From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>
Date: Mon, Jul 12, 2004
We do yard work on a need-to-mow basis, except around
X-Day, when
everything around the house goes all to hell completely.
Imagine having
for simultaneous houseguests Dr. Philo Drummond, Dr.
G. Gordon Gordon,
Dr. Howll, Dok Frop and Sister Decadence. That's a lot
of Doktors, and,
for that matter, a lot of Connietite High Priestess.
But yesterday was X-Day for my lawn. Such as it is.
It's nothing fancy,
just various kinds of grass and weeds. We mess with
it about as much as
the neighborhood codes force us to. But that yard holds
MILLIONS upon
MILLIONS of blades of grass -- grass I enjoyed thinking
of as Souls
while I was mowing. I was the Xist Fleet, and I was
harvesting the
Little Green Souls into Escape Vessel Shuttles, the
lawn bags. From
there they were transfered to a Holding Planet briefly,
until the main
Mothership could arrive in the form of a Cleveland Heights
garbage
truck, and whisk them off to Planet X itself, Pleasure
Dimension Zero,
represented by the City Dump.
Good thing I did, too, because it looks like it's fixing to rain again.
We are STILL UNPACKING. We haven't even labeled all
the videotape rolls
we shot. Our laundry is somewhat done, however. I downloaded
good
copies of the SUPERB Post-7X-Day show by Puzzling Evidence
with Howll
and Philo reporting their adventures (I called in too),
and I copped
the nearly FOUR HOURS of KILLER X-Day material from
Lymph Node
Institute that was archived at wrek.org (including the
live phone-in
from Brushwood by Steve Scynic, Lil and me) , and I
recorded Rev. Susie
the Floozy's post-X-Day show as it was streamed live,
from the same
source. Susie also mailed me her TWO X-Day/armageddon/aliens
collage
shows from two weeks ago!
Wei, Dave and I went to the station last night with
all this stuff in
hand in order to do a live show with it, only to find
that the station
mix board was temporarily under repair, and shows were
being done from
a really limited one-headphone patch-up in another room...
so
Clevelanders heard a premixed Beachland-devival-based
show instead. We
went to my house and called in to Dr. Sinister's show
later. As did St.
Bucky, who is practically a regular on that show now.
Due to a crash
the only recording I got of that was on a cassette in
a boom-box.
I will be posting the smaller bits of this audio to
a.b.slack all week
probably, and the larger monstro whole-show chunks to
a.b.monter-movies
-- before I chop them to pieces for use on Hour of Slack.
There's a lot
to work with here.
I have not even HEARD what Pater Nostril recorded off
the board during
the Acid Corpses, Little Fyodor and The Amino Acids.
I also have about
4 hours of sound to transfer from the borrowed DV video
cam, which
usually turns out to be our best audio source.
--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath
of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
PRABOB
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Cardinal Vertigo <vertigo@alexandria.cc>
Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
[snip]
> From
> there they were transfered to a Holding Planet
briefly, until the main
> Mothership could arrive in the form of a Cleveland
Heights garbage
> truck, and whisk them off to Planet X itself, Pleasure
Dimension Zero,
> represented by the City Dump.
Don't you have a city-run mass composting site for yard
waste? I'd
think that'd be Pleasure Dimension Zero for grass clippings.
--
"I don't know which is worse, ...that everyone
has his price, or that
the price is always so low."
- Hobbes, in Bill Watterson's "Calvin and Hobbes"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com>
"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
> But yesterday was X-Day for my lawn. Such as it
is. It's nothing fancy,
> just various kinds of grass and weeds. We mess
with it about as much as
> the neighborhood codes force us to. But that yard
holds MILLIONS upon
> MILLIONS of blades of grass -- grass I enjoyed
thinking of as Souls
> while I was mowing. I was the Xist Fleet, and I
was harvesting the
> Little Green Souls into Escape Vessel Shuttles,
the lawn bags. From
> there they were transfered to a Holding Planet
briefly, until the main
> Mothership could arrive in the form of a Cleveland
Heights garbage
> truck, and whisk them off to Planet X itself, Pleasure
Dimension Zero,
> represented by the City Dump.
Here's another handy Nenslo homemaker's tip - if you
don't have the
wherewithal to maintain a compost heap, just LEAVE THE
BAG OFF THE
MOWER. All the grass corpses return to the earth, and
you won't believe
how much less work you have to do. What are you, crazy?
You think
you're going to get more weeds than you already have?
And if so, who
cares? Better yet, get rid of your lawn entirely.
It is TOTALLY
USELESS. Or as my neighborlady says, "Grass is
garbage."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "nu-monet v7.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>
nenslo wrote:
> Here's another handy Nenslo homemaker's tip -
> if you don't have the wherewithal to maintain a
> compost heap, just LEAVE THE BAG OFF THE MOWER.
