My Haunted Butt

From: nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com>
Date: Fri, Aug 13, 2004

My butt is haunted. It is haunted by the ghost of a turd that was pooped
too soon. It wasn't through digesting into a turd and got pooped out of
my butt before it was ready. Now it haunts my butt. I wake up in the
middle of the night and I have to take a dump. I sit on the pot and
crap out a turd from my anus, a turd I can actually feel getting crapped
out my anus and hear plopping into the water, and when I wipe my butt
there's nothing on the toilet paper. When I look into the toilet there
is no turd there. I wonder if the ghost of a turd can be exorcised out
of a butt. I wonder if there even is a turd ghost exorcist.

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From: Zapanas <http://joecosby.com/code/mail.pl>

That doesn't necessarily mean there is a ghost turd.

Your butt may be a ventriloquist.

--
Zapanas
Grand Master of the Satanic Conspiracy
http://joecosby.com/
"A blarg is a combination of spobbles and nunacks."
-xqed (xqed@nospam.yahoo.com)

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: El Queso <the_cheese_23nospam@yahoo.com>

nenslo wrote:
> My butt is haunted. It is haunted by the ghost of a turd that was pooped
> too soon. It wasn't through digesting into a turd and got pooped out of
> my butt before it was ready. Now it haunts my butt. I wake up in the
> middle of the night and I have to take a dump. I sit on the pot and
> crap out a turd from my anus, a turd I can actually feel getting crapped
> out my anus and hear plopping into the water, and when I wipe my butt
> there's nothing on the toilet paper. When I look into the toilet there
> is no turd there. I wonder if the ghost of a turd can be exorcised out
> of a butt. I wonder if there even is a turd ghost exorcist.

This is odd. I just made an instrumental song called "I don't know if I
need a proctologist or a ghostbuster" about a week ago. I don't think
you're haunted, I just think you dropped a fast-diver that quickly shot
down the pipe a bit. Um, you asshole.
Queso

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From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>

nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com> wrote:
> My butt is haunted. It is haunted by the ghost of a turd that was pooped
> too soon. It wasn't through digesting into a turd and got pooped out of
> my butt before it was ready. Now it haunts my butt. I wake up in the
> middle of the night and I have to take a dump. I sit on the pot and
> crap out a turd from my anus, a turd I can actually feel getting crapped
> out my anus and hear plopping into the water, and when I wipe my butt
> there's nothing on the toilet paper. When I look into the toilet there
> is no turd there. I wonder if the ghost of a turd can be exorcised out
> of a butt. I wonder if there even is a turd ghost exorcist.

It's because you had that abortion.

--
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
(4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected, Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
PRABOB

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com>

El Queso wrote:
>
> nenslo wrote:
> > My butt is haunted. It is haunted by the ghost of a turd that was pooped
> > too soon. It wasn't through digesting into a turd and got pooped out of
> > my butt before it was ready. Now it haunts my butt. I wake up in the
> > middle of the night and I have to take a dump. I sit on the pot and
> > crap out a turd from my anus, a turd I can actually feel getting crapped
> > out my anus and hear plopping into the water, and when I wipe my butt
> > there's nothing on the toilet paper. When I look into the toilet there
> > is no turd there. I wonder if the ghost of a turd can be exorcised out
> > of a butt. I wonder if there even is a turd ghost exorcist.
>
> This is odd. I just made an instrumental song called "I don't know if I
> need a proctologist or a ghostbuster" about a week ago. I don't think
> you're haunted, I just think you dropped a fast-diver that quickly shot
> down the pipe a bit. Um, you asshole.
> Queso

Yeah, every night in a row for six years. Dolt.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
> nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com> wrote:
>
> > My butt is haunted. It is haunted by the ghost of a turd that was pooped
> > too soon. It wasn't through digesting into a turd and got pooped out of
> > my butt before it was ready. Now it haunts my butt. I wake up in the
> > middle of the night and I have to take a dump. I sit on the pot and
> > crap out a turd from my anus, a turd I can actually feel getting crapped
> > out my anus and hear plopping into the water, and when I wipe my butt
> > there's nothing on the toilet paper. When I look into the toilet there
> > is no turd there. I wonder if the ghost of a turd can be exorcised out
> > of a butt. I wonder if there even is a turd ghost exorcist.
>
> It's because you had that abortion.

I just didn't want the responsibility of crapping a turd at that time in
my life. I didn't realize then that the pre-crapped are turds too.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>

Jesus will forgive you for what you did to that pre-crapped turd, if
you will only let Him.

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Original file name: My Haunted Butt.txt - converted on Saturday, 25 September 2004, 02:05