From: "alliekatt" <pogmothon@myarse.com>
Date: Wed, Jul 7, 2004
So while most of you were sleeping off hangovers and
killing "Bob" at 7 AM
on Wednesday, and watching pagan soap operas erupt around
the hot tub, I was
in the last throes of pushing a petite Hibernian Mutant
from my nether
regions.
That's right guys, my daughter was born at 7:49 AM,
on Monday, July 5. I
have an X-DAY BABY! And she is GORGEOUS! I could have
made it happen at 7
AM, but it would have involved prolapsing my spleen
and spontaneously
generating a few black holes and singularities. Let
it just suffice to say
she was born 6:49 AM Dallas time.
And believe me, if the Saucers HAD arrived, They would
have delayed arrival
until I finished, just because the repulsion beam emanating
from my pussy
had about 12 Bidillion pounds of pressure behind it
in the attempt to get
Her out. As a matter of fact, it's probably the reason
why you're still
here. No offense, but when I personally am screaming
that I'm never getting
laid again, ain't NOBODY gonna meet any sex goddesses
in the immediate
vicinity...
At least it felt that way. Anyhow my wee Connieite
is named Heather Siobhán
(pron She-vaun) Warke. Pics on ABS to follow as soon
as I have the time to
send 'em.
So you're here one more year to keep 'froppin. Sue
me. You can blame me
for repelling the Saucers if Bush gets re-elected.
Reverend Alliekatt P. Pstensch McPogmóthón
WOO HOO! I DONE BREEDED!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Pressure" <steveg@~DamnManNoSpam~moreslack.com>
Wonderful to hear! Congratulations! Don't forget to
send in your $30 for a
new ordination.
Pressure
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "nu-monet v7.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>
alliekatt wrote:
>
> That's right guys, my daughter was born at 7:49
AM,
> on Monday, July 5. I have an X-DAY BABY! And
she
> is GORGEOUS!
Outstanding!
Now our cult has A CHOSEN ONE!
Which should have some interesting psychological
effects if you ever mention it to her.
--
Give me thank or kill me.
--nu-monet
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com>
alliekatt wrote:
> WOO HOO! I DONE BREEDED!
You have my sincerest condolences.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: mshotz@aol.commonkeypo (Rev. Richard Skull)
>alliekatt wrote:
>> WOO HOO! I DONE BREEDED!
>
>You have my sincerest condolences.
What? You mean your the father?
Geeze, that is bad news.
MSHOTZ: The Post Post Modern Man
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Modemac <modemac@modemac.com>
And at this year's "Bob"-tism at Brushwood,
Legume performed a baptism
on the youngest SubGenius yet - a young toddler, maybe
a year old.
You have a chance to beat his record!
Congratulations!
--
First Online Church of "Bob"
http://www.modemac.com/
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Sister Decadence <decadence@nospam.subgenius.com>
On Wed, 07 Jul 2004 21:18:01 GMT, Modemac <modemac@modemac.com>
wrote:
>And at this year's "Bob"-tism at Brushwood,
Legume performed a baptism
>on the youngest SubGenius yet - a young toddler,
maybe a year old.
>You have a chance to beat his record!
>
>Congratulations!
10 months old....Gwendolyn Dista. Uhm, I think that's
what Agent
Lloyd is calling her.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "HdMrs. Salacia the Overseer" <seventhsqueal@yahoo.com>
I'd say she's destined to be a sex goddess. Congratulations!
Can't wait to
see the pictures.
~Salacia
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com>
I can't wait to see the pictures of a half pound of
raw liver. But
there you go - people are weird.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "ghost" <ghost@ghost.net>
PRA'HEATHER
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: mshotz@aol.commonkeypo (Rev. Richard Skull)
We had a little Connite Yeti-Pup at X-Day, she was the
only item in this years
Flesh Auction. Magdeline outbid eveyone to enjoy the
pleasure of yeti-Puppy
sitting for an hour.
