I, Robot

From: spiffy <thatsright@excite.com>
Date: Sun, Jul 11, 2004

My ass squinches up every time I see an ad for this BULLSHIT. I'll be
rooting for the robots. I HOPE TO FUCKING CHRIST THAT THE ROBOTS KILL
WILL SMITH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK EVERYONE ASSOCIATED WITH THIS
GODDAMN FUCKING PILE OF SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Cardinal Vertigo <vertigo@alexandria.cc>

You can find out now by reading the book (ISBN 0553294385).

--
"The only thing that saves us from the bureaucracy is inefficiency.
An efficient bureaucracy is the greatest threat to liberty."
- Eugene McCarthy

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From: spiffy <thatsright@excite.com>

I read the book. That's why the ads for the movie make me PUKE STALE
PISS OUT OF MY ASS!!!!!!!!!!!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Cardinal Vertigo <vertigo@alexandria.cc>

Gotcha.

--
"If this were a dictatorship, it'd be a heck of a lot easier, just as
long as I'm the dictator."
- George W. Bush

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: mshotz@aol.commonkeypo (Rev. Richard Skull)

>>spiffy wrote:
>I read the book. That's why the ads for the movie make me PUKE STALE
>PISS OUT OF MY ASS!!!!!!!!!!!

So when will Will Smith's new I, Robot" rap song be relased. It will be
availible on the Record label owned by the studio that bought the book.

About the only common thread between this movie anad the book will be the
presence of a robot.

MSHOTZ: The Post Post Modern Man

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: mshotz@aol.commonkeypo (Rev. Richard Skull)

>My ass squinches up every time I see an ad for this BULLSHIT. I'll be
>rooting for the robots. I HOPE TO FUCKING CHRIST THAT THE ROBOTS KILL
>WILL SMITH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK EVERYONE ASSOCIATED WITH THIS
>GODDAMN FUCKING PILE OF SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was rooting for the Apes in the Planet of the Apes, and the others in hte
Theater got angry at me! Gees, Pinks everywhere!

MSHOTZ: The Post Post Modern Man

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "nu-monet v7.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>

It was years ago that somebody pointed out to me
that Azimov's writing don't lend themselves to
movies. That is why there have been so few of his
popular stories have been done, and those that have
generally suck.

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001920/

His writing style is "...and then he, and then he,
and then he, and then he...", with few scenes long
enough to be movie scenes.

When they made Bicentennial Man, they busted their
ass to make it like the book, and it comes across
as terribly choppy.

The other big movie that nobody saw was "Nightfall",
which was a mind-expanding, gripping story that went
ka-flop. It looked like it was filmed at a Taos
art colony, and needed serious actors to convey the
drama of the thing, which it didn't have.

The best hope for future Asimov movies lies in them
getting some top of the line SF writer to do the
screenplay.

An excellent prospect would be The End of Eternity,
which could really be fleshed out nicely, kind of
like The Butterfly Effect that relied on acting more
than silly extremes and f/x.

--
"Mars was destroyed with weapons from the future.
There, does that make you feel any better?"
-- nu-monet

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Paul Jamison" <pjamison2@cox.net>

[judicious snipperage - I tend to agree with what I'm cutting out, anyway]

"nu-monet v7.0" <nothing@succeeds.com> wrote:
> spiffy wrote:
> >
> > My ass squinches up every time I see an
> > ad for this BULLSHIT.
>
> It was years ago that somebody pointed out to me
> that Azimov's writing don't lend themselves to
> movies. That is why there have been so few of his
> popular stories have been done, and those that have
> generally suck.
>
> http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001920/
>
> His writing style is "...and then he, and then he,
> and then he, and then he...", with few scenes long
> enough to be movie scenes.

One thing that Dr. Asimov pointed out himself about his own
writing that may make difficulties with transition to the movies
is the way he wrote his villains. He was no good at creating
a two-dimensional, mustache-twirling nasty person that you
can feel comfortable booing and hissing. He tended to give
his bad guys undertandable motivations for their actions and
made them halfway sympathetic characters. Not good
cinema material.

> The best hope for future Asimov movies lies in them
> getting some top of the line SF writer to do the
> screenplay.

"Bob" knows it's been tried. Several years back, while
Dr. Asimov was still alive, they started work on a movie
based on "I, Robot" - much more closely based on it than
the Will Smith abomination-to-be. The screenplay was
written by none other than Harlan Ellison, with Asimov's
full approval. I've read the screenplay; it was published in
"Asimov's Science Fiction Magazine", and Ellison put a
little bit of an "edge" on the story without changing it
substantially. Nothing ever came of this, and I'm not sure
why. Given that Harlan Ellison is a creature whose natural
habitat is hot water, I can guess.