Which over time makes a nice, thick mat that has
to be roto-tilled, and you know how much fun *that*
can be, especially when your Mexicans shred your
sprinklers.
--
Baksheesh makes the world go round.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "fenian" <fenian@start.ca>
"nenslo" <nenslo@yahoox.com> wrote:
> cares? Better yet, get rid of your lawn entirely.
It is TOTALLY
Here here!!
Fucking assanine how there are MILLIONS of square acres
of DELICIOUS HEALTHY
grass. To cause water shortages in hot weather! To encourage
enviromental
damage! To dump thousands of tonnes of useless lawn
mower emissions! GRASS
IS OF THE CONSPIRACY! KILL YOUR LAWN!
Billions of starving people on earth and we're growing
GRASS with all this
fine acreage. At least clover is more suited to (this
part of the world
anyway) the enviroment, it'll grow with whats there,
and you don't have to
mow it, and it looks nice. Better yet, I hear fresh
carrots, beans, spinach,
tomatoes, and frop are delicious.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Cardinal Vertigo <vertigo@alexandria.cc>
fenian wrote:
> "nenslo" <nenslo@yahoox.com> wrote
>
>>cares? Better yet, get rid of your lawn entirely.
It is TOTALLY
>
> Here here!!
>
> Fucking assanine how there are MILLIONS of square
acres of DELICIOUS HEALTHY
> grass.
Grasses are fairly well-suited to the environment they
grow in,
especially if properly cared for.
> To cause water shortages in hot weather!
Not if you don't water. A lawn that gets a little brown
in summer will
bounce back just fine in fall.
> To encourage enviromental damage!
Only if you use gallons and gallons of fertilizers and
weed killers.
You don't need either if you mow properly. In spring,
wait to mow the
lawn until it's a good three or four inches tall. Then,
when you do mow
it, set the blade as high as it will go. It looks fine
and chokes out
most any weed.
> To dump thousands of tonnes of useless lawn mower emissions!
Oh bullshit. You probably dump less greenhouse gases
and particulate
emissions in an entire year of mowing than you do in
three trips to Safeway.
If you're a really uptight about it, you can use an
electric (though
some hippies seem to forget that unless electricity
came from a
geothermal, hydro, solar, wind, or nuke station, something
got burned to
generate it). Better yet use one of those old-school
engineless jobs.
I hear they're not THAT bad.
> GRASS IS OF THE CONSPIRACY! KILL YOUR LAWN!
Suit yourself.
> Billions of starving people on earth and we're
growing GRASS with all this
> fine acreage.
So convert your yard to a garden, and have fun trying
to donate the
harvest to a food bank. (You'd be better off just handing
it out to
homeless people yourself.)
> At least clover is more suited to (this part of
the world
> anyway) the enviroment
Where's "this part of the world?" Most turfgrasses
are pretty
well-suited to just about anywhere in North America.
The only real advantage to clover is that if there are
any beekeepers
within a couple km of you, reseeding with it will make
the bees *very*
happy, and happy bees make for happy beekeepers. If
you know of a
beekeeper in the area, tell him you're reseeding your
lawn with clover.
He'll probably hook you up with some honey after he
harvests the first
flow to come off your yard.
Even if you live in a city you probably have beekeepers
within foraging
radius whether you know it or not -- suburbia is dotted
with hobbyist
beekeepers who keep a hive or two. Follow a bee sometime;
eventually
she'll head back to her hive, and climbing over fences
and running
across busy streets to chase a bee is a terribly entertaining
way to
spend a summer afternoon, especially if you enlist the
aid of a pretty
girl who likes to laugh.
> it'll grow with whats there, and you don't have
to
> mow it, and it looks nice.
Same for grass, if you don't mind letting it grow, or
don't consider
mowing to be all that horrible of a chore.
> Better yet, I hear fresh carrots, beans, spinach,
> tomatoes, and frop are delicious.
Might want to keep one of those crops in the basement, though.
--
"Golf is like sex. You don't have to be good at
it to enjoy it."
- Willie Nelson
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Cardinal Vertigo <vertigo@alexandria.cc>
nenslo wrote:
> "Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
>>But yesterday was X-Day for my lawn. Such as
it is. It's nothing fancy,
>>just various kinds of grass and weeds. We mess
with it about as much as
>>the neighborhood codes force us to. But that
yard holds MILLIONS upon
>>MILLIONS of blades of grass -- grass I enjoyed
thinking of as Souls
>>while I was mowing. I was the Xist Fleet, and
I was harvesting the
>>Little Green Souls into Escape Vessel Shuttles,
the lawn bags. From
>>there they were transfered to a Holding Planet
briefly, until the main
>>Mothership could arrive in the form of a Cleveland
Heights garbage
>>truck, and whisk them off to Planet X itself,
Pleasure Dimension Zero,
>>represented by the City Dump.
