Yesterday's Shadows

by Rev. Sternodox

Once upon a time there was this one guy who invented this device that
made it easier to shove shit up one's own dick. He did this because
when he was little he used to watch "Lost In Space" just to see how big
Penny's tits were getting and one day when Penny tits were getting big
his cousin held him down while he was watching Penny's tits and shoved
shit up his dick and then jacked off a chihuahua while doing it. So he
patented the device and took it on the road to try to sell it so he
could make a lot of money and retire young and be able to devote more
time to his Sunday school class over to the Pentacostal Church. So he
pulls up in front of this other guy's house and gets out and rings the
doorbell. But when the guy opens the door the first guy notices that he
has a dick that's about four times larger than normal and it has a
little bit of shit dripping out of it. So the first guy says, "How did
you get that shit all in your dick?" And the second guy goes, "I bought
this device that makes it easy to put shit in your dick and it was only
$49.95." Well the first guy got real freaked out because he thought he
was the first to invent such a device and plus he was selling his for
$59.95 which was ten dollars more than the other guy paid for his and
there was so much shit in the other guy's dick that the first guy got
even more freaked out because of it because he didn't think his device
would be able to shove that much shit into a dick. So then the other
guy laughed and said, "I'm just kidding. I really don't have such a
device and it took me several hours to get all this shit in my dick and
I sure wish there was a real device that would do it easier." Well, the
first guy didn't need to be told twice. He suddenly took his device out
of the box and presented it to the other guy and said, "Here, sir, I
have just such a device and it's only $59.95." Well the other guy was
so happy he wrote that guy a check and took it in his house. After
several hours of happily stuffing shit up his dick with it, he decided
to attempt something really perverted that was against the law, which
was he tried to vomit in the device and stick that up his dick too. But
the device had a police warning built-in that the first guy didn't tell
him about and it went off and the police came and arrested him and
charged him with shoving vomit up his dick. But the law was vague on
the issue and the guy successfully argued that since he already had
lots of shit shoved up his dick, that he was actually shoving the vomit
into shit, technically speaking. Well, the judge accepted this line of
reasoning and let the guy off with a warning. But then the guy, without
warning, cut his dick off and began flogging the judge with it. He hit
the judge so hard with the shit and vomit filled dick that the judge
died instantly but since the judge had a piece of radioactive meteorite
in his pocket that landed in his yard last night, he turned into a
zombie and jumped into the jury part of the room and started in
buttfucking everybody in the jury. But his dick rotted in less than
32.45629 seconds and fell off and so he grabbed the guy's cut off dick
and started in buttfucking everybody with that. And almost all the jury
people died from shock and rectal blood loss except one girl who always
wanted to get buttfucked by a zombie wielding a shit-filled cut off
dick and so she only died of rectal blood loss. So the zombie/judge was
buttfucking everybody and shit flew everywhere and since it was mixed
with vomit too, the rest of the people in the courtroom were shocked
and it made all the papers around the world and gave this one kid the
idea to mix shit with vomit and jack off into it and then eat it and he
did and got sick and got an intestinal infection and died in horrible
agony.

The End

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: STERNO DEBATES CALIFORNIA GOVERNOR HOPEFULS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
From: "Dunter Powries" <redcap@fech.spedlins>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Fri, Aug 29, 2003 11:30 AM
Message-ID: <SkK3b.189$zL5.52@nwrdny02.gnilink.net>

