From: nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>
Date: Sun, Dec 14, 2003
There really is some sort of mind parasite that makes
people stupid so
they accept empty episodic spectacle punctuated by clumsy
sentimentality as being brilliantly creative.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com>
Finding Nemo has made $339 million in 7 months while
Colin Wilson's
books probably don't even pay his rent, although they
do bring him the
adolation of a geek fandom with varying levels of mental
health.
Proving that you can be right and still stupid.
--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com
It's like the bumper sticker, "Think Globally,
Act Locally".
When I think globally I get depressed.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: mshotz@aol.commonkeypo (Rev. Richard Skull)
Nenslo is just trying to cover up the fact he cried through the whole movie.
Hey NEW movie idea!
Not-Finding Nenslo!
Yes, Nenslo is missing and all the Sub-G's (and Mrs
Nenslo, who for the first
time in years, can sleep in a dry bed all night) try
to convince everyone NOT
to look for him.
The Movie ends when Nenlso wanders back into town just
as Mrs. Nenslo set fire
to all his worldy possesion.
MSHOTZ: The Post Post Modern Man
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "iDRMRSR" <idrmrsr@subgenius.com>
A while back, I did post a FINDING NENSLO pic to alt.binaries.slack.
On this very historic day, I felt it was necessary to
point this out for the
record.
Thank you.
[*]
-----
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com> wrote:
> ALSO SPRACH nenslo:
> >There really is some sort of mind parasite
that makes people stupid so
> >they accept empty episodic spectacle punctuated
by clumsy
> >sentimentality as being brilliantly creative.
I think that parasite is called "BEER and POT."
> Finding Nemo has made $339 million in 7 months
while Colin Wilson's
> books probably don't even pay his rent, although
they do bring him the
> adolation of a geek fandom with varying levels
of mental health.
>
> Proving that you can be right and still stupid.
I opened my devival rants the last three times with
the qualifier,
"Just because a statement is correct doesn't mean
that it's a smart
thing to say." Followed by a bunch of statements
which are technically
quite incorrect, but yet somehow come out seeming true
when taken all
at once. At least, true enough to some people. Possibly
just the ones
on beer and pot, I dunno.
Another big difference between any of our statements
and the movie
"Finding Nemo" is that the movie is visually
stunning from end to end.
I dunno who was calling that movie "briloliantly
creative," but I would
have to agree with the ones who say it LOOKS great.
Also, you can take a kid to see Finding Nemo.
Personally I enjoyed the movie, identified with the
characters just
enough, and felt like my computer's downloading time
had been well
spent. I have never read a review of it that called
it "brilliantly
creative," though.
People have, however, called the Matrix movie series
"brilliantly
creative," whereas to me it's a high budget bunch
of badfilms. The
first one had that GREAT CONCEPT, but by the end of
the final
installment, it was "RETURN OF THE JEDI" all
over again. The Ewoks are
dancing happily in the trees, and Darth Vader has suddenly
become a
kindly ghost who will free everyone.
Seriously, if you want to bitch about overhyped garbage,
leave the
children's films to the children, and bitch about the
fucking Matrix
shit, which really is called "brilliant".
The fight scenes in the new Matrix had me WAY TOO FREQUENTLY
LAUGHING
INAPPROPRIATELY at the silly overkill, conveniently
shifting rules, and
almost Keystone Kops-like visuals. Even sillier (yet
almost painful) is
the "heavy" dialog, or series of monologs
rather, with the juvenile
high school philosophy lessons muttered ponderously
by determinedly
LEADEN characters. The whole thing started out so promising,
but ended
up like a damn Saturday morning kid's TV show.
The LIVING TORNADO-LIKE "RIVERS" of AIRBORNE
MECHASQUID MONSTERS were a
nifty special effects for the first 5 seconds of it.
The ensuing half
hour of that same special effect, combined with every
battle scene in
every war movie ever made all going on in one scene
all at once, did
not make the movie more exciting for me. The best thing
I can say about
it is that it made me laugh a few times at the transparency
of the
whole top-heavy mess before it put me almost to sleep.
And the final
confrontation between Smith and Neo might as well have
been Punch and
Judy figures being jerked back and forth on puppet strings
for all the
emotional impact it had. Any feeling the Matrix series
had originally
was buried WAY down deep underneath all the style and
flash.
