bacon!

From: SubGenius Spice <sgspice@MAILBOXFULLOFWORMSziplip.com>
Date: Thu, Sep 25, 2003

http://tinyurl.com/npj5

"Your dog will jump for joy when he gets a whiff of these bacon-scented
bubbles. Just fill the dispenser with bubble solution and pump the
trigger to send a stream of scrumptiously scented bubbles into the air
for Pooch to chase. Plastic dispenser comes with four ounces of nontoxic
solution.

Refills: Set of one bacon and one barbecue chicken; 8 ounces total"

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From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com>

Bacon-scented soap. lol. WHY DIDN'T ENYBODY THINK OF IT BEFORE!?

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

wow that was a lot extraneous bullshit trying to prove some point no one
gives a fuck about.

(darn good summation of Bob Dean)

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com>

http://tinyurl.com/oo4u

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

Here at Microsoft, drive head contention is more than just our promise to you.

It's a way of life.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com>

COUNTRY BACON MUSIC:

http://www.itap2.com/bacon/

CLASSICAL BACON MUSIC:

http://tafdc.org/fifendrum/Music/Sheet_Music/bacon_greg.mid

STAR-POWER BACON MUSIC:

http://www.starpages.net/K/E/Kevin_Bacon/audio.html

CANADIAN BACON MUSIC:

http://canadianbacon.proboards20.com/index.cgi?board=music

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

The subgenius must have slack!

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From: "ghost" <ghost@ghost.net>

"Joe Cosby" <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com> wrote:

> COUNTRY BACON MUSIC:
>
> http://www.itap2.com/bacon/
>
> CLASSICAL BACON MUSIC:
>
> http://tafdc.org/fifendrum/Music/Sheet_Music/bacon_greg.mid
>
> STAR-POWER BACON MUSIC:
>
> http://www.starpages.net/K/E/Kevin_Bacon/audio.html
>
> CANADIAN BACON MUSIC:
>
> http://canadianbacon.proboards20.com/index.cgi?board=music
>
See if you can find any Uncle Moishe and his Mitzvah Men...

"Hold the pork and hold the bacon,
I eat kosher, I'm not fakin'"

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: polar bear <bear@pole.com>

A few years ago I was eating lunch in this kosher deli and in walks
this Hasidic guy, all beard, hat and attitute. Wants to know HOW
kosher? Chinese girl behind the counter.... well, uh, yes...it's a
kosher deli. No no! The knives! The knives! Have they been
blessed? Poor girl... for all she knew (and cared) they could have
been blessed by a tibetian monk. Boss wasn't around, so Mr Orthodox
storms out in a rage. Straight out of a Woody Alan film.

Now my question is, say the knives WERE blessed, but say the person
serving you wasn't Jewish. Is that still Kosher? And what if she had
a double bacon cheeseburger for lunch? Would washing her hands be
sufficient, or would she have to take the day off?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "ghost" <ghost@ghost.net>

I don't know about the blessing of the knives, but kosher requires separate
food preparation tools and areas... and dishes and knives and forks.

Sure goyim are allowed to serve kosher food... especially on the Sabbath,
where most work is required to be performed by shabbas goyim.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com>

Wait, so is Kosher food blessed?

So I could buy a shopping cart full of Kosher food at the grocery
store and STEAL all those Jewish blessings for use in some terrible
Black Magic ritual?

Why did nobody tell me this before?

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

"When you were establishing your personal relationship with God didn't
He tell you that CLUELESS PEOPLE MAKE BABY JESUS CRY?"
-- Steve Sullivan

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: polar bear <bear@pole.com>

you never asked.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. ErRoR" <error@priest.com>

SubGenius Spice <sgspice@MAILBOXFULLOFWORMSziplip.com> wrote:
> http://tinyurl.com/npj5
>
> "Your dog will jump for joy when he gets a whiff of these bacon-scented
> bubbles. Just fill the dispenser with bubble solution and pump the
> trigger to send a stream of scrumptiously scented bubbles into the air
> for Pooch to chase. Plastic dispenser comes with four ounces of nontoxic
> solution.

I can produce bacon scented bubbles
If I made any attempts to explain how you'd never be able to look a pig
in the eye again

--
Rev. ErRoR
Parish of Smite-on-the-Heath

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: iDRMRSR <idrmrsr@subgenius.com>

>>kosher

In the supermarket across the street from me here in this East Side
shtetl, they actually have GLATT KOSHER TV dinners.

Imagine being a single Orthodox Jew. You've had to work late at the
diamond exchange and in the morning you accidentally spilt milk all over
your countertops, so haven't had time to blowtorch them so you can cook
some meat for dinner.

Thank JWEH there's some company in Brooklyn, NY that cooks and blesses
food, shipping it to your local supermarket so you can grab it and have
a nice holy meal in a hurry!

But shit, it's after sundown on that day of the week when you can't
fucking carry any MONEY to actually buy the damn frozen tzimmes and
felafel with beef brisket.

So you end up sitting home, trying to go over the rule book by
candlelight to find SOME loophole, and starving. Perhaps you left a
radio on...and now are receiving a Pizza Hut commercial, two LARGE
pizzas, covered with CHEESE and PORK SAUSAGE, delivered to your door for
just $17, MASTERCARD accepted...

MMMMMmmmmmmm.

Being an Orthodox Jew in the modern world is damn tough business, that's
for sure. But I'm sure once you are dead and buried all this self
discipline will finally REALLY pay off!

[*]
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Original file name: bacon!.txt - converted on Saturday, 25 September 2004, 02:05