth like a baleful orange eye. Crosscultural intertribal
romance is pretty much what a caveman movie is. A "realistic" caveman
movie would be about the most boring thing you could think of.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)

nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com> wrote:
> I believe that the Moon Cows secrete large drops of syrupy fluid, and it
> is the act of stimulating and collecting that secretion which arrests
> pupation and causes them to grow much larger than their normal size. I
> also believe that Caterpillar bones are more like chitinous plates which
> simply move outward to the surface.

Sure sounds like Slurm to me. Is that fluid sweet? Its also pertinent
here, in that many SubGs have arrested pupation and spend their adult
years as great white sacs of sinister goo, typing away on Abusenet.
I've seen a few dance at Devivals, which is disgusting, but better
than being 100% sedentary or Irish. Thank Dobbs there are a few
redeeming hybrids. Mmm, Slurm....

HellPope Huey
One man, one vote, one rocket pack,
one 9mm Glock, one hookah and a pony

I never vote for anyone; I always vote against.
- W.C. Fields

If life were fair,
Dan Quayle would be making a living asking
"Do you want fries with that?"
- John Cleese

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "nu-monet v6.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>

nenslo wrote:
> ...And no, I do not need suggestions about When Women
> Had Tails etc. I know every caveman movie already.
> Just watch out for Iceman and Skullduggery - and not
> in a good way either.

Just curious, does this include the "frozen in ice and
reanimated in modern times" genre?

If so, I would like to suggest "Encino Man", but only
because I hate you. Really, really hate you.

--
"At the sound of the beep you will forget
the first part of this message <beep>."

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)

nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com> wrote:
> I'm making Mrs. Nenslo watch cave man movies with me.

I'm sure that's not the ONLY filthy thing you make her do with you.
What's next, FOLK MUSIC?
You bastard, you sicken me.

HellPope Huey
So round, so firm, so fully cracked

"Therapy is an expensive form of whining."
- "Joan of Arcadia"

"If only one gets out, its a victory."
- "Von Ryan's Express"

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Paul E. Jamison" <pauljmsn@infionline.net>

Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
> I probably owe part of my LIFE to Harryhausen so I shouldn't bitch.
> But. You should have heard him at this one con trying to say that
> Marcel Delgado's dinosaurs in the 1925 Lost World were BETTER than the
> dinosaurs in Jurassic Park, because "... those were hand-made, by an
> artist, and anybody can push buttons on a computer." It was
> heartbreaking to hear my hero sound like such a STUPID OLD FART. As if
> the computers run themselves. Maybe next year.

Stang, if you ever get the chance, watch the 1961 film of Jules Verne's
"Mysterious Island". I first came across the Gold Key comic, which I
enjoyed immensely as a wee lad, then eventually saw the flick on TV.
When I sat down to read the original book it was a big disappointment.
Jules Verne didn't have giant animals in it! The movie had a giant
crab, a giant bird chick, and a giant bee - courtesy of one Ray
Harryhausen. The movie also had wimmins. That's one thing you
don't find much in Verne's novels; the big exception is the Indian
princess in "Around the World in 80 Days". But Hollywood always
has messed with Verne's stuff when they adapted it. Most of the
Verne movies I've watched (except for "20,000 Leagues Under the
Sea"; it was Disney's first live-action film and they probably didn't
know any better) have a good-looking woman or two
shoehorned into the story line, kinda like they did with "First Men
in the Moon". Wells didn't write about a female passenger.

Kind of sad how Harryhausen's stuff kind of fell by the wayside
when special ee-fects got better. I can see him being in denial
about it. Still, the 1925 "Lost World" is much more interesting to
watch than "Jurrasic Park", nifty-keeno FX or not.

Paul E. Jamison

"Who reads, learns, lives the Ferret Way becomes keeper
of light, ennobling outer worlds from one within."
- a prophecy from the Ancients

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>

nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com> wrote:
> That's what I figure. Like the cover really ought to be a painting of
> the beautiful blonde cave girl running off into the moonlit forest
> looking back over her shoulder at the glimmer of firelight from the
> distant cave mouth like a baleful orange eye. Crosscultural intertribal
> romance is pretty much what a caveman movie is. A "realistic" caveman
> movie would be about the most boring thing you could think of.

