Prescriptures Breakdown Part IV

From: beefjerkyisgood@hotmail.com (Paul Casino)
Date: Thu, Aug 5, 2004

3
I am Jehovah-One, the God of
Wrath, that One, who to make Man pull the
triggers of this thousand
opposable thumbs, caused the apes of the ground to
spill their seed on the dust.

Is this to say that it was JHVH-1 who provided the catalyst from man's
ascension from ape? What then of the spark that caused the SubGeneii
to eveolve from the yeti?

It is also worth note that JHVH-1 declares himself here to the The God
of Wrath, or perhaps one of many Gods of Wrath. It has been said that
much like the "God" of the Old Testament and the "God" of the New
Testament, there may be TWO SIDES of JHVH-1, a "God o' Wrath" and a
"God o' Big Hugs".

Finally, lest we assume that the language is being symbolic when it is
not, "spill their seed" does NOT mean "ejacualte". It literally means
that these apes had some seeds, perhaps in a hollowed out coconut
shell, and JHVH-1 came down and "playfully" knocked it out of thier
hands. Of course, they were masturbating as well, but they needed no
divine mandate to do THAT.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>

RIGHT! In the "seed as sperm" interpretation, it would seem as if
JHVH-1 is being a creationist-evolutionist, sort of -- at least saying
that He caused men to spring from apes. But, He IS in fact a known
LIAR. One thing we know without question is that humans were created
"MIRACULOUSLY" by the Yeti in a test tube in Mutantis in 80 million BC.
THERE WERE NO MONKEYS OR APES ON THE EARTH AT THAT TIME. The monkeys
and apes were DEVOLVED FROM THE HUMANS after JHVH-1 smote Mutantis --
over the course of MILIONS UPON MILLIONS OF YEARS OF DARWINISTIC
STRUGGLE. Eventually the Neanderthals and others evolved back UP, from
apes, MOSTLY ON THEIR OWN -- just in time for a pack of Rogue Humans
from the past to arrive in a stolen time machine, and initiate the
greatest mass extinction event since that Xist overshoot rubbed out the
dinosaurs (including the INTELLIGENT, CITY-BUILDING DINOSAURS that
appeared at the geological "last minute" before th Xists did.

The SubGenius did not so much evolve from the Yeti, as be sired by
horny perverted Yeti over the ages. Some of us have more Yeti than
others; some even have a little Neanderthal thrown in. But in the vast
majority of cases, any direct Yeti heritage lies hundreds or thousands
of years in the past. Most of us are pretty watered down.

Insomuch as JHVH-1 may have directly manipulated events and CAUSED the
YETI to make that terrible mistake of creating humans, and let some
escape, and Smote the rest into monkeys, then let them evolve BACK up
into humanoid creatures, who were then RAPED over the centuries by
escaped time-traveling humans from the Past, He is not exactly lying.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
PRABOB

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Original file name: Prescriptures Breakd#1ACFF7.txt - converted on Saturday, 25 September 2004, 02:05