From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>
Date: Thu, Mar 11, 2004
I was over at iDRMRSR's haunted condo, watching movies
the other night
with him on his Giant Drive-In Size TV. He had just
gotten a DVD
collection of Space 1999 TV show episodes and after
we watched the
great "The Man Who Wasn't There," we mocked
and ridiculed our way
through one of those Space 1999 episodes.
Were those shows really an hour long? Sure seemed like it.
Space 1999 was so bad that even I, a scifi fan, didn't
watch it when it
was new, in the late 60s. Even though I had a MAJOR
BONER for Barbara
Bain -- a BIG Bainer for Babs Bain -- that silver hair
-- the hot
grandma who would blow you to sleep at night -- EVEN
SO, I did not
watch that show after the first episode.
I was reminded why, while watching that DVD at iDRMRSRs,
but I was also
struck with HOW MUCH WORSE it seemed, blown up to this
incredible
resolution on DVD and a big screen.
I'm used to seeing these shows broadcast through the
airwaves and
displayed as a fuzzy black and white image made of a
few hundred lines,
not as full color projections of what might as well
be the original
film stock.
Seeing these shitty sci fi shows as if on a theater
screen allows a
painful level of detail. Those spaceship interiors were
just a mass of
flashing lights, on TV. You didn't look at the flashing
lights, you
looked at Barbara Bain. But now, with shows made for
shitty display
being given sharp and clear display, the flashing control
panels are
all too obviously decorated with the BIG BLOCKY PLASTIC
BUTTONS from
1968 audio mixing consoles and TV effects switchers.
The knobs and
dials are ALL TOO PLAINLY a bunch of cast-off gizmos
off out-dated film
editing machines and reel-to-reel tape recorders.
We knew all that... we knew the sets were flimsy pieces
of shit. It
just wasn't THIS GLARINGLY PLAIN.
The acting and scripts must always have been this terrible,
but when
the cardboard nature of the sets is so clear, the similar
nature of the
acting is somehow rendered even more clearly, too.
The painted "desolate planet" backdrops never
looked THIS hurriedly
painted. Yet they were. We just didn't have DVDs of
them. That
intelligent life form made of rock? Was it SO obviously
a big chunk of
styrofoam, carved up and given warpy bumps with a blowtorch,
spray-painted gold and with EXTRA-BRIGHT LIGHTS shining
up at it from
below -- to make a "glow"? Well, it probably
was. But on TV, your eye
could choose not to see it that way.
In these new-fangled high-tech releases of old-fangled,
low-tech
entertainment, the eye doesn't have as much choice.
What you got is
what you now see.
Last night, instead of watching old movies, or making
new movies, I put
boxes of my old movie ARISE together, with labels and
sleeves, etc. You
might think it would make an old, not very successful
filmmaker a
little bitter to reflect upon the fact that his equally
cheesy, but
actually more intelligent and entertaining film, is
in so little demand
that he makes copies one at a time by hand, while somewhere
there is a
factory mass-producing thousands of copies of the stupidest,
pinkest,
least imaginative, dullest TV shows of the 60s, and
that they are being
bought up by hobbyists and collectors, and all the money
is going, not
to Barbara Bain and Martin Landau, or the dumbass who
created Space
1999, but to some executive fuck who studied contracts
instead of
literature or film making.
But, that would only make one bitter if one was POOR and MISERABLE.
From what I can tell, so far, JUST AS I HAD SUSPECTED
during all those
slackless years might become the case, I HAVE MORE SLACK
sitting here
selling my hand-made goods, like a hippie on The Drag
with his sidewalk
shop, vending bead necklaces he makes when he feels
like making stuff,
than ever I did when I was running around putting music
videos together
and taking phone calls from glad-handing guys in suits.
At least with our movie, ARISE, I don't have to worry
that some day it
will look shittier than it does now, just because it's
being projected
in some new fangled way. EVERY SHOT in "Arise"
PERMANENTLY looks fuzzzy
and cheezy since almost every shot was taken from VHS
or Betamax copies
of something. AND YET -- what's CONTAINED in those hundreds
of short
clips transcends the grainy delivery system, for, fuzzy
or not, the
shots AND THE CONTEXT IN WHICH THEYRE USED are generally
the PUREST
DISTILLATIONS of SOMETHING BULLDADA.