>
> Here's another handy Nenslo homemaker's tip - if
you don't have the
> wherewithal to maintain a compost heap, just LEAVE
THE BAG OFF THE
> MOWER. All the grass corpses return to the earth,
and you won't believe
> how much less work you have to do. What are you,
crazy? You think
> you're going to get more weeds than you already
have? And if so, who
> cares? Better yet, get rid of your lawn entirely.
It is TOTALLY
> USELESS. Or as my neighborlady says, "Grass
is garbage."
I mowed many a lawn in my youth, so I consider myself
fairly expert on
the subject.
Stang's probably one of those guys who just has a push
mower and likes
to go months without mowing, finally breaking down only
when it looks
like one of those prairie reclamation projects that
midwestern state
conservation departments are always running.
When you do finally mow a lawn like that, the ejected
clippings are so
damn thick they'll block all the light and kill the
grass underneath.
And they're so thick you can't go over them with the
mower again to
mulch them up; it'll stop the blade and stall the engine.
Unless you have a riding mower. Then you can just drive
it around until
the whole lawn is covered in sticky green mulch. It's
really good for
the grass, and has the added bonus of making the lawn
look and smell
like someone broke up a few hundred bricks of freshly
harvested
first-class hydroganja over it.
--
"Every time man makes a new experiment he always
learns more. He
cannot learn less."
- Buckminster Fuller
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Leonard The Committed <ccssk@spumsuckingspammers-chartermi.net>
> Here's another handy Nenslo homemaker's tip - if
you don't have the
> wherewithal to maintain a compost heap, just LEAVE
THE BAG OFF THE
> MOWER. All the grass corpses return to the earth,
and you won't believe
> how much less work you have to do. What are you,
crazy? You think
> you're going to get more weeds than you already
have? And if so, who
> cares? Better yet, get rid of your lawn entirely.
It is TOTALLY
> USELESS. Or as my neighborlady says, "Grass
is garbage."
I agree with this post!
Let me know if you are looking for a cheap and easy
lawn alternative, I
know of a shitpot of 'em.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: urpansoph@aol.com (Ur Pansoph)
<<Better yet, get rid of your lawn entirely. >>
Can't do it.
I'm addicted to grass.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Cardinal Vertigo <vertigo@alexandria.cc>
Leonard The Committed wrote:
>>Here's another handy Nenslo homemaker's tip
- if you don't have the
>>wherewithal to maintain a compost heap, just
LEAVE THE BAG OFF THE
>>MOWER. All the grass corpses return to the
earth, and you won't believe
>>how much less work you have to do. What are
you, crazy? You think
>>you're going to get more weeds than you already
have? And if so, who
>>cares? Better yet, get rid of your lawn entirely.
It is TOTALLY
>>USELESS. Or as my neighborlady says, "Grass
is garbage."
>
> I agree with this post!
>
> Let me know if you are looking for a cheap and
easy lawn alternative, I
> know of a shitpot of 'em.
Clover, man, I'm telling you. You'll be the local beekeeper's
new best
friend, and that's definitely a good thing.
See, honey straight from the beekeeper is going to be
the best you've
ever had. The stuff from the supermarket tastes like
cough syrup in
comparison.
And when beekeepers give away honey, they just cut you
a huge chunk of
comb right off the frame and wrap it in cloth. That
way they don't have
to extract the honey from the comb, which is a serious
pain in the ass
generally required when selling to a distributor. But
since you don't
have a few hundred pounds of honey to extract from fifty
pounds of comb,
it's not such a big deal for you. So if you want, you
can throw the
comb in a saucepan, skim the beeswax off, and make a
candle or something.
And the beekeeper knows you'll get hooked on his primo
homegrown, which
means you'll come back with your checkbook looking for
more. That cuts
out the chain of middlemen and helps his margin. Some
beekeepers are
able to sustain their operation just by selling comb
honey to other locals.
You'll be supporting an environmentally sustainable
local business
(often run by interesting, eccentric people) and have
a constant supply
of the finest honey in the world.
When the clover flows are on, I bet sitting on the porch
while sipping a
beer and watching the bees foraging over your pretty
purple lawn is kind
of nice, too.
Just don't plan on being able to roll around naked on
your lawn during
the day when a flow is on. Got kids? Well, "don't
bother the bees and
they won't bother you" is a good lesson to learn
early in life, with
many applications extending way beyond human-insect
relations.
