Dear Subgenius Penis Enlargement Specialist

From: "Asquire" <asquire1313@hotmail.com>
Date: Mon, Jun 16, 2003

Dear Subgenius Penis Enlargement Specialist,

If you get forceful blowjobs....as in, you get sucked really hard...will it
increase your size?

Sincerely,
Wenie Angst

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From: zosodada@aol.com (Zosodada)

Yes, it does tend to work like that.

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From: John Starrett <jstarret@carbon.cudenver.edu>

Oh, yes, yes indeed. Yes... Yes.... YES!!!!!

John Starrett

"It does not require a majority to prevail,
but rather an irate, tireless minority keen
to set brush fires in people's minds."

Samuel Adams

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From: "nu-monet v5.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>

Only if properly done by an industrial-
strength wet/dry vacuum.

Please note: tube type, not upright.
and do not stick penis into mechanism
fan blade area. Carpet cleaning machines
and roto sweepers are also regarded as
less than effective. Be sure to clean
storage mechanism at least monthly, or
that stink can get narsty.
In addition, never put tube vacuum
cleaner in reverse and insert tube in
rectum while wearing a school girl's
outfit, protective mask and flippers.

--
"Getting shot at was not that bad,
just the getting shot part sucked"
-- U.S. Army Staff Sgt. Villafane

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From: "Markku Nivalainen" <nolife@despammed.com>

Your post sucked. Did it increase anyone's size?

--
Markku N.

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From: Wbarwell <Wbarwell@munnged.mylinuxisp.com>

No. But if you are getting forceful blow jobs,
what do you care?

Cheerful Charlie

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From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com>

Maybe, I wouldn't depend on it though.

Just use some Bondo and a little flesh-colored paint.

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

Usenet is a fantastically complex and expensive
network of interconnected computers in which trillions
of bytes of information flow, managed by an enormous army of
system administrators, allowing people of all walks of
life and from every part of the world to come together,
and call each other rude names.
- Artemia Salina

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From: El Queso <""the_cheese_23\"@(nospam)yahoo.com>

That's what I did, and I've increased my girth to a whopping 67 inches.
It's bigger around than my leg now.
Queso

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From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com>

I can stopper my kitchen sink while I do the dishes.

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

"Guns don't kill Nenslo-- people kill Nenslo."

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From: "nikolai kingsley" <nikolai@broadway.net.au>

and turn the pages of the music without having to stop playing the
euphonium.

nikolai
---
dozens of uses.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: El Queso <""the_cheese_23\"@(nospam)yahoo.com>

Dude, keep your dick out of the vacuum cleaner.
Q

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From: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)

I received $200 total in the mail in one week for stuff I did mostly
for FUN. That'll give you the best boner you can get, short of some
nice gurl saying "yes" to your slavering male approach.

--

HellPope Huey @ hellpopehuey@subgenius.com, C57-D/ae-35/999
Order within your next 10 sins
and receive one "Get Out Of Hell Free" coupon

"We must question the story logic of having
an all-knowing, all-powerful God, who creates faulty humans
and then blames them for his own mistakes."
- Gene Roddenberry -

"Satan, you owe me!"
- "Futurama"

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From: "Dick Hertz (Hey, who's Dick Hertz?)" <me@example.com>

Plus you can trade one for the other, depending on your personal
opinion of the proper definition of the word "nice."

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "nu-monet v5.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>

HellPopeHuey wrote:
> I received $200 total in the mail in one
> week for stuff I did mostly for FUN. That'll
> give you the best boner you can get, short of
> some nice gurl saying "yes" to your slavering
> male approach.

"Yes", or "That'll be $50", six of one.

--
Lose unsightly fat *and* make homemade
soap in just minutes--ask me how!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)

In Arkinsaw, $200 can buy you 19 hookers and a good milk goat.
Sometimes the goat will look better, but what they lack in
attractiveness, they make up for in snuff.

--

HellPope Huey @ hellpopehuey@subgenius.com, C57-D/ae-35/999

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Modemac <modemac@modemac.com>

"Asquire" <asquire1313@hotmail.com>wrote:
>If you get forceful blowjobs....as in, you get sucked really hard...will it
>increase your size?

Just answer all those spam emails you get promoting penis enlargement.
I did so, and now my penis is forty-three meters long.

--
First Online Church of "Bob"
http://www.modemac.com/

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Original file name: Dear Subgenius Penis#1AD0D4.txt - converted on Saturday, 25 September 2004, 02:05