That's "Missing Link." Might as well be Animal Channel or National
Geographic but without narration. Not that that's BAD exactly.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>

Paul E. Jamison <pauljmsn@infionline.net> wrote:
> Stang, if you ever get the chance,

... if I ever get the chance? EVER GET THE CHANCE? I saw it when it
came out in the theaters, I filmed the effects scenes off the TV in
Super 8 when it came on TV, I copied it onto Betamax when it was on
cable, and I copied it to VHS when it was at Blockbusters. I have used
the Bernard Herrman score from that film in the background of Hour of
Slack rants more frequently than ANY other stolen music we use.

Oddly enough, one of the VHS tapes we sell, CLUB NO DEVIVAL I think,
MOST COPIES have a "bonus mistake" down at the end... the end of
Mysterious Island, as seen on a TV with really bad reception. The
devival edit was only 90 minutes long but the master tape is 2 hours
long, and it must have had this crappy copy of Mysterious Island on it
previously to Joe Riley cutting the devival on it.

So I end up catching the end of Mysterious Island several times a year
(with bad reception).

watch the 1961 film of Jules Verne's
> "Mysterious Island". I first came across the Gold Key comic, which I
> enjoyed immensely as a wee lad, then eventually saw the flick on TV.
> When I sat down to read the original book it was a big disappointment.
> Jules Verne didn't have giant animals in it! The movie had a giant
> crab, a giant bird chick, and a giant bee - courtesy of one Ray
> Harryhausen. The movie also had wimmins. That's one thing you
> don't find much in Verne's novels; the big exception is the Indian
> princess in "Around the World in 80 Days". But Hollywood always
> has messed with Verne's stuff when they adapted it. Most of the
> Verne movies I've watched (except for "20,000 Leagues Under the
> Sea"; it was Disney's first live-action film and they probably didn't
> know any better) have a good-looking woman or two
> shoehorned into the story line, kinda like they did with "First Men
> in the Moon". Wells didn't write about a female passenger.

NONE of those classic novels have ANY dames in them, and ALL of the
movies made from them have extremely hot looking dames. Moreover, the
dames ALWAYS end up getting their clothes ripped up.

This has everything to do with the economics of motion picture making
and the unspoken but very real demand of the audience, which is that
there be SOME titty, SOMEHOW.

When I was a little kid, it really bothered me that the movie makers
always put WOMEN into stories like that. When I was a slightly larger
kid it became much clearer and nowadays I'm GLAD they did it. That
Mary-Ann-looking young woman in Mysterious Island, with her torn-up
cataway miniskirt, crouched in that giant bee's honeycomb, with those
long brown legs of hers sticking out... TRAPPED INSIDE with that
Jethro-looking young man... Oh yes baby. There was a publicity still of
that very scene that was widely published in mags like Famous Monsters.

I USED that picture MANY MANY TIMES.

Yes, I have always enjoyed the movie of Mysterious Island.

A lot of this also goes for Arlene Dahl or whoever that was in "Journey
to the Center of the Earth," also early 60s. With James Mason but not
Ray Harryhausen.

> Kind of sad how Harryhausen's stuff kind of fell by the wayside
> when special ee-fects got better. I can see him being in denial
> about it. Still, the 1925 "Lost World" is much more interesting to
> watch than "Jurrasic Park", nifty-keeno FX or not.

That depends on how many times you've seen it. I got a copy of The Lost
World 1925 version, in 8mm, when I was 10, which I could run one little
reel at a time on a HAND CRANKED projector I got for $15. For two years
it was the only commercial store-bought reel of film I owned. It wasn't
very interesting to me any more by the time I was 14 or so. Those
dinosaurs look like stuffed huggy-toys with popsickle-sticks for
skeletons. I have all due respect for the great pioneers Willis O'Brian
and Marcel Delgado, but those dinosaurs look like shit. You can
practically SMELL the ones in Spielberg's admittedly grossly
Spielbergized movies.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Paul E. Jamison" <pauljmsn@infionline.net>

Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
> ... if I ever get the chance? EVER GET THE CHANCE? I saw it when it
> came out in the theaters, I filmed the effects scenes off the TV in
> Super 8 when it came on TV, I copied it onto Betamax when it was on
> cable, and I copied it to VHS when it was at Blockbusters. I have used
> the Bernard Herrman score from that film in the background of Hour of
> Slack rants more frequently than ANY other stolen music we use.
>
> Oddly enough, one of the VHS tapes we sell, CLUB NO DEVIVAL I think,
> MOST COPIES have a "bonus mistake" down at the end... the end of
> Mysterious Island, as seen on a TV with really bad reception. The
> devival edit was only 90 minutes long but the master tape is 2 hours
> long, and it must have had this crappy copy of Mysterious Island on it
> previously to Joe Riley cutting the devival on it.
>
> So I end up catching the end of Mysterious Island several times a year
> (with bad reception).
>

Ah. I take it that you've seen it, then.

