Bobbies vs Old Farts was: Here we are, still on the Moon! <-- nenslo

From: Frere Jean Bleu <FrJBleu@ifrance.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Apr 7, 2004 2:49 AM

On 6 Apr 2004 07:53:23 -0700, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
(HellPopeHuey) wrote:

>nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com> wrote in message news:<40727741.C0F146C1@yahoox.com>...
>
>> I've heard ALL that stuff. You forget, I am an old old man who already
>> quit doing things most people haven't even started doing yet.
>
> And who wears a fresh lemon around his neck at all times to ward off
>"Bobbies" the same way certain elderly Lithuanians still wear garlic
>cloves in their pockets to ward off vampires. Plug it in, plug it in.
>This is in no way meant to cross-reference any recent "butt plug"
>threads, but you can take it that way if you like.

When does a Bobbie become an Subgenii of a higher degree? Is a Bobbie
considered a Subgenii or merely an apprentice? How does one "assume
the position" of initiation in this rarefied area of Usenet?

What can we Bobbies call you older and wiser SubG?

Old farts? (Derogatory and appropriate in this forum but a little too
general)
Eldergenii? (A little more respectful)
Sub-geriatrica (Way less respectful)
Roberts? (A more dignified and elder variation of Bob)
Sirs/ Masters? (Likely to appeal to subserviant Bobbies and staunch
S&M elders)
The Dark Ones? (Sinister and appropriate to certain types)
The Cranky Ones? (More in the spirit from what I've seen)
The Wizened Ones? (Adding a touch of mythos to the deal)

Just curious.

Must send that "Give me slack or kill me" postcard in but it's way too
purty. Best $US30 I ever spent.

Fr J B
Card carrying member since 2004

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Subject: Re: Bobbies vs Old Farts was: Here we are, still on the Moon! <-- nenslo
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>

>
> When does a Bobbie become an Subgenii of a higher degree?

One who asks that question CANNOT.**

> Is a Bobbie
> considered a Subgenii

"SubGenii" (pronounced "Sub-Jeen-I" or "Sub-Jeen-I-ee") is plural for
SubGenius -- as is the equally acceptable "SubGeniuses." I rotate them.

It is however acceptable to refer to SubGenii in general by cutesy
funny-sounding names like the Wellmanized "SugDeemies," "SubGleemies"
etc., which takes the curse off the tone of REVERENCE attached to the
plain word "SubGenius." Remember, in some places "SubGenius" is so
well known that it's considered "old" and no longer "cool," so even if
you're saying something nice about it you have to throw in some
disrespect. (Berkeley, or Madison, Wisconsin, for example.)

> or merely an apprentice? How does one "assume
> the position" of initiation in this rarefied area of Usenet?

You "assumed the position" with these questions.

>
> What can we Bobbies call you older and wiser SubG?

Some of the worst Bobbies are in their 50s and 60s, and some of the
wisest SubGenii are in their teens.

You can call ME "Rev. Stang."

I get REALLY REALLY MAD when somebody calls me "MISTER" Stang.

>
> Old farts? (Derogatory and appropriate in this forum but a little too
> general)
> Eldergenii? (A little more respectful)
> Sub-geriatrica (Way less respectful)
> Roberts? (A more dignified and elder variation of Bob)
> Sirs/ Masters? (Likely to appeal to subserviant Bobbies and staunch
> S&M elders)
> The Dark Ones? (Sinister and appropriate to certain types)
> The Cranky Ones? (More in the spirit from what I've seen)
> The Wizened Ones? (Adding a touch of mythos to the deal)
>

What I'm still trying to nail down is this "Hierarchy" thing. Just a
simple list of who's "in" or "cool" and who isn't would be SO helpful
to me.

** Just kidding. You won't hear me calling specific people "Bobbies."
None have been THAT bad yet. I have been most TEMPTED to use the term
on people (of any age or "time with the Church") who collar me at
devivals or whatnot and then BLABBER WITHOUT PAUSE a bunch of stuff
that's supposed to be either funny or cosmic but is just incredibly
retarded and corny.

Hey, maybe that's where you got the "cranky" impression.

