From: nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com>
Date: Thu, Jun 17, 2004
Meaningless spectacle interrupted by tedious monologues,
or tedious
monologues interrupted by meaningless spectacle? For
the first hour I
kept asking, when is something going to happen? Yak
yak yak, buncha
fakey looking cgi guys leaping around, shot of Keeno
with one hand on
the ground, yak yak yak some more. There is about fifteen
minutes of
pretty good movie in this. Major character conflict
comes from fact
that Knot Head Chick used to be Boring Dude's girlfriend
and is now
Angry Dude's girlfriend. I COULD NOT TELL what some
of those people
were babbling about. There was no reason for this movie
to exist - but
as it is written, "In Hollywood, if it doesn't
make sense, it makes
dollars." Biggest thrill was trying to tell if
that was really Ken
Nordine in the Blofeld Seat, but apparently it wasn't.
Keymaker was the
only really cool guy, and Squiddy Bomb was the only
really cool machine.
I like to wait until nobody's talking about a movie
any more to see it.
If Mrs. Nenslo wasn't out of town I wouldn't be watching
crap like this
and that Schwarzenegger movie where he kicks the devil's
ass. I have
seen some good ones but talking about them would be
wasted on ignorinos
like YOU. Go see your monster hunter fart joke movies
you dopes.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Cardinal Vertigo <vertigo@alexandria.cc>
nenslo wrote:
> Meaningless spectacle interrupted by tedious monologues,
or tedious
> monologues interrupted by meaningless spectacle?
For the first hour I
> kept asking, when is something going to happen?
Yak yak yak, buncha
> fakey looking cgi guys leaping around, shot of
Keeno with one hand on
> the ground, yak yak yak some more. There is about
fifteen minutes of
> pretty good movie in this.
[snip]
Just wait until you see the third one.
--
"Look, there is one statement that bothers me more
than anything else,
and that's the idea that when the troops are in combat
everybody has
to shut up. Imagine if we put troops in combat with
a faulty rifle,
and that rifle was malfunctioning and troops were dying
as a result.
I can't think anyone would allow that to happen, that
would not speak
up. Well, what's the difference between a faulty plan
and strategy
that's getting just as many troops killed?"
- Gen. Anthony Zinni, USMC (Ret.), former CENTCOM C-in-C,
21 May 2004
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "nu-monet v6.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>
nenslo wrote:
> Meaningless spectacle interrupted by tedious
> monologues, or tedious monologues interrupted
> by meaningless spectacle?
Okay, a real question to nenslo for once.
I actually agree with you that the Matrix sequels
sucked eggs, more or less. However, the first one
did have some good potential plot lines.
Pretending that the sequels had never been made,
how would you, nenslo, script the major points of
continued plot lines?
More of a sci-fi question than a movie question:
Neo has (maybe) become "The Chosen One".
Now what?
My take is that they never should have bothered
going to the human city at all. Waste of time and
it's got nothing to do with "The Matrix".
Neo has to: 1) Free all the human batteries; and
2) Destroy the evil machines.
But that is just my opinion. What say nenslo?
--
"Money can't buy you happiness,
but when you're poor, you can't
buy shit, and nobody will loan
you happiness."
--nu-monet
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: kdetal@aol.com (KD et al)
>Okay, a real question to nenslo for once.
>
>I actually agree with you that the Matrix sequels
>sucked eggs, more or less. However, the first one
>did have some good potential plot lines.
>
>Pretending that the sequels had never been made,
>how would you, nenslo, script the major points of
>continued plot lines?
>
>More of a sci-fi question than a movie question:
>Neo has (maybe) become "The Chosen One".
Now what?
>
>My take is that they never should have bothered
>going to the human city at all. Waste of time and
>it's got nothing to do with "The Matrix".
>
>Neo has to: 1) Free all the human batteries; and
>2) Destroy the evil machines.