Speaking of bitter old filmmakers, I saw "GODS
AND MONSTERS" last
night, finally. (I lied; I DID watch a movie, but only
after boxing and
labeling my own.) "Gods and Monsters" is a
sort of bio-pic about James
Whale, the director of "The Bride of Frankenstein"
and "The Invisible
Man," among others, and one of my heroes. Gandalf/Magneto
plays the
cantankerous old poofter Whale, who appears to have
been a classic
proto-SubGenius. Born to a poor family, barely surviving
the trenches
in World War 1, somehow his talents and cantankerousness
got him to the
top in Hollywood -- whence bad luck, his own stubbornness
and personal
conflicts with studio bigwigs put him into early retirement.
James Whale, queer, artist and soldier, WAS Jack Griffin,
The Invisible
Man, and WAS Frankenstein's monster, and I guess I must
have realized
that when I saw those movies as a kid. James Whale went
through life
feeling that he belonged dead, that he was permanently
on the outside,
and was living it up in Hollywood on borrowed time --
time maybe
borrowed from the guys who died in the trenches. No
one ever did make
him a bride. But he knew one thing for sure:
"FRAND GOOD."
It's a wonderful movie, very touching, and a must-see
for monster fans
who are themselves artificially created monsters or
monster-creating
mad scientists.
--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath
of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
PRABOB
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>
nu-monet v6.0 <nothing@succeeds.com> wrote:
> Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
> >
> > ...Space 1999 was so bad that even I, a scifi
> > fan, didn't watch it when it was new, in the
> > late 60s...
>
> Mid 1970s. However, you had to have seen it in
> context to really appreciate it. Factors that
> mattered:
That certainly makes more sense. I could swear Mister
Sister said it
was late sixties (he might not have, I might have memory-edited
that)
and I kept thinking, now wait, Mission Impossible was
when I was 15 or
so... 1968 or thereabouts... didn't seem like Space
1999 was so soon
after Mission Impossible.
And yeah, those outfits and sets are PURE 70s. All that
orange and
blue. Cripes. Somebody gave us the complete "I
Love the 70s" or
whatever, on VHS, a special collection for each year,
and I must admit
I keep watching them, unable to tear my eyes away from
the horror. The
horror of the shittiness of THAT show, the '70s TV shows
and pop music,
sure, but more than that the horror of MY OWN MEMORIES
that a clip of
Land of the Lost can evoke. BUMSTACIOUS, TEED! MOST
BUMSTACIOUS!
Like seeing the remake of Texas Chainsaw Massacre recently
and being
more scared by the music they had playing on their van
radio than by
the monster rednecks. It made me remember what *I* was
doing when that
music was playing on MY van radio.
I'll tell you what I was doing.
A JOB FOR SOMEBODY.
Hey there's a guy writing a book about the badfilm director
I worked
for then, S.F. "Brownie" Brownrigg! Not so
much about Brownrigg but
about the whole zoo of Texas badfilm characters who
worked in the 60s
and 70s doing schlock, from Larry Buchanan (MARS NEEDS
WOMEN, DOWN ON
US) to yours truly. This author ended up putting me
back in touch with
an old film-job buddy of mine from HIGH SCHOOL, M___
H____ (He's in my
oldest 16mm films). Hundahl appears to have as many
books worth of
bizarre adventures to tell as I do, or more -- after
he moved to
Hollywood he became involved, not in movies, but in
the HOLLYWOOD ORGY
SCENE. Apparently that stuff in "Eyes Wide Shut"
is a pale
kid's-storybook version of the real thing, orgies of
over a thousand
taking place in hotel ballrooms. Damn. Funny little
monkeys.
Anyway, this book about the early Dallas film business
might actually
be funny as all get-out, which is I think what the guy
is shooting for
now that he's immersed in the legends. I once wrote
an extended article
for D magazine, or Texas Monthly, one of those, about
the Day before my
Day, the weird events surrounding Larry Buchanan's film
career, and I
know it to be fertile soil for true tales of terror.
