From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Date: Tue, Jun 10, 2003
Modemac <modemac@modemac.com> wrote:
> I'm actually looking forward to the Hulk movie,
based on the strength
> of its director, Ang Lee. Most folks know him
as the guy who made
> "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon," though
obsessive movie geeks will
> also remember him for "Sense and Sensibility,"
"The Wedding Banquet,"
> and "Eat Drink Man Woman."
>
> Hopefully the action scenes will be good, but I'm
also hopeful that
> the movie will play up the Jekyll-and-Hyde undercurrent
that drives
> the whole story of the Hulk.
I just saw the movie. more or less.
From my notes:
THE HULK aka "DADS OF EVIL"
Slow... spaced out... Bruce Banner is supposed to be
"emotionally
distant," but the girl and the movie itself make
him look like a real
live wire.
Poor Man's David Lynchian pace and atmosphere
Could the secret defense department guy be... EVIL??!?
Could... Could the nanomeds accident that made the young
man feel
mysteriously healthy instead of killing him... could
this be leading to
something??
Could the color GREEN be some kind of RECURRING MOTIF here?
Spider-Man went straight to the super stuff and had
only ONE evil dad.
This one has TWO evil dads (Nick Nolte looks like me
in this role as
mad scientist put away for 30 years), plays pointless
tease, delaying
super-stuff until 40 minutes in.
Most AFFECTED editing EVER in any film. Weird distracting
jump-cuts
used in plain ordinary dialog scenes -- also, line-of-action
(axis of
movement) frequently crossed for stylistic effect --
really corny
though. Painful over-use of cheesy After Effects compositing
tricks.
Extremely tedious, endless shots of military hardware
being prepped and
moved around... ridiculous over-use of split screens
(a la 1969 hippie
movies), used to pack even more tedious hardware footage
into these
hardware-moving sequences.
Time COULD have been used for CGI action, or less spaced-out
character
development.
First good moment is over an hour in:
GOOD ceramic hand effect! (Nick Nolte becomes Elemental
Chameleon mad
hippie)
Cool set: deserted A-bomb Test Suburb.
Cool machine gun bullet impact effects on Hulk's skin.
National parks, monuments destroyed: Needles National
park
Bryce Canyon National Park
Monument Valley
San Francisco Bay Bridge unfortunately NOT destroyed.
Cool clinging-to-top-of-jet scene
Cool mole-like under-street burrowing.
Rather confused "cosmic" ending.
What I saw was a workprint -- some sound effects missing,
some CGI
unfinished (Hulk's britches disappear flickeringly!),
and probably no
Elfman music -- sounds like music for this version lifted
from
director's previous movies.
I sincerely hope that this film is edited more tightly
before release
-- it could stand to be MUCH tighter. A 45 miniute story
in 2 hours,
with the padding in SLOW PANS OF MACHINES instead of
marvelous action.
The forced-stately pace does not work for what's basically
a kids'
movie and FX parade -- both of which I normally enjoy,
when such movies
are not being artificially arty-fartied up.
Has none of the Marvel sensibility that made Spider_Man
work. Forced,
pretentious, clumsy.
Some REALLY COOL animation. Excellent character animation
in the Hulk
figure. Very good body language... detailed. Leaping
shots and fighting
over canyon land probably look breathtaking on big screen,
if viewer is
not asleep by then.
Leading actress might as well be a badly animated stop-action
dummy
figure herself.
Nolte sounds maybe sort of drunk. Has one good anti-Conspiracy
rant at
end, but not worth exporting whole track to isolate
for HoS.
--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath
of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: bobdiddley@aol.com (Bobdiddley)
modemac hath sayed:
>I'm actually looking forward to the Hulk movie,
based on the strength
>of its director, Ang Lee. Most folks know him as
the guy who made
>"Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon,"
So he's the sick fuck who invented that "idea"
of having actors appear to stand
around in mid-air until I'm tired of watching them.
I yearn for the
old-fashioned movie tricks such as 'plot' or 'characters'
or 'dialogue'. But
no, thanks to Ang Lee, everybody just stands about 6'
above gravity's nearest
ledge, wearing cool sunglasses. Thanx a billion, smartass.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "nu-monet v5.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>
But what about the IMPORTANT STUFF?
Like Keanu's nude scene?
and the Smashmouth plays Metallica soundtrack?
and the Ron Jeremy cameo?
and the neo-Nazi terrorists steal the bomb scene?
and the HULK Burger King glasses merchandising?
and Bruce Banner's car having FOUR flat tires
at the same time? (Damn, you'd think he would
stop trying to save a few bucks buying retreads
after losing *both* a wife and a girlfriend!)
and the other stuff?