--
"I like the job. That's what I'll miss the most...
I'm not sure
anybody ever liked this as much as I've liked it."
- Bill Clinton
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "abNorm Nihil" <abnorm.nihil@comcast.net>
> > Here's another handy Nenslo homemaker's tip
- if you don't have the
> > wherewithal to maintain a compost heap, just
LEAVE THE BAG OFF THE
> > MOWER. All the grass corpses return to the
earth, and you won't believe
> > how much less work you have to do. What are
you, crazy? You think
> > you're going to get more weeds than you already
have? And if so, who
> > cares? Better yet, get rid of your lawn entirely.
It is TOTALLY
> > USELESS. Or as my neighborlady says, "Grass
is garbage."
I never water, fertilize or weed my lawn. Some of those
weeds have pretty
white and purple flowers in the early summer. And don't
forget the yellow
dandelions. I mow it before it gets too high, but that's
where I stop. If my
lawn wants to die or get infested with bugs and weeds,
fine, I will let it
do just that.
--
Rev. abNorm Nihil
Screaming Monkey Institute of Latent Eremitical Studies
"Higher Slack Through Misanthropy"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "iDRMRSR" <idrmrsr@subgenius.com>
A propos the city compost heap, I understand in this
liberal enclave of
Cleveland Heights, one can register to marry each severed
blade of grass.
Then your employer would be responsible for all the
charges required to
nurse them back to health, under the "family"
medical coverage.
[*]
-----
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Leonard The Committed <ccssk@spumsuckingspammers-chartermi.net>
> Clover, man, I'm telling you. You'll be the local
beekeeper's new best
> friend, and that's definitely a good thing.
>
> See, honey straight from the beekeeper is going
to be the best you've
> ever had. The stuff from the supermarket tastes
like cough syrup in
> comparison.
>
> And when beekeepers give away honey, they just
cut you a huge chunk of
> comb right off the frame and wrap it in cloth.
That way they don't have
> to extract the honey from the comb, which is a
serious pain in the ass
> generally required when selling to a distributor.
But since you don't
> have a few hundred pounds of honey to extract from
fifty pounds of comb,
> it's not such a big deal for you. So if you want,
you can throw the
> comb in a saucepan, skim the beeswax off, and make
a candle or something.
>
> And the beekeeper knows you'll get hooked on his
primo homegrown, which
> means you'll come back with your checkbook looking
for more. That cuts
> out the chain of middlemen and helps his margin.
Some beekeepers are
> able to sustain their operation just by selling
comb honey to other locals.
>
> You'll be supporting an environmentally sustainable
local business
> (often run by interesting, eccentric people) and
have a constant supply
> of the finest honey in the world.
>
> When the clover flows are on, I bet sitting on
the porch while sipping a
> beer and watching the bees foraging over your pretty
purple lawn is kind
> of nice, too.
>
> Just don't plan on being able to roll around naked
on your lawn during
> the day when a flow is on. Got kids? Well, "don't
bother the bees and
> they won't bother you" is a good lesson to
learn early in life, with
> many applications extending way beyond human-insect
relations.
What, you a contributor to Mother Earth News now? (_!_)
Your intentions are good here, but I'm pretty sure that
in this context we
are talking about a 'burb sized lot the way it sounds.
Sure, clover is
good without a doubt. Especially if planted after a
year of summer and
winter grasses as a cover crop. Lawn is an ideal situation
here, just chop it up and mix it in with what soil is
there. Also worth
testing the soil to lessen the acidity if need be.
Bees however are a different story. You'll see a shitpot
of the bastards
when the clover flowers. How long does that last? What
do they eat when
there's no clover? How do you not scare off the niebors
to the point they
call the man? Why does this knowledge drive people to
"gig" feral lapdogs
and burn symbols of endangered primates?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Cardinal Vertigo <vertigo@alexandria.cc>
Yes, there'll be a shitpot of the bastards when the
flowers' nectar
content is at their peak (when the "honeyflow"
is on). You won't be
able to be in the yard while the flow is on (it's about
a few weeks if I
remember right). Like mama said, if you don't bother
them they won't
bother you. But the neighbors probably won't care because
they won't
really have a reason to care. Bees will fly straight
to the yard and
straight back, and suburban bees usually fly about eight
or ten feet
high to clear fences so they never really come in contact
with people.
When your yard's flow ends, the bees will stop coming
except for the
occasional scout. The foragers will find another patch
of something
that's flowering, or their beekeeper will notice they're
not storing any
honey and will feed them sugar water to keep the hive
strong until they
find another hot source.
Foraging bees are incredibly docile -- European honeybees
only get
aggressive when they're defending their hive, which
means only about a
15 foot radius, maybe 50 feet for a really aggressive
hive. Beekeepers
usually requeen hives that are that hot, though.