Sternodox <sternodox@aristotle.net> wrote in message
news:290820030904153419%sternodox@aristotle.net...
> Yesterday's Shadows
>
> by Rev. Sternodox
>
> Once upon a time there was this one guy who invented this device that
> made it easier to shove shit up one's own dick. He did this because
> when he was little he used to watch "Lost In Space" just to see how big
> Penny's tits were getting and one day when Penny tits were getting big
> his cousin held him down while he was watching Penny's tits and shoved
> shit up his dick and then jacked off a chihuahua while doing it. So he
> patented the device and took it on the road to try to sell it so he
> could make a lot of money and retire young and be able to devote more
> time to his Sunday school class over to the Pentacostal Church. So he
> pulls up in front of this other guy's house and gets out and rings the
> doorbell. But when the guy opens the door the first guy notices that he
> has a dick that's about four times larger than normal and it has a
> little bit of shit dripping out of it. So the first guy says, "How did
> you get that shit all in your dick?" And the second guy goes, "I bought
> this device that makes it easy to put shit in your dick and it was only
> $49.95." Well the first guy got real freaked out because he thought he
> was the first to invent such a device and plus he was selling his for
> $59.95 which was ten dollars more than the other guy paid for his and
> there was so much shit in the other guy's dick that the first guy got
> even more freaked out because of it because he didn't think his device
> would be able to shove that much shit into a dick. So then the other
> guy laughed and said, "I'm just kidding. I really don't have such a
> device and it took me several hours to get all this shit in my dick and
> I sure wish there was a real device that would do it easier." Well, the
> first guy didn't need to be told twice. He suddenly took his device out
> of the box and presented it to the other guy and said, "Here, sir, I
> have just such a device and it's only $59.95." Well the other guy was
> so happy he wrote that guy a check and took it in his house. After
> several hours of happily stuffing shit up his dick with it, he decided
> to attempt something really perverted that was against the law, which
> was he tried to vomit in the device and stick that up his dick too. But
> the device had a police warning built-in that the first guy didn't tell
> him about and it went off and the police came and arrested him and
> charged him with shoving vomit up his dick. But the law was vague on
> the issue and the guy successfully argued that since he already had
> lots of shit shoved up his dick, that he was actually shoving the vomit
> into shit, technically speaking. Well, the judge accepted this line of
> reasoning and let the guy off with a warning. But then the guy, without
> warning, cut his dick off and began flogging the judge with it. He hit
> the judge so hard with the shit and vomit filled dick that the judge
> died instantly but since the judge had a piece of radioactive meteorite
> in his pocket that landed in his yard last night, he turned into a
> zombie and jumped into the jury part of the room and started in
> buttfucking everybody in the jury. But his dick rotted in less than
> 32.45629 seconds and fell off and so he grabbed the guy's cut off dick
> and started in buttfucking everybody with that. And almost all the jury
> people died from shock and rectal blood loss except one girl who always
> wanted to get buttfucked by a zombie wielding a shit-filled cut off
> dick and so she only died of rectal blood loss. So the zombie/judge was
> buttfucking everybody and shit flew everywhere and since it was mixed
> with vomit too, the rest of the people in the courtroom were shocked
> and it made all the papers around the world and gave this one kid the
> idea to mix shit with vomit and jack off into it and then eat it and he
> did and got sick and got an intestinal infection and died in horrible
> agony.
>
> The End
>

I thought it was too bad that you had to belabor the fact the difference
between $59.95 and $49.95 was $10.00, like we're idiots or something and
couldn't figure it out for ourselves. It ruined the story for me. In the
future try to give your audience more credit.

Thanks.

Dunty Porteous,
Human Sacrifice

--
"Objection is when I say: this doesn't suit me. Resistance is when I make
sure that what doesn't suit me never happens again."
-Ulrike Meinhof

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: STERNO DEBATES CALIFORNIA GOVERNOR HOPEFULS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
From: subspecies23@aol.comyourmom (SubSpecies23)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Fri, Aug 29, 2003 4:13 PM
Message-ID: <20030829161315.07673.00000211@mb-m17.aol.com>

<< I thought it was too bad that you had to belabor the fact the difference
between $59.95 and $49.95 was $10.00, like we're idiots or something and
couldn't figure it out for ourselves. It ruined the story for me. In the
future try to give your audience more credit.
>>

I hate it when the customers where I work hand me their money, and feel that
they have to tell me how much they gave me, like I can't count it myself.
They're like "That's $10.25," and I'm like "yeah, I can count."

