From: iDRMRSR <idrmrsr@subgenius.com>
Date: Mon, Sep 22, 2003
Just finally got back to the old East Side Condo of
Solitude after a
LOVELY weekend away from Cleveland to attend the 2003
IndyVival. What a
splendid time, my nipples sang happy tunes all the way
home.
I left Friday and blew a sacrificial day off werke just
to get into the
religious aspect of it all, my small attempt to quit
my job and slack
off for Bob, even if it was only for one day. As penance,
I stayed over
night in enchanting Dayton, Ohio, in a Ramada Inn that
was basically
still standing since its birth in 1967 (or at least
parts of it).
This left me several hours to drive the remaining hundred
miles to
Indy. There isn't much a man can do for several hours
between Dayton
and Indy, let me tell you. However, as I have an incurable
BullDada
addiction, I spent the day stopping at every antique
shop between the
two cities along US 40, a totally forgotten blue highway.
I did pay homage to Tom Raper Recreational Vehicles
on the way. This
place sells so many freaking trailers that its name
is legion clear up
in Cleveland. I did tell Tom to pass on my regards
to Mother Raper and
Father Raper.
I passed up one piece of BullDada, a children's book
entitled Miss
Pussy. It was $20, a bit too much for an obvious joke
like that. Sort
of kicking myself, though, that I didn't part with the
change. But
there was the swag to be bought!
I stayed at the Residence Inn along Indy's famous (?)
canal, which runs
through downtown, and serves as a prop for all the yuppies
to gather
round as they relax after coming home from their demanding
government
jobs at the Kapital. Forgetting the Pinkness of it
all, though, it was
quite a lovely place, and breakfast was included in
the room price,
along with a high speed (free!) internet connection.
Dinner was at Tarkington's, next door to St. Elmo's
Steak House. This
year, I decided that $40 for a ten dollar hunk of meat
and fifty cent
potato wasn't worth it in these tough times. For the
same money,
Tarkington serves you a canonical five course prix fixe
dinner! Pear
and Leek tart, sole stuffed with shrimp, salad, three
imported cheeses,
and a raspberry tort with creme fraiche for dessert.
At least that
requires a lot more effort than just mashing some potatoes
and burning a
steak, I reasoned.
Got to Radio Radio at about 7:45, after adjusting my
time control
bracelet for the hour's difference between Ohio time.
We were all
forced to wait outside because of some Amish Law in
Indy that you can't
start drinking until the band is all set up or something.
Chatted with
Rev. Alex, who as it turns out, was TOO YOUNG to get
in. My they have
straight laces down there.
I didn't realize that Rev. Alex was "underage".
I praise him for
finding Bob so early in life. Usually, one has to grow
to a ripe middle
age after getting ass-raped by Life before you find
this Cherch. I can
only imagine the tribulations in his short life which
led him to the New
World Order so young!
SisD arrived in a breathtaking (mine, not necessarily
HERS) black vinyl
bustier corsety kind of thing. She IS the Dark Queen!
When German
Scientists first cobbled together the various aniline
and coal tar
derivatives and sewed them up into a garment (besides
a gas mask, or
perhaps including one), I believe they must have had
her in mind. As
they slaved in their laboratories, I'm sure they did
it just knowing
SisD would one day be born to breathe life into their
new material!
SisD is beyond a doubt a wonder of the world. Resplendent
with
Rubenesque zauftig pulchritude that overflows its container
spewing
visual nectar for us hummingbirds, as it were. And
she's a really nice
lady, too.
Pope Phred got the show off to a sputtering start with
the video
projector whose behavior echoed the recent Blackout
many of us in the
east suffered recently. Nevertheless, Rev. Stang's
fiery rant recharged
everyone's glands. Then Dr. Howl spake on and quoted
Bill Blake at
length. Love that Fez!
The music for the evening, though, was apparently not
up with the whole
SubGenius thing. I heard that the drummer got so freaked
out by us all,
he walked out, leaving the other band members to improvise
something in
his absence. I believe that is, though, a left-handed
compliment to us
all.
Nikkie Deathchick purged demons from the buttocks of
numerous sinners in
a ritual spanking. I was tempted to proffer my own
world class
buttocks, however, the venue wanted us out by 1 AM,
and on a square
footage basis, there would not have been enough time
for her to purge
the first demon from my puffy and grand ass in the time
allotted. Even
with both hands in operation.
Stang ranted once again and came out with some of the
funniest damned
lines, especially the part about learning to give the
best oral sex
while inside a barrel...to survive the victory of the
Jackbooted
Republicans who will one day dominate the world as they
attempt to
cleanse it of terrorists. Then Dr. Howl and Stang answered
questions,
Karnac stylem from the audience. Stallio played on
to close out the
evening.
I pooped out just after 1 AM. I drove through Indy's
confusing warren
of one way streets that always seem to go the wrong
way, and luckily
found my hotel. Navigation in Indy, I find to be quite
challenging
because everywhere you need to be turns out to be at
the origin of four
one way roads going the opposite way. Not only that,
but the same road
changes names every other block.
If you were unlucky like me and printed a map from the
internet, you
would be screwed because they don't show the directions
and/or all the
name changes. Next time, I will bring along that machine
they used in
The Core to tunnel through the earth. No parking problems
then, either.
Greetz to Doc Frop, DJ Epoch, 2Beans, Rev. Pickles,
Rev. Alex,
Christopher Lee, Pope Phred, SisD, Nikki, and many other
SubG's whose
names unfortunately seem to have been erased by the
Absolut Mandarin I
was sucking down waiting for the show to set up. Funny
how such a short
molecule can give you so much Slack and yet fuzz out
the important
details.
A rip roaring success. Can't wait until Indyvival 2004!
[*]
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From: "Rev. Nickie" <nickie@subgenius.com>
iDRMRSR <idrmrsr@subgenius.com> wrote:
> I didn't realize that Rev. Alex was "underage".
I praise him for
> finding Bob so early in life. Usually, one has
to grow to a ripe
> middle age after getting ass-raped by Life before
you find this
> Cherch. I can only imagine the tribulations in
his short life which
> led him to the New World Order so young!
One of the reasons I like Rev Alex so much is that we
found "Bob" at the
SAME AGE- we were both TWELVE. Life had ass-raped me
enough by then to
know all about the Conspiracy. In fact, the acronym
for CONSPIRACY-
found in pamphlet #2 - is that which made me go, "Yep.
All I have to do
now is find these people, and things will be fine".
Well, I did find
them, 8 to 10 years later, and things haven't been FINE,
but they sure
would've been a whole lot worse. A fuckload worse, actually.
All I had
at that point was a look at pamphlet #2 and the Book,
and it took me
years to find it again. Rev. Alex is lucky that he's
had constant
contact.
And that acronym for those who don't know and are too
lazy to look it
up:
Cliques Of Normals Secretly Plotting Insidious Rituals
Aimed at
Controlling You.
Quite something, especially if you're a 12-year-old
recovering Catholic.
Hence the nun's outfit.
-Rev. Nickie