From: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)
Date: Sat, Jun 7, 2003
David Hasslehoff as "Nick Fury, Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.."
Right. Next,
let's cast Roseanne as Mary, Queen of Scots, Gary Coleman
as Hannibal
or Carrot Top as Captain America. Man, what a stench.
Discuss.
--
HellPope Huey @ hellpopehuey@subgenius.com, C57-D/ae-35/999
Temporal-lobe epilepsy: its what's
for breakfast!
"What do you see here?"
"Several dozen ways to get a staph infection."
- "Everwood"
"I think its called 'power vomiting'...
...I had gum coming out of me they don't even
make anymore."
- "The Drew Carey Show"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "nu-monet v5.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>
Anyone who is to be cast for the upcoming
"Wonder Twins"(*) movie.
(*) as in "Justice League Wonder Twins", the
Vulcan-esque, vaguely incestuous mezamorphs
who would do shit like her turning into a
gorilla with a yeast infection and he turning
into a strawberry flavored douche. To fight
evil and shit.
--
"Innocence is not itself a
constitutional claim."
--Chief Justice William Rehnquist
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: chaisr@earthalliance.com (The Rev. Dr. Lt. Chaos Israel)
Already done been done:
Jim Carrey & Jennifer Anniston.
--
George Burns did it better.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Semolina Pilchard <ushat@myactiveware.com>
chaisr@earthalliance.com (The Rev. Dr. Lt. Chaos Israel) wrote:
I don't think we needed to requote the message, which
was at Labrador
Retriever level. The name's enough.
"The Rev. Dr. Lt. Chaos Israel"
Nothing more to say.
--
Semolina Pilchard
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "The Rev. Dr. Lt. Chaos Israel" <nospam.tacticalbuddha@yoohoo.con>
You are not authorized to have an opinion on the subject.
--
The Rev. Dr. Lt. Chaos Israel
"Insert witty phrase or obscure reference here".
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Semolina Pilchard <ushat@myactiveware.com>
hellpopehuey@subgenius.com(HellPopeHuey) wrote:
>David Hasslehoff as "Nick Fury, Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.."
Right. Next,
>let's cast Roseanne as Mary, Queen of Scots, Gary
Coleman as Hannibal
>or Carrot Top as Captain America. Man, what a stench.
Discuss.
Another vapid cunt consigned to the bozo bin.
Why do these slack bastards keep bothering us with their
childish
nonesense? Why don't they just die of shame for their
lack of cool,
tastelessness, passing interest or anyhting else that's
worth the
effort of posting? It escapes me how they can suffer
their own group,
let alone cross-posting to a.t.
Hint to slackers: This really might be a good moment
to fuck off
forever. I kid you not.
--
Semolina Pilchard
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "nu-monet v5.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>
Semolina Pilchard wrote:
> Hint to slackers: This really might be a
> good moment to fuck off forever. I kid you not.
on't fuck with us, Ma'am. We're religious cultists
and we know how to die for a cause. Just not the
same one. Or at the same time. Which is NOT to
say that you oughtn't to be concerned about our
serious gree-gree and mojo turnin' yo' bowels to
water and makin' yer eyeballs melt out-a yer face.
Besides, if you were *really* tasteless, you'd
have posted some good gross out links instead of
just whine about how we're givin' you headache.
--
Makes me wish they'd bring back the
impalement of severed heads.
-- Orton Nenslo
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "NeuroManson" <dogegoops@attbi.com>
Speaking of which, if anyone wants, I have a full rip
of "Amazing Shocking
Asia", twenty tons of dead bodies, body parts,
deformed kids, deformed kids
eating bugs, and guys eating pussy the hard way.
I'd share it on KaZaA, but it's a pain in the butt to
split my bandwidth
that much, and usenet just ain't reliable enough.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "NeuroManson" <dogegoops@attbi.com>
Afraid not, until I'm sure whether the car can handle
extensive driving (did
a trip from Puyallup to Auburn, the long way, but not
willing to push my
chances, and besides, it's on a 3 day temporay permit).