In fact I've been
trying to find a copy of that fucking article on disk.
It's probably on
SubSITE somewhere but the file name is oddly labeled
or something.
SubSITE is almost 10 years old now.
--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath
of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
PRABOB
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: polar bear <bear@pole.com>
"Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>
wrote:
snip
> And yeah, those outfits and sets are PURE 70s.
All that orange and
> blue. Cripes. Somebody gave us the complete "I
Love the 70s" or
> whatever, on VHS, a special collection for each
year, and I must admit
> I keep watching them, unable to tear my eyes away
from the horror. The
> horror of the shittiness of THAT show, the '70s
TV shows and pop music,
> sure, but more than that the horror of MY OWN MEMORIES
that a clip of
> Land of the Lost can evoke. BUMSTACIOUS, TEED!
MOST BUMSTACIOUS!
A guy in one of those honking great pickup trucks pulled
up beside me
in traffic yesterday. He had Rod Stuarts' Maggie May
going full blast.
Like I said.... get used to it.
pb
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "iDRMRSR" <idrmrsr@subgenius.com>
>>Gerry Anderson productions
Heh heh. I've actually stopped wanking long enough
to have watched all six
episodes of 1999 by now. Stang, it's a pity we watched
that one crummy
episode. If I had picked the next one, or the one after
that, the shows got
better.
Like the next one was about some Space Trader with (honest)
a Jump Drive
into Hyperspace. This fellow was about my size, wore
yellow brocade and
rhinestone full-length capes, and had a lavender beard.
He could appear and
disappear at will using his advanced technology.
He sold his Jump Drive to Landau for a copy of Maya
which they brewed up in
the android lab. I'm jealous, a guy that size in the
first place making
such a stunning fashion statement, and secondly that
he could travel from
here to there simply by twiddling an invisible dial
in mid air. That's damn
handy.
Actually, he was about 100 lbs or so more than me.
I had to ask myself if
he had a Hyperspace asswiper, too, because it was clearly
evident that the
way he was built, that chore would be physically impossible,
unless he could
stretch his arms down to his knees. Or maybe that's
why he wore the capes.
You could drop a stool and walk away without anybody
noticing, then cozy up
in one of those tulip red plastic scoop chairs and wiggle
butt to clean off.
Helps if you have a Hyperspace Dry Cleaner, too.
BUT...just the day after you came over, my PRIZE came
in the mail. YES, I
now have all 20 some episodes of the UFO series! Now
this series WAS made
in the 60's (just barely, 1969 I believe) and was set
in the future, that
is, 1980.
So, like you are seeing a twenty four year old "guess"
at what the 1980's
would look like. Everybody is dressed in a champagne
colored jumpsuit with
an orange, cranberry, or baby blue turtle neck. The
Connietites on the Moon
Base for some reason have PURPLE WIGS.
Now, these are SIXTIES BABES! Not the "two olives
tied to a pencil" look
favored by the anorexics of TODAY! They have BOOBS
and ASSES galore, and
curves and things I had almost forgotten about from
my youth. The skin
tight aluminum and champagne jumpsuits don't take anything
away, either.
Excellent miniatures, too. The only problem is, the
producers keep
repeating the same BOB DAMNED stock shots clipped from
the first episode,
and reassembling them into a new story each time. One
time the UFO goes
down in a spiral of red smoke clockwise. Next week,
it goes down counter
clockwise. No expense was encountered for special effects
after the first
episode.
This series also exhibits another phenomenon that I
just noticed. See, it
is a TV show from about 35 years ago. Not only technology
has changed in
ways the series creators could not have imagined, the
whole fucking world
has changed in their attitudes and so on!
In every episode, the characters smoke and drink whiskey!
Also, there is at
least one person shot/burned ON CAMERA and covered with
kroovy, in every
episode. Even in the episode where the one alien saves
a human's life, they
KILL THE FUCKER anyhow.