> watch the 1961 film of Jules Verne's
> > "Mysterious Island". I first came across the Gold Key comic, which I
> > enjoyed immensely as a wee lad, then eventually saw the flick on TV.
> > When I sat down to read the original book it was a big disappointment.
> > Jules Verne didn't have giant animals in it! The movie had a giant
> > crab, a giant bird chick, and a giant bee - courtesy of one Ray
> > Harryhausen. The movie also had wimmins. That's one thing you
> > don't find much in Verne's novels; the big exception is the Indian
> > princess in "Around the World in 80 Days". But Hollywood always
> > has messed with Verne's stuff when they adapted it. Most of the
> > Verne movies I've watched (except for "20,000 Leagues Under the
> > Sea"; it was Disney's first live-action film and they probably didn't
> > know any better) have a good-looking woman or two
> > shoehorned into the story line, kinda like they did with "First Men
> > in the Moon". Wells didn't write about a female passenger.
>
> NONE of those classic novels have ANY dames in them, and ALL of the
> movies made from them have extremely hot looking dames. Moreover, the
> dames ALWAYS end up getting their clothes ripped up.
>
> This has everything to do with the economics of motion picture making
> and the unspoken but very real demand of the audience, which is that
> there be SOME titty, SOMEHOW.
>
> When I was a little kid, it really bothered me that the movie makers
> always put WOMEN into stories like that. When I was a slightly larger
> kid it became much clearer and nowadays I'm GLAD they did it. That
> Mary-Ann-looking young woman in Mysterious Island, with her torn-up
> cataway miniskirt, crouched in that giant bee's honeycomb, with those
> long brown legs of hers sticking out... TRAPPED INSIDE with that
> Jethro-looking young man... Oh yes baby. There was a publicity still of
> that very scene that was widely published in mags like Famous Monsters.
>
> I USED that picture MANY MANY TIMES.

Oh, yes. Quite memorable in that getup, she was.

> Yes, I have always enjoyed the movie of Mysterious Island.
>
> A lot of this also goes for Arlene Dahl or whoever that was in "Journey
> to the Center of the Earth," also early 60s. With James Mason but not
> Ray Harryhausen.

And Pat Boone. Don't forget him. Holding a sheep to cover his nekkidness.

Let's see...
"First Men in the Moon" - gratuitous dame - check.
"Five Weeks in a Balloon" - gratuitus dame - check. (Barbara Eden, no less.)
"From the Earth to the Moon' - gratuitous dame - check.
"War of the Worlds" - not-so-gratuitous dame - check.

- I'm sorry. Lost my train of thought. Where were we?

> That depends on how many times you've seen it. I got a copy of The Lost
> World 1925 version, in 8mm, when I was 10, which I could run one little
> reel at a time on a HAND CRANKED projector I got for $15. For two years
> it was the only commercial store-bought reel of film I owned. It wasn't
> very interesting to me any more by the time I was 14 or so. Those
> dinosaurs look like stuffed huggy-toys with popsickle-sticks for
> skeletons. I have all due respect for the great pioneers Willis O'Brian
> and Marcel Delgado, but those dinosaurs look like shit. You can
> practically SMELL the ones in Spielberg's admittedly grossly
> Spielbergized movies.

True, true. All I can say is I've got the 1925 film on vid, which is
more than I'll ever be able to say about Spielberg's stuff.

Paul E. Jamison

"Who reads, learns, lives the Ferret Way becomes keeper
of light, ennobling outer worlds from one within."
- a prophecy from the Ancients

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "ghost" <ghost@ghost.net>

"Paul E. Jamison" <pauljmsn@infionline.net> wrote :

(snip)

I don't think it's fallen by the wayside at all. Look at all us humans of
indeterminate age still ooh-ing and ahh-ing over his movies.