Unless you're right on top of a hive and encounter its
guard bees (which
ram into any intruders as a warning before they start
trying to sting),
the only bees you'll ever see are foragers and scouts.
Flowers are all
they're interested in; they've got the single-minded
efficiency of
robots. That's all bees are, really; biological robots.
If you ever get a bee in the house, it's just trying
to find a flower.
Jar it and let it go; if you crush it it'll release
alarm pheromones
that can flip a switch in any nearby scouts or foragers,
turning them
into guards for a while.
Really, though, European honeybees are so docile that
you'd be surprised
how many eccentric suburbanites keep a hive or two as
a hobby. They
usually don't make a public issue of it beyond warning
the neighbors to
keep their kids out of the yard. You might check your
city's laws, but
most of them are accomodating; no permits necessary
for less than a
certain (large) number of hives.
Disclaimer: I am not a beekeeper, just an informed layman.
One of the
houses I grew up in was next door to a weird old man
named Willoughby
who kept bees; all the other kids in the neighborhood
were afraid of him
because he was always yelling to stay out of his yard.
Just an amiably
cranky old man with a veiled spacesuit and a humming
backyard; I think
the word was that he had lived in the house since the
subdivision was
built in the fifties, but his wife had died years and
years ago. He
seemed like a pretty cool cat, though being a kid I
was always a little
too intimidated by him to just knock on his door and
see if he wanted
some company.
You really didn't want to lose your football or your
frisbee over the
fence into old man Willoughby's yard, because climbing
the fence to
retreive it was verboten. You had to go all the way
around, knock on
the front door, and hope he hadn't left. He drove a
gigantic black
Buick which he kept garaged and spotless and probably
had no business
driving, though the only places he ever went any more
(as he was fond of
repeating) were the barber shop, the supermarket, the
diner, and the
post office. I think he might have gone to church on
Christmas and Easter.
From what I could tell, when old man Willoughby wasn't
gadding about
town or tending his bees, he mostly watched history
documentaries,
listened to the BBC World Service, or played opera records.
He didn't
hear too well, so all of them were always at full volume.
He's probably dead now; he was at least a hundred and
fifty then. I
wonder what happened to his bees.
If I end up like old man Willoughby, I'll be fine with that.
--
"The illusion of freedom will continue as long
as it's profitable to
continue the illusion. At the point where the illusion
becomes too
expensive to maintain, they will just take down the
scenery, they
will pull back the curtains, they will move the tables
and chairs out
of the way, and you will see the brick wall at the
back of the
theatre."
- Frank Zappa
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>
iDRMRSR <idrmrsr@subgenius.com> wrote:
> A propos the city compost heap, I understand in
this liberal enclave of
> Cleveland Heights, one can register to marry each
severed blade of grass.
> Then your employer would be responsible for all
the charges required to
> nurse them back to health, under the "family"
medical coverage.
>
> [*]
> -----
It's all bullshit. I know this garbageman. Even though
different trucks
pick up the recyclables and the trash, they both go
to the same place
-- the dump. The market for recyclables was glutted
some time ago, this
garbageman says, and they haven't found anybody who'll
even take the
paper trash for free. So, even though the plants can
marry legally,
they still become landfill.
After reading all the advice from folks who didn't read
my voluminous
essay very closely, but excel at the conclusion high-jump,
I think what
I'm gonna do is take a can of gasoline and pour it out
on the grass to
spell "DO-GOODERS GO HOME" in giant block
letters of poisoned grass. If
I wasn't afraid of trademark infringement suits from
both Janor and
LIES, I'd write out "Have a Nice Day" in animal
skulls too. I have
almost enough skulls already.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Joe Cosby <http://joecosby.com/code/mail.pl>
"mean people suck" in animal skulls would be kind of cool.
--
Joe Cosby
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>
Rev. Ivan Stang <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com> wrote:
> It's all bullshit. I know this garbageman. Even
though different trucks
> pick up the recyclables and the trash, they both
go to the same place
> -- the dump. The market for recyclables was glutted
some time ago, this
> garbageman says, and they haven't found anybody
who'll even take the
> paper trash for free. So, even though the plants
can marry legally,
> they still become landfill.
CORRECTION! Princess Wei says I am wrong, that this
garbageman works
for another city. Chagrin Falls or someplace. She says
that the reason
we put our grass clippings in those special giant PAPER
bags is because
that way the grass and the bags too all go into some
city mulch pile or
whatnot. She says the special blue bags with the cans
and bottles
really do get recycled too. I will believe her since
it is comforting
to believe that. What with going to the trouble of separating
that
crap, I'd hate to think I really was doing it for no
reason at all.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "nu-monet v7.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>
Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
> ...She says the special blue bags with the cans
> and bottles really do get recycled too.
