From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>
Date: Thu, Jul 8, 2004
THE 2004 BOBBIE AWARDS
This year, all recipients received (or will when I get
their addresses
figured out) a printed document, suitable for framing,
with their
Category and Name hand-lettered by Princess Wei "R."
Doe, and signed by
Yours Truly.
Most of those in attendance also received a Blue Ribbon
bearing shiny
writing with phrases like "I Can Dress Myself"
and "Best Little
Helper", provided by Dr. Dark and Her Majesty HellNo.
Five Grand Bobbie Winners were granted The Bobbie trophy,
which are
very impressive custom-made artworks created by Her
Majesty HellNo
(photo of Modemac with his on alt.binaries.slack).
* * *
Most Insistent Enabler: Dr. G. Gordon Gordon
Sexiest: Little Fyodor
Time and Rhythm Control: Senator Thompson Speck (Amino Acids)
SubSITE Chassis Detailing: St. Bucky
Most Conspicuous Absence: Banjo Bob
Best New Ranter: Rev. Alex Thompson
Best New Preacher: Rev. Carter LeBlanc
Cream of the Crack ROAD SEALANT SALES MANAGER OF THE
YEAR Award: Rev.
Christopher Lee
Sacred Garter of the Sodality of the White Glove of Connie: IMBJR
Most Exploited for Commercial Purposes: Heart Ignition
Best Recent Eruction of Dobbsheadism: Espira
Best Taste in Tastelessness: DJ Shaver
Best Invokers of Unseen Titanic Forces: The Amino Acids
Best Back-Up Documenteur: Rev. Steve Scynic
Best Knockers, Most Missed: Rev. Susie the Floozy
Most Delicate: Rev. Orton Nenslo
Chaos Coordinator and Special Nepotism Awatd: Rev. Nickie Deathchick
Bulldada Preservationist Society - Epopt 3rd Degree: Dr. Dark
Best Award Award: Her Highness HellNo
Least Killfiled (by SubGeniuses): Rev. Joe Cosby
Unmasker of False Prophets: Rev. Blackout
Most Fascistic Nazi of an Evil Empire, and MOST VALUED
SUBGENIUS: Rev.
Magdalen
The Unremembered Award Category Award: Rev. Artemia Salina
Highest Bribe/ Best Sustainers of Life: Pastor and Joyce Pressure*
LongDurPerSav, Hour of Slack: St. David Bachner
Best New Radio Doktor: Dr. Sinister, Radio Synaesthesia
Everything: Pater Nostril*
Worst Role Model: Dr. Philo Drummond
Best Role Model: Dok Frop
Sharer of Least Wanted Knowledge and Most Wanted Knowledge
Erasers:
Rev. Sifu
Keeper of Sifu: Rev. Diana
Most Brain-Scrambling String-Bending: Dr. Ray Hey
Best Stage Presence: TIE: Rev. Zorro / Col. Sphinx Drummond
Most Natural-Seeming: Rev. Lee Burls
Best New Doktor: Rev. Norel Pref
Best Head and Heads: Rev. Sinphaltimus Exmortis
Best Video Propaganda: Pope Lupus Yonderboy & Crew
Best Protesticle Songs: Lonesome Cowboy Dave
Best Good Cop: Rev. Barbra Alien
High Unpredictable Special Award: Rev. Televangela
Elevation Enhancement: Lord Ferg
Indispensibility (not to be consuded with sensibility): Rev. Modemac*
Most Edible Scale Model Escape Vessels: Rev. V and Rev. Enni
Treasurer of Numerological Anomalies: Governor Rocknar
Most Glamorous: Sister Decadence
Best Special Effects: The Volkerdings
Best Uploads and Late-Nite Viewing: Nu-Monet V. 5, Nu-Monet V. 6
Memorial Fondly Ironic "BEST PARTICIPATION"
Blue Ribbon: The Late Rev.
Steve Chekey
SPECIAL AWARD for EXISTING: The Barneys, Brushwood Folklore Center*
LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD, RENNAISANCE YETI: DR. HOWLAND OWL*
LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD, COLORED DOTS and NOISES:
MISTER
FERNANDINANDE LEMUR
* Were handed Bobbie Trophies at the Awards Ceremony.
I kept one Bobbie
Trophy for the SubMuseum.
The Bobbie Awards were administered this year primarily
by Princess Wei
and Rev. Ivan Stang, with Rev. Jesus Christ, Dr. Dark
and Her Majesty
HellNo.
--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath
of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
PRABOB
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Two Beans <twobeans@godhatesyou.com>
"Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com> wrote:
>THE 2004 BOBBIE AWARDS
You forgot one.
-2B
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>
Two Beans <twobeans@godhatesyou.com> wrote:
You're right! At the last minute we threw in Pope Phil
Monty,
"Greediest," since he kept wanting to run
up and grab all the awards
meant for the British a.b.s.-fux
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: The Bobbie Awards, 2004
Alright, I'll give you that. But you still forgot anopther one.
-2B
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>
You're right again!
The original list was on a handwritten sheet. As we
added names they
went on another handwritten sheet. That sheet disappeared
and so one
might say, "I didn't know sheet." Princess
Wei however recalls
lettering the following
OTHER AND EQUALLY IMPORTANT BOBBIE AWARDS:
Chief of SubGenius Architectural Works: Rev. Ed Strange
Most Innocent: Rev. Gwendolen
I think that's it. Oh yeah, maybe we might have thrown
in a couple of
token quickie awards just to keep the, you know, sensitive
but retarded
ones from feeling left out. Uh... oh yeah! I vaguely
recall a best
disco award for one of those innocuous, barely-noticeable
youngsters...