You gotta know that these kids in the big SFX houses spend a good deal of
their real creative time scratching their heads and going... "Hmm, WWHD?".

For instance, the great skeleton pirate battles in "Pirates of the
Caribbean" is a real homage... better tech, but the basic shit is still the
same as it was in "7th Voyage of Sinbad".

He set that bar so fucking high with his imagination and creativity that
despite technological advances, I don't think it's going to come down
anytime soon.

You gotta admire a guy who would plan out his SFX in advance and then take
it to a producer and tell him to get a script written around them. Or is
that what they did with the "Matrix" sequels?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Joe Cosby <http://joecosby.com/code/mail.pl>

Script? Matrix?

There is no script, Neo.

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.com/
My Chihuahua Taco Dog can beat your Guffaw Cheese Nacho God with all four
paws tied behind its back.

Rev 11D Meow!.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Cardinal Vertigo <jhobbs@myrealbox.com>

I just love you too damn much.

--
"A cry in the dark
Disappears into the void
PLONK"
-- Joe Cosby

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>

ghost <ghost@ghost.net> wrote:
> I don't think it's fallen by the wayside at all. Look at all us humans of
> indeterminate age still ooh-ing and ahh-ing over his movies.
>
> You gotta know that these kids in the big SFX houses spend a good deal of
> their real creative time scratching their heads and going... "Hmm, WWHD?".
>
> For instance, the great skeleton pirate battles in "Pirates of the
> Caribbean" is a real homage... better tech, but the basic shit is still the
> same as it was in "7th Voyage of Sinbad".

There's a much more overt homage-rip in the second Spy Kids movie, with
a dozen or so animated skeletons doing the anti-Argonauts thing to the
Spy Kids.

>
> He set that bar so fucking high with his imagination and creativity that
> despite technological advances, I don't think it's going to come down
> anytime soon.

On the contrary, I think the LotR movies blow everything Harryhausen
did way out of the water as far as composition, action, integration of
fluidly moving camera with totally fake stuff, etc... The bar is way
way higher than anything Harryhausen could have conceived of, given the
limitations he was working with.

It took Harryhausen several tests and LAB RUNS just to get colors to
match for EACH EFFECTS SHOT. Now you can match colors in 5 seconds by
tweaking a color wheel. Motion control is another thing that lifts
effects up to a completely different level than what Harryhausen could
even think about.

Again, I'm an ex stop motion animator and a really really serious
student of the history of movie FX so I don't say this lightly or with
any lack of respect to Harryhausen.

Ray was daddy to everybody who does effects now, but before Ray there
was Willis and before Willis, George Melies invented EVERYTHING EXCEPT
CGI in special effects. ONE FRENCHMAN.

> You gotta admire a guy who would plan out his SFX in advance and then take
> it to a producer and tell him to get a script written around them. Or is
> that what they did with the "Matrix" sequels?

Harryhausen basically wrote those movies, working with others who got
writer credits. (Remember: UNIONS.)

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: ridetheory@yahoo.com (ignatz topolino)

"Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com> wrote:
> I think the LotR movies blow...

I agree with this post.

iggy

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
> I have all due respect for the great pioneers Willis O'Brian
> and Marcel Delgado, but those dinosaurs look like shit. You can
> practically SMELL the ones in Spielberg's admittedly grossly
> Spielbergized movies.

I think that's THE REST OF THE MOVIE you are smelling. Kind of rank and
reptilian? I got JP2 from the library to watch and you know that scene
where the TRex has just escaped and is standing posed "gloriously"
against the city's night skyline, and I said "now scream" and damned if
he didn't. That's not a good movie when it does exactly what I tell it
to do.

I really liked the stego-turtles in Planet of Storms. Give me crazy and
ridiculous dinosaurs any day.
You know you are really asking for my Robots, Dinosaurs, and Robot
Dinosaurs tape. I made it long ago for Vreedeez but he doesn't deserve it.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>

That's why you'd probably make a successful popular movie director, if
making movies didn't require an army of assholes pestering you
constantly. You know what to tell the movie to do. Most people in the
film business don't even know THAT much.

Yes, the second Jurassic Park movie is one of the dumbest huge-budget
movies ever made. The only thing WORSE than The Shitty The Lost World
was the Crichton BOOK of The Shitty The Lost World, which I swear to
god he paid some college student to write for him, just to prove that
NYC publishers will spend a million dollars on PURE GRADE "D" LITERAL
SHIT if it has a nice enough pink bow wrapped around it.