From teh looks on her face (as well as all the other
Connittes hanging around
the pup) Jesus will have to expect fruit from his loins
by next X-Day. Mags had
that "Can we get one too?" look in her eyes
as she held her rent-a-Yeti in her
arms.
On the plus side, the littlest Yeti was a shinning example
of Origanl Slack.
While other grwon Yeti dance and drank various liquids
and inhaled Frop, the
little Yeti happily sat on the ground eating rocks from
the floor of the
pavillian.
I think that next year, we all should eat rocks off
the ground to assure that
we are truly one with the X-Ists.
MSHOTZ: The Post Post Modern Man
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Sister Decadence <decadence@nospam.subgenius.com>
mshotz@aol.commonkeypo (Rev. Richard Skull) wrote:
>I think that next year, we all should eat rocks
off the ground to assure that
>we are truly one with the X-Ists.
Okay! You go first!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Shining Path of Least Resistance <shinpath@osb.att.ne.jp>
"alliekatt" <pogmothon@myarse.com> wrote:
>That's right guys, my daughter was born at 7:49
AM, on Monday, July 5. I
>have an X-DAY BABY! And she is GORGEOUS!
Congratulations. My Asian Subgenius whelp will be born
in December
in Shanghai. Mom wants it to be raised Taoist/Maoist
though, so a
Shaolin struggle for the child's slack is bound to ensue.
Where are
your fists?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: chaos_israel@antisocial.com (The Rev. Dr. Lt. Chaos Israel)
"alliekatt" <pogmothon@myarse.com> wrote
in message news:<oXYGc.36760$MT5.24738@nwrdny01.gnilink.net>...
> WOO HOO! I DONE BREEDED!
I'd say that qualifies as the end of the world.
That said, congratulations and tell your daughter I said, "Welcome to the nuthouse."
--
C.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Artemia Salina <y2k@sheayright.com>
On Wed, 07 Jul 2004 20:21:40 +0000, alliekatt wrote:
> WOO HOO! I DONE BREEDED!
Tell her I said, "WELCOME TO THE WORLD!! I AM YOUR
UNCLE AND MINISTER!!"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: polar bear <bear@pole.com>
"alliekatt" <pogmothon@myarse.com> wrote:
> WOO HOO! I DONE BREEDED!
It's a CUB!
pb
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "alliekatt" <pogmothon@myarse.com>
PS
I JUST woke up and fed her now. My Perfect Spawn has
just SLEPT THROUGH THE
NIGHT, her first night home.
Maybe this might be the last time THIS sort of thing
happens, but it sure
don't happen to humans.
I'm frightened.
alliekatt
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "HdMrs. Salacia the Overseer" <seventhsqueal@yahoo.com>
She's a Slacker! Awwwww!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com>
I forget what I did. Something. I think I rode my
bike some. Oh yeah,
went to the Rebuilding Center and looked at some lumber
for bookshelves
and bought a big plastic utility sink with faucet and
drain trap for
five dollars. It was kind of warm, too warm to be driving
a car but it
had to be done. I know what I did yesterday though.
There's this plum
tree in front of a vacant house about five blocks from
here and I asked
around at the neighbors and we agreed there is nobody
around to object
so I picked three bags of these nice little one inch
pinkish plums, and
cut and pitted about half of them and today made a batch
of jam that is
really delicious and tangy. Four pint jars and one
ten ounce. So along
with the strawberry and raspberry I already made this
year, I will be
all set when I do a batch of blackberry. I think I
must have done other
things too, like eat and like that. I forget. Oh well.
At least I
didn't have to sit in hot water with fat chicks. Or
skinny ones which
is just as bad. Or hear bad ranters, which is the worst.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: asscoassc@aol.com (AssCo Assc)
<< . . . bought a big plastic utility sink with
faucet and drain trap for
five dollars. >>
Yeah, during the awards Stang did mention that you were
fixing something or
other in your kitchen.
You could have been participating in the mass raccoon sacrifice.
