Subject: Diddley's reprieve

From: bobdiddley@aol.com (3-D Bob)
Date: Fri, Jul 9, 2004

Well sir, it seems that to kill off a Diddley is nearly as difficult as killing
"Bob", and not as slack-inducing. I arose before 7am no problem - July 5th
being one of the few days in the year that I do get up that early. I set fire
to the burn pile I'd amassed, and beat the drum quietly, as PriMate was
sleeping. I didn't bother putting on any clothes the whole day - I just watched
the fire, and pondered how I'd gotten so out of sorts with myself.

I'd tried to 'organize' the Denial-Awareness Festival along the guidelines of
X-Day, but without telling the local populace how that works. Y'see, I was
expecting people to hop in there, and take a part of the make-it-happen duties,
(is that too much to ask?) but I and my mate were the only porks around who had
ever been to a Devival or to X-Day. I ended up tired as hell and broke - for
the money I spent on advertizing, and the number of people who showed up, I
could've sent a taxi around to pick them up. I ended up running the PA for the
whole show, and then there was nobody to tweak it when I went onstage.

(I had a whole clever write-up thing planned, but I'm getting bored with
myself, so I'll attempt to cut to the chase)

It wasn't Diddley's fault, and the new name I thought up was already taken, so
I just decided to stay Diddley, and get back to making fun of old pooperoos
such as myself. I've decided to drop the lawsuit against Ellis McDaniel, since
he's been using part of my name for about forty years before I thought of it,
and I just found out the old geezer still does 200 gigs a year, BECAUSE HE'S
BROKE!

D-Day was good for me; it sounds as if X-Day 7 was a good one for those who
were there - I wish I could have done what I did AND have been there to meet
Joe Cosby in person - one of the more consistently intriguing alt.slackers. Lil
Fyodor and Babuschka only show up when I don't - pity, that. Ditto for Modemac,
and several others. We'll meat again, on some saucer or other.

Thanks to (?) who already put up lots of pics, and to all who were there to
photograph and to be photographed, and to all who posted their XD7 reviews.
Thanks to those who didn't go, and nattered away about this'n'that on alt.slack
- esp. those who altered their names. Thanks to Alliekatt and Zosodada, for
private words of encouragement.

Mostly, thanks so much to my one true PriMate, without whom I surely would have
faded away long ago.

=========================================================
"The purpose of life is to Feel Real Good." - Timothy Leary

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: urpansoph@aol.com (Ur Pansoph)

<< . . . the number of people who showed up, I
could've sent a taxi around to pick them up. >>

Wow. . . that's a nice hall, too.

<< I've decided to drop the lawsuit against
Ellis McDaniel, since he's been using part of
my name for about forty years before I thought of it,
and I just found out the old geezer still does 200
gigs a year, BECAUSE HE'S BROKE! >>

I guess he bought too many dull diamond rings and
blind detectives. The last time I went to St. Catherines
I picked up some new CD of his -- released, manufactured and recorded in
Canada.
Is he Canadian? Good little live recording on a
smallish stage for $5CDN.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>

3-D Bob <bobdiddley@aol.com> wrote:
> Well sir, it seems that to kill off a Diddley is nearly as difficult as
> killing
> "Bob", and not as slack-inducing. I arose before 7am no problem - July 5th
> being one of the few days in the year that I do get up that early. I set fire
> to the burn pile I'd amassed, and beat the drum quietly, as PriMate was
> sleeping. I didn't bother putting on any clothes the whole day - I just
> watched
> the fire, and pondered how I'd gotten so out of sorts with myself.
>
> I'd tried to 'organize' the Denial-Awareness Festival along the guidelines of
> X-Day, but without telling the local populace how that works. Y'see, I was
> expecting people to hop in there, and take a part of the make-it-happen
> duties,
> (is that too much to ask?) but I and my mate were the only porks around who
> had
> ever been to a Devival or to X-Day. I ended up tired as hell and broke - for
> the money I spent on advertizing, and the number of people who showed up, I
> could've sent a taxi around to pick them up. I ended up running the PA for the
> whole show, and then there was nobody to tweak it when I went onstage.
>
> (I had a whole clever write-up thing planned, but I'm getting bored with
> myself, so I'll attempt to cut to the chase)

All you have to say is "CONVENTION HOST SYNDROME." How well I know the
feeling.

I woke up this morning with a clear thought in my noggin about why I've
been feeling so put-upon lately and wanting to just say "Fuck it."

Besides Convention Host Syndrome there's this other thing called "POST
PARTUM BLUES." Normally that refers to the let-down that often comes
after a mom finally has her first baby -- after awhile the magic flees
and some harsh realities set in. But I've also seen and felt it after
the birth of a book or a movie. The author, having busted ass for two
years, somehow subconsciously expects an instant reward as soon as the
thing is finished, and shown or published somewhere, but nothing really
changes. I've felt a touch of this before... I've finished four books
and a few other types of jobs that took a huge investment of time.
Luckily I wasn't really expecting too much and the very gradual
trickling-in of the rewards was understood.