----------------
EVERY SQUARE FUCKDORK WITH A PIPE... *IS NOT "BOB"* -- Ivan Stang

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: STERNO DEBATES CALIFORNIA GOVERNOR HOPEFULS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
From: "Rev. Jihad Frenzy" <cht@gis.net>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Fri, Aug 29, 2003 12:32 PM
Message-ID: <cht-FFBEC4.12324329082003@news.newsguy.com>

"Ward, I'm worried about The Sternodox!"

In article <290820030904153419%sternodox@aristotle.net>,
Sternodox <sternodox@aristotle.net> wrote:

> Yesterday's Shadows
>
> by Rev. Sternodox
>
> Once upon a time there was this one guy who invented this device that
> made it easier to shove shit up one's own dick. He did this because
> when he was little he used to watch "Lost In Space" just to see how big
> Penny's tits were getting and one day when Penny tits were getting big
> his cousin held him down while he was watching Penny's tits and shoved
> shit up his dick and then jacked off a chihuahua while doing it. So he
> patented the device and took it on the road to try to sell it so he
> could make a lot of money and retire young and be able to devote more
> time to his Sunday school class over to the Pentacostal Church. So he
> pulls up in front of this other guy's house and gets out and rings the
> doorbell. But when the guy opens the door the first guy notices that he
> has a dick that's about four times larger than normal and it has a
> little bit of shit dripping out of it. So the first guy says, "How did
> you get that shit all in your dick?" And the second guy goes, "I bought
> this device that makes it easy to put shit in your dick and it was only
> $49.95." Well the first guy got real freaked out because he thought he
> was the first to invent such a device and plus he was selling his for
> $59.95 which was ten dollars more than the other guy paid for his and
> there was so much shit in the other guy's dick that the first guy got
> even more freaked out because of it because he didn't think his device
> would be able to shove that much shit into a dick. So then the other
> guy laughed and said, "I'm just kidding. I really don't have such a
> device and it took me several hours to get all this shit in my dick and
> I sure wish there was a real device that would do it easier." Well, the
> first guy didn't need to be told twice. He suddenly took his device out
> of the box and presented it to the other guy and said, "Here, sir, I
> have just such a device and it's only $59.95." Well the other guy was
> so happy he wrote that guy a check and took it in his house. After
> several hours of happily stuffing shit up his dick with it, he decided
> to attempt something really perverted that was against the law, which
> was he tried to vomit in the device and stick that up his dick too. But
> the device had a police warning built-in that the first guy didn't tell
> him about and it went off and the police came and arrested him and
> charged him with shoving vomit up his dick. But the law was vague on
> the issue and the guy successfully argued that since he already had
> lots of shit shoved up his dick, that he was actually shoving the vomit
> into shit, technically speaking. Well, the judge accepted this line of
> reasoning and let the guy off with a warning. But then the guy, without
> warning, cut his dick off and began flogging the judge with it. He hit
> the judge so hard with the shit and vomit filled dick that the judge
> died instantly but since the judge had a piece of radioactive meteorite
> in his pocket that landed in his yard last night, he turned into a
> zombie and jumped into the jury part of the room and started in
> buttfucking everybody in the jury. But his dick rotted in less than
> 32.45629 seconds and fell off and so he grabbed the guy's cut off dick
> and started in buttfucking everybody with that. And almost all the jury
> people died from shock and rectal blood loss except one girl who always
> wanted to get buttfucked by a zombie wielding a shit-filled cut off
> dick and so she only died of rectal blood loss. So the zombie/judge was
> buttfucking everybody and shit flew everywhere and since it was mixed
> with vomit too, the rest of the people in the courtroom were shocked
> and it made all the papers around the world and gave this one kid the
> idea to mix shit with vomit and jack off into it and then eat it and he
> did and got sick and got an intestinal infection and died in horrible
> agony.
>
> The End

--
Rev. Jihad Frenzy

"I've got monkeys in my pants!"
Robert John Cusack


Up one level
Back to document index

Original file name: STERNO DEBATES CALIFORNIA#A7BA9 - converted on Saturday, 25 September 2004, 02:05

This page was created using TextToHTML. TextToHTML is a free software for Macintosh and is (c) 1995,1996 by Kris Coppieters