Oh, the HORROR! Seems so terribly BRUTAL. Shows how
well the post
Communist propaganda machine has done its job over the
last three or four
decades, though. If it was made TODAY, they'd have
filmed twenty seven
hours of peace negotiations instead.
Heh, we've come a LONG WAY BABY.
[*]
-----
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "ghost" <ghost@ghost.net>
"nu-monet v6.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>
wrote:
(SNIP)
> Bluescreen productions, most notoriously "The
> Starlost", a fascinating premise that burned
> out after like THREE episodes.
Wonderful Ellison recounting of the "Starlost"
abortion in "Ellison
Wonderland".
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: polar bear <bear@pole.com>
"nu-monet v6.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>
wrote:
snip
>
> Bluescreen productions, most notoriously "The
> Starlost", a fascinating premise that burned
> out after like THREE episodes.
24 episodes actually, but only 16 were completed. A
friend of mine,
who later became a producer at CBC, designed and built
the model. (an
entire panzer division of 1/35 scale tanks went into
that thing...lol)
Rachel: "Are those our worlds?"
Devon: "Yes, and somehow the three of us have to
save them."
http://users.snowcrest.net/fox/star.html
http://users.snowcrest.net/fox/star2.html
A interesting account of how a brilliant concept ran
afoul of every
obstacle you can imagine, including that rat-fuck Harlan
Ellison.
Ah.... but what a brilliant metaphor! Amish in Space!
"Do you harbour secret spite against your Elders?"
I mean, where do you get dialog like that in 1973?
That's straight out of Arise!
> Movie influences: "Silent Running",
which
> influenced EVERYTHING for at least a decade.
More excellent space-dada.
I'm sure this is where R2D2 came from.
> 1970s fashions: hilariously, it looks like
> they hired the same designer for "Star Trek,
> The Motion Abortion" or whatever the hell
they
> called the first Star Trek movie. Don'tcha
> just LUV stretch fabrics and plastic accessories?
Get used to it. You're going to see a lot more of that
in the years
ahead. We are about to re-visit the 70's, including
it's most defining
feature: STAGFLATION. Which only proves that if you
hang around long
enough, everything repeats. Even Disco.
> A gay negro computer programmer.
Ray Bradbury wrote the definitive Negros In Space story:
"Way in the
Middle of the Air," part of The Martian Chronicles,
in 1950.
1950!!! Bradbury was so far ahead of his time you needed
warp drive
just to keep up. We read that stuff in 1965, 15 years
later, and it
still blew us away. While other kids were beating themselves
senseless
in after school "sports" we went down to Jaffys'
used books and bought
old sci-fi novels from the 40's and 50's. To really
understand the
60's, you have to read what guys like Bradbury were
writing a decade
earlier.
pb
PS: Two films that were never made but should have been:
Larry Niven - Ring World, and Arthur C Clark - City
and the Stars
---
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "nikolai kingsley" <nikolai@broadway.net.au>
> BUT...just the day after you came over, my PRIZE
came in the mail. YES, I
> now have all 20 some episodes of the UFO series!
i could never figure their flying saucers out. they
spun around while
flying.. or did the outsides spin while the insides
stayed put? or did the
little circular flang-ey details around the edge spin
while the rest of it -
aaaaaaaaaaaaargh.
and i gather there were plans to do a modern re-make
of that series. some
informed Google-ing should find it.
nikolai
---
i wonder when Straker ever found the time
to actually make FILMS.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)
"Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>
wrote:
> I was over at iDRMRSR's haunted condo, watching
movies the other night
> with him on his Giant Drive-In Size TV. He had
just gotten a DVD
> collection of Space 1999 TV show episodes and after
we watched the
> great "The Man Who Wasn't There," we
mocked and ridiculed our way
> through one of those Space 1999 episodes.
> > Were those shows really an hour long? Sure
seemed like it.
..........
> Seeing these shitty sci fi shows as if on a theater
screen allows a
> painful level of detail. Those spaceship interiors
were just a mass of
> flashing lights, on TV. You didn't look at the
flashing lights, you
> looked at Barbara Bain. But now, with shows made
for shitty display
> being given sharp and clear display, the flashing
control panels are
> all too obviously decorated with the BIG BLOCKY
PLASTIC BUTTONS from
> 1968 audio mixing consoles and TV effects switchers.