The "Hierarchy" of the Church to me is those arteests, ranters, music
makers, writers, jugglers etc. whose works continue to resonate down
through the ages, somehow, rather than vanishing into Google to be
forgotten -- and those whose physical efforts PRESERVE and/or said
works. My list of such SubGenii is roughly 250 names in my special
"address book." Many of them I have never even met personally, or
talked to on the phone. I don't absolutely KNOW for SURE, for instance,
if LeMur, say, or Blackout, or Joe Cosby, are male or female.

But to some dumbass "The Hierarchy" might mean simply the officers of
The SubGenius Foundation (Me, Wei, Dr. Philo Drummond, Magdalen and
Jesus) -- and, in practice, our former part-time employee, Rev. Nickie
Deathchick. St. David Bachner can safely be included in that number
because he's the ONLY other person entrusted with the keys to SubSITE.

I remember when some talentless fruit was whining endlessly about how
"The Hierarchy" was "locked up" and there was "no new blood" because
"the old farts didn't allow it" and were a "conformity of
nonconformists." The continuous appearance of new superstar preachers
(Carter LeBlanc, Priestess Pisces, Rev. Alex etc.) and the "moving on"
of older ones (Pope Meyer for instance) was apparently lost on this
jealous, talentless fuck. (Dr. Legume had to point out that while he's
considered "Hierarchy" by many, he's a "new guy" to me.) Likewise, as
an Atom Funway transcends "Bob" and moves to another dimension, there
is an Espira to take his place... etc. etc. Hour of Slack is half Norel
Pref these days, and a year ago no SubGenii had heard of him.

What any actual "Bobbies" most hate is that inclusion in the
"Hierarchy", such as it is, is actually is based on MERIT. Which means
they ARE locked out, because the only thing they can do is fucking
whine all day.

Which is ALL I'M DOING!!! CRANKILY WHINING ABOUT THE WHINERS! How'd you
get me started on this, god damn it?!?$#%$#^&$& It's ten o'clock in
the fucking morning and I have Slork to do!

But I like that term, "Roberts." You may henceforth refer to me as
"Rev. Ivan Rasputin-Romanov Stankovich, High Robert of the Church of
the SubGenius, True Heir to the Throne of All the Russias."

"The Wizened Ones" doesn't work at all. How would you call Hellpope
Huey, who is 8 feet tall and ANTI-WIZENED, one of "The Wizened Ones"?

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 204206, Austin, TX 78720-4206
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com
For SubGenius Biz & Orders: call toll free to 1-888-669-2323
or email: jesus@subgenius.com
PRABOB

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Bobbies vs Old Farts was: Here we are, still on the Moon! <-- nenslo
From: "Rev. ErRoR" <error@priest.SPAMcom>

In article <070420041036292680%stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>, Rev. Ivan
Stang <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com> wrote:

> What I'm still trying to nail down is this "Hierarchy" thing. Just a
> simple list of who's "in" or "cool" and who isn't would be SO helpful
> to me.
>
DANGER LONG POST SOME ENDURANCE REQUIRED.....
(well more than I've got anyway)

To me the "Hierachy" (and I always use the quotes) are those who were
closest to the blast crater.
Mostly people credited in the first 2 books and featured in Arise.
Those who were nearest at the start and have contributed the most for
the longest.
(pity the fools)

I do understand a certain amount of "Bobbie" behaviour.
I felt a certain trepidation about "Becoming" a subgenius as basically
the whole thing was someone else's idea. The church has been around
long enough that a certain amount of dust HAS settled (as it should)
and Lurking the newsgroups and mining subsite over time I learnt there
were "regulars" and many of their names cropped up elsewhere in Sub G
stuff fron longago.
What if "They" don't accept me ?
What if I don't "Fit in" ?
Then it dawned on me.
The whole Church isn't just someone elses idea. It's EVERYONE elses
idea including mine so FUCK EM IF THEY DON'T LIKE IT
THE'YLL CHASE ME OUTTA TOWN SOON ENOUGH and I'll go off and be a
nubgenius or a flubgenius or a fucking lampost worshipper or whatever.

To me a Bobbie is someone who needs to ask if it's OK to join in.
JUST FUCKING JOIN IN THEN YOU WON'T NEED TO ASK.
One of us will hate you. One of us will love you. So what ? It's not a
knitting circle.