Alfred Hitchcock could get much more suspense out of
a shot of a man
sitting at a table reading a newspaper, simply by cutting
to a shot of
a TICKING TIME BIMB underneath the man's chair, and
then cutting back
to the man reading the newspaper. There's more suspense
built into the
juxtaposition of those two simple, mundane shots than
there was in any
of the major Matrix scenes, or, for that matter, in
the whole series.
It all became ABSTRACT. Lost touch.
The second movie ENDED with that Hitchcockian situation
-- two mortal
enemies lying unconscious in the same room; WHO WILL
AWAKEN FIRST? But
that cliffhanger was the last bit of intelligence displayed
in the
script, as far as I can tell.
When they resolved that particular little cliffhanger,
they blew it.
The human who's been possessed by Agent Smith... ranting
at Neo in
EXACTLY Agent Smith's voice, the audience has long since
recognized
those inflections, hell, nobody else but Rod Serling
talks that way --
but due to Scriptwriter's Convenience, somehow our Messiah,
Neo,
doesn't recognize that BLATANT FACT until he's got his
EYES BLOWN OUT,
and it's TOO LATE to do anything but rip off Frank Herbert
and Children
of Dune for the rest of this swiftly deflating balloon
of a movie.
So, Nenslo, if you want to bitch about how childish
and stupid
something is, stop going to children's movies and attend
some "ADULT"
movies. You'll have much better REASON to bitch.
--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath
of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
PRABOB
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Jarto <jarto@difu.com>
"Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> wrote:
>Also, you can take a kid to see Finding Nemo.
Yikes, I heard that my 3 year old nephew ran out of
the cinema when he
was taken to see it. Maybe he's just part of the minority.
Not a bad
thing.
>The fight scenes in the new Matrix had me WAY TOO
FREQUENTLY LAUGHING
>INAPPROPRIATELY at the silly overkill, conveniently
shifting rules, and
>almost Keystone Kops-like visuals. Even sillier
(yet almost painful) is
>the "heavy" dialog, or series of monologs
rather, with the juvenile
>high school philosophy lessons muttered ponderously
by determinedly
>LEADEN characters. The whole thing started out so
promising, but ended
>up like a damn Saturday morning kid's TV show.
Philosophy should not be introduced to dumb 14 year
old kids.
Fullstop. Either via grandiose kung-fu flicks or boring
looking
books. But they wouldn't get it if you said to them
that it was
mentioned in the Matrix trilogy anyway.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "iDRMRSR" <idrmrsr@subgenius.com>
Sigh! Then neither one of {Stang, NENSLO} would especially
appreciate two
of the movies I took my Little Mister Sister to lately.
First, GOOD BOY, which features one SNL alum as the
dad of a kid who
discovers a stray dog that is actually a minion of the
Great Dane on some
planet a long long ways away. I guess there is nothing
in that flick which
is original or brilliant, but it sure entertained an
autistic 13 YO on home
furlough. To be fair, there were some good FART jokes
at least.
Second, ELF, which features yet another SNL alum as
a mature human who was
raised by elfs in the North Pole and who is the illegitimate
kid of James
Caan. Ed Asner, the filthy liberal pinko Hollywood
communist actor, played
Santa Claus, but he looks far too old and decrepit to
be believable. And
there was no way he could advance the liberal agenda
from the sleigh, as he
wasted precious fuel to distribute unneeded items to
children of privilege,
who were neither unhappy nor poor.
ELF did however break movie making history because there
is one scene where
they actually get James Caan, Sonny from the Godfather,
Thief, and Johathon
from Rollerball, to sit there and shed tears as he sings
a Christmas Carol.
I think that alone should qualify for an Oscar. To
me, that was the REAL
climax of the movie, even though it did have another
more SFX powered
predictable ending.
So that's two Saturdays I spent in a theater without
seeing a single tit.
Oh wait, there was a pooch with a nice rack in GOOD
BOY. And in neither
case did I get my proper share of the damn $22.50 worth
of popcorn I bought.
But that's OK, I love my kid, and he loves the popcorn,
the $35 diet coke,
sitting close to daddy, and oh yeah, the stuff on the
screen (when it's not
too boring). And being able to laugh his ass off without
being told to shut
up (except at the last Bean movie where he almost got
thrown out until the
usher realized he was special).
