Instant Purple!!!

From: nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com>
Date: Mon, Apr 19, 2004

"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
> purple <purple@tellurian.com> wrote:
> > "Linus Minimax" <aleuphoric@canada.com> wrote:
> > >
> > > Legume???
> >
> > Legume was a biker who found "Bob" in 1988 and subsequently got mad at Doug
> > and created another interpretation of my work, leading to the formation of
> > the anti-Doug sect called the "Holocaustals".
> >
> > Very simple stuff, unfortunately.
> >
> > Actually, he just posted on Friday at 6:56pm. He usually is not around here.
> >
> >
> > Bob Dobbs
> >
>
> Pardon me?
>
> "Holocaustal" versus "Ivangelical" was a satirical concept that
> gradually developed from routines by Papa Joe Mama, Dr. K'taden Legume
> and myself. The point was basically to lampoon the propensity of kooks
> to get angrier at their fellow kooks over silly doctrinal minutia than
> at the "normals" against whom they are ostensibly allied. (The petty
> sniping between you and Nelson Thall being a good example.) You may not
> have noticed that Legume has since drifted from "bloodthirsty
> Holocaustal leader" to "Connietite Priest in Zen Slack." Furthermore,
> to complete the little unspoken metaphorical parable, after I "got sick
> of the Ivangelical wimps" I "took over the Holocaustal movement"
> myself.
>
> You are probably the only reader of this newsgroup to whom stuff like
> that has to be EXPLAINED. I put some of the phrases above in quotes to
> help show you which parts are facetious japes or sarcastic commentaries
> on the inability of humorless, inflexible kooks to get a clue.
>
> READ THAT LAST SENTENCE AGAIN.
>
> It is quite true that Dr. Legume has better things to do than poke
> kooks on alt.slack most of the time. I talked to him on the phone for
> about an hour just two days ago, and he was in his HOT TUB for the
> ENTIRE CONVERSATION. In the middle of the work week. If I didn't have
> to work for my monthly paycheck I'd probably be in a hot tub too
> instead of out kook-bashing. But, in an indirect way, I am PAID to piss
> off spazzes like you and then thrub their empty noggins when they get
> all bent out of shape, to the appreciative laughter of my fellow
> SubGenii.
>
> The presumption that ANY of this is "an interpretation of your work" is
> the basic kook fallacy that, judging from your statements, you have
> milked and obsessed over to the point that it has wrecked your life and
> what little mental balance you might ever have enjoyed. You are far
> from the only psycho to think that The Book of the SubGenius is really
> all about him; you're just the only one needy enough to CLING to that
> notion.
>
> You are one fantastically dense and Slackless motherfucker, Dean. If
> you take the Holocaustal thing seriously -- an OBVIOUS JOKE within a
> group known for rather OBVIOUS JOKES -- what ELSE out there in the
> world of ideas might you be swallowing at face value, hook line and
> sinker?

I like how he can just make up one little paragraph of bullshit and then
have you all "explaining" the "TRUTH" about it all for line after line.
Reminds me of me. Talk about being dense and slackless, I believe your
petard is set on HOIST, Mister Stang.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>

nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com> wrote:
> I like how he can just make up one little paragraph of bullshit and then
> have you all "explaining" the "TRUTH" about it all for line after line.
> Reminds me of me. Talk about being dense and slackless, I believe your
> petard is set on HOIST, Mister Stang.

Poot off, Principal Nenslo! If I want to let go and FART once or twice
for every 300 or so of his diarrheas, then let fly I shall! I don't
care whether DEAN gets off on it or NOT.

And don't call me MISTER Stang!

And that god damn Jeff Long motherfucker BETTER be good, because on
your PROBABLY SARCASTIC recommendation, I went out and bought not only
his "The Descent" but also his new "Year Zero" -- which appears to be
about cloning Jesus! In fact, to quote something people are always
saying to me, "YOU OUGHTA SUE THAT GUY!! -- you've been ripped off!"
You wrote a short story involving JUST THAT SELFSAME HOLY CLONING, back
when you went to such trouble on such things. In case you don't
remember. I barely do.

http://subgenius.com/bigfist/classic/classictales/Pilgrimage.html

Oh that's right, it was Hitler, not Jesus. Oh well, same difference.

Beautiful, and corny.

(And Jesus.)

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
PRABOB

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
> Poot off, Principal Nenslo! If I want to let go and FART once or twice
> for every 300 or so of his diarrheas, then let fly I shall! I don't
> care whether DEAN gets off on it or NOT.

