Subgenius Made Me CrAzY

From: lucreziag@aol.com (Lynn)
Date: Thu, Jul 24, 2003

You know, a few years ago, I started reading Subgenius books around the time
that I was having a full-blown manic-depressive attack. It was NOT good
reading material in that impressionable state of mind. I wound up having shock
treatments and having a messianic complex. :-)

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From: "nu-monet v6.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>

First of all, I'd like to say that I've taken the
liberty to x-post this to alt.slack, the discussion
group most often used by the clergy of the Church
of the SubGenius.

Second, I'd like to express best wishes that you are
feeling better now, assuming you *are* feeling better
now, and hope that your unfortunate choice of reading
material when you were sick doesn't permanently
prejudice you against our otherwise fine and
upstanding organization.

That said, fnord thwip-thwip gooogledy ptant quish
oinky-ouinky. Blblblblblblblblbl.

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From: mrmojo666@hotmail.com (MrMojo)

--clip--
> > I wound up having shock treatments and
> > having a messianic complex. :-)
--clip--

It's only a complex if you aren't the messiah. You ARE the messiah,
right?? Cause if you weren't the messiah, a host of demons, all
smaller than a pinhead, would flood in through your body orifices and
cause unspeakable pain in your genitals.

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From: "Alliekatt" <alleykatzen@hotmail.com>

At that sort of time it is good to take "Bob"'s advice of pulling the wool
over your own eyes. Being confronted with a view of reality that makes you
realize that every idea in existence is just a maelstrom of meaning,
constructed around a central core of void, complete meaninglessness, is
something which takes the RIGHT sort of insanity to manage. Namely the sort
that takes a piss at meaninglessness with scads of even more meaningless
hostility.

It makes you clean house in your head. If you don't clean house, then
gorilla equals banana equals red knickers, because you're still trying to
assign significance and connections- and you might as well significate it
all.

Except that the Conspiracy really IS real.

Does that make sense?

bwah.

alliekatt

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From: lucreziag@aol.com (Lynn)

Well, my problem (talent) is that I AM impressionable. So if "Bob" says that
you must simultaneously believe and disbelieve everything you read, and "Bob"
says "You are Jesus", then maybe I am Jesus. Or maybe I'm not. THIS PATH
LEADS TO MADNESS :-)

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From: subspecies23@aol.comyourmom (SubSpecies23)

I have a friend that I've never been able to convert to the SubGenius faith.
She likes the idea, and says it sounds like a great religion, but it all just
makes her too paranoid, and causes her various psychological problems to flare
up. It upsets me, I've won several converts for this church, but I just can't
get this one.

--
Beware! The Paranoids are watching you!

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From: "Alliekatt" <alleykatzen@hotmail.com>

Sounds like she will have a great future in Scientology or as an estie.

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From: bobdiddley@aol.com (Bobdiddley)

lucreziag said:
>So if "Bob" says that
>you must simultaneously believe and disbelieve everything you read, and "Bob"
>says "You are Jesus", then maybe I am Jesus. Or maybe I'm not. THIS PATH
>LEADS TO MADNESS :-)

When did "Bob" ever say "You are Jesus"? (to anyone except Rev. Jesus, that is)
Probably never. So nevermind, that path does NOT lead to madness - reading
into and out of, concepts which aren't there to begin with, leads to madness.
That would be pulling someone else's wool over your own eyes.
You are not Jesus - he's the guy with the megaphone.

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From: "Kristopher Barrett, the man from ZOG" <19980705@kbarrett.cotse.net>

Yep.... I remember him.... he helped announce our Ball-Licking contest
last X-day.

--
Regards,
Kristopher Barrett <kbarrett --at-- cotse.com>
The man from ZOG, unit number 0000023

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From: joecosby@mindspring.com (Joe Cosby)

lucreziag@aol.com (Lynn) wrote:
> Well, my problem (talent) is that I AM impressionable. So if "Bob" says that
> you must simultaneously believe and disbelieve everything you read, and "Bob"
> says "You are Jesus", then maybe I am Jesus.