And I GAYRONTEE neither one of you would like the movie
The Royal
Tenenbaums, with Gene Hackman as the pater familia of
a bunch of genius kids
that hate him after they grow up. Even though the music
was done by our own
Mark Muthersbaugh. Glad I bought that from HALF.COM
and it won't be too
long before I turn it in to Half Price Books for whatever
they are willing
to give me.
So you see, there are bad movies and worse movies, and
then it drops off
sharply from there!
[*]
-----
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
> >simply by cutting to a shot of
> >a TICKING TIME BIMB underneath the man's chair,
and then cutting back
Now I'm wondering about this TIME BIMB that I mentioned.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
iDRMRSR <idrmrsr@subgenius.com> wrote:
> So you see, there are bad movies and worse movies,
and then it drops off
> sharply from there!
I started to watch a the new remake of THE TEXAS CHAINSAW
MASSACRE,
but, I swear to Grobbs, I stopped watching after the
first 20 minutes
because it was scaring me too much. And they hadn't
even shown any
crazy murderers, just young 1970s Texans JUST LIKE I
USED TO BE.
Creeped me out totally. Well, the crazy hitchiker girl
did pull the gun
out of her vagina and then blow her own brains out,
in the back seat.
But it wasn't that which creeped me out, so much as
the background
music the youths were playing on the radio in their
hippie van... and
their lingo... details like that. It was a hideous
nightmare even
before anything bad happened.
28 DAYS LATER was creepy too, for instance, but it didn't
gross me out
nearly as much because it was just happening to modern
day Englishmen,
and they weren't listening to The Doobie Brothers.
I am only talking about movies because I'm putting off
the transfering
and editing of a whole massive shitload of old and new
videotapes of
SubGeniusly subject matter. Once I start it's gonna
be REAL hard to
stop. I knew this would happen when I finally got video
editing
capability again. I also have all this Christmasly commercial
SubG
website and product work I'm supposed to do QUICK, but...
the video
geekery... I CAN'T STOP. I can animate and edit AT THE
SAME TIME... BUT
I CANNOT STOP. Not once I start. It's like going on
a drinking binge or
a speed run. I've been taking care of business and trying
to do the
NON-VIDEO STUFF but... it HURTS... in the last 3 days
I finished the
NEXT to last finished touches on EIGHT new or new-old
SubG media
projects... I just need to make the BOX ART and little
CATALOG BLURBS
and they're done. But then I started the transfering
of the devival
stuff. I HAVE TO RETURN THE BORROWED DV CAMERA, you
see. That's my
other excuse. And... it's like drinking a bowl full
of okra slime. It's
all one connected piece really, so once you start swallowing,
you have
to continue swallowing until the whole slime-string
is swallowed.
That's the way this video work is. Plus I have to rebuild
my whole
office configuration each time I shift from one medium
to another, so,
we try to do everything in assembly-line like shifts.
What I'm saying
is, if I'm not back in a week, send someone in after
me.
--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath
of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
PRABOB
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com>
ALSO SPRACH Rev. Ivan Stang:
>Alfred Hitchcock could get much more suspense out
of a shot of a man
>sitting at a table reading a newspaper, simply by
cutting to a shot of
>a TICKING TIME BIMB underneath the man's chair,
You're thinking of Inspector Clouseau.
--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com
"We all know what the marriage penalty is:
no oral sex."
- Bill Maher
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com>
ALSO SPRACH Rev. Ivan Stang:
>So, Nenslo, if you want to bitch about how childish
and stupid
>something is, stop going to children's movies and
attend some "ADULT"
>movies. You'll have much better REASON to bitch.
I haven't seen the third matrix yet but after the second
one I am not
looking forward to it.
I didn't quite get to cult worship status with the first
one but I was
very impressed with it. The thing is, it's the IDEAS
that make it a
good movie. The whole thing of Neo making the transition
from the
supposedly real world to the real world is what gave
the movie all of
it's power.
I was not optimistic about the second one, even before
I saw it,
because they had already blown their one good idea,
so what are they
supposed to do now?
The idea of Neo going back to the real world, knowing
now that he is
something above and beyond it, was powerful, FOR A WHILE.
Eventually
though it just sinks in, and you take it for granted,
like a video
game. OK the real world is actually a computer program.