I met a kook in Neuvo Mehico, an artsy type who lived
in a pretty large hacienda near Albuquerquequecue.
He
had a big homemade pottery kiln that could go a lot
hotter than the typical, so he decided to do his own
recycling.
He started out with glass, making things like black
glass cobblestones and bricks, before trying to make
clear glass stair steps that were thick enough to walk
on. Fortunately, he eventually settled for plexiglass
before anyone got hurt. Still a very uncomfortable
feeling walking up something you could see through.
Then he decided to recycle the aluminum cans he and
his friends & family went through with great speed.
Not wanting to waste time, he first invented a 4' tall
grinding *thing*, that was like a 3-stage paper shredder.
Well, pretty soon he had several traditionally shaped,
two-horned aluminum ingots. Then he had several more.
Then an s-load of these heavy hunks of aluminum. But
he just couldn't think of anything he wanted to make
of
it.
So eventually, like Oddjob, he and the wife took all
these ingots down to the recycling center in the back
of a pickup. They told him to get lost--they couldn't
handle blocks of aluminum--couldn't be ground in their
machines.
So, there is now a unique driveway in Albuquerquequecue
environs. One with aluminum-ingot and gravel. I have
no idea what they now do with all their aluminum beer
cans.
--
"Mars was destroyed with weapons from the future.
There, does that make you feel any better?"
-- nu-monet
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Artemia Salina <y2k@sheayright.com>
nu-monet v7.0 wrote:
> So eventually, like Oddjob, he and the wife took
all
> these ingots down to the recycling center in the
back
> of a pickup. They told him to get lost--they couldn't
> handle blocks of aluminum--couldn't be ground in
their
> machines.
>
> So, there is now a unique driveway in Albuquerquequecue
> environs. One with aluminum-ingot and gravel.
Hmmm, it'd be cool if he were to remelt those ingots
and
cast them into pavers and then make his entire driveway
out of them. Each one could have a unique design cast
into
it, etc.
Follow the aluminumbrick road! Follow the aluminumbrick road!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "HdMrs. Salacia the Overseer" <seventhsqueal@yahoo.com>
Artemia Salina wrote:
> Hmmm, it'd be cool if he were to remelt those ingots
and
> cast them into pavers and then make his entire
driveway
> out of them. Each one could have a unique design
cast into
> it, etc.
>
> Follow the aluminumbrick road! Follow the aluminumbrick
road!
There's a special process to recycling aluminum cans.
I don't know what
it is, but it requires a lot of work to get out a lot
of impurities.
Whenever we would try to use them to cast sculpture
the can aluminum
would come out porous and bubbly, almost like aluminum
pumice. Useless.
~Salacia
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Artemia Salina <y2k@sheayright.com>
Your aluminum needed to be degassed. This is a common
problem in backyard
foundry work. You can degas an aluminum charge by tossing
a pool chlorine
tablet into the crucible of molten aluminum. DON'T BREATHE
THE FUMES THAT
RESULT, and be sure that the tablet is dry before placing
in the crucible;
water in molten metal will turn to steam in an explosive
fashion. Borax
powder makes a good flux for molten aluminum which prevents
oxides (slag)
from forming.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "HdMrs. Salacia the Overseer" <seventhsqueal@yahoo.com>
Alt.slack knows ALL.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Artemia Salina <y2k@sheayright.com>
PH33R /\/\Y 3L33t C45T1NG 5|<1LLZ!!!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "abNorm Nihil" <abnorm.nihil@comcast.net>
At XD6, Rev. Fudpucker (with some assisstance from me)
melted a few hundred
aluminium cans down and poured a few alien heads in
a sand mold. This was
done over an open campfire, and required LOTS of wood
and time. Thus the
activity was not repeated this year.
We re-melted the ingots and scraped off the slag to
get rid of the
impurities. Seemed to work, at least a bit. We'll have
to try the chlorine
and Borax, if there's a next time.
--
Rev. abNorm Nihil
Screaming Monkey Institute of Latent Eremitical Studies
"Higher Slack Through Misanthropy"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: fenian <fenian@start.ca>
"Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>
"Bob"
>After reading all the advice from folks who didn't
read my voluminous
>essay very closely, but excel at the conclusion
high-jump, I think
what
>I'm gonna do is take a can of gasoline and pour
it out on the grass
to
>spell "DO-GOODERS GO HOME" in giant block
letters of poisoned grass.