The Humans nearly stone Neo to death when he tries to
free them and they see
the "real" world. Neo narrowly escapes with
his life by spraying Ubik on the
crowds and the rest of the humans make deals with the
evil machines to
voluntarily be used as batteries as long as they get
to live their illusion.
Neo then briefly joins the AA who tell him that only
when students are ready
can the teacher appear, before kicking him out for not
having the right
alcoholic lineage. The machines reprogram the humans
with a prime directive to
obey and never harm machines and title it "I, Human."
Neo feels emasculated as the evil machines laugh at
his stupid attempts and
when a Zen Master dumps a bucket of water on him and
asks "Has a dog Buddha
Nature?" he experiences sartori and briefly wanders
the streets as a ragged
homeless person, laughing and crying at the same time
over the foibles of human
existance. He also loses a lot of weight for this role
and almost looks like a
girl. But then a wicked carnival comes to town and
while learning to smile at
mirrors, Neo realizes he's wasting time and comes away
determined to think up a
plan to conquer the dark.
In the meantime, Neo meets a cute chick and gets involved,
but one night when
they all have the munchies after a lot of pipe smoking,
he kills her and feeds
her as kibble to his dog.
Finally, one day while looking at a monkey hit a smaller
monkey in a cage at
the zoo, Neo has an epiphany and realizes that the only
ones who havent been
indoctrinated past all hope are the children and those
who are children at
heart. The next year, "Harry Potter's Matrix Sorcerers
Prisoner's stone and
the Chamber of Revolution Reloaded Secrets" comes
out to a worldwide audience
that can't get enough.
Through this, Neo finds and trains an elite group of
reality benders, mostly
under 30 to carry on the mission. Those over 30 are
tested and if the light on
their hand starts blinking, they're kicked out of the
group through a ritual
known as Carousel while the rest of the elite laugh
and throw beer.
Content that he has set the stage for the next group
of freedom fighters, Neo
retires to his computer and spends the rest of his days
typing rants and bad
one liners on some fake religion newsgroup. Eventually
he finds out that he is
the son of Satan himself by a mother name Rosemary and
that Satan Sr. is a
lawyer in New York, but by this time he doesn't care
and just laughs and
laughs.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: lyonderboy666@hotmail.com (Anti Pope Lupus of SI)
"ghost" <ghost@ghost.net> wrote:
> "nenslo" <nenslo@yahoox.com> wrote:
>
> ((snip)
> and Squiddy Bomb was the only really cool machine.
>
> Them robot gun suits were fucking AWFUL... real
dorky looking. That spoiled
> the whole big battle scene for me.
I think, sometime during the first movie, people forgot
they were
watching a Keanu Reeves action movie. I'll repeat that.
A Keanu
Reeves action movie.
A Keanu Reeves action movie.
Okay now. Let's move on.
-APLY
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Cardinal Vertigo <vertigo@alexandria.cc>
Anti Pope Lupus of SI wrote:
Post of the day! Too bad for the rest of you it's only
1:26 AM. Save
all your good material for Sunday, I guess.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Two Beans <twobeans@godhatesyou.com>
nenslo wrote:
>Meaningless spectacle interrupted by tedious monologues,
or tedious
>monologues interrupted by meaningless spectacle?
You see, there's your problem. You took The Matrix,
an story that made
you question your own beliefs (if for but a second saying
"what if I
wuz in a compooter, I'd never know"), tossed in
amazing special
effects, k00l music, and other shit you've never seen
in a movie
before. you come out with the feeling of not having
wasted your time
watching it.
Then along comes Matrix 2. You expect more shit that
you haven't seen
before, nore questioning of your reality, more kool
music. You expect
new new new. But, you forget that you've already seen
The matrix, and
you neglect that the title of the movie you're about
to see is "Matrix
Too".
I enjoyed Reloaded, and Revolutions, because I came
into them knowing
that they were SEQUALS. More of the same. I expected
them to toss more
of the same shit into those movies. The fight scenes
were fun to
watch, the CG was interesting from someone that has
worked a little
with that sorta thing. I used to gape in awe of the
dinosaurs in
Jurassic Park, now I see triangles, meshes, and shaders
in nearly
every CG scene in the movies these days.