If ya'll can e-mail
me at dogegoops@ibtta.moc (reverse spelling for each
word in the nessesary
order), I can give you my mailing address to send the
CD-R to, and mail it
back to you once it's burned.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Semolina Pilchard <ushat@myactiveware.com>
"nu-monet v5.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>
wrote:
>Semolina Pilchard wrote:
>> Hint to slackers: This really might be a
>> good moment to fuck off forever. I kid you
not.
>>
>
>on't fuck with us, Ma'am. We're religious cultists
>and we know how to die for a cause. Just not the
>same one. Or at the same time. Which is NOT to
>say that you oughtn't to be concerned about our
>serious gree-gree and mojo turnin' yo' bowels to
>water and makin' yer eyeballs melt out-a yer face.
Excuse my laughter, nu-monet. At the very best you
ever attained, you
were an arrested adolescent. You and your fellow-fuckwits
read
inactive on the geiger-counter of wit, invective, interest,
anecdote,
repartee or evidently active thought process. Though
most of you to
my certain knowledge are in your fifties and beyond
you are stuck in
that form of so-called humour best categorised as childish.
Melt my eyeballs outta my face? You couldn't melt
your insigifcant
little dick out of rancid butter with an oxy-acetylene
burner, you
unsufferable mince-brain. You're a cunt, plain and
simple, and an
unbearably stupid cunt at that.
>
>Besides, if you were *really* tasteless, you'd
>have posted some good gross out links instead of
>just whine about how we're givin' you headache.
It would only be encouraging you, mongo. I'm tired
of casting pearls
before swine.
You have nothing to offer alt.tasteless, you splash-pattern-with-a-
learning-difficulty. Stop bothering us. Take your
silly, jejeune
shit back to your own group, where your silly, jejeune
buddies will
appreciate your utter, despicable stupidity.
Oh. I'm not a ma'am. Anyone but you, nu-monet, would
have seen that
from the start. Take that as a measure of how far out
of your depth
you are.
Or don't. Drown, you cunt.
--
Semolina Pilchard
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "The Rev. Dr. Lt. Chaos Israel" <nospam.tacticalbuddha@yoohoo.con>
ATTN: Semolina Pilchard <ushat@myactiveware.com>
You are not authorized to post to alt.slack. Remove
alt.slack from your headers
immediately.
Further abuse of Subgenius bandwidth will result in
administrative action
under Articile 7 of the Cleveland Protocol.
This is your final warning.
--
The Rev. Dr. Lt. Chaos Israel
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Jarto <sjSPAMj@hollwNOTith.fsnWELCOMEet.co.uk>
Semolina Pilchard <ushat@myactiveware.com> wrote:
"To relieve constipation, start each day
with a nice bowl of semolina pilchard and prunes."
---
Jarto
"I'll not drink to that!" - Stang
"SLACK through HATE is not an unreasonable expectation."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Semolina Pilchard <ushat@myactiveware.com>
Mmm. So you're gonna eat me, Jarto? Fair enough, sweetie,
so long as
you keep a well-saliva-enhanced tongue around the underside
of my
glans. That generally does the trick, and is the sort
of information
I feel it's necessary to give to crack-whores like you.
You won't
mind if I spurt my diseased jism around your jaws, will
you?
Last I remember of you, jarto, and it's very vague,
you were
indistinguishable from one or another of the other slack
cunts you
(rightly) associate with. Jarto, you're a usenet nonentity.
Amend
your headers. You bore alt.tasteless. For all I know,
you bore
alt.slack. but that's hard to imagine.
--
Semolina Pilchard
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Jarto <sjSPAMj@hollwNOTith.fsnWELCOMEet.co.uk>
No!
---
Jarto
"I'll not drink to that!" - Stang
"SLACK through HATE is not an unreasonable expectation."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Major Dickslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>
Semolina Pilchard wrote:
> usenet nonentity
GOOD ONE!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Thageus <thageusTRIANGLE@yahoo.com--REMOVEshape!!!!>
'usenet nonentity' is what we call a redundant tautology. thankyou class.
