Apology from nu-monet

From: "nu-monet v6.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>
Date: Fri, Aug 22, 2003

I'm sorry I didn't win the $200M FUCKING POWERBALL
LOTTERY JACKPOT.

I'm also sorry that I forgot to put enough liquid
nitrogen in the FUCKING DEATH RAY so that it blew
up and trashed my lab.

I'm sorry that I miscalculated the tides so that the
refugees had to wait SIX FUCKING HOURS before they
were all drowned when the sea came in.

I'm incredibly fucking sorry that the "100% guaranteed
totally herbal penis enarglement suppositories" not
only didn't enargle penii, but that the horseshit in
the pills was loaded with TETANUS.

And you're not going to believe how astoundingly sorry
I am that the aphrodisiac I sold those high school
boys for their prom which they dumped in the punch
was about 15,000 times stronger than advertised. And
was really a laxative.

And I'm sorry about the whole "hanging chad" thing,
even if nobody but his parents cared.

Also, to tell you the truth, I'm extra sorry about
spreading SARS all over FUCKING Canada. Even if it
did convince them to legalize marijuana.

And a buncha other stuff I did but won't admit to.

--
Rev. nu-monet
Founder and High Priest
Church of Kali, U.S.A. (Reformed)

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Dunty Porteous" <dunter.redcap@spedlins>

I apologize for oxidative stress and cellular apoptosis. How was I to know?
Sorry.

Dunty Porteous,
1959 Recipient of the Prestigious Y-Chromosome Award

--
"As for you, my galvanized friend, you want a heart. You don't know how
lucky you are not to have one. Hearts will never be practical until they can
be made unbreakable."
-The Wizard of Oz

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Original file name: Apology from nu-monet.txt - converted on Saturday, 25 September 2004, 02:05