SO
What is The Church of the Subgenius ?
for ME it's a great excuse to meet anyone who considers themselves a
Subgenius. In other words anyone who PAYS to JOIN a freak show in order
to prance around and WHAT PRANCING !
AND
It's bono fido (sic) enough to really upset the pompous and self
righteous (Mostly Governments, Fundamental Christians etc.) and get
HUGE LAUGHS while doing it. I especially enjoy the simple pleasure of
showing a picture of a grinning moron to "Normals" and saying "Yes
that's my saviour. Thats "Bob" " If they laugh then they weren't as
"Normal" as I thought they were. If they recoil in horror then they
obviously have some sort of hang up about it so...
FUCK EM IF THEY CAN'T ETC. ETC.
AND
On "Finding" "Bob" for the first time I realised with a groan "Oh No by
some freakish accident of birth I am actually one of these people. Help
me please !"

I think the danger of the church getting "Old" comes from the incestous
nature of the internet. When I got found by "Bob" it was via the
internet. alt.slack and especially alt.binaries.slack ARE fun but the
greatest joy comes from taking the message to the UNSAVED instead of
preaching to the choir (slackful choir it may be). I know of
illustrious SUB G's who don't even have COMPUTERS.
I have been to very few "Events" (we are trying to get away from the
term "Devival" over here as many people don't know what a "Revival" is
to begin with due to too many quiet Parish Vicars sipping cups of tea)
but the most memorable moments are mainly those undocumented
slacknesses that arise in the moment never to be seen again.
And some of the people on "Bob's" guest list HAVE TO BE SEEN TO BE
BELIEVED !!!!

SO GET OUT THERE PEOPLE AND UPSET SOME PEOPLE IT'S ONE HUGE FUCK ABOUT
!!!
YOU THINK STANG AND PHILO AND JANOR (or whoever it was, I wasn't there)
WHEN DROPPING THAT ACID AND GOOFING OFF TO 'BOB' THOUGHT THIS WOULD GO
MUCH FURTHER THAN THE END OF THE GARDEN ?
LET ALONE HAVE PEOPLE SEND EM A LITTLE MONEY FOR IT ?
(how DID they manage that one ?)
AND LOOK AS US NOW
(well don't look at ME I'm not the kind of person I'm.... Oh heck)
UNITED UNDER THE COMMON BANNER OF DISUNITY
Remember the "N" in CON stands for "NORMALCY"
STAND UP FOR YOUR RIGHTS TO BE AN UNSUPRESSED FREAK
(or even a supressed one that can be fun too)
AND GET OUT THERE AND KICK SOME SHINY ASS !!!
THEY NEED SOMETHING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT
FOR THESE ARE TRULY THE END TIMES

PRABERT!

can someone push my wheelchair closer to the window and light my pipe.
I feel unwell....
errr.

Founding member of The First Church of the Subgenius Knitting Circle

EXHALE

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Bobbies vs Old Farts was: Here we are, still on the Moon! <-- nenslo
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>

In article <070420041928586019%error@priest.SPAMcom>, Rev. ErRoR
<error@priest.SPAMcom> wrote:

> In article <070420041036292680%stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>, Rev. Ivan
> Stang <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com> wrote:
>
> > What I'm still trying to nail down is this "Hierarchy" thing. Just a
> > simple list of who's "in" or "cool" and who isn't would be SO helpful
> > to me.
> >
> DANGER LONG POST SOME ENDURANCE REQUIRED.....
> (well more than I've got anyway)
>

((GRATE RANT!))

> EXHALE

HERE! Have another HIT!!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Bobbies vs Old Farts was: Here we are, still on the Moon! <-- nenslo
From: "Rev. ErRoR" <error@priest.SPAMcom>

*Puffs Gently then sighs*
err.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Bobbies vs Old Farts was: Here we are, still on the Moon! <-- nenslo
From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com>

Much the way that Eskimos once put their elderly on an ice floe and
sent them out to sea to meet their Gods, Yeti ceremonially eat their
old so they can meet "Bob", who lives in my intestines.