--
_____
Thageus the Triangular
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Jarto <sjSPAMj@hollwNOTith.fsnWELCOMEet.co.uk>
Semolina Pilchard <ushat@myactiveware.com> wrote:
>Excuse my laughter, nu-monet. At the very best
you ever attained, you
>were an arrested adolescent. You and your fellow-fuckwits
read
>inactive on the geiger-counter of wit, invective,
interest, anecdote,
>repartee or evidently active thought process. Though
most of you to
>my certain knowledge are in your fifties and beyond
you are stuck in
>that form of so-called humour best categorised as
childish.
>
>Melt my eyeballs outta my face? You couldn't melt
your insigifcant
>little dick out of rancid butter with an oxy-acetylene
burner, you
>unsufferable mince-brain. You're a cunt, plain
and simple, and an
>unbearably stupid cunt at that.
>It would only be encouraging you, mongo. I'm tired
of casting pearls
>before swine.
>
>You have nothing to offer alt.tasteless, you splash-pattern-with-a-
>learning-difficulty. Stop bothering us. Take your
silly, jejeune
>shit back to your own group, where your silly, jejeune
buddies will
>appreciate your utter, despicable stupidity.
>
>Oh. I'm not a ma'am. Anyone but you, nu-monet,
would have seen that
>from the start. Take that as a measure of how far
out of your depth
>you are.
>
>Or don't. Drown, you cunt.
Your increasingly idiotic responses to my "fellow
fuckwits" actually
made me think about something here (Whoa! Don't get
excited, this
could all go wrong..)
I notice that you like to make claims about us fuckwits.
Earlier on,
Pilchard-Breath, you referred to me as a "little
man." I don't know
where on this planet you gather your intelligence from,
but Iam by
know means little at 5'11". I'd say thats pretty
average. I don't
know what your height, is quite frankly, I couldn't
give the steam of
your piss what it is. (And since you like using demeaning
similes, I
thought I'd add one for good measure)
Is your group a plethora of idiots? From what I'VE
learnt it is, but
at least we admit to being idiotic, and quite frankly
we do not care
how you class us. This has been said many, many times
before friend.
I'm gonna refer to this little file here:
" A Fuckhead Must Have An Exaggerated Sense of
His/Her Own Importance
The Internet fuckhead will come to the table insuperably
convinced of
his/her own correctness and of his/her immediacy in
any debate or
discussion. For example, the non-fuckhead will join
a discussion
cautiously, reading over the prior correspondance and
offering an
opinion thoughtfully. The fuckhead will come plowing
in without regard
to the established parameters of the debate and without
regard to the
existing participants."
You fit in perfectly here, fuckhead
---
Jarto
"I'll not drink to that!" - Stang
"SLACK through HATE is not an unreasonable expectation."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Semolina Pilchard <ushat@myactiveware.com>
It takes a second crack at it before you muster what
passes as your
thoughts, boiled-brain.
If I fitted in with you or your contemptible kind I'd
saw through my
throat with a blunt tablespoon. Amend the headers,
please. We can't
stand much more of this porridge. I am asking you formally
to take
this rubbish out of alt.tasteless and leave us alone.
You evidently
suit each other - god knows why - but keep your shit
to yourself.
You, nu-monet and the other slack people who insist
on crossposting
here don't do a fucking thing for us.
I think that's fair warning, isn't i?. If you have
any conception
that I fear you or any other shit like that, take it
to email (my
address is open) and I'll be happy to rip you to confetti
and scatter
you to the four winds. But, and I mean it, having warned
you several
times, take it out of a.t.
Severally and individually, I hope that when the cancer
bites, you die
unsupported with the sniggering nurse waving the morphine
injection
before yor dying faces. You bore me. Get the hell
out of a.t.