--
Lose unsightly fat *and* make homemade
soap in just minutes--ask me how!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>
I saw a commercial for it that ACTUALLY MENTIONED AND
SHOWED A PICTURE
OF JACK KIRBY!!! Unfortunately, a few weeks ago I said
to myself, in
the supermarket, "This Dick Tracyesque overmarketing
of a movie that's
not going to be released for another month is beginning
to smack of
desperation." Maybe when you see him for minutes
at a time instead of
for half a second on TV he won't look so much like a
fakey CGI thing.
The Hulk never appealed to me, perhaps as a result
of having his
exact analogue for a father figure. It's real cute
until it happens
to YOU. My personal Hulk furiously sent me to my room
for crying when
Dorothy has to leave her friends in Oz - and I was FOUR.
The asshole.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>
"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
> Nolte sounds maybe sort of drunk.
You should see him in Trixie or Breakfast of Champions. AMAZING.
Can you believe it took me this long to watch The Trial?
Well I
finally did. THANKS. It suffers from Wellesian pomposity,
of course,
but the look of it is incredible, since like The Dark
Backward it
takes place entirely in the Nenslo Universe, and Perkins
is just the
twitchy little fellow for the part. I am sure I will
watch it again
ever year or so.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
I first saw it while tranked out on SODIUM PENTATHOL
at college. I only
vaguely remembered it being REALLY GOOD. About a year
or two later I
made a black and white "underground movie"
called "Let's Visit the
World of the Future."
About 5 years ago, Friday Jones sent me that copy of
THE TRIAL. Upon
seeing it a second time I was STRUCK with how clearly
I HAD remembered
the movie, especially specific shots, and I was HORRIFIED
at how
closely I had IMITATED in World of the Future certain
THE TRIAL
compositions that I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW I REMEMBERED!
(I underwent a similar shock when at age 25 I saw a
film called "CLAY
-- ORIGIN OF THE SPECIES" by Elliot Noyse (sp?),
and suddenly realized
that the claymation I did at 15, "The Wad and the
Worm," must have been
unconsciously RIPPED OFF from "CLAY". Which
I had seen when I was
THIRTEEN.
But then, the other day, I saw a film that I did when
I was TEN which
had claymation predating "CLAY," reassuring
me that nobody had ripped
anybody off, that it's just that claymation is something
any ten year
old can do, and they almost always end up doing it the
same way because
of the nature of clay. (For instance all the characters
have to have
big huge wide feet and legs because spindly legs won't
support a wad of
clay. And when the clay heats up and they start falling
over anyway,
why, you MORPH them into something else -- like a big
ugly HEAD!))
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)
"Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
wrote in message news:
(For instance all the characters have to have
> big huge wide feet and legs because spindly legs
won't support a wad of
> clay. And when the clay heats up and they start
falling over anyway,
> why, you MORPH them into something else -- like
a big ugly HEAD!))
BEST DESCRIPTION OF ALT.SLACK EVER.
--
HellPope Huey @ hellpopehuey@subgenius.com, C57-D/ae-35/999
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: ridetheory@yahoo.com (ignatz topolino)
It's Fuck or Be Fucked!
http://jcandz.com/She_Hulk.html
iggy topo
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "nu-monet v5.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>
Baby got back.
Hey, waitaminnit!
Baby got front, too?
Now that I think about it, mebbe the She Hulk
movie should star Jennifer Lopez. When angered
or outraged, her ASS gets bigger. And she gets
divorced or something.
--
I don't know what you're talking about.
I've never met you before in my life.
That story sounds like utter bullshit.
I wasn't there and it wasn't me.
I am *not* in denial. Shut up.
--nu-monet
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)
> It's Fuck or Be Fucked!
> http://jcandz.com/She_Hulk.html
I MOST HEARTILY ENDORSE THIS SERVICE AND/OR PRODUCT.
*This* is what
the Church is all about: comic books and anal sex rolled
into one.
--
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)
bobdiddley@aol.com (Bobdiddley) wrote in message
> So he's the sick fuck who invented that "idea"
of having actors appear to stand
> around in mid-air until I'm tired of watching them.
I yearn for the
> old-fashioned movie tricks such as 'plot' or 'characters'
or 'dialogue'. But
> no, thanks to Ang Lee, everybody just stands about
6' above gravity's nearest
> ledge, wearing cool sunglasses. Thanx a billion,
smartass.
THANK YOU. Guess we're just old fogies to suggest that
character is a
desirable and even vital component of the most complex
art form
around. Worse yet, people are bitching because the 2nd
"Matrix"
offering "wasn't as good as the first one."
Aw, poor jaded Amurricans,
there wasn't another burst of completely novel innovation
to tickle
yer pink & tenders! Feh.
The only types of places where more of the same are
generally a GOOD
thing are in the sexual arena or where chocolate is
concerned, for
example. Once it becomes a sight gag on 'The Simpsons,"
its time to
move on. I stopped hovering in mid-air when i was about
24. Responses
to straight line to follow.
--
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Original file name: Re- FUCK THE HULK.txt - converted on Saturday, 25 September 2004, 02:05
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