Crappy Movie Review

From: nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>
Date: Fri, May 9, 2003

I saw the latest piece of crap movie to come out that every other dumb
fuck in america is seeing and I knew it would probably be a piece of
crap and I am either irritated because it was even MORE of a piece of
crap than I thought or surprised that it is slightly less of a piece
of crap than I thought. I never expected a movie made expressly to
appeal to the fantasies of fucking junior high school kids to be as
crappy or as not crappy as it was. I am so fucking surprised because
I am a god damn moron.

There, now you idiots never have to do this again.

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From: "nu-monet v5.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>

But even you had to respect the homage to Eraserhead
they made with that sex scene between Keanu and
Barbara Streisand. The gurgling entrails juxtaposed
on the scenes of his plunging his bloody, oversized
sore-covered meat leg into her saggy, cellulite-covered
anus was high art.

The Britney and Mariah nude mutual feces rubbing
scene was also a winner, especially since they both
really looked like they had diarrhea. And THEN, to
top it off, the F/X of Leonardo DeCapriophile blowing
both their heads off with a shotgun in slo-mo made
the most important political statement of the year.

Not bad for a "feel-good" movie!

--
"If women didn't have a pussy,
there'd be a bounty on them."
-- old southern saying

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From: talysman <talysman@globalsurrealism.com>

you went to see a movie about people fantasizing about fucking
junior high school kids?

hell, I didn't even know there were movies like that. teevee,
yeah -- there was "the wonder years" after all. but most movies
are about fucking high school kids, not junior high kids.

even mary-kate and ashley are in high school now, nenslo.

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From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com>

nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com> wrote:
>There, now you idiots never have to do this again.

"Catch me if you can"

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

Remember D.T. Sasuki's famous eight word lecture at UCLA in the
1960s: --- "Zen Buddhism very hard to understand. Thank you."

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com> wrote:
> I saw the latest piece of crap movie to come out that every other dumb
> fuck in america is seeing and I knew it would probably be a piece of
> crap and I am either irritated because it was even MORE of a piece of
> crap than I thought or surprised that it is slightly less of a piece
> of crap than I thought. I never expected a movie made expressly to
> appeal to the fantasies of fucking junior high school kids to be as
> crappy or as not crappy as it was. I am so fucking surprised because
> I am a god damn moron.
>
> There, now you idiots never have to do this again.

But what was the title? You didn't say the title. What kind of a movie
review is this.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
PRABOB

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From: "nu-monet v5.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>

HE WANTS US TO GUESS!

--
"A stupid movie WILL NOT make you turn
down a blowjob. Simple as that."
-- nu-monet

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From: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)

Um..."Bulgarian Midget Plumper Amputee Hot Monkey Sex Vs. The
Bobbysoxer?"

Well, while Mr. Dobbs requires me to see Badfilms as part of my
ongoing reward/punishment, my real enjoyment comes from my inevitable
encounters with young fuckwits who think the theatre is an extension
of their living rooms.

"I PAID GOOD MONEY TO SEE THIS PIECE OF SHIT AND IF YOU YOUNG
FUCKWITS DON'T STOP TREATING THE THEATRE AS IF IT WAS AN EXTENSION OF
YOUR STANK LIVING ROOM, I'M GONNA TELL THE SHERIFF YOU'VE BEEN
GANG-BOFFING HIS DAUGHTER!!!" Boy, you can sure hear the crickets
after that. It makes it much easier to enjoy the piece of shit. Mr.
Nenslo just doesn't have the right english on it.

"Just check out the politics practiced by this oaf
and if they ain't just right, feed him Confinement Loaf."
- Zappa, "Broadway The Hard Way"

Sometimes only too much is enough.
- Lou Grinzo

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: goldfingerjaws@aol.com (Goldfinger jaws)

>From: "nu-monet v5.0" nothing@succeeds.com
>HE WANTS US TO GUESS!

There is nO "gUessing" and there is no "rEmote vIewIng"!!!

-Rev. KrustyMADfaker reporting something
of the neXt to LaSt iNternaTionAl.

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Original file name: Crappy Movie Review.txt - converted on Saturday, 25 September 2004, 02:05