The knobs and
> dials are ALL TOO PLAINLY a bunch of cast-off gizmos
off out-dated film
> editing machines and reel-to-reel tape recorders.
.................
> We knew all that... we knew the sets were flimsy
pieces of shit. It
> just wasn't THIS GLARINGLY PLAIN.
"Oh, Oz is WAY TOO GREEN! Goddamnit, I wanna kick
Frank L. Baum inna
NUTS!"
Heh, hard to believe you're the same guy who just a
coupla days ago
droolingly posted a URL for a site that sells generally
very SMALL
resin models from classic sci-fi flicks for $100-200
bucks! Right,
like even NOW, I do not have a "Futurama"
Planet Express ship on top
of my TV.
Also semi-difficult for me to believe a pal sold a
4-foot-long
"Space: 1999" Eagle on ebay for $400. However,
aside from actually
enjoying the first season when Barry Morse was in the
cast, "Space:
1999" WAS pretty dismal. When they brought that
shape-changing gal
Maya onboard, I began to develop odd bouts of fungii.
It wasn't even
good BadFilm. Just goes to show you: Never get too close
to the knobs
unless you were already cool with the zipper down the
monster's back.
--
HellPope Huey
Larks Panties In Aspic
"Chinese bras are killing us."
- "The West Wing"
"The most erotic experience I have had in 6
months
was last week's trouser fitting."
- "Frasier"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "NeuroManson" <dogegoops@comcast.net>
Or as some have called it, "Sparse: 1999".
I did love the show as a kid, but
in later years... Of course, as far as TV sci-fi was
concerned, pretty much
EVERY show sucked ass, shy of Serling's Night Gallery.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "nu-monet v6.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>
iDRMRSR wrote:
> >>Gerry Anderson productions
>
> BUT...just the day after you came over, my PRIZE
> came in the mail. YES, I now have all 20 some
> episodes of the UFO series!
What I really, truly liked about the UFO series:
1) Homicidal English. Not British, though they
were ethnically mixed. They were all English,
really. And murderous. And for once, even though
they whined about it incessently, SOMETHING the
English did was fully funded and worked reasonably
well. I guess drinking whiskey rather than beer
is what did it.
2) Damn, by trying to be "Mod", weren't their
fashions like a GAZILLION times better than what
actually happened, the "tough" look? Styled
hair,
even those erotic purple wigs, beveled sideburns,
Nehru jackets, pastel polyesters, metallic fabric,
Beatle and go-go boots, MINI SKIRTS, and cars that
were WAY ahead of DeLoreans. And dingle-fob jewelry
around their necks. When was the last time you saw
a MAN wearing a gaudy necklace?
Don't you WISH that SOMEBODY IN REAL LIFE have worn
this stuff? So you could really be nostalgic about
it, and buy it in stores and still look "Mod"
at
parties, and people could sneer at you but you could
smirk right back and go, "Well, yeah, but they
were
KILLING FUCKING ALIENS when they dressed like this,
so they had a RIGHT to look cool."
3) Why are they trying to kill those aliens? SIMPLE.
BECAUSE THEY ARE TRYING TO KILL, EXPERIMENT ON, AND
OTHERWISE FUCK WITH US. That's good enough for me,
and all you really need to know. Fuck diplomacy.
If they could have figured out where there damn planet
was, they would have nuked it and adios, motherfuckers.
4) NOT A SINGLE GODDAMN MENTION IN THE WHOLE FUCKING
SERIES OF THE AMERICANS, RUSSIANS, OR CHINESE. The
English were going to fight an ENTIRE FUCKING PLANET
and they didn't even ask the US first! Kind of like
fighting Argentina, I guess.
5) Did the submarine girls actually have nipples,
or were they airbrushed out?
--
Trust No One.
Always Look To The Skies.
The Truth Is Not There.