<< . . . made a batch of jam that is
really delicious and tangy. >>
With a name like "Nenslo's" it's got to be good.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Artemia Salina <y2k@sheayright.com>
nenslo wrote:
> I forget what I did.
What did *I* do on X-Day? I'm glad you asked.
I got a printer, the first decent one I've
ever owned, and set it up.
Now I can print out your posts and BURN
them, rather than just IMAGINING myself
printing them out and burning them.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: polar bear <bear@pole.com>
nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com> wrote:
> I forget what I did. Something. I think I rode
my bike some. Oh yeah,
> went to the Rebuilding Center and looked at some
lumber for bookshelves
> and bought a big plastic utility sink with faucet
and drain trap for
> five dollars. It was kind of warm, too warm to
be driving a car but it
> had to be done. I know what I did yesterday though.
There's this plum
> tree in front of a vacant house about five blocks
from here and I asked
> around at the neighbors and we agreed there is
nobody around to object
> so I picked three bags of these nice little one
inch pinkish plums, and
> cut and pitted about half of them and today made
a batch of jam that is
> really delicious and tangy. Four pint jars and
one ten ounce. So along
> with the strawberry and raspberry I already made
this year, I will be
> all set when I do a batch of blackberry. I think
I must have done other
> things too, like eat and like that. I forget.
Oh well. At least I
> didn't have to sit in hot water with fat chicks.
Or skinny ones which
> is just as bad. Or hear bad ranters, which is
the worst.
I celebrated X-day on the 4th. Naked women of sublime
proportion were
everywhere in abundance. Our hot tub was the Pacific
Ocean which we
share with three seals, a blue heron and myriad smelt.
Some seagulls
and monarch butterflies made a guest appearance, and
no one ranted 'cos
we were too busy slacking off!
Oh, and I ate a tofu dog (eech). The only dark moment.
Hrumph that away, Eeyore.
pb
----------------------------------------------------------------------
MY X-Day report
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>
alliekatt <pogmothon@myarse.com> wrote:
> So while most of you were sleeping off hangovers
and killing "Bob" at 7 AM
> on Wednesday, and watching pagan soap operas erupt
around the hot tub, I was
> in the last throes of pushing a petite Hibernian
Mutant from my nether
> regions.
>
> That's right guys, my daughter was born at 7:49
AM, on Monday, July 5. I
> have an X-DAY BABY! And she is GORGEOUS! I could
have made it happen at 7
> AM, but it would have involved prolapsing my spleen
and spontaneously
> generating a few black holes and singularities.
Let it just suffice to say
> she was born 6:49 AM Dallas time.
>
> And believe me, if the Saucers HAD arrived, They
would have delayed arrival
> until I finished, just because the repulsion beam
emanating from my pussy
> had about 12 Bidillion pounds of pressure behind
it in the attempt to get
> Her out. As a matter of fact, it's probably the
reason why you're still
> here. No offense, but when I personally am screaming
that I'm never getting
> laid again, ain't NOBODY gonna meet any sex goddesses
in the immediate
> vicinity...
>
> At least it felt that way. Anyhow my wee Connieite
is named Heather Siobhán
> (pron She-vaun) Warke. Pics on ABS to follow as
soon as I have the time to
> send 'em.
>
> So you're here one more year to keep 'froppin.
Sue me. You can blame me
> for repelling the Saucers if Bush gets re-elected.
>
> Reverend Alliekatt P. Pstensch McPogmóthón
>
> WOO HOO! I DONE BREEDED!
This is the best X-Day Report EVER!!!!
Bobbie Awards Addendi:
First Yetinsyn Connieite Savioress Born on Xistnessmas
Day: Heather
Siobhán Warke
Best Reason to Stay Home for X-Day: Rev. Alliekatt
--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath
of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
PRABOB
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "alliekatt" <pogmothon@myarse.com>
I love y'all.
Y'all kick ass.
alliekatt
Original file name: MY X-Day report - Alliekat.txt - converted on Saturday, 25 September 2004, 02:05
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