by Rev. Sternodox
Once upon a time there was this one guy who invented
this device that
made it easier to shove shit up one's own dick. He did
this because
when he was little he used to watch "Lost In Space"
just to see how big
Penny's tits were getting and one day when Penny tits
were getting big
his cousin held him down while he was watching Penny's
tits and shoved
shit up his dick and then jacked off a chihuahua while
doing it. So he
patented the device and took it on the road to try to
sell it so he
could make a lot of money and retire young and be able
to devote more
time to his Sunday school class over to the Pentacostal
Church. So he
pulls up in front of this other guy's house and gets
out and rings the
doorbell. But when the guy opens the door the first
guy notices that he
has a dick that's about four times larger than normal
and it has a
little bit of shit dripping out of it. So the first
guy says, "How did
you get that shit all in your dick?" And the second
guy goes, "I bought
this device that makes it easy to put shit in your dick
and it was only
$49.95." Well the first guy got real freaked out
because he thought he
was the first to invent such a device and plus he was
selling his for
$59.95 which was ten dollars more than the other guy
paid for his and
there was so much shit in the other guy's dick that
the first guy got
even more freaked out because of it because he didn't
think his device
would be able to shove that much shit into a dick. So
then the other
guy laughed and said, "I'm just kidding. I really
don't have such a
device and it took me several hours to get all this
shit in my dick and
I sure wish there was a real device that would do it
easier." Well, the
first guy didn't need to be told twice. He suddenly
took his device out
of the box and presented it to the other guy and said,
"Here, sir, I
have just such a device and it's only $59.95."
Well the other guy was
so happy he wrote that guy a check and took it in his
house. After
several hours of happily stuffing shit up his dick with
it, he decided
to attempt something really perverted that was against
the law, which
was he tried to vomit in the device and stick that up
his dick too. But
the device had a police warning built-in that the first
guy didn't tell
him about and it went off and the police came and arrested
him and
charged him with shoving vomit up his dick. But the
law was vague on
the issue and the guy successfully argued that since
he already had
lots of shit shoved up his dick, that he was actually
shoving the vomit
into shit, technically speaking. Well, the judge accepted
this line of
reasoning and let the guy off with a warning. But then
the guy, without
warning, cut his dick off and began flogging the judge
with it. He hit
the judge so hard with the shit and vomit filled dick
that the judge
died instantly but since the judge had a piece of radioactive
meteorite
in his pocket that landed in his yard last night, he
turned into a
zombie and jumped into the jury part of the room and
started in
buttfucking everybody in the jury. But his dick rotted
in less than
32.45629 seconds and fell off and so he grabbed the
guy's cut off dick
and started in buttfucking everybody with that. And
almost all the jury
people died from shock and rectal blood loss except
one girl who always
wanted to get buttfucked by a zombie wielding a shit-filled
cut off
dick and so she only died of rectal blood loss. So the
zombie/judge was
buttfucking everybody and shit flew everywhere and since
it was mixed
with vomit too, the rest of the people in the courtroom
were shocked
and it made all the papers around the world and gave
this one kid the
idea to mix shit with vomit and jack off into it and
then eat it and he
did and got sick and got an intestinal infection and
died in horrible
agony.
The End
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: STERNO DEBATES CALIFORNIA GOVERNOR HOPEFULS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
From: "Dunter Powries" <redcap@fech.spedlins>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Fri, Aug 29, 2003 11:30 AM
Message-ID: <SkK3b.189$zL5.52@nwrdny02.gnilink.net>
Sternodox <sternodox@aristotle.net> wrote in message
news:290820030904153419%sternodox@aristotle.net...
> Yesterday's Shadows
>
> by Rev. Sternodox
>
> Once upon a time there was this one guy who invented
this device that
> made it easier to shove shit up one's own dick.