-- nu-monet
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Doktor DynaSoar <targeting@OMCL.mil>
"Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>
wrote:
} I was over at iDRMRSR's haunted condo, watching movies
the other night
} with him on his Giant Drive-In Size TV. He had just
gotten a DVD
} collection of Space 1999 TV show episodes and after
we watched the
} great "The Man Who Wasn't There," we mocked
and ridiculed our way
} through one of those Space 1999 episodes.
}
} Were those shows really an hour long? Sure seemed
like it.
Back then there were 4 two minute commercial breaks.
An hour show was
52 minutes. Now days they're between 42 and 44 minutes.
10 years before "Space 1999" it was common
for a show to state "We'll
be back in 60 seconds".
Back then we had 3 networks plus NET (pre-PBS) and hard
a hard time
deciding which one to watch, and they were all free
to for taking over
the air. Now we pay $50 a month for 100 channels, our
favorite is 80%
crap at best, re-running the same thing several times
a day and week,
and it's damn near one third advertising.
Oh, sure you can get good programming. Watch the old
black and white
shows on Nick at Night. They show the original old commercials
("Where's the beef?") , and damn few of them.
Some of the best stuff
on TV today is 40 years old.
Next step? The FCC is prepared to authorize the "no
copy" flag,
meaning every broadcaster can keep you from taping something
on your
VCR to watch later. After that, they just expand the
equipment that
they've been testing for the last couple years, by providing
things on
demand, and from then on you'll pay for every single
individual show
you watch, each time you watch it. And if the last 40
years is any
indication, it'll all suck worse and worse as time goes
on.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "nu-monet v6.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>
Cardinal Vertigo wrote:
> nu-monet v6.0 wrote:
> > When was the last time you saw
> > a MAN wearing a gaudy necklace?
>
> You don't pay much attention to hip-hop, do you?
NOT THE SAME! That's like comparing nouvelle
quisine to a Big Mac.
Gaudy, not grotesque.
--
"Furthermore, we resent being put in a
position of having to deny something
that is blatantly untrue."
-- ABC News spokesman
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)
"NeuroManson" <dogegoops@comcast.net>
wrote:
> Or as some have called it, "Sparse: 1999".
I did love the show as a kid, but
> in later years... Of course, as far as TV sci-fi
was concerned, pretty much
> EVERY show sucked ass, shy of Serling's Night Gallery.
Say, did anything ever suck more than "Land of
the Giants?" Aside
from Elvis movies, which, strictly speaking, were not
sci-fi?
--
HellPope Huey
Gimme the stuff that squeezes the key nerve bundles
like a drunken Irishman playing
"Whole Lotta Love" on a musette.
The truth is never pure and rarely simple.
- Oscar Wilde
"Life is an endless series of opportunities
to make a fool of yourself."
- "Judging Amy"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "nu-monet v6.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>
HellPopeHuey wrote:
> Say, did anything ever suck more than "Land
of
> the Giants?" Aside from Elvis movies, which,
> strictly speaking, were not sci-fi?
Incredibly hard call:
Space Academy and Jason of Star Command
http://www.70slivekidvid.com/jason.htm
Wonderbug
http://www.70slivekidvid.com/wbug.htm
Electra Woman and Dyna Girl (severe lesbeen alert)
http://www.70slivekidvid.com/ewadg.htm
(Pardon me, I had to stop and throw up at this
point. For further information: )
http://www.magicdragon.com/UltimateSF/tv.html
--
"I'd just like to say I'm sailing with the Rock
and I'll be back like Independence Day with Jesus,
June 6, like the movie, big mothership and all.
I'll be back."
--Executed Serial killer Aileen Wuornos
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com>
"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
> Space 1999
I thought, at the time, they were altogether TOO STUPID
to even watch.
Moon careening through space, my freaking arse. But
last year I got
some tapes from the library and really liked the whole
total disconnect
from anything like believability. It's like seeing
a crazy play, not
looking through a window into another "real world."
The episode where
Koenig achieves Universal Consciousness by passing through
a black hole
is totally cool. Of course if you go watch TV with
a total dumbass you
pretty much have to act like a dumbass to make it enjoyable.
