a remake?

From: "nu-monet v6.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Reply-To: like.excess@sex.org
Date: Thu, Mar 18, 2004 12:40 PM
Message-ID: <4059DF02.3964@succeeds.com>

Pray to "Bob" they don't fuck it up.

http://www.apple.com/trailers/universal/dawnofthedead/

When I was but a child, my aged grandmother told
me a story from the old country, which contained
an ancient warning, "...for you see, it is said that
when Hell is full, the dead shall walk the earth,
smelling very bad and taking all of the better
minimum wage jobs, which will raise the inflation
rate unsupported by increased consumerism; which,
while having a positive effect on the balance of
trade, may impact the renoberation of long-term
bond yields."
-- Dr. Hieronymous Zinn, from the novel

--
THE ETERNAL CONTEST

"God adores filthy, downtrodden wretches,
and covers the Earth with his favorites;
but Mother Nature abhores the ignorant
peasant, and seeks ever creative ways of
reducing their profligate numbers."
--nu-monet

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From: nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com>

Yeah that would be a shame if they remade a movie about blowing zombies'
heads off and didn't do justice to it.

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Subject: Re: a remake?
From: "nu-monet v6.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>

The movie was a classic for its sight gags and stunt
work. If you watch it for inanities and technical
stuff, it's quite funny. They obviously had a blast
making it.

For example, a stunt-zombie steps up on a box into
the rotor of a helicopter, one of the most dangerous
stunts I've ever seen. When the fake 2" of the top
of his head is ripped off, he collapses backwards
onto his safety mat behind the boxes; but the relieved
expression on his face just then is hilarious. He was
obviously scared half to death.

And who can't laugh at a green-faced Hare Krishna
zombie? The guy who gets eaten because he was getting
his blood pressure checked by a machine, leaving the
chewed-off arm behind and a reading of "000" over "000"?
A bunch of zombies stumbling about while listening to
Muzak in a mall?

Best of all, when the heroes stop off at a small redneck
town and they're havin' themselves a BBQ and a Ghoul
Shoot! Yeeha! "Hey, Billy Bob! See that thar zombie
over yonder? Betcha I kin get him at 300 yards! Have
another beer?"

--
Rev. nu-monet
Founder and High Priest
Church of Kali, U.S.A. (Reformed)

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Subject: Re: a remake?
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>

I consider Romero's "Dawn of the Dead"-- specifically that one -- to be
one of THE classic, great movies of all time. Flaws and all. The first
one was scarier, but Dawn is the one that cemented the archetype, and
for good reason. The whole basic concept and the way he handled it are
brilliant. Those funny technical flubs might become noticeable the
third or fourth time you see the movie. To me the original Living Dead
movies are among the best films ever made about panic, and, well, the
end of the world. The panic doesn't require zombies; a hurricane,
volcano, mad bombing can do it. Zombies just push it over into the
realm of metaphor which in an odd way makes the prospect easier to
confront.

The trailer for this new one does look pretty enticing. The mom walking
out her front door to a panorama of impossible disaster sums up the
flavor of the originals -- what do you do when everything suddenly goes
to shit in a totally unexpected way?

A scene in the trailer suggests that there's a still birth scene, which
is prett-ty unnerving if you think about it in the living dead context.
Looks like they may have picked up some ideas from those short story
anthologies of the dead.

Most zombie movies ARE pieces of shit, but there's a reason that
hundreds of them have been made. The basic formula as Romero laid it
down in his first two low budget movies WORKS LIKE GANGBUSTERS.

Romero's third movie stars the loveable zombie "Bob," and it's not
quite as good. "Return of the Living Dead," the comedy -- by Dan
O'Bannon, was it? -- is VERY funny. I haven't seen any rip-offs or
sequels after those that came close, though "28 Days Later" is an
effective variation on the theme.

PRABOB

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From: "ghost" <ghost@ghost.net>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com> wrote(snip)
> Romero's third movie stars the loveable zombie "Bob," <

Bub

"Who's believe a scientist named Bub?"