Gotit. What
now?
But there was no what now.
It's like the joke in Spinal Tap. "It's not ten.
You see, most
blokes, you know, will be playing at ten. You're on
ten here, all the
way up, all the way up, all the way up, you're on ten
on your guitar.
Where can you go from there? Where? "
I remember before the second matrix came out, the Wachowskis
were
talking big about how it would be as much better than
the first matrix
as the first matrix was good (or whatever). And I really
hoped it
would be, but it was pretty obvious that they were talking
mostly
about the special effects.
But you can have all the special effects in the world
and end up with
something as stupid as Robocop if you don't have a story.
And they
had already taken the Matrix up to 11 and had nowhere
left to go.
--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com
"Guns don't kill Nenslo-- people kill Nenslo."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>
"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
> Another big difference between any of our statements
and the movie
> "Finding Nemo" is that the movie is visually
stunning from end to end.
> I dunno who was calling that movie "briloliantly
creative," but I would
> have to agree with the ones who say it LOOKS great.
An hour and a half of empty spectacle is no substitute
for even ten
minutes of plot, which FN lacked. Ever meet a person
of your
preferred sex who was somehow EXACTLY WHAT THE DOCTOR
ORDERED until
the tragic moment that they SPOKE? That's even worse
than just
meeting someone you don't care for.
None of the visceral spectacle advanced the story -
in fact they
distracted and detracted from it. It was just one "look
what I can
do" after another, without an actual MOVIE for
it to be in. When it
was over, Mrs. Nenslo and I just looked sadly at each
other and said,
"Too bad." We liked Monsters Inc., except
for that one pointlessly
extended chase scene, but we are still agreed that of
all the Pixar
movies, A Bug's Life had the best constructed story
- characters who
contributed to the progress of the plot instead of interrupting
it
with pointless asides and screaming thrill-ride spectacles
in which
characters repeatedly almost have something happen to
them, like
clockwork, every ten minutes, and every major character
has their own
"is he dead? no he isn't" scene.
> Also, you can take a kid to see Finding Nemo.
You can SEND a kid to see Finding Nemo.
At least I got it from the library for free.
> So, Nenslo, if you want to bitch about how childish
and stupid
> something is, stop going to children's movies and
attend some "ADULT"
> movies. You'll have much better REASON to bitch.
Exactly. I find that movies intended primarily for
children have a
much greater likelihood of being fairly intelligent.
People tend to
try to feed their children well even if they shovel
all kinds of
garbage into their own systems.
I'm not bitching about how childish it was, because
it wasn't
childish, it was poorly adult. It was the kind of stuff
highly
skilled dull-normal adults make for children, with Message
Moments
that should have had a flashing red screen preceding
them so you could
close your eyes and plug your ears ahead of time.
A good story is one that makes you want to know what
happens next. I
started this thread in the first place to try to stimulate
discussion
of what constitutes a good story and the difference
between story and
spectacle.
I enjoyed your Matrix critique, even though I snipped
it above. I
felt that the first movie was one whole piece in and
of itself and
knew there was no reason for me to see tacked-on followups
which
existed only to create more pointless flashing lights
and rumbling
noises to suck money out of people's wallets. I admit
that I was
decieved by the uniformly favorable response to Finding
Nemo, but it
has inspired me despite itself. As I have said before,
the one thing
that got me to spend money to see The Matrix in a theater
was hearing
an interview with one of the special effects guys, who
said, "We made
sure that every effect advanced the plot." That
is so rare, I had to
see it for myself. And I had occasion to contrast it
with The Mummy,
which was released at the same time, in which all story
progress came
to a halt EVERY TIME there was a major effect sequence.
Dark City,
which was similar to The Matrix in many ways, is another
good example
of a well-designed story supported by effects. A well-made
movie has
nothing in it which can be deleted without damaging
the story.
Another recent viewing was John Waters' movie, "Pecker"
of which a
good half of the characters and events in the movie
were filler.
Jack Kirby said, "When you distract the reader, you have lost them."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>
Jarto wrote:
> "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
wrote:
> >Alfred Hitchcock could get much more suspense
out of a shot of a man
> >sitting at a table reading a newspaper,
>
> Hitchcocks the master of suspense.