--
Semolina Pilchard
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Jarto <sjSPAMj@hollwNOTith.fsnWELCOMEet.co.uk>
Semolina Pilchard <ushat@myactiveware.com> wrote:
>Jarto <sjSPAMj@hollwNOTith.fsnWELCOMEet.co.uk>
wrote:
>It takes a second crack at it before you muster
what passes as your
>thoughts, boiled-brain.
AND.... it takes one to one shitty, but NOT in the same
way that It
takes TWO to know TWO. you wouldn't understand dungball,
its your
normal way of ttthiiinkkkinnng...
>If I fitted in with you or your contemptible kind
I'd saw through my
>throat with a blunt tablespoon. Amend the headers,
please.
i can't stand beggars, i always stamp on em when they
ask for money,
you're a fucking beggar like the rest of 'em, you will
be stamped on.
> We can't
>stand much more of this porridge. I am asking you
formally to take
>this rubbish out of alt.tasteless and leave us alone.
you call your selves tasteless, why, youre nuttin but
a pack of
moaning housewife frenchies who like a bit o' depravity...WELL
THIS IS
A CHURCH OF MACHO-SPAZZ IRONY, or whateverology, or
kill me for that
matter.
>You evidently
>suit each other - god knows why -
"BOB" knows why you are such a fucking loser,
but he's too Gormless to
use USENET.
>but keep your shit to yourself.
>You, nu-monet and the other slack people who insist
on crossposting
>here don't do a fucking thing for us.
hmm, thanks, we like to keep shit to ourselves bucko,
actually, we
like to hold it in, to EXCREMEDITATE.
>I think that's fair warning, isn't i?. If you have
any conception
>that I fear you or any other shit like that, take
it to email (my
>address is open) and I'll be happy to rip you to
confetti and scatter
>you to the four winds.
thanks for that invaluable information frogster!
i'd be quite happy to oblige.
>But, and I mean it, having warned you several
>times, take it out of a.t.
>Severally and individually, I hope that when the
cancer bites, you die
>unsupported with the sniggering nurse waving the
morphine injection
>before yor dying faces. You bore me. Get the hell
out of a.t.
i hope that someday you contract colon cancer, and you
can't shit, so
bad you have to hold in, hold it in the point of extreme
pain (have
you seen little babies with that?) and the shit spreads
thru your
weedy little pygmy pink body, and then it comes out
of your mouth, and
you explode like a fucking nuclear device, or something....hey,
wait a
minit, didn't that already happen??????????????????
Well SILLY mE! damn, i'm always an idiot for makin
mistakes.. gee iam
sorry.
There is still time...
---
Jarto
"I'll not drink to that!" - Stang
"SLACK through HATE is not an unreasonable expectation."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Major Dickslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>
Semolina Pilchard wrote:
> If I fitted in with you or your contemptible kind
I'd saw through my
> throat with a blunt tablespoon. Amend the headers,
please. We can't
> stand much more of this porridge. I am asking
you formally to take
> this rubbish out of alt.tasteless and leave us
alone. You evidently
> suit each other - god knows why - but keep your
shit to yourself.
> You, nu-monet and the other slack people who insist
on crossposting
> here don't do a fucking thing for us.
>
> I think that's fair warning, isn't i?. If you
have any conception
> that I fear you or any other shit like that, take
it to email (my
> address is open) and I'll be happy to rip you to
confetti and scatter
> you to the four winds. But, and I mean it, having
warned you several
> times, take it out of a.t.
>
> Severally and individually, I hope that when the
cancer bites, you die
> unsupported with the sniggering nurse waving the
morphine injection
> before yor dying faces. You bore me. Get the
hell out of a.t.
> --
> Semolina Pilchard
YEAH! Get the hell out of Semolina Pilchard's newsgroup.
Semolina
Pilchard, and whoever constitutes "we," haS
WARNED your ass. You have
been WARNED. You better not even WONDER what happens
to people who
ignore the warnings of MY HERO Semolina Pilchard! BAD
BAD THINGS.
You would be better off just "taking it to email"
and getting "ripped
to confetti" than to continue to ignore the WARNINGS
of Semolina
Pilchard not to post to Semolina Pilchard's group.
Little man.