I very vaguely remember seeing a third Jurassic Park movie, which in
some ways was better than the others, because it just went straight to
the dinosaur-fleeing, with not even a token nod to characters or story
-- thus losing at least SOME smarm and cliche.

> I really liked the stego-turtles in Planet of Storms. Give me crazy and
> ridiculous dinosaurs any day.
> You know you are really asking for my Robots, Dinosaurs, and Robot
> Dinosaurs tape. I made it long ago for Vreedeez but he doesn't deserve it.

Well, this whole "SubGenius Foundation" thing the last 25 years was
just my shy and round-about way of asking you if I could borrow that
tape long enough to copy it.

What is really eating at me is that I cannot locate the greatest tape
ever made, "Nenslo's Tape of Most Royally F**ked Up Things," a
collection of the craziest moments that you had isolated from Japanese
TV shows. I used to show that to everybody who came to the house. The
game show contestants in monster suits falling off a rolling log seemed
like the funniest thing I ever saw, EVER!! However, despite searching
for it specifically several times, and after having moved ALL my shit
twice, I have never been able to find it since Back When. I suspect
that someone who saw it liked it even better than I did. That's the
only thing I can figure. There were a lot of teenagers around my house
in them days, and it DID have part of the word "fuck" on it. The most
twisted porno tape I had was swiped by a girlfriend of my daughter's.
(I'm not supposed to know that.) That same friend was later killed in a
car wreck). I just now put two and two together. Maybe whoever took
your Most Royally F**cked Up Tape also died horribly.

I still have a hundred VHS tapes of common ordinary movies. Why
couldn't those have been lost instead.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
> ... I think the LotR movies blow everything Harryhausen
> did way out of the water as far as composition, action, integration of
> fluidly moving camera with totally fake stuff, etc... The bar is way
> way higher than anything Harryhausen could have conceived of, given the
> limitations he was working with.

I agree. I have this crazy pattern-recognition thing that can REALLY
spot not-quite-rightness, like in the mere seconds shown in the
commercials for the spiderman movie and the hulk movie of those leaping
cgi models of human figures. EXTREMELY OBVIOUS to me. Yet out of the
total fucking jillions of artificial humanoids in the first two parts of
the movie (It's all just one movie you know) of LOTR, very very VERY few
of them set off my bullshit detector. Like the elephants did, and some
of the orcs falling off ladders.

So how did you like At The Earth's Core? That Caroline Munro has got
some hooters huh? I saw it at a theatre in London England believe it or
not and ended up really apologizing to the person who went with me. But
saw it again later and that time the person I was with joined me in
SCREAMING WITH LAUGHTER through most of the movie, especially the
exploding fire breathing frog. Give me crazy ridiculous dinosaurs any
day. I like all those REALLY BAD Troy McClure Burroughs movies.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>

nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com> wrote:
> "Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
> > ... I think the LotR movies blow everything Harryhausen
> > did way out of the water as far as composition, action, integration of
> > fluidly moving camera with totally fake stuff, etc... The bar is way
> > way higher than anything Harryhausen could have conceived of, given the
> > limitations he was working with.
>
> I agree. I have this crazy pattern-recognition thing that can REALLY
> spot not-quite-rightness, like in the mere seconds shown in the
> commercials for the spiderman movie and the hulk movie of those leaping
> cgi models of human figures. EXTREMELY OBVIOUS to me.

Yeah, me too but in the Spiderman one it's FAST, plus, that whole
manner of locomotion is SO fucking nuts. The Spiderman movie has an
honesty to it. The Hulk movie is just a mess. A real mess.

Yet out of the
> total fucking jillions of artificial humanoids in the first two parts of
> the movie (It's all just one movie you know) of LOTR, very very VERY few
> of them set off my bullshit detector. Like the elephants did, and some
> of the orcs falling off ladders.

There's a scene where one of those Nazgul Death Rider guys is seated on
a Winged Elasmosaurus or whatever, diving repeatedly at the big white
City of Elthenore or whatever, and once when he comes right at you it
might as well be a video game, it gets so pixelly for about 6 frames.
But generally overall, the sweep of the thing is so constant that I was
plumb amazed. I was amazed at the sheer NERVE of the movie makers in
even ATTEMPTING some of those shots and sequences, much less actually
making them happen. NO WAY could that have been pulled off as a
Hollywood production.