> An excellent prospect would be The End of Eternity,
> which could really be fleshed out nicely, kind of
> like The Butterfly Effect that relied on acting more
> than silly extremes and f/x.

But, but, but... Science Fiction is *nothing* without splashy
ee-fects. Hollywood says so, so it must be true.

Paul

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "nu-monet v7.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>

Paul Jamison wrote:
> But, but, but... Science Fiction is *nothing*
> without splashy ee-fects. Hollywood says so,
> so it must be true.

So far THIS YEAR, between its five big pictures,
The Alamo, King Arthur, Around the World in 80
Days, Hidalgo and The Ladykillers, Disney is in
the RED about 400 FUCKING MILLION DOLLARS.

Really. File it under the heading of "Is Eisner
a totally insane idiot and only hires other
totally insane idiots to come up with picture
concepts?"

I about shat when they decided to make The Alamo
based on the idea that they SHOULD BASH THE GOOD
GUYS, actually intending to make the Texans look
like assholes! Again, really. Some IMBECILE
convinced Eisner that they should blow off the
US market and make their money with an ANTI-US
film in the overseas market! "The Japanese will
love it if Buffalo Bill or whoever that guy is
is gay! Maybe it should be a comedy! Bicycle
sandwich! Beep Beep! Margaret!"

Which goes some way in explaining why the movie
had an opening b.o. slightly higher than Gigli,
ON A ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY MILLION DOLLAR
BUDGET!!!

Cheezus kEY-REIST. Give Rev Stang $170M and
ON HIS OWN he will give you a movie that at
least makes HALF of its money back! And that's
if he has to do it ALL himself. Let him have
actors and shit and he will prolly break even.

If I was Eisner, I would call a BIG staff meet,
then have the assembled HOSED with a .50 cal
machine gun. Nobody with a tie exits alive
kinda shit.

Give my BEST director a budget of $10M and tell
him to TRIPLE it or he's fired. If he does,
then give him another budget of $20M and see if
he can do a two-fer. Once the sodomite earns
at least a BILLION for the studio, then let him
spend around $50M for a MAJOR motion picture.

If he can't do that without fucking up, then
he's fired.

--
Baksheesh makes the world go round.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Joe Cosby <http://joecosby.com/code/mail.pl>

"Paul Jamison" <pjamison2@cox.net> wrote:

>> An excellent prospect would be The End of Eternity,
>> which could really be fleshed out nicely, kind of
>> like The Butterfly Effect that relied on acting more
>> than silly extremes and f/x.

>But, but, but... Science Fiction is *nothing* without splashy
>ee-fects. Hollywood says so, so it must be true.

Adding CGI to a movie nowadays is like adding extra lettuce and
tomatoes to a mcdonald's hamburger. It doesn't cost much and it helps
sell burgers.

I love good CGI, but a lot of science fiction CGI these days is
getting real stupid, IMO.

"Minority Report" was the first time that I saw a science fiction
movie where the CGI not only didn't help the movie, but I found it
downright annoying.

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.com/
"Why is psychology 3-dimensional?"
"Because space is 3-dimensional."
- George Hammond, unmedicated visionary

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Father Haskell <frahaskell@hell.gov>

nu-monet v7.0 wrote:
> spiffy wrote:
> >
> > My ass squinches up every time I see an
> > ad for this BULLSHIT.
>
> It was years ago that somebody pointed out to me
> that Azimov's writing don't lend themselves to
> movies. That is why there have been so few of his
> popular stories have been done, and those that have
> generally suck.
>
> http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001920/
>
> His writing style is "...and then he, and then he,
> and then he, and then he...", with few scenes long
> enough to be movie scenes.

Feh. Nothing that Racquel Welch being group-groped by
a swarm of antibodies won't fix.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: glassgnost <glassgnost@nospam.sbcglobal.net>

spiffy wrote:
> My ass squinches up every time I see an ad for this BULLSHIT. I'll be
> rooting for the robots. I HOPE TO FUCKING CHRIST THAT THE ROBOTS KILL
> WILL SMITH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK EVERYONE ASSOCIATED WITH THIS
> GODDAMN FUCKING PILE OF SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How far into the movie does Will Smith discover that he's a robot too,
only with false memory imlpants?

--
Mystical RevvedErrand Doktor glassnost
the furious, mysterious and oh so serious
Seer of the r-r-r-Reeking Taco of Destiny

The world is full of Kings and Queens
Who blind your eyes and steal your dreams
It's Heaven and Hell -- Black Sabbath

If there's a new way I'll be the first in line
It better work this time -- Megadeth

Stick around while the clown who is sick
does the trick of disaster -- Neil Young

http://www.subgenius.com

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Original file name: I, Robot.txt - converted on Saturday, 25 September 2004, 02:05