Semolina Pilchard has ASKED NICELY, Semolina Pilchard
has SAID PLEASE,
and Semolina Pilchard has WARNED YOU. Do not bring
CALAMITY UPON
YOURSELF by not heeding the warnings of MIGHTY MIGHTY
Semolina Pilchard!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Blackout" <blackout@404subgenius.com>
OH MAN YOU FUCKED UP NOW! HE'S GONNA TYPE AT YOU TO *DEATH*!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "nu-monet v5.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>
Semolina Pilchard wrote:
> Or don't. Drown, you cunt.
Pretty weak, Ma'am. You might try lurkin' in
alt.flame for a while if you wish to learn
how to flame. But yer still not scorin'
worth a durn on the tasteless meter.
Here, I'll give you some study links. When you
figure out what might qualify as tasteless, try
and come back with a different name, so you
won't embarass yourself any more.
http://sexylosers.com/
http://www.shemp.com/watersports.html
http://gyral.blackshell.com/sex.html
http://www.neilswaab.com/comics/index.html
http://www.necrobabes.com/index1.html
There. Now you give some back, Ma'am.
--
"I'm not helping the tortoise."
--ICEKNIFE
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Jarto <sjSPAMj@hollwNOTith.fsnWELCOMEet.co.uk>
does he know how to use the internet? listen nu-monet,
you've gotta
stop overestimating our enemies. they haven't fucking
crawled out of
their caves yet, over in alt.tasteful, or whatever.
buy em a damn
typewriter and let em play with it, write an instructional
manual,
etc.
---
Jarto
"I'll not drink to that!" - Stang
"SLACK through HATE is not an unreasonable expectation."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Major Dickslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>
Semolina Pilchard wrote:
> I'm tired of casting pearls
> before swine.
Yeah, me too. I have lots of really funny and interesting
things to
say, like Semolina Pilchard, but I don't say them, like
Semolina
Pilchard, because I am way too cool, like Semolina Pilchard,
and you
all suck.
You are my new Personal Saviour, Semolina Pilchard,
because you are so
cool and funny and witty and creative and intelligent
and superior BUT
REFUSE TO DISPLAY IT IN ANY WAY.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Semolina Pilchard <ushat@myactiveware.com>
"Rev. 11D Meow!" <11dMeow!@madFNORDgelloland.org>
wrote:
Considering, Rev etc, etc. that you're you're too stupid
to quote the
message you imagine, in your fond but foolish way, that
you're
replying to you seem to me me to be an exceptionally
voiceles moron.
Amend the headers. Fuck off.
--
Semolina Pilchard
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Jarto <sjSPAMj@hollwNOTith.fsnWELCOMEet.co.uk>
Semolina Pilchard <ushat@myactiveware.com> wrote:
>"Rev. 11D Meow!" <11dMeow!@madFNORDgelloland.org>
wrote:
>Considering, Rev etc, etc. that you're you're too
stupid to quote the
>message you imagine, in your fond but foolish way,
that you're
>replying to you seem to me me to be an exceptionally
voiceles moron.
Fine matey-o.
"Have I hurt and offended you, little fellow?"
And, no you didn't.
---
Jarto
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Blackout" <blackout@404subgenius.com>
"Semolina Pilchard"
ok frenchy I'll wrassle ya.
delete alt.slack from YOUR headers immediately or I'll
be forced to buy a
plane ticket over to your drunken moldy shithole of
a so-called country and
fill your whining prolapsed ass with acid soaked giant
vietnamese
nightcrawlers and then buttfuck them all out your eyeholes.
or at least pay
half for the goddamn ticket, you cheap motherfucker.
p.s. yeah, stupid fucking thread. and there's nothing
better going on either
side of the trench so put some heart in it if you please.
HELP GET THIS STUPID FUCKING THREAD OUT OF ALT.SLACK!
please send $2 to: P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Semolina Pilchard <ushat@myactiveware.com>
"Blackout" <blackout@404subgenius.com>
wrote:
>ok frenchy I'll wrassle ya.
