Send help!

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>
Date: Mon, Mar 29, 2004

fenian <fenian@start.ca> wrote:
> London, Ontario, bastion of Canadian pinkness, has recently brought to
> the airwaves a radio station known as BOB FM. It started with signs, "Bob is
> coming". You can imagine my terror, and my joy.Upon first hearing this, I
> thought, praise the indomitable name, has he come? I lay prostrate before my
> radio, and tuned it to 93.9 frequency modulated, and waited to be taken.
> Imagine my horror when Green Day spewed forth. I'm still trying to get
> clean. For BOB FM spews pinkness. And it claims the holy name for its foul
> wares. Do I misread this phenomenon, Reverends? Is this, perhaps, some
> message from "Bob" that I do not comprehend? Or is this high sacrilege,
> demanding vengeance, torn muscle tissue and bone chips on every level? What
> to do?? WHAT TO DO??! Even their website (http://www.939bobfm.com) reaks of
> unholy lies. BOB's Got Bowie. Does "Bob" got Bowie???? Of course he has.
> Back To The 80's With BOB At Capital Music Hall???? Time control?!!? With
> "Bob"?! No. BOB. Who, what is this BOB? It is not "Bob". Or is it? Surely,
> the BOB which can be named is not the true "Bob". Evaluate please. If you
> feel you must, then please, send troops. I will feed them.

Thanks the the heads-up, but it's a false alarm. Many people seem
surprised to learn this, but Bob is the most common name in the English
speaking world. Several physiolinguistic characteristics distinguish
the one true J. R. "Bob" Dobbs from the rest: the quote marks, the last
name, the first two initials, and the Pipe. Without the quote marks
and the Pipe, especially, it's just another of the hundred million Pink
Bobs.

This has been going on forever. Every year some big advertising company
uses a psuedo-"Bob" as the centerpiece of a national ad campaign. Just
hearing the name "Bob," flatly spoken, makes some people laugh. This
won't change and is a part of Nature.

Pinks imitate poorly, but continuously and instinctively.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
PRABOB

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From: rabbs@subgenius.com (Rabbi Jacklyn Hyde)

Some folks need to be reminded of this information in a calm,
non-threatening voice. Otherwise they get very upset. Best to speak
soothingly as you fumble for the pepper spray.

Stang, sometimes you are the best truth screamer in the world, my
darling dear. Granted, the rest of the time I take what you say with
a shaker of salt, but this is a refreshing moment.

--With love, the Rabbs

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From: bobdiddley@aol.com (Bobdiddley)

Fenian warned us:
>London, Ontario, bastion of Canadian pinkness, has recently brought to
>the airwaves a radio station known as BOB FM. It started with signs, "Bob is
>coming". You can imagine my terror, and my joy.Upon first hearing this

There's one in Ottawa also. There's also a Jack. I decided to turn Jack off.
And I never heard Bob. Their tv ads are slightly intriguing, the first time
around.

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Original file name: Re- Send help!.txt - converted on Saturday, 25 September 2004, 02:05