Complaining about the experience of watching Matrix
2 not being as
good as your experience watching Matrix 1 is like bitching
about the
second time having sex not being as weird and exciting
as the first.
Its like complaining that your second dose of LSD isn't
as mind
fragmenting as the first (that is, if it's the same
dose as the
first).
There are exceptions to the rule, I thought Terminator
2 was a more
enjoyable experience as watching the first. But that
was mainly due to
the number of wars inbetween where those involved in
both movies took
their time and polished their shit, as well as the increase
in
technology. Then again, that's just my opinion. Terminater
3 sucked
hard salty horseshoe crab testes, but at least the CG
was pretty n33t
to look at.
-2B
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: The Matrix Reloaded
Two Beans <twobeans@godhatesyou.com> wrote:
>But that was mainly due to
>the number of wars inbetween where those involved
in both movies took
>their time and polished their shit
"wars"?? I meant years. What the fuck am I thinking?
Oh yeah, X-Day's coming up...
-2B
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com>
Two Beans wrote:
> nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com> wrote:
>
> >Meaningless spectacle interrupted by tedious
monologues, or tedious
> >monologues interrupted by meaningless spectacle?
>
> You see, there's your problem. You took The Matrix,
an story that made
> you question your own beliefs (if for but a second
saying "what if I
> wuz in a compooter, I'd never know"), tossed
in amazing special
> effects, k00l music, and other shit you've never
seen in a movie
> before. you come out with the feeling of not having
wasted your time
> watching it.
>
> Then along comes Matrix 2. You expect more shit
that you haven't seen
> before, nore questioning of your reality, more
kool music. You expect
> new new new. But, you forget that you've already
seen The matrix, and
> you neglect that the title of the movie you're
about to see is "Matrix
> Too".
And there's YOUR problem. Imagining things. I don't
watch movies with
any expectation other than that they should not bore
me, confuse me, or
make me feel like I had wasted my time watching them.
The entire first
hour bored me, not least the irrelevant fight scenes.
The monologues
which were apparently supposed to be the "content"
part of the movie
simply confused me. I felt like all but about fifteen
minutes of the
time I spent watching it was wasted. I didn't think
anything at all
about what it would be like or what it was supposed
to be like, and I
didn't expect it to be the same as watching the first
movie. It was a
lot of empty flash and jargon babbling and posturing
with little else.
I could say the same about some other movies I have
seen lately, such as
End of Days, the Arnold vs. Satan movie, which was all
empty flash and
jargon babbling and posturing and NOTHING else, or The
Swindle (Rien ne
va plus), a French conman movie that just dragged no
matter what was
happening, or The Case of the Lucky Legs, a 1935 Perry
Mason movie
starring ultraham Warren William playing Perry Mason
as a hungover
eccentric in a straw boater and a double-breasted suit,
which was a
perfect example of the kind of mediocrity hacked out
by the studios in
anticipation of the kind of dreary stuff which now forms
most TV drama.
Not once did I stick tape into player thinking I knew
what the movie was
going to be. I watch movies to FIND OUT what they are,
if I already
think I know what they are, why watch them at all?
For god sake. You jerk.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Two Beans <twobeans@godhatesyou.com>
nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com> wrote:
>You jerk.
I agree with this post.
-2B
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com>
Two Beans wrote:
> Complaining about the experience of watching Matrix
2 not being as
> good as your experience watching Matrix 1
Just to clarify, I at no point in my essay compared
the two. I took the
movie on its own merits and found it, in and of itself,
boring confusing
and a waste of time. You dope.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Two Beans <twobeans@godhatesyou.com>
nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com> wrote:
> You dope.
I smoke this post.
-2B
Original file name: The Matrix Reloaded.txt - converted on Saturday, 25 September 2004, 02:05
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