You should
try watching a Space 1999 with a smart person, or even
alone if you
can't find a smart person. If you lie down with dogs
you get up with
fleas. By definition, anybody who has a giant TV like
that IS a
dumbass. Too dumb to do anything but suck down somebody
else's pap. I
just hope he's got one of those La-Z-Boy couches with
the beer cooler in
the arm, the bloated freak. Yeah, I hate that dumb
fucker.
> Seeing these shitty sci fi shows as if on a theater
screen allows a
> painful level of detail. Those spaceship interiors
were just a mass of
> flashing lights, on TV. You didn't look at the
flashing lights, you
> looked at Barbara Bain. But now, with shows made
for shitty display
> being given sharp and clear display, the flashing
control panels are
> all too obviously decorated with the BIG BLOCKY
PLASTIC BUTTONS from
> 1968 audio mixing consoles and TV effects switchers.
The knobs and
> dials are ALL TOO PLAINLY a bunch of cast-off gizmos
off out-dated film
> editing machines and reel-to-reel tape recorders.
That is what's so cool about it. What happened to you
man? YOU USED TO
"GET IT"!
> "GODS AND MONSTERS"
Mrs. N and I saw that with Dr. Howl and permitted him
to explain to us
afterward every single detail that they didn't get quite
right.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>
nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com>wrote:
> "Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
> > Space 1999
>
> I thought, at the time, they were altogether TOO
STUPID to even watch.
> Moon careening through space, my freaking arse.
But last year I got
> some tapes from the library and really liked the
whole total disconnect
> from anything like believability. It's like seeing
a crazy play, not
> looking through a window into another "real
world." The episode where
> Koenig achieves Universal Consciousness by passing
through a black hole
> is totally cool.
"Totally cool" you say.
> Of course if you go watch TV with a total dumbass
you
> pretty much have to act like a dumbass to make
it enjoyable. You should
> try watching a Space 1999 with a smart person,
or even alone if you
> can't find a smart person. If you lie down with
dogs you get up with
> fleas.
Yeah? And? Why the hell else do you think I hang out
in alt.slack in
the first place? Bow wow, Animal Control Officer Nenslo!
> By definition, anybody who has a giant TV like
that IS a
> dumbass. Too dumb to do anything but suck down
somebody else's pap. I
> just hope he's got one of those La-Z-Boy couches
with the beer cooler in
> the arm, the bloated freak. Yeah, I hate that
dumb fucker.
Trying to rile me up. Not this time, Sergeant Janor!
Just this morning I was thinking to myself, that Assassinated
Nenmaster
Nenslo, he's a great artist and really smart about some
things.
And I left it at that.
((Section about Nenslo's friend "Binnie" removed))
Mister Sister might be dumb, like me, and he might be
a fucker, like
you, and I suppose you COULD uncharitably call him somewhat
bloated,
and he himself would agree that he is a freak, and he
does in fact have
one of those very Laz-E Boys you mention, but, nonetheless,
in real
life, he's a swell gent, on the square, and a corkin'
good TV-watchin'
pal. A man of honor. I think your problem is, you've
been watching
shitty movies from the library so much that you now
let some good old
fashioned blunt Midwestern fun-pokin' get your goat.
Or else you're
just jealous as hell of his TV. I know I am. I'm gonna
get me one of
those just as soon as they start showing up in garage
sales. So I can
see my JPEG-Y-LOOKING DOWNLOADED, LOW-RESOLUTION BOOTLEG
MOVIES shot
off a theater screen with a handycam, BLOWN UP TO WALL-SIZED!
"Too dumb to do anything but suck down somebody
else's pap." You know
as well as I do that nobody's too dumb to do anything,
period. The
dumbest idiots in the world can make movies, and write
books, and they
do it all the time. And YOU AND ME BOTH BOUGHT, WATCHED
AND READ THEM!!
So who's the dumb ones, Mister Smarty-Pants.