>
>delete alt.slack from YOUR headers immediately or
I'll be forced to buy a
>plane ticket over to your drunken moldy shithole
of a so-called country and
>fill your whining prolapsed ass with acid soaked
giant vietnamese
>nightcrawlers and then buttfuck them all out your
eyeholes. or at least pay
>half for the goddamn ticket, you cheap motherfucker.
Nah. You do it, and while you're at it, make sure you
get an obedient
tongue to the nether reaches of the underside of my
prepuce. It might
be a little sticky in there, but I'll beat you slightly
less often if
you clean it out, bitch.
Don't buy that ticket, Blackout (what an appropriate
name, as bright
as a -) You'll make your 21 stone sister homeless,
as well as your
three-fingered, guts-outside-of-their-bodies multiply
inbred children
you have together with her. Save the money, keep the
rusty
double-wide.
>
>p.s. yeah, stupid fucking thread. and there's nothing
better going on either
>side of the trench so put some heart in it if you
please.
Heart? Heart, you ball-less cunt? You wouldn't know
heart if it
leapt up and bit you. Take your puerile shit out of
alt.tadteless.
--
Semolina Pilchard
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Major Dickslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>
I agree with this post.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Major Dickslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>
Semolina Pilchard wrote:
> "Rev. 11D Meow!" <11dMeow!@madFNORDgelloland.org>
wrote:
> Considering, Rev etc, etc. that you're you're too
stupid to quote the
> message you imagine, in your fond but foolish way,
that you're
> replying to you seem to me me to be an exceptionally
voiceles moron.
>
> Amend the headers. Fuck off.
YES!!! DO NOT continue to post to Semolina Pilchard's
newsgroup! You
do not have that RIGHT or that PRIVILEGE.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)
Semolina Pilchard <ushat@myactiveware.com> wrote:
> Another vapid cunt consigned to the bozo bin.
I'm not a cunt, I'm a prick.
> Why do these slack bastards keep bothering us with
their childish
> nonesense?
Hey, you're on USENET, complaining from ALT.TASTELESS
and YOU'RE
talking about childish nonsense??? What a douche!
> Why don't they just die of shame for their lack
of cool,
> tastelessness, passing interest or anyhting else
that's worth the
> effort of posting?
SubGeniuses HAVE no shame. Absolutely none. We serve
dog food snow
cones to blind orphans and LAUGH as they choke. If I
can scoop Alpo
into sugar cones, I can easily post drivel to the underdriveleged.
> It escapes me how they can suffer their own group,
> let alone cross-posting to a.t.
I'm not suffering; I enjoy it. I SPIT on your narrow
definition of
"tasteless." You're a disgrace to your own
group and your
tapir-masturbating technique shames yer mama. Didn't
she teach you no
better, worm?
--
HellPope Huey @ hellpopehuey@subgenius.com, C57-D/ae-35/999
Temporal-lobe epilepsy: its what's
for breakfast!
"What do you see here?"
"Several dozen ways to get a staph infection."
- "Everwood"
"I think its called 'power vomiting'...
...I had gum coming out of me they don't even
make anymore."
- "The Drew Carey Show"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>
ONLY what is approved by Semolina Pilchard is acceptable
for posting
in Semolina Pilchard's newsgroup. OBEY SEMOLINA PILCHARD!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Major Dickslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>
HellPopeHuey wrote:
> David Hasslehoff as "Nick Fury, Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.."
Right. Next,
> let's cast Roseanne as Mary, Queen of Scots, Gary
Coleman as Hannibal
> or Carrot Top as Captain America. Man, what a stench.
Discuss.
Huey you really need to find a better video store.
OR A BRAIN. What
are you, STUPID OR SOMETHING to watch something like
that and expect
it NOT to suck?
Original file name: Movies That REALLY S#1AD1BD.txt - converted on Saturday, 25 September 2004, 02:05
This page was created using TextToHTML. TextToHTML is a free software for Macintosh and is (c) 1995,1996 by Kris Coppieters