>
> >simply by cutting to a shot of
> >a TICKING TIME BOMB underneath the man's chair,
and then cutting back
> >to the man reading the newspaper. There's more
suspense built into the
> >juxtaposition of those two simple, mundane
shots than there was in any
> >of the major Matrix scenes, or, for that matter,
in the whole series.
> >It all became ABSTRACT. Lost touch.
Fritz Lang could do the same thing WITHOUT THE TIME
BOMB.
See "Rage" starring Spencer Tracy.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>
> iDRMRSR <idrmrsr@subgenius.com> wrote:
> > And I GAYRONTEE neither one of you would like
the movie The Royal
> > Tenenbaums, with Gene Hackman as the pater
familia of a bunch of genius kids
> > that hate him after they grow up. Even though
the music was done by our own
> > Mark Muthersbaugh. Glad I bought that from
HALF.COM and it won't be too
> > long before I turn it in to Half Price Books
for whatever they are willing
> > to give me.
> >
> > So you see, there are bad movies and worse
movies, and then it drops off
> > sharply from there!
Though I do not normally respond to anything by the
above KILLFILED
HALFWIT FUCKHEAD ASSHOLE, The Royal Tenenbaums also
left wifey and I
giving each other "that look" afterward.
That "Whaaa??" look. It was
as if the sole purpose of the film was to make constant
references to
things which would make critics feel smart because they
had heard of them.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>
"Rev. Richard Skull" wrote:
> >There really is some sort of mind parasite
that makes people stupid so
> >they accept empty episodic spectacle punctuated
by clumsy
> >sentimentality as being brilliantly creative.
>
> Nenslo is just trying to cover up the fact he cried
through the whole movie.
The first five minutes were quite touching. The rest
of it had me
saying, "Come on, just find him and wrap this thing
up."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)
Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com> wrote:
> > you can be right and still stupid.
Pillar #88 of the Church of the SubGenius Handbook
of Justifications.
Larry Larry Moe Curly Larry Moe.
--
HellPope Huey
We never run out of impacted 50s assistant principals
to enter politics and screw things up, do we?
"I think that Colombia should be next on the
list
because if you think thousands of Americans
will fight hard for oil,
imagine how hard they'd fight for a country full
of blow."
- SCOTT THOMPSON
"Its not rocket surgery."
- Eggo commercial
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)
"Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
wrote:
> Now I'm wondering about this TIME BIMB that I mentioned.
That was an unconscious contraction of the term "Time
Bimbo." This is
a woman with whom you develop a certain relationship
that has some
promise early on, but begins to present as the emotional
equivalent of
sweaty crevice cheese. The often-excruciating withdrawal
process
becomes a study in time dilation from which you hopefully
learn a
lesson which allows you to steer clear of the next Time
Bimbo before
you need 10 gallons of acetone to divest yourself of
the appalling
SuperGlue represented by someone who was so wrong for
you, you damned
near deserve the experience for being such a TOOL in
the first place.
Of course, you could have just misspelled it in your
haste to be
amusing. I myself have never done this thing, which
is why I am
laughing at you now. YEAH, RIGHT.
Gee Stang, that could be the seed of a new BadFilm:
"TIME BIMB!" With
a working title like that, it has "suck" written
all over it. It could
be one hell of a mighty, mighty tax write-off. If you
can get Friday
Jones to play a part in it, I will commit, RIGHT HERE
AND NOW, to
playing a palace eunuch, but I demand to be allowed
to wear a foil
appliance over my junk rather than have my PopeThang
displayed for the
abuse of the PhotoShop demons. Is it a deal?
--
HellPope Huey
We never run out of impacted 50s assistant principals
to enter politics and screw things up, do we?
"I think that Colombia should be next on the
list
because if you think thousands of Americans
will fight hard for oil,
imagine how hard they'd fight for a country full
of blow."
- SCOTT THOMPSON
"Its not rocket surgery."
- Eggo commercial
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Artemia Salina <y2k@sheayright.com>
nenslo wrote:
> Rather, my statement was that there
> appears to be a brain parasite which makes people
think lame things
> are great just because they have lots of bright
colors and
> emotional-reaction cues, like a Thomas Kinkade
painting.
"Lame"?? Thomas Kinkade paintings are very popular.
--
"There cannot possibly be a god in heaven watching
all of this calmly."
-- Revi Shankar
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