But I just finished TWO films, or rather, a collection of animations
made to other SubGeniuses' music, using lots of other Subs' art, and
the other a documentary about 6X-Day. I mean I finihed one one weekend
and then I finished the other one the next weekend. I made box labels
for them the day before I left for 7-X-Day and they were uploading to
monter WHILE I was at Brushwood.

Then on top of that it was after all 7X-Day and although Jesus,
Magdalen, and Nickie really do more of the organizational work,
ultimately mine is the neck that's most on the line, and some
smattering of Convention Host Syndrome is impossible to avoid no matter
how I try to prepare.

So DON'T FEEL ALONE, bro. When I threw the First World SubCon in 1981
at a friend's loft in Dallas, and lost $1500 (in today's terms, that
would be about $15,000), and had to spend the coolest part of the event
repairing the women's toilets, I felt probably much like you did. I
didn't feel I could charge entry to anyone who'd helped on the Con, and
since I felt that even showing UP was HELPING, I didn't really hardly
charge anybody. And there were only about 30 people anyway (albeit one
from each corner of the globe, and only two or 3 from Dallas).

Traumatized, and in the doghouse with someone else, I didn't throw
another Devival myself for almost 20 years, not until Jesus put two and
two together and realized that with Brushwood being what it was, X-Day
Drills, in which nothing was promised besides the presence of other
SubGenii, COULDN'T LOSE TOO MUCH MONEY and probably wouldn't be too
strenuous for a few people to run. But we still would have lost money
in some years and had to close up, had not Grantors of Slack saved our
asses at the very last second with unexpected donations, most memorable
being Governor Rocknar's $1,000 in 1999 and Nu-Monet's huge load in
2000. And we still have nervous breakowns every year at X-Day because
that's simply what happens when your ass is on the line.

Then you stump around angrily for awhile and get over it. It just takes
while to regain your true and appropriate sense of Fucking THEM if THEY
can't take a joke. Or, as Puzzling Evidence once let slip out, "Let's
'frop up and get back to hating the Conspiracy instead of ourselves" --
which was actually a pretty hilarious statement in its context, but has
a perfectly good other, more grim meaning outside its original context.

> It wasn't Diddley's fault, and the new name I thought up was already taken, so
> I just decided to stay Diddley, and get back to making fun of old pooperoos
> such as myself. I've decided to drop the lawsuit against Ellis McDaniel, since
> he's been using part of my name for about forty years before I thought of it,
> and I just found out the old geezer still does 200 gigs a year, BECAUSE HE'S
> BROKE!
>
> D-Day was good for me; it sounds as if X-Day 7 was a good one for those who
> were there - I wish I could have done what I did AND have been there to meet
> Joe Cosby in person - one of the more consistently intriguing alt.slackers.
> Lil
> Fyodor and Babuschka only show up when I don't - pity, that. Ditto for
> Modemac,
> and several others. We'll meat again, on some saucer or other.
>
> Thanks to (?) who already put up lots of pics, and to all who were there to
> photograph and to be photographed, and to all who posted their XD7 reviews.
> Thanks to those who didn't go, and nattered away about this'n'that on
> alt.slack
> - esp. those who altered their names. Thanks to Alliekatt and Zosodada, for
> private words of encouragement.
>
> Mostly, thanks so much to my one true PriMate, without whom I surely would
> have
> faded away long ago.

Yes, I know what you mean about that, too!

I kinda figured you weren't gone for good. Sure was hoping anyway.
Good to see you calmed down and quit whacking yourself. I mean, you
know, as opposed to whacking yourself OFF, which is okay, or offing
yourself while whack, which is not okay.

Just thinking about it makes me want to whack off!

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
PRABOB

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
> All you have to say is "CONVENTION HOST SYNDROME." How well I know the
> feeling.

The simple solution to that is to avoid putting anything of yourself
into the event, and do everything you can to sabotage it. Which is why
they don't have devivals around here any more.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>

nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com> wrote:

> "Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
> > All you have to say is "CONVENTION HOST SYNDROME." How well I know the
> > feeling.

> The simple solution to that is to avoid putting anything of yourself
> into the event, and do everything you can to sabotage it. Which is why
> they don't have devivals around here any more.

And all you had to do was let that eager-beaver Rocky Horror Picture
Show pal of yours run the thing. So fondly do I remember standing
outside that little Portland theater, apologizing to people as they
left, trying to explain that SubGenius shows usually were sometimes
unpredictable but never anywhere near THIS bad. I'm so glad that was
before the Internet.

When, years later, after I was tricked into getting into a car with
that same smarmy guy, I SOON VOMITED.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com>

Yeah, that was so great. But the one perfect memory I have of that
night was while "manning" (and I do use that term loosely) the ticket
office just in case some dumbass still wanted in, while MIGHTY STANG was
onstage, and two young ladies asked me on their way out, if that was all
it was going to be, just these guys talking, and I proudly said, "Yep!
NO REFUNDS!" I am so glad we put NO REFUNDS on every single poster.
Best Worst Devival Ever.

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Original file name: Diddley's reprieve.txt - converted on Saturday, 25 September 2004, 02:05