I agree with you entirely on the rest. The original "DotD" is a classic. The
restored cut released a couple years back is a must-see. Almost too much
good stuff. Not merely metaphor but in-your-face nasty.

Like the little bit where the rogue cop runs around looking for cigarettes,
asking the protagonists in the news chopper if they have any. They say no,
but as the chopper takes off they all whip out smokes and light up.

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Subject: Re: a remake?
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>

I intended to mention that very scene but forgot to. That's one of the
single most blood curdling moments of screen horror in my experience
because it reminds one about those LITTLE things that one takes for
GRANTED, like the next pack of Marlboros.

In one of the Phil Dick post-holocaust novels, Dr. Bloodmoney or Dr.
StrangeBlood or whatever it's called, one of the guys who weathers the
disaster and comes through it fairly well is the guy who was driving a
cigaret delivery truck when the nuclear war started. After the fallout
settles, he's the richest guy in town.

And the Smokers in Waterworld.

Great Tobacco-Hoarders of Post-Nuclear-War Science Fiction Thrillers.

Are you sure it's Bub and not Bob? 'Cause when that movie came out I
sure heard a lot of SubGenii jumping up and down about the "smart"
zombie being named Bob. If it's Bub I won't be jealous. We have a
pretty good Bubhead graphic on standbye.

PRABOB

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From: "ghost" <ghost@ghost.net>

It was just on the Skiffy Channel last Sat., so I was sure it was "Bub"...
but I looked it up on imdb.com and yes, it is listed as "Bub".

BTW, the lead in "Day..." is Lori Cardille, daughter of "Chilly Billy" Bill
Cardille... the reporter in "NotLD" and Pittsburgh host of BOTH Saturday
night wrasslin and late Sat. night "Chiller Theatre". Ahhh... the
memories...

As for the "Bob"/Bub dichotomy... just treat it the way DC Comics had to
treat their multiple conflicting storylines and histories... make new
universes (see "Ambush Bug").

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From: polar bear <bear@pole.com>

> Most zombie movies ARE pieces of shit, but there's a reason that
> hundreds of them have been made. The basic formula as Romero laid it
> down in his first two low budget movies WORKS LIKE GANGBUSTERS.
>
art imitates life

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From: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)

And goddamn it, Life keeps stubbornly imitating a cross between "Dawn
of the Dead" and those face-clawing "Scooby-Doo" movies. Too bad
Sideshow Bob's nuke was an out-of-date dud, much like the current
administration. Mmm, got braaaaainsssss.......?

HellPope Huey
These Hulk Underoos are WAY too tight, oog!

"She's either hot for you or dangerously psychotic."
"With my luck, probably both."
- "Judging Amy"

When a man steals your wife,
there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
- Sacha Guitry

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Subject: Re: a remake?
From: wbarwell <wbarwell@munnnged.mylinuxisp.com>

Just saw that there Scooby-Doo sequel is about due in the theaters.
Better camp out starting now so you can be first in the theater, Hue....

Cheerful Charlie

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From: brthrn@dangermedia.org (MRvDC)

Fulci's "Zombie" is worthwhile for Italian zombie movie fetishists.
"Breakfast at the Manchester Morgue" is a pretty interesting British
zombie flick too.

"Cemetary Man" is most likely the smartest, funniest, and well-done
Italian zombie film ever made. And very accessible to non-genre fans.

Fulci's "The Beyond" (like all of his stuff) is for those
that...erm...dig that sort of deal. I'm a fan of his stuff. They've
been releasing some obscure titles on DVD lately and "House of Clocks"
is...illuminating. But slow. He also did a gore-film version of
Hamlet. I can't recall the name. It'll come to me eventually.

If you liked "28 Days Later" you might want to give the 80's
bio-zombie flick "Warning Signs" a look see. Similar themes. But on a
smaller scale.

O'Bannon did another zombie flick as well. "Dead and Buried" I think
it's impossible to find. Maybe James Farantino was in it? I was
impressed with it as a teenager. Low key. Mystery stuff. I wonder what
he's been up to these days. He's the dude who wrote ALIEN. So. To me.
He's like John of Patmos.

The Japanese ultra-gore fest zombie film "Junk" is available
domestically now. For gorehounds only. I have a dupe without any
subtitles and I don't think I'm missing out on much of the plot.

But you're absolutely right. "Dawn of the Dead" is the greatest zombie
film ever made. The Goblin soundtrack is just genius. Argento had a
hand in it as well. I'm too much of a purist to see the remake. I like
my horror fuzzy and cheap~a drug-haze. These Hollywood versions are
too slick. Doesn't feel right to me. Rob Zombie's "House of a 1,000
Corpses" reminds me of the horror films of my youth. It was a
spiritual experience for me. In the theater. Seriously.

We have over 20 hours of Italian zombie movies here. Every now and
then we run a marathon. It's the simple pleasures in life. Really.

But. Keep in mind. The hands that are typing this belong to a man who
is COMPLETELY UNGLUED because he found a copy of "THE BOOGENS"! at his
local video store.

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Subject: Re: a remake?
From: brthrn@dangermedia.org (MRvDC)

>
> But. Keep in mind. The hands that are typing this belong to a man who
> is COMPLETELY UNGLUED because he found a copy of "THE BOOGENS"! at his
> local video store.
>

Because I would feel horrible. If someone rented it. And did not know.

11:58 pm

Boogens--semi-review.

After the first 15 minutes of The Boogens, I was preparing myself to
write a long ass review of it as a way to pay homage to this likable
era of horror films. An era that John Carpenter single-handedly
conjured up with Halloween.

After about an hour. I decided against it.

Boogens starts out really well. Silver Falls, Colorado. Former mining
town. Mine closed down 50 years under mysterious circumstances. Mine
is going to be reopened. Underground grotto is found. Piles of human
bones. Two young couples staying at a lonely cabin in the woods. Old
town crazy that KNOWS. Dumb looking sheriff. Local yokels. Yappy
little poodle dog that every character in the movie hates just as much
as you do.The staples of early 80's horror.

I NEVER thought I'd say this about a movie. ESPECIALLY a MONSTER
MOVIE. But. The Boogens has WAY TOO MUCH character development. It was
nice of the screenwriters to give us fleshed out characters to watch
being mauled by giant slug-leeches with barbed tentacles. Sure. But.
MAN. A FUCKING HOUR OF IT IS TOO LONG FOR A HORROR MOVIE! TOO LONG
MOTHERFUCKER!

The acting in mediocre. The haircuts are suitably terrible. And they
kill the dog. Which is a plus to any film.

After that plodding hour, though. The Boogens are on the move! And
there's plenty of barbed tentacle slashing, face sucking and gooey
explosions to satisfy most genre fans.

Lots of tripping while running. Inability to open unlocked doors. And
"Oh, shit! There's a giant slug-leach tentacle monster coming after
me! Let's throw a PAINT CAN at IT!"

I have to give The Boogens one thing though. For giant slug-leeches
with barbed tentacles. They sure are stealthy! There could be a
Boogens under the car, under your bed, in the closet, and even in the
heating vent! Crafty. Those Boogens are.

Personally. I think if the film-makers would have cut out the
sex/nudity (which wasn't at all erotic) and the violence (just a
little slug-leech face sucking between friends and some blood
splatter~nothing too graphic). And marketed the film to 13 year old
boys instead of the teenage Friday the 13th crowd. They would have had
a cult classic on their hands by now. Instead. The Boogens is an
obscurity only to be enjoyed by admirers of this era of B horror
films.

Ah. Hindsight. It's 20/20. Unless your ASS needs glasses too.

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Subject: Re: a remake?
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>

>
> "Cemetary Man" is most likely the smartest, funniest, and well-done
> Italian zombie film ever made. And very accessible to non-genre fans.
>

That's on our Scheduling Guide for the subbinaries ngs. My son turned
me on to that one. A regular gut-blowout of a queasy laff-fest with the
most unexpected ending of ANY known zombie movie.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,

PRABOB

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