HEY!! Some so called 'do-gooders' are actually not out
to specifically
do-good per se, but, are simply a rare instance of genuine,
intelligent, common sense, commenting on severe dumb-assery,
such AS
AN ENTIRE HEMISPHERE GROWING MILLIONS OF FUCKING ACRES
OF USELESS
GRASS. S'all.
I mean...come on. It's like being priviledged to go
shopping at the
grocery store of the gods, but no one ever buys anything
but no name
vanilla ice cream, despite the presence of, well, you
name it. FROP,
hemp, peas, snowpeas, massgraves, maggots, roses, gravity
wells, it
can all be had! But noooo, they just have to have grass.
Well aren't
you the plucky one sir.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>
Yew kids jes better stay outta my yard or I mone call
the sherriff on
yeh.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "paco" <pchalmers@(deathtospam)ody.ca>
I dream of owning a golf green for a front yard. I'd
shoot the little
fuckers if they even thought of setting one foot on
it.This way one could
get the neighbourhood kids crossing the street instead
of "Walking in front
of that crazy old man's house." Almost as fun as
a ride in a X-Ship. But
not quite as fun as masturbating.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: bobdiddley@aol.com (3-D Bob)
>We do yard work on a need-to-mow basis, except around
X-Day, when
>everything around the house goes all to hell completely.
I have about 4 acres of lawn, expanding each time I
get out the machine.
Luckily, with our thin sandy soil, I can get by with
mowing it once or twice a
season - but the more I mow it, the more the grass takes
over, and the part
around the house needs mowing more often.
>I have not even HEARD what Pater Nostril recorded
off the board during
>the Acid Corpses, Little Fyodor and The Amino Acids.
I also have about
>4 hours of sound to transfer from the borrowed DV
video cam, which
>usually turns out to be our best audio source.
>
I haven't heard any post-X mention of Man, Inc. Did
he not make it? Got
ruptured along the way? The advance hype was intriguing.
The real killer for me
was missing Lil Fyodor for the second time - someday,
our paths will cross.
=========================================================
"Whatever you think, it's more than that."
- The Incredible String Band
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>
No, dang durn it, MAN got too many PAYING jobs around
the same time
and near his home base in Detroit. Not only did I want
the SubGenii to
see him, but I myself wanted to see the other person
again that's
always with Man --the Woman.
Thanks to RoboDummy I have a nice collection MAN videos, though.
Little Fyodor and Babushka however were a last-minute
surprise that
made up for the tragic Fall of Man. I have just been
prepping the
soundboard recordings of Fyodor that Pater Nostril made...
they'll be
on a.b.s. tonight or tomorrow.
We also got GOTE -- another one-man bass-band! But a
mute,
non-hollering one. I sneaked a peak at his feet and
GOTE really did
have hooves instead of feet, just like the girls said.
He wore a long
cloak with a hood so no one saw his face.
Wait'll you hear ACID CORPS (pronounced 'Acid Corpse').
That's The
Swinging Love Corpses mixed with The Amino Acids, with
guest yellings
or playings by Rev. Lee Burls, Rev. Carter LeBlanc,
Rev. Fudpucker and
yours truly. I've been editing those soundboard recordings
too. No
doubt the recordings off the video camera will sound
completely
different from the board recording. That way I'll be
able to use the
good parts TWICE and nobody will be the wiser!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com>
Cardinal Vertigo wrote:
> fenian wrote:
> > To dump thousands of tonnes of useless lawn
mower emissions!
>
> Oh bullshit. You probably dump less greenhouse
gases and particulate
> emissions in an entire year of mowing than you
do in three trips to Safeway.
Depends on how far it is to Safeway.
http://www.mindfully.org/Air/Lawn-Mower-Pollution.htm
"STOCKHOLM, Sweden -- The air pollution from
cutting grass for an hour
with a gasoline powered lawn mower is about the same
as that from a 100
mile automobile ride, according to a new study from
Sweden. The report,
which the authors say is the first to compare lawn mower
pollution with
auto mileage, recommends using catalytic converters
on mowers. "
***
" One old gas powered lawn mower running for an
hour emits as much
pollution as driving 650 miles in a 1992 model automobile"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Cardinal Vertigo <vertigo@alexandria.cc>
I sit corrected, on my skinny little ass. Use an unpowered
mower or an
electric if you can bring yourself to be concerned.
--
"The legitimate powers of government extend to
such acts only as are
injurious to others. But it does me no injury for my
neighbor to say
there are twenty gods or no God. It neither picks my
pocket nor
breaks my leg."
- Thomas Jefferson
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com>
Cardinal Vertigo wrote:
>
> I mowed many a lawn in my youth, so I consider
myself fairly expert on
> the subject.
