Local newscunt makes it big

From: El Queso <""the_cheese_23\"@(nospam)yahoo.com>
Date: Mon, Jun 16, 2003

Here in Phoenix, we used to have a calculatedly slutty-looking newswhore
named Claudia somethingorother who would do the weekend "what's hip"
bits on local newschannel 3. About a year and a half ago, I saw her in a
local grocery store with another newswhore (Liz Habib) and I stopped and
looked them in the face, smiled and said "Media whores" - their faces
turned sour, like someone had farted - and Claudia said "You are...". I
said "Plastic talking-heads - I hope you fucking die".
Fast-forward to tonight, and I see Claudia the media-whore has made
the jump to FOX and is hosting a reality show (Anything for love?).
I'm glad to say I mocker her when she was a local rag before she was a
national rag.
Queso

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "nu-monet v5.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>

El Queso wrote:
> Here in Phoenix, we used to have a calculatedly
> slutty-looking newswhore named Claudia
> somethingorother who would do the weekend
> "what's hip" bits on local newschannel 3.

This has generally been a kick-ass day in Penis!

http://www.local6.com/news/2272794/detail.html

Business Owner Chases, Runs Over Robbery Suspects
In Hummer

Two Suspects In Critical Condition...

**************************************************

BTW, that reminds me of the great tale of Linda
Alverez. Another local news whore.

When she was first hired she had impeccable English,
which, after two weeks at the studio turned into,
"Theese eeze Leenda Alverez with Akcheeon News!"

Anyway, time passed and she was eventually picked
up by another station in L.A. But before she left,
some of the studio guys decided to play a practical
joke on her.

One of them had gotten a tape, purportedly an
interview with this pudgy-and-freckly faced bow tie
wearing fungus who was the President of NAMBLA.

Now her, being a Macha bitch, not only hated homos,
but absolutely freaked out about pedos. So they
set her up in a panel discussion with:

A psychotic Maricopa County asst. DA, and

A footwash Evangelical-screamer minister.

Sounds like a fair, unbiased panel to me.

Anyway, the didn't let her see the tape before she
went on the air--live--with these two nut cases.

The studio would play about a minute of the "interview"
then stop it for her and she and the two guys would
froth at the mouth for a while. And they did not
disappoint, almost getting into a contest as to who
could curse and threaten the evil pedos worse.

Eventually, they got the stupendous quote from the
worm that "By the time a boy is eight years of age,
his rectum can accommodate the penis of a full grown
male." And she lost her marbles.

She demanded that the studio show that quote over
and over again, and then the tape would stop and
she looked like she had a mouthful of unsweetened
lemon flavored shit, then she would snap out a non-
question to one of the panelists who was contorting
like an old John Belushi "Weekend Update" editorial,
and then demand the studio show the same quote again.

And again, and again. And, back in the studio, the
guys were laughing so hard that one of them
"accidently" hit the switch that put the sounds from
the *studio* on the air, hilarious laughter, as the
red-faced Linda kept babbling on, unaware that no one
could hear her. It took like 30 seconds for them to
catch on and switch back to her.

Well, it *was* a good going away present.

--
"Pleasure me, you Arizoneran teevee wench!"
--James Mason, from the movie
'Mandingo in Tempe, Tem-pe, not Tam-pa'

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com>

El Queso <""the_cheese_23\"@(nospam)yahoo.com> wrote:
>Here in Phoenix, we used to have a calculatedly slutty-looking newswhore
>named Claudia

Calculatedly slutty newswhores and troubled loners are America's
greatest natural resource.

Sorry.

Don't mean to interrupt.

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

Some people might call 50000 volts through a 50
pound monkey 'torture' but I like to think of it as 'Win-Win Feedback'.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>

El Queso wrote:
> Here in Phoenix, we used to have a calculatedly slutty-looking newswhore
> named Claudia somethingorother who would do the weekend "what's hip"
> bits on local newschannel 3. About a year and a half ago, I saw her in a
> local grocery store with another newswhore (Liz Habib) and I stopped and
> looked them in the face, smiled and said "Media whores" - their faces
> turned sour, like someone had farted - and Claudia said "You are...". I
> said "Plastic talking-heads - I hope you fucking die".
> Fast-forward to tonight, and I see Claudia the media-whore has made
> the jump to FOX and is hosting a reality show (Anything for love?).
> I'm glad to say I mocker her when she was a local rag before she was a
> national rag.
> Queso

And look what good it did.

Up one level
Back to document index

Original file name: Local newscunt makes it big.txt - converted on Saturday, 25 September 2004, 02:05