That's what they always say. "If I want to make a jackass out of myself
jumping through somebody else's hoop while proclaiming their inability
to affect me in any way I will, and I don't care what they think about
it either, but I sure will read their followup to see what they say!"
>
> And don't call me MISTER Stang!
>

Mister mister mister mister mister.

> And that god damn Jeff Long motherfucker BETTER be good, because on
> your PROBABLY SARCASTIC recommendation, I went out and bought not only
> his "The Descent" but also his new "Year Zero" -- which appears to be
> about cloning Jesus!

Yeah, that's the one I didn't like as much although it also has a
Neanderthal clone, but The Descent was good and sick and weird. I can't
believe people actually go out and buy books when they have a library in town.

In fact, to quote something people are always
> saying to me, "YOU OUGHTA SUE THAT GUY!! -- you've been ripped off!"
> You wrote a short story involving JUST THAT SELFSAME HOLY CLONING, back
> when you went to such trouble on such things. In case you don't
> remember. I barely do.
>
> http://subgenius.com/bigfist/classic/classictales/Pilgrimage.html
>
> Oh that's right, it was Hitler, not Jesus. Oh well, same difference.

It was people thinking they had cloned Hitler and not knowing they had
actually cloned Jesus.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>

nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com> wrote:
> That's what they always say. "If I want to make a jackass out of myself
> jumping through somebody else's hoop while proclaiming their inability
> to affect me in any way I will, and I don't care what they think about
> it either, but I sure will read their followup to see what they say!"

Give me a break. That's a silly way to describe what's going on here. I
have always made it quite plain that Bob Dean disgusts me and pisses me
off. I DON'T care what he thinks, and I don't expect him to even
understand what I say "to" him. You know as well as I do that I'm not
talking to him; I'm putting on a show. (God damn it, now you've got me
"explaining" stuff to YOU, and YOU KNOW BETTER!) Look, you're going
back and forth with J'lahn on another thread, even though you know
perfectly well he doesn't really have the capacity to "get" what you're
saying. It's not that you're really trying to engage the kook in a
conversation. That can't be done.It's like me thinking I'm gonna have a
heart-to-heart talk with Acid Burnout Man. You are expressing your
thoughts about J'lahn's fucked-uppedness, and it's real entertaining to
me to read them. But I sure don't think you're trying to "one-up" him
or "get through to him" or anything like that.

It's like when some asshole is tailgating you on the highway. Sometimes
you just ignore them and drive along like you would if they weren't
there riding your tail. Other times you SLOW DOWN just to piss them
off. Just depends on how ornery you're feeling that day and your
thoughts about handguns.

(If it's on a country road, you veer over to the shoulder and let them
pass -- different protocols entirely out there.)

Anyway, there are new people lurking in this newsgroup all the time.
Mostly I ignore Dean, as you know. Every now and then I express my
disgust, partly to entertain myself and hopefully some readers, and
also to make my position clear to anyone new who might have been
WONDERING. I've been pretty FUNNY about it, if you ask ME, and *I* am
the only one who is going to BE RIGHT about THAT, if you DO ask ANYONE
AT ALL!

Plus, that interview with him was just too choice to let GO RIGHT BY.
How the fuck am I supposed to resist something like that? By NOT BEING
A DUMBASS?? Sorry, WRONG CHURCH!

> Mister mister mister mister mister.

I telepathically commanded you to type that so many times.

> Yeah, that's the one I didn't like as much although it also has a
> Neanderthal clone, but The Descent was good and sick and weird. I can't
> believe people actually go out and buy books when they have a library in town.

I couldn't download it!

And Mac's Backs is within walking distance, whereas the library is way
the hell over almost in Fuckhurst. And if the book is any good, I'm
GONNA end up getting a lot of the pages all stuck together. I prefer to
own cheap paperback copies of books because the library doesn't let me
keep books long enough, that being FOREVER. I use them so thoroughly
that by the time I'm done with them no one else would want them anyway.

I started reading The Descent last night, and already I'm about 100
pages in. It's almost SCARED me into putting it down. I must've taken 3
extra dumps just as excuses to go back into that book between my "day
job" activities.

It already smells weird, too. You want the copy after I'm done reading
it?

> It was people thinking they had cloned Hitler and not knowing they had
> actually cloned Jesus.

CHEATER. You cut off the ending of my letter which QUOTED THE LAST LINE
of the story and added, "(AND JESUS!)" -- but unlike you I was trying
not to SPOIL the SURPRISE ENDING for anybody who happened to go ahead
and click on that link and read the little story. I wanted to INTRIGUE
folks into reading your FUNNY STORY. Also I really wanted to say "same
difference" just then.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
PRABOB

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Original file name: Re- .Re- Instant Purple!!!.txt - converted on Saturday, 25 September 2004, 02:05