Rev. Three Peas or Doktor One-Nut or something like
that. You know how
it is, all the funny names and would-be superstars all
blur together...
OH YES! That was it! Rev. Two Beans! He did a whole
set of original
tekno compositing and reframing and mixing Saturday
night. In fact come
to think of it I remember being real impressed by its
Amsterdam-like
sound and the keen cigaret lighter built into his computer.
Oh yeah and
come to think of it I barely remember this part because
I was pretty
tired but didn't my wife stop at the stage and dance
for a long time to
that Two Beans music?, and now, damn it, it's all coming
back to me, I
was dancing to it too, while Howll waited patiently
for us to finish
and let him into the staff hot tub, and then we played
with that
inflatable flying saucer that someone brought, which
floated so eerily
if you gave it just the right spin, and Sister Decadence
was dancing
her ass off too. Okay, right, and I even filmed Two
Beans doing his
mix-O thing just as my batteries were dying. That's
right, *Two Beans*
got that *Best Something Tekno Dance Award.* Like I
said I lost the
list's page two and then forgot I lost it.
Now. Where was I.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: The Bobbie Awards, 2004
Forgot someone.
Um, yeah...
-2B
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>
Naw, seriously Two Beans, we enjoyed the heck out of
your ravey beats.
I even make tekno music myself every three or four months,
and I have a
small collection of the stuff, more hardcore than ambient,
so I can
tell how much more work you put into yours on account
of it keeps being
different instead of the same all the time.
On the video, the nightvision negates the strobe light
as well as some
of the flimsier clothing.
Speaking of forgetting, I ironically enough do distinctly
recall
telling everyone all day Thursday that the drugs would
cause me to
repeat my warnings about how the drugs would fuck up
your values and
memory, and certainly had already done so to mine, and
I apologized in
advance for telling them the exact same thing again
later, were that to
happen. I do remember it actually happening with Joyce
Presure and for
all I know it happened with everybody, over and over.
I'm like Dr.
Jekyll. I can't know when it'll happen next. When Princess
Wei arrived
with Dr. Howll, later, after a Howll-rrowing series
of vehicle
problems, everyone she ran into asked her what was wrong
with me, and
why was I warning everyone about the drugs.
So if I forget a detail here and there, such as for
instance your
entire existence and life, and even your auto breakdown
expertise, you
can't say I didn't warn you; I probably did so several
times. Proof
that my concerns were valid is the fact that I warned
you so many
times, yet neither of us actually remember any of my
warnings... my
warnings that I would forget things. I'm telling you,
it's the drugs,
man. We mustn't keep kidding ourselves about it. They
fuck up your
values. They mess up your mind so that it takes forty
years for you to
realize that they messed up your mind. And by that time,
it's already
too late! Which is such a sad realization that pretty
much all you can
do about it is to take more of the drugs that make you
forget that the
drugs made you forget so much. I'm just glad they work
so well. I'd go
fucking crazier if I remembered everything that just
happened.
Now. Where was I.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Two Beans <twobeans@godhatesyou.com>
*leans over in the chair, steepling fingers*
Now, tell me about your childhood.....
-2B
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Sister Decadence <decadence@nospam.subgenius.com>
Hey Two Beans...for the brief times I was there, I loved
yer rave
stuff. I loved the stuff you did at Exmortus' camp as
well and I liked
what HE played too! (Exmortus, are you listening?) It
was ALL
awesome....some danceable, some trancey, all good. On
Sunday night
when The Lunacy hit me and I danced behind all those
tents to the
grooves stark fucking naked in the moonlight. Fantastic.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Two Beans <twobeans@godhatesyou.com>
Hey, I was just glad I could share some of my musical
memes with
ya'll. As per usual on x-day, nothing planned out works
the way its
supposed to, and the spontaneous things mesh up perfectly.
I'm definatly bringing the beat again if I can make it next year.
-2B
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Cardinal Vertigo <vertigo@alexandria.cc>
If I'd known there'd be trance at Brushwood, I'd have
hitched freight
trains to get there. You fucking asshole.
--
"In every country and in every age, the priest
has been hostile to
liberty. He is always in alliance with the despot,
abetting his
abuses in return for protection to his own."
- Thomas Jefferson
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com>
"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
>
> Two Beans <twobeans@godhatesyou.com> wrote:
>
> > Forgot someone.
> >
> > Um, yeah...
> >
> Now. Where was I.
Most Forgotten:
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Joe Cosby <http://joecosby.com/code/mail.pl>
Feel free to use the marching chant I wrote for the
Alzheimer's Day
Parade:
WHAT DO WE WANT?
I DON'T REMEMBER!
WHEN DO WE WANT IT?
WHEN DO WE WANT WHAT?
- nenslo
--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.com/
With great power may come great responsibility, but
until it arrives, any
normal human being would be going, "Yaay! Great
Power! Wheeee!"
- Sebastian
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Heart Ignition" <XXcardiacflambe@comcast.XXnetXX>
I rather like the sound of being addressed as "Most
Exploited" or "His
Exploitedness"... I think last year I had the
"Shroud Of Legume", but I
still haven't figured out how to use it.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>
Heart Ignition <XXcardiacflambe@comcast.XXnetXX>
wrote:
> I rather like the sound of being addressed as "Most
Exploited" or "His
> Exploitedness"... I think last year I had
the "Shroud Of Legume", but I
> still haven't figured out how to use it.
Neither could he, that's why he was giving it away.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Heart Ignition" <XXcardiacflambe@comcast.XXnetXX>
So if I burnt it this winter to keep warm would y'all
hate me or what?
Actually I burnt it last winter to keep warm but that
pee smell and all the
women floating around on my porch made me put it out
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