>
> Stang's probably one of those guys who just has
a push mower and likes
> to go months without mowing, finally breaking down
only when it looks
> like one of those prairie reclamation projects
that midwestern state
> conservation departments are always running.
I consider you an expert on using the word "probably"
as an excuse to
just make up crazy things. You probably have a rhinoceros
head growing
out of the middle of your back.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Cardinal Vertigo <vertigo@alexandria.cc>
Show me a man who defaults to absolutes, and I'll show you a fool.
--
"Dreaming of the person you want to be is wasting
the person you
already are."
- Kurt Cobain
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "nu-monet v7.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>
Cardinal Vertigo wrote:
>
> "Dreaming of the person you want to be is
> wasting the person you already are."
> - Kurt Cobain
"Oh, dear god! I've blown off half of my head
and yet I'm still alive!! I'm not dead and I
can't move and my god it hurts!!! Courtney,
is that you? Can you tell I'm still alive?
I need help! Help me! What? What are you
doing with that fork? Oh, dear lord....
...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
- Kurt Cobain, EC Comics version
--
Rev. nu-monet
Founder and High Priest
Church of Kali, U.S.A. (Reformed)
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Joe Cosby <http://joecosby.com/code/mail.pl>
bwaha
--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.com/
"Now, now my good man. It's no time to make enemies"
-Voltaire, on his deathbed, in response to a priest
asking him to renounce Satan.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>
nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com> wrote:
> Cardinal Vertigo wrote:
> >
> > I mowed many a lawn in my youth, so I consider
myself fairly expert on
> > the subject.
> >
> > Stang's probably one of those guys who just
has a push mower and likes
> > to go months without mowing, finally breaking
down only when it looks
> > like one of those prairie reclamation projects
that midwestern state
> > conservation departments are always running.
>
> I consider you an expert on using the word "probably"
as an excuse to
> just make up crazy things. You probably have a
rhinoceros head growing
> out of the middle of your back.
He's right except for the push-mower thing. You can't
mow these fields
with a push-mower when it gets that long. I use a fine
fire-emgine red
Scots "DEVASTATOR" model with a diesel engine
-- and I use it WITHOUT
"PROTECTION," to boot.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Artemia Salina <y2k@sheayright.com>
Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
> I use a fine fire-emgine red
> Scots "DEVASTATOR" model with a diesel
engine -- and I use it WITHOUT
> "PROTECTION," to boot.
Hey, you can run that thing on used vegetable oil and
make your yard
smell like fish-n-chips:
http://journeytoforever.org/biodiesel_svo.html
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Cardinal Vertigo <vertigo@alexandria.cc>
Artemia Salina wrote:
Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
>
>>I use a fine fire-emgine red
>>Scots "DEVASTATOR" model with a diesel
engine -- and I use it WITHOUT
>>"PROTECTION," to boot.
>
> Hey, you can run that thing on used vegetable oil
and make your yard
> smell like fish-n-chips:
>
> http://journeytoforever.org/biodiesel_svo.html
Riiiight... because those don't pollute at ALL...
--
"The best argument against democracy is a five-minute
talk with the
average voter."
- Winston Churchill
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com>
Leonard The Committed wrote:
>
> > Here's another handy Nenslo homemaker's tip
- if you don't have the
> > wherewithal to maintain a compost heap, just
LEAVE THE BAG OFF THE
> > MOWER. All the grass corpses return to the
earth, and you won't believe
> > how much less work you have to do. What are
you, crazy? You think
> > you're going to get more weeds than you already
have? And if so, who
> > cares? Better yet, get rid of your lawn entirely.
It is TOTALLY
> > USELESS. Or as my neighborlady says, "Grass
is garbage."
>
> I agree with this post!
>
> Let me know if you are looking for a cheap and
easy lawn alternative, I
> know of a shitpot of 'em.
My alternative wasn't easy but it's cheap. Vegetable garden.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>
nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com> wrote:
> My alternative wasn't easy but it's cheap. Vegetable garden.
We tried that the first year we had this house, using
the previous
owner's garden area -- but indeed it wasn't EASY! Lucky
for us, our
NICE NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR has a monstro vegetable garden
and a bunch of
fruit and nut trees -- BUT NO TIME TO HARVEST THE STUFF!!
So Wei does
the plucking and picking for the neighbor and us. More
tomatoes and
lettuce and stuff than the two families can keep up
with. (Note - the
neighbor is a main reason we learned of and bought the
house.)
This guy had about 15 varieties of tomatoes last year,
including some
varieties weird enough looking to be Star Trek extras
in crowd scenes.
The "Zebra" ones with purple, red, green and
yellow STRIPES had to beat
all.
Original file name: X-Day for My Yard.txt - converted on Saturday, 25 September 2004, 02:05
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