> So how did you like At The Earth's Core? That Caroline Munro has got
> some hooters huh? I saw it at a theatre in London England believe it or
> not and ended up really apologizing to the person who went with me. But
> saw it again later and that time the person I was with joined me in
> SCREAMING WITH LAUGHTER through most of the movie, especially the
> exploding fire breathing frog. Give me crazy ridiculous dinosaurs any
> day. I like all those REALLY BAD Troy McClure Burroughs movies.

Now, Nenslo, this may seem to be stretching it, but... I believe I saw
that movie when it came out, and I was in London, England too!! Or
possibly it was the OTHER such movie. When I was 19, someone else and I
hitchhiked and rode trains around Europe and we saw a lot of shitty
movies, sometimes with Spanish subtitles etc.

Caroline Munro is by far the most memorable thing from those movies or,
for that matter, ANY of the movies she's been in that I've seen, which
doesn't say much for those movies, but sure says a lot for her hooters
and her sweet open dumb gorgeous face. In later years she really
plumped up and even in that one Harryhausen movie you could almost call
her RADICALLY FAT for a "MOVIE STAR." Or maybe it's the Earth Core
movie. At any rate, the movie Carline Munro movie I REALLY want to see
again is "STAR CRASH." She was a full-blown plumper by then and OH MY
GOD, OH MY FUCKING GOD IN HEAVEN. Nestle me right down in there, oh
Mama. MMMMM mm mm. Plus, the special effects and so forth are quite the
laff riot.

The Cloned Jesus book is lots of fun so far. I am really REALLY hating
the bad fat guy, and hoping he gets a properly drawn-out and torturous
comeuppance.

Does this Jeff Long author, and every other sci fi type of author, have
a thing for Genius Nerd Girl Characters?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
> Now, Nenslo, this may seem to be stretching it, but... I believe I saw
> that movie when it came out, and I was in London, England too!! Or
> possibly it was the OTHER such movie. When I was 19, someone else and I
> hitchhiked and rode trains around Europe and we saw a lot of shitty
> movies, sometimes with Spanish subtitles etc.

Wellsir if you were there in the summer of 1976, avoiding the
bicentennial, you and I were in the same foreign city at the very same
time. I stumbled into a matinee at a theatre across the street from one
of those famous named train stations and saw a double feature of a
Korean giant monster suit movie and a Spanish western comedy featuring a
hero called "The Holy Ghost" who dressed in white and wore a cape lined
with sequins so he could open it up and blind his opponents with
reflected glare. In Copenhagen there was a theater that showed Disney
and Walter Lantz cartoons all day long. What a dumbass - went to Europe
to go to the movies. And only the gay guys wanted to have sex with me.

> Caroline Munro is by far the most memorable thing from those movies or,
> for that matter, ANY of the movies she's been in that I've seen, which
> doesn't say much for those movies, but sure says a lot for her hooters
> and her sweet open dumb gorgeous face. In later years she really
> plumped up and even in that one Harryhausen movie you could almost call
> her RADICALLY FAT for a "MOVIE STAR." Or maybe it's the Earth Core
> movie. At any rate, the movie Carline Munro movie I REALLY want to see
> again is "STAR CRASH." She was a full-blown plumper by then and OH MY
> GOD, OH MY FUCKING GOD IN HEAVEN. Nestle me right down in there, oh
> Mama. MMMMM mm mm. Plus, the special effects and so forth are quite the
> laff riot.

STAR CRASH is totally great in every way. Absolutely the second best
movie Marjoe Gortner made. All the model shots get Italian Lighting -
red on one side, blue on the other, and yellow on top. And poor
Christopher Plummer seems so embarrassed at having agreed to sit on a
throne in a robe reading those stupid lines.

> The Cloned Jesus book is lots of fun so far. I am really REALLY hating
> the bad fat guy, and hoping he gets a properly drawn-out and torturous
> comeuppance.
>
> Does this Jeff Long author, and every other sci fi type of author, have
> a thing for Genius Nerd Girl Characters?

Doesn't every reasonably intelligent person?

"Guys fuck the asses off girls who wear glasses." - Nenslo

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Original file name: Ultrasick Flashtoons#1AD1E1.txt - converted on Saturday, 25 September 2004, 02:05