Not another one.

Look will all Jesuses please form a group on the left side of the room
and all Buddhas and Muhammeds please form to the right. And please
take it easy on the laying on of hands thing, some of our audience
-are- underage.

It's really very difficult to remember who can and can't eat which
foods if you all insist on mingling like this.

And all you loony subgenius stalkers, we have usenet connections set
up in the back room. For a reason. Way back in the back room.
Personal hygiene is your FRIEND, guys.

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From: lucreziag@aol.com (Lynn)

Yes, I am feeling much better now. I turned by Subgenius-inpired insanity
around and MADE A PROFIT!!! Yes, I did. I used the experience to get a job as
a secretary in a mental hospital. :-)

You know, Subgenius books contain a lot of what I call "LIBIDO WORDS" which
DRILL into your HEAD and CAUSE IRREPARABLE HARM!!!

(YOU, yes, YOU can learn to COMMUNICATE like a SUBGENIUS!!! One E-Z step!!!)

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From: "nu-monet v6.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>

Lynn wrote:
> Well, my problem (talent) is that I AM
> impressionable.

Well, so far you have impressed us that you are
lazy. One of the basic tenets of this Church is
not only are you responsible for developing your
own, unique and infallible doctrine; but that you
are also responsible for continually re-creating
this doctrine in ever more infallible ways, to
the point where you must schism off from the
Church, it no longer being correctly doctrinaire
enough for your purposes.

In other words, not only do you "make your own
reality", but you also have to screw it up, too.

In addition, you just can't keep it to yourself,
you have to brag about it, rant about it, seek
to convert others to it, and strive to prove its
utter truthfullness in the face of all opposing,
paradoxical and contradictory evidence thrown in
your face by the damned unbelievers, sceptics and
scoffers.

While at the same time you must disbelieve in the
foolish superstitions of the other religions, be
sceptical to the point of inertia of anything not
proven to you to your satisfaction, and scoff at
everyone else and their stupid ideas.

But first, you must send in $30.

--
"Military intelligence is sifting
through the destruction..."
-- catchy quote from
The Washington Times

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From: lucreziag@aol.com (Lynn)

bobdiddley@aol.com(Bobdiddley) writes:
>When did "Bob" ever say "You are Jesus"? (to anyone except Rev. Jesus, that
>is)
>Probably never. So nevermind, that path does NOT lead to madness - reading
>into and out of, concepts which aren't there to begin with, leads to madness.
>That would be pulling someone else's wool over your own eyes.
>You are not Jesus - he's the guy with the megaphone.

Doesn't it say somewhere that Subgenii are "The Fighting Jesus"? Something
like that.

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From: polar bear <bear@pole.com>

It doesn't pay to take this stuff too literally......

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From: ridetheory@yahoo.com (ignatz topolino)

This church doesn't pay at all. But the hours are good.

iggy topo

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From: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)

"Alliekatt" <alleykatzen@hotmail.com> wrote:

> It makes you clean house in your head. If you don't clean house, then
> gorilla equals banana equals red knickers, because you're still trying to
> assign significance and connections- and you might as well significate it
> all.
> Except that the Conspiracy really IS real.
> Does that make sense?

It does to me, but that's no guarantor of its legitimacy.
Fortunately, you're in the company of some of the most unique BABBLERS
on Earth, so virtually anything is legit, just because YOU said it.
Just a leetle slice o' HEBBIN' ain't it?

HellPope Huey, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
How much do you weigh and what's your favorite color?