He did this because
> when he was little he used to watch "Lost
In Space" just to see how big
> Penny's tits were getting and one day when Penny
tits were getting big
> his cousin held him down while he was watching
Penny's tits and shoved
> shit up his dick and then jacked off a chihuahua
while doing it. So he
> patented the device and took it on the road to
try to sell it so he
> could make a lot of money and retire young and
be able to devote more
> time to his Sunday school class over to the Pentacostal
Church. So he
> pulls up in front of this other guy's house and
gets out and rings the
> doorbell. But when the guy opens the door the first
guy notices that he
> has a dick that's about four times larger than
normal and it has a
> little bit of shit dripping out of it. So the first
guy says, "How did
> you get that shit all in your dick?" And the
second guy goes, "I bought
> this device that makes it easy to put shit in your
dick and it was only
> $49.95." Well the first guy got real freaked
out because he thought he
> was the first to invent such a device and plus
he was selling his for
> $59.95 which was ten dollars more than the other
guy paid for his and
> there was so much shit in the other guy's dick
that the first guy got
> even more freaked out because of it because he
didn't think his device
> would be able to shove that much shit into a dick.
So then the other
> guy laughed and said, "I'm just kidding. I
really don't have such a
> device and it took me several hours to get all
this shit in my dick and
> I sure wish there was a real device that would
do it easier." Well, the
> first guy didn't need to be told twice. He suddenly
took his device out
> of the box and presented it to the other guy and
said, "Here, sir, I
> have just such a device and it's only $59.95."
Well the other guy was
> so happy he wrote that guy a check and took it
in his house. After
> several hours of happily stuffing shit up his dick
with it, he decided
> to attempt something really perverted that was
against the law, which
> was he tried to vomit in the device and stick that
up his dick too. But
> the device had a police warning built-in that the
first guy didn't tell
> him about and it went off and the police came and
arrested him and
> charged him with shoving vomit up his dick. But
the law was vague on
> the issue and the guy successfully argued that
since he already had
> lots of shit shoved up his dick, that he was actually
shoving the vomit
> into shit, technically speaking. Well, the judge
accepted this line of
> reasoning and let the guy off with a warning. But
then the guy, without
> warning, cut his dick off and began flogging the
judge with it. He hit
> the judge so hard with the shit and vomit filled
dick that the judge
> died instantly but since the judge had a piece
of radioactive meteorite
> in his pocket that landed in his yard last night,
he turned into a
> zombie and jumped into the jury part of the room
and started in
> buttfucking everybody in the jury. But his dick
rotted in less than
> 32.45629 seconds and fell off and so he grabbed
the guy's cut off dick
> and started in buttfucking everybody with that.
And almost all the jury
> people died from shock and rectal blood loss except
one girl who always
> wanted to get buttfucked by a zombie wielding a
shit-filled cut off
> dick and so she only died of rectal blood loss.
So the zombie/judge was
> buttfucking everybody and shit flew everywhere
and since it was mixed
> with vomit too, the rest of the people in the courtroom
were shocked
> and it made all the papers around the world and
gave this one kid the
> idea to mix shit with vomit and jack off into it
and then eat it and he
> did and got sick and got an intestinal infection
and died in horrible
> agony.
>
> The End
>
I thought it was too bad that you had to belabor the
fact the difference
between $59.95 and $49.95 was $10.00, like we're idiots
or something and
couldn't figure it out for ourselves. It ruined the
story for me. In the
future try to give your audience more credit.
Thanks.
Dunty Porteous,
Human Sacrifice
--
"Objection is when I say: this doesn't suit me.
Resistance is when I make
sure that what doesn't suit me never happens again."
-Ulrike Meinhof
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: STERNO DEBATES CALIFORNIA GOVERNOR HOPEFULS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
From: subspecies23@aol.comyourmom (SubSpecies23)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Fri, Aug 29, 2003 4:13 PM
Message-ID: <20030829161315.07673.00000211@mb-m17.aol.com>
<< I thought it was too bad that you had to belabor
the fact the difference
between $59.95 and $49.95 was $10.00, like we're idiots
or something and
couldn't figure it out for ourselves. It ruined the
story for me. In the
future try to give your audience more credit.
>>
I hate it when the customers where I work hand me their
money, and feel that
they have to tell me how much they gave me, like I can't
count it myself.
They're like "That's $10.25," and I'm like
"yeah, I can count."
----------------
EVERY SQUARE FUCKDORK WITH A PIPE... *IS NOT "BOB"*
-- Ivan Stang
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: STERNO DEBATES CALIFORNIA GOVERNOR HOPEFULS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
From: "Rev. Jihad Frenzy" <cht@gis.net>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Fri, Aug 29, 2003 12:32 PM
Message-ID: <cht-FFBEC4.12324329082003@news.newsguy.com>
"Ward, I'm worried about The Sternodox!"