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.com/
"Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power and magic to it."
- Goethe

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Bobbies vs Old Farts
From: nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Reply-To: x
Date: Thu, Apr 8, 2004 2:48 AM
Message-ID: <4074F5B7.A7B14D3F@yahoox.com>

Frere Jean Bleu wrote:
>
> When does a Bobbie become an Subgenii of a higher degree? Is a Bobbie
> considered a Subgenii or merely an apprentice? How does one "assume
> the position" of initiation in this rarefied area of Usenet?

A Bobbie does not become a SubGenius. You are either on the exploding
helicopter or you are off the exploding helicopter. Here's the one
recognition tip: The SubGenius MUST HAVE SLACK.

>
> What can we Bobbies call you older and wiser SubG?

The fact that you believe yourself to be a Bobbie indicates to me that
you very likely are not one. The true Bobbie shows itself by believing
itself to be better than it is. "There are those who pretend to take
themselves seriously, and those who pretend not to take themselves
seriously. Beware of the latter." - some guy once.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Bobbies vs Old Farts was: Here we are, still on the Moon! <-- nenslo
From: nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
>
>
> "The Wizened Ones" doesn't work at all. How would you call Hellpope
> Huey, who is 8 feet tall and ANTI-WIZENED, one of "The Wizened Ones"?
>

Well if you gave him a good poke he'd be nothing but a skeleton dragging
a big pink bag behind him.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Bobbies vs Old Farts
From: bobdiddley@aol.com (Bobdiddley)

Nenslo intoned:
>The fact that you believe yourself to be a Bobbie indicates to me that
>you very likely are not one. The true Bobbie shows itself by believing
>itself to be better than it is. "There are those who pretend to take
>themselves seriously, and those who pretend not to take themselves
>seriously. Beware of the latter." - some guy once.

A few guys in 9th grade math made this up to cope with the abstraction of it
all; a surd is a person who falsely thinks himself to be a surd.

======================================================
"Wake up, wake up, you fools!" he shouted in his sleep.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Bobbies vs Old Farts
From: screaming_dong@yahoo.com (Disaffected College Student)

http://mathworld.wolfram.com/QuadraticSurd.html

It links to Minkowski's Question Mark Function.
--

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Bobbies vs Old Farts
From: nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com>
>
One thing Rudy Rucker likes to write about is things which are true if
and only if they are false.

> "Wake up, wake up, you fools!" he shouted in his sleep.

Few people will ever realize how profound that statement is. Om sri
Bobdiddly nama.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Bobbies vs Old Farts
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>

> > Nenslo intoned:
> > >The fact that you believe yourself to be a Bobbie indicates to me that
> > >you very likely are not one. The true Bobbie shows itself by believing
> > >itself to be better than it is.

Speaking as one slightly famous for being The First Bobbie, if somebody
at X-Day or a devival, who WANTS to talk to me about something, decides
not to BOTHER me because I look too harried dealing with all the other
people already trying to talk to me, that's the ONE PERSON that I
really DO want to talk to. So go ahead and butt in and chances are I'll
be thankful.

> > A few guys in 9th grade math made this up to cope with the abstraction of it
> > all; a surd is a person who falsely thinks himself to be a surd.
> >
> One thing Rudy Rucker likes to write about is things which are true if
> and only if they are false.
>
> > "Wake up, wake up, you fools!" he shouted in his sleep.
>
> Few people will ever realize how profound that statement is. Om sri
> Bobdiddly nama.

Huh? Somebody say something? Was I asleep? Oh shit, sorry, what'd I
miss? Anything good?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Bobbies vs Old Farts
From: ridetheory <ridetheory@notmail.com>

"Yet what are all such gaieties to me
Whose thoughts are full of indices and surds?
x squared + 7x + 53
= 11/3"

-- Lewis Carroll

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Bobbies vs Old Farts
From: bobdiddley@aol.com (Bobdiddley)

ridetheory wrote:
>>> A few guys in 9th grade math made this up to cope with the abstraction of
>it
>>> all; a surd is a person who falsely thinks himself to be a surd.
>>>
>>
>> http://mathworld.wolfram.com/QuadraticSurd.html
>>

Yep, that's just what we were gettin' at, all those years ago...

======================================================
"Verily, shall They be fucked, if offered the Joke, and They take it not." -
Dobbs Goblin

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Original file name: Bobbies vs Old Farts was#14A7EC - converted on Saturday, 25 September 2004, 02:05