Jesus should have arisen with a thirst for brains.

From: "Alliekatt" <alleykatzen@hotmail.com>
Date: Sun, Mar 21, 2004

I really think that would have boosted ticket sales for "Passion". I mean,
a movie about the undead is a movie about the undead. How the undead
subject dies and is arisen, is not nearly as interesting as seeing the
carnage, disembowelment, and spattered brains that the undead subject brings
about in its wake.

I mean, it would be so C00L to see a Jesus movie that has this undead Jesus
Freddyesque zombie manipulating the arms of crusaders to tear out the lungs
of turks. Cut to the inquisition scene where the undead zombie Jesus
possesses the inquisitor, and slices and disembowels a heretic female witch
from cervix to sternum...who confessed to shagging the devil as red hot
needles were driven under her fingernails. Be sure to get titties in the
scene. THEN cut to the missionary who fucks some clueless Indian girl and
little Jesii syphiloid worms start eating out her brain...make it yummy.

Film that and it would hit "Dawn of the Dead" where it hurts!

http://www.cnn.com/2004/SHOWBIZ/Movies/03/21/us.box.office.ap/index.html

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From: Blue Iris <blueiris@192.168.1.22>

Personally I have allways wanted to see the big JC ram his hand up
someone's ass and use them like a sock puppet. When I was very young my
grand father gave me a jesus hand puppet and it just felt kinda weird
getting wrist deep in the "host with the most" ya dig daddy-o?
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| _ \ | || / -_)| || '_| (_-< | finger:blueiris@nym.alias.net |
|___/_|\_,_\___|___|_| |_/__/ |__non-PGP'd mesgs rejected by server___|

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From: "nu-monet v6.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>

Alliekatt wrote:
> I really think that would have boosted ticket
> sales for "Passion". I mean, a movie about
> the undead is a movie about the undead.

several possibilities here:

1) Jesus could be severely conflicted here. He
knows that eating brains is *wrong*, but he is
agonizingly hungry.

2) Maybe the only way his disciples can keep him
at bay is by waving cruxifixes at him, like a
vampire.

3) He can't die, even when they chop him into
pieces. The only thing they can figure to do to
ease his suffering is to eat his body and drink
his blood. They will digest him to death. Then,
like their shit ascends to heaven. When shit
Jesus gets there, his dad is like, "What the HELL
happened to you? I send you to Earth to conquer
and enslave humanity, and they kill you and EAT
you? Me, you're a wimp!"

--
Rev. nu-monet
Founder and High Priest
Church of Kali, U.S.A. (Reformed)

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Original file name: Jesus should have ar#1AD1B5.txt - converted on Saturday, 25 September 2004, 02:05