Martha Stewart

From: Governor Rocknar <Rocknar@insightbb.com>
Date: Sat, Jul 17, 2004

Jimbo was right. I JINXED THE FUCK OUT OF MARTHA STEWART at XD5 when I put
together my "Altar to Martha".

EIGHT SIMPLE WORDS would have saved Martha Stewart from going to prison.

I DID IT!

I WAS WRONG!

I'M SORRY!

But Martha, being the EXTRAORDINARY PINK BITCH that she is, she used her
post-sentencing press conference to make it seem like SHE was the victim.

"What was a small personal matter became over the last two and a half years
an almost fatal circus event of unprecedented proportions spreading like oil
over a vast landscape, even around the world."
- Martha Stewart

LET'S READ BETWEEN THOSE LINES, SHALL WE?

"a small personal matter" - Hmm, well it seems to ME that Martha, being the
chair of OmniMedia (what a CON name if ever I heard one), as well as CEO of
Martha Stewart Inc. AS WELL AS ONE OF THE MEMBERS OF THE NEW YORK STOCK
EXCHANGE, a most serious crime like insider trading is anything BUT "a small
personal matter"

"an almost fatal circus event" - Hmm, does she mean the kind of circus with
clowns in the funny cars and high-wire trapeeze artists and that stuff, or
does she mean the ROMAN KIND OF CIRCUS where you got a loaf of REAL BREAD
THAT GOT YOU STONED AND DOING THE ST. VITUS DANCE AND WHERE PEOPLE DIED
AFTER BEING THROWN TO THE LIONS/GLADIATORS/THE JUGGERNAUT? However I feel
she must have meant the first kind of circus, some of those clowns can be
awfully scary.

"spreading like oil over a vast landscape, even around the world" - You
suppose this was a subtle reference to the BUSH CRIME FAMILY? Martha is one
of George W. and Laura Bush's personal friends and contributors to their
campaign. HER MONEY TALKS and it says one thing, "Bush is GREAT cause he
lets RICH BITCHES LIKE ME KEEP MY MONEY WHILE THE POOR GET NOTHING!" -
Martha must have been Marie Antoinette in her previous life, she still
thinks of NOTHING BUT HERSELF and says "let them eat cake" - or in Martha's
case, "let them eat MY RECIPES I SELL TO THEM!"

Conclusion - Martha's post-sentencing press conference was a CLEVERLY CODED
MESSAGE THAT SHE WAS SENDING TO GEORGE W. BUSH.

When decoded, the message is,

"GEORGE, PLEASE GIVE ME A PRESIDENTIAL PARDON! I DON'T WANT TO BE RAPED AND
KILLED IN PRISON!"

We have a minimum security prison here in Lexington. Federal Correctional
Institute (FCI) out on Leestown Road. It's where William S. Burroughs spent
time for possesion of heroin and subsequent detox. Also, Leona Helmsley was
sentenced to FCI after her conviction for insider trading.

FCI is ALSO where the Conspiracy did their MK-ULTRA tests, being that FCI in
Lexington was where they sent you to dry out from heroin addiction. Some of
the test subjects in MK-ULTRA were kept on LSD EVERY DAY FOR 70 DAYS!

I hope they send Martha to FCI. It'd be hilarious to see her get all strung
out on acid and come out five months later jabbering like a lunatic. At
least it'd make her prison time go a LOT FASTER!

In the meantime, I WILL CONTINUE TO JINX THE FUCK OUT OF MARTHA STEWART!

*fondles and caresses his PINK Martha Stewart bath towel purchased at an
Erie, Pennsylvania K-Mart on July 5th, 2002*

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From: "Anachron" <AnachronNospam@neo.rr.com>

Last night she compared her jail time to that of Nelson Mandella. What
could tell you more? She is just a victim I guess.

Wealthy people get a sense of: we make the rules, we don't have to follow
them. The system is strictly a game to be maniupulated and this is true to
some extent but they sometimes loose sight of a real threat that can bite
them in the ass. If she would have just fessed up somewhere along the way
this would have been a small page 3 article and that's all. Looks like she
lost this round but "I'll be back... I'll be back" she says. The fucked up
thing is she may be right. The stock took a huge jump yesterday.

Martha gets my Pink Bitch of the Year Award nomination. She defines Pink.
--
Rev. Anachron

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From: "iDRMRSR" <idrmrsr@subgenius.com>

Heh, I'm so happy she is going DOWN!

Imagine, FIVE whole months where the only curtains she will get to pick out
are MEAT CURTAINS of the dykes in her pod!

I mean, that's kind of like January through MAY for crying out loud! Oh,
the HORROR of it all.

Come to think of it, that's just like winter in Cleveland, or I should say
HALF of winter, because between January and May of 2005, shit, I'm going to
be mostly confined to house arrest what with the crappy climate here. I
could do it standing on my head.

The other worst part is that FIVE MONTHS is long enough for the BOTOX to
wear off. And plenty of time for regrowth after FIVE MONTHS of NO WAXING.
When she gets out, you'll see what a 62 year old wommin REALLY looks like au
naturel. Like your granny. Remember that, kids?

Remember that scene from your childhood life, Come On Kiss Your GRANNY
before we go home? How the upper lip bristles nearly poked out your eyes
when you were 5 or 6?

Martha!

[*]
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From: Artemia Salina <y2k@sheayright.com>

Just yesterday, at the place where I vork, an aging bag lady with blond hair,
blue eyes, and a voice sounding like a rusty septic tank lid hinge, came in
and shuffled around trying to mooch cigarettes off of everyone. We nicknamed
her "Martha Stewart from the Future."

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Original file name: Martha Stewart.txt - converted on Saturday, 25 September 2004, 02:05