> > Seeing these shitty sci fi shows as if on
a theater screen allows a
> > painful level of detail. Those spaceship interiors
were just a mass of
> > flashing lights, on TV. You didn't look at
the flashing lights, you
> > looked at Barbara Bain. But now, with shows
made for shitty display
> > being given sharp and clear display, the flashing
control panels are
> > all too obviously decorated with the BIG BLOCKY
PLASTIC BUTTONS from
> > 1968 audio mixing consoles and TV effects
switchers. The knobs and
> > dials are ALL TOO PLAINLY a bunch of cast-off
gizmos off out-dated film
> > editing machines and reel-to-reel tape recorders.
>
> That is what's so cool about it. What happened
to you man? YOU USED TO
> "GET IT"!
Nice try, Nenslo, but you won't get me off THAT easily.
> > "GODS AND MONSTERS"
>
> Mrs. N and I saw that with Dr. Howl and permitted
him to explain to us
> afterward every single detail that they didn't
get quite right.
Now see, I'd probably have enjoyed that, because I share
Dr. Howll's
persnickety fascination with the Universal horror pictures
of that
period and especially James Whale's work. Yet I get
the impression
that you found it tedious.
Why, I guess it "takes all kinds," in this
wacky world! That's my
philosophical way of looking at it.
If only some really diplomatic person could make Nenslo
see that he and
Mister Sister are really "on the same page,"
especially in their
mindless devotion to Dobbs and equally mindless appreciation
of the
insipid Space 1999. Hey, I know just the person! MAGDALEN!
Man, I should become a diplomat MYSELF! Then a matchmaker.
--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath
of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
PRABOB
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "iDRMRSR" <idrmrsr@subgenius.com>
Nenslo:
>>I
just hope he's got one of those La-Z-Boy couches with
the beer cooler in
the arm, the bloated freak. Yeah, I hate that dumb
fucker.
Now you are inspiring me. Gee, I LOVE YOU!
And for the record, I am not DUMB and at the present
time, not a fucker
either. The bloated freak charge, however, still sticks.
Pretty good
batting average, 1 out of 3.
Incidentally, my couch is a RECLINER. One of those
where you just push a
button to get into primary Slack Position. Really,
I have to look into the
cooler option. But my condo is so small, I can actually
walk to the other
end when I need to take a whiz and resupply the num
nums. That's REALLY
small considering my bloated freakiness, but I SO detest
sleeping in the wet
spot that I move often enough to keep the bladder down.
Think of me more as a Yankee HellPope Huey, and you
won't be too far from
wrong.
I do think I have more Slack than you. I can eat as
much of anything that I
want, and do, and have been for prolly longer than you.
Long as I take that
insulin.
[*]
-----
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com>
"iDRMRSR" <idrmrsr@subgenius.com> wrote:
>I do think I have more Slack than you. I can eat
as much of anything that I
>want, and do, and have been for prolly longer than
you. Long as I take that
>insulin.
you have more slack than him in that you do not, like
him, spend half
your time running around trying to find somebody to
feel superior to.
that IMO is as slackless as it gets.
--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com
I've had this hammer 20 years.
I've replaced the handle three times and the head twice.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: ridetheory <ridetheory@notmail.com>
Rev. Ivan Stang at stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com wrote:
> We knew all that... we knew the sets were flimsy
pieces of shit. It
> just wasn't THIS GLARINGLY PLAIN.
These shows were set in the same fictional universe
as the excellent puppet
show "Thunderbirds". In which the sets were
better because they were 1/6
scale, or something, except when someone had to grab
a handle or push a
button -- they would build just that one little part
of a set in full scale
and cut to a shot of a real hand reaching in. Man,
even as a kid who loved
the show, I thought that was funny.
Also, "Space: 1999" (never trust sci-fi with
a colon in the title) is set in
the same fictional universe as "UFO", which
I remember fondly for its future
Mod fashions.
The laser guns in "Space: 1999" looked just
like staple guns. Maybe they
were.
> It's a wonderful movie, very touching, and a must-see
for monster fans
> who are themselves artificially created monsters...
The Cramps.
> ...or monster-creating mad scientists.
Devo.
Plus, Brendan Fraser acts AND takes his shirt off.
Usually he just does
picks his roles in such a way that he won't have to
do both.
iggy topo
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