"Nobody said it was going to be easy, and nobody was right."
- President George Bush, in Asiaweek magazine

Swat my hind with a melon rind, that's my penguin state of mind!
- Opus

STRESS TESTS for DUMMIES
http://webpages.charter.net/hkirtley/stress/

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From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

Lynn <lucreziag@aol.com> wrote:
> bobdiddley@aol.com(Bobdiddley) writes:
>
> >When did "Bob" ever say "You are Jesus"? (to anyone except Rev. Jesus, that
> >is)
> >Probably never. So nevermind, that path does NOT lead to madness - reading
> >into and out of, concepts which aren't there to begin with, leads to madness.
> >That would be pulling someone else's wool over your own eyes.
> >You are not Jesus - he's the guy with the megaphone.
>
> Doesn't it say somewhere that Subgenii are "The Fighting Jesus"? Something
> like that.

SOMEWHERE, maybe. I don't think it says that in any of the stuff from
The SubGenius Foundation, and I know the material pretty well. Can't
speak for every random other schism's apocrypha, however.

Now that you mention it, though... dang, I guess SubGenii ARE The
Fightin' Jesus.

I could direct you to the Money-Changing, Bullhorn-Hollering,
Saintly-Beauty-Marryin' Jesus, but that requires the $30.

We're very flexible. Adaptability, that's the ticket.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
PRABOB

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From: lucreziag@aol.com (Lynn)

YOU SEE? Straight from the horse's mouth :-) The Fightin' Jesus is on page
138 of Revelation X, btw. It doesn't actually SAY that Subgenii are The
Fightin' Jesus, but that's how I ABSORBED it when I was cRaZy. I haven't
really picked up those books in years, though. They still give me the creeps
:-) They are a little too morbid and weird and aggressive for my senstive,
gentle nature.

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From: zosodada@aol.com (Zosodada)

<< The Fightin' Jesus is on page
138 of Revelation X, btw. >>

::applause:::
[for having a copy of R.X.]

Hey, Stang -- you still got copies of The Black Hole of Caracosa for sale?
There's plenty of two-fisted Jesus action in that one if I remember correctly.

-------

"Why, YES! I DO like to FONDLE YOUNG, supple TESTICLES!"
-- lCEKNlFE

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From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

ignatz topolino <ridetheory@yahoo.com> wrote:
> This church doesn't pay at all. But the hours are good.

BMOOMNL!!

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
PRABOB

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

Zosodada <zosodada@aol.com> wrote:
> << The Fightin' Jesus is on page
> 138 of Revelation X, btw. >>
>
> ::applause:::
> [for having a copy of R.X.]
>
> Hey, Stang -- you still got copies of The Black Hole of Caracosa for sale?
> There's plenty of two-fisted Jesus action in that one if I remember correctly.

Right, me, Jesus and "Bob" battle a Conspiracy Monster Made of a City
in that John Shirley masterpiece/hack-job. Nope, sold out. It's in my
stack of "to run through the OCR someday."

That is a pretty funny novel, especially the machine-gunning of Smurfs
at the beginning.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
PRABOB

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From: Lou Scannon <scannon@lmountain.com>

You can get a used copy here for 84 cents

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/stores/offering/list/-/0312911734/all/ref=dp_pb_a/102-5799464-5785747

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From: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)

"nu-monet v6.0" <nothing@succeeds.com> wrote:
.... to
> the point where you must schism off from the
> Church, it no longer being correctly doctrinaire
> enough for your purposes.

So that's where I've been erring; I didn't KNOW we had to have
"purposes."

>.... and strive to prove its
> utter truthfullness in the face of all opposing,
> paradoxical and contradictory evidence thrown in
> your face by the damned unbelievers, sceptics and
> scoffers.

Don't you mean "septics?" I'm probably not one to be seen as a high
epopt of doctrine; my current ShorDurPerSav is a toss-up between Saint
Jon Stewart and Saint Kikaider.

HellPope Huey, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
The slicker it is, the faster it goes
and the deeper it will GET.

The word of the day is "lubricant."
- "Drew Carey"

The only thing that stops God
from sending another flood is that
the first one was useless.
- Nicholas Chamfort (1741 - 1794)

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Original file name: Subgenius Made Me CrAzY.txt - converted on Saturday, 25 September 2004, 02:05