My Plan

From: "iDRMRSR" <idrmrsr@subgenius.com>
Date: Sun, Aug 1, 2004

After making the mistake of re reading the Dune novels, I've decided on my
post-retirement activity.

I am going to metamorph into an Ass God. I've already got a good start.
I'm going to let my ass take over my body. I think I will keep my face and
let it kind of blend into one cheek.

I'll then seek out some alien technology which will provide me with a
suspensor cart, so the Ass God can move around fluidly. I'm going to figure
out a way to secrete a rare substance, like whatever it is that makes
catalytic converters work, in my farts.

Eventually then, I will have the whole world petitioning to the Ass God for
converter magic.

Well, that's my plan, anyhow. The Atreides got a couple thousand years out
of a worm god, you know. With my expertise in ass cultivation, I could
easily remain a significant force in the known universe for five or six
thousand years.

Old ladies in dark robes and lacey veils will weep at my pimples, wherein
the fortunes of the galaxy will be read.

[*]
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Subject: Re: My Plan
From: "HdMrs. Salacia the Overseer" <SeventhSqueal@SlowOnTheUptake.edu>
Date: Sun, Aug 1, 2004

GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

now, where's sweaty Sting in that nifty little loin armor thingy.

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From: kdetal@aol.com (KD et al)

>The state of the Legume is not fixed until the point in time when it's
>observed.

Ok, now I can't make the fucking quip I wanted to make because I can't remember
the specifics of the physics law to get it right, and I can't remember the name
of it to look it up.

This is the mind of swiss cheese. I have all the information in the world. I
just can't remember what it fucking is.

Ok brilliant ones, which law is it and what are the specifics that says you
can't know both location and speed of some fucking thing, at once?

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From: Joe Cosby <http://joecosby.com/code/mail.pl>

kdetal@aol.com (KD et al) wrote:
>>The state of the Legume is not fixed until the point in time when it's
>>observed.
>
>Ok, now I can't make the fucking quip I wanted to make because I can't remember
>the specifics of the physics law to get it right, and I can't remember the name
>of it to look it up.
>
>This is the mind of swiss cheese. I have all the information in the world. I
>just can't remember what it fucking is.
>
>Ok brilliant ones, which law is it and what are the specifics that says you
>can't know both location and speed of some fucking thing, at once?

The Heisenberg fucking uncertainty principle

Here's some interesting fucking links:

http://www.aip.org/history/heisenberg/p06.htm

http://www.aip.org/history/heisenberg/p13e.htm

http://www.aip.org/history/einstein/quantum1.htm

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.com/
Let's all PUMMEL one another like IDIOT RETARDED *CHIMPS*!

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From: Joe Cosby <http://joecosby.com/code/mail.pl>

Some good quotes:

"It was through this paper [Heisenberg's classic paper on the
Uncertainty Principle] that the revolutionary character of the new
conception became clear. It showed that not only the determinism of
classical physics must be abandoned, but also the naive concept of
reality which looked upon the particles of atomic physics as if they
were very small grains of sand. At every instant a grain of sand has a
definite position and velocity. This is not the case with an
electron."

Max Born

"Truth lies in the abyss."

Niels Bohr

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.com/
The thought that there are people out there masturbating to Matt
Groening is enough to make me become a Republican.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Joe Cosby <http://joecosby.com/code/mail.pl>

Cardinal Vertigo <vertigo@alexandria.cc> wrote:

>Joe Cosby wrote:
>> "HdMrs. Salacia the Overseer" <SeventhSqueal@SlowOnTheUptake.edu> wrote:
>>>"HdMrs. Salacia the Overseer" <SeventhSqueal@SlowOnTheUptake.edu> wrote:
>>>>"Legume" <none@yerbiz.com> wrote:
>>>>>iDRMRSR wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>>>I am going to metamorph into an Ass God. I've already got a good
>>>>>>start. I'm going to let my ass take over my body. I think I will keep
>>>>>>my face and let it kind of blend into one cheek.
>>>>>
>>>>>I can almost imagine you drawn by Jack Kirby.
>>>>
>>>>PLONK!
>>>
>>>On second thought.......
>>>
>>>UNPLONK!
>>>
>>>You're one of those ones that should be watched carefully.
>>>
>>>squinty eyed,
>>>~Salacia
>>
>> The only thing potentially more disturbing than an unwatched Legume is
>> a watched Legume.
>
>The state of the Legume is not fixed until the point in time when it's
>observed.

And then it's TOO LATE.

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.com/
DOWN WITH AHMAD CHALABI, MAN OF CATS!

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From: "ghost" <ghost@ghost.net>

"iDRMRSR" <idrmrsr@subgenius.com> wrote:
> After making the mistake of re reading the Dune novels, I've decided on my
> post-retirement activity.
>
> I am going to metamorph into an Ass God. I've already got a good start.
> I'm going to let my ass take over my body. I think I will keep my face
and
> let it kind of blend into one cheek.
>
> I'll then seek out some alien technology which will provide me with a
> suspensor cart, so the Ass God can move around fluidly. I'm going to
figure
> out a way to secrete a rare substance, like whatever it is that makes
> catalytic converters work, in my farts.
>
> Eventually then, I will have the whole world petitioning to the Ass God
for
> converter magic.
>
> Well, that's my plan, anyhow. The Atreides got a couple thousand years
out
> of a worm god, you know. With my expertise in ass cultivation, I could
> easily remain a significant force in the known universe for five or six
> thousand years.
>
> Old ladies in dark robes and lacey veils will weep at my pimples, wherein
> the fortunes of the galaxy will be read.

And then when the rebel Sternodox ghola drowns you in Pepsi, your body will
dissolve into thousands of tiny asses which will go back into the sands,
each carrying a tiny pearl of genetic memory of your ass-ness.

"Praise the Cheek. Praise its coming and going."

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From: "iDRMRSR" <idrmrsr@subgenius.com>

Ghost:
>>"Praise the Cheek. Praise its coming and going."

And if I fart in your general direction, that's actually a sign of respect,
like the Fremen spitting.

I will HAVE your flatulence!

I can see this is going to be WAY more fun than I initially thought.

The second part of my plan involves something I had been thinking about
earlier. You can get a rental car. But have you ever heard of a reCtal
car?

Well, you'd better have one to make a proper pilgrimage.

Oooohhh! My mind is set in motion, that's for sure.

[*]
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Original file name: My Plan.txt - converted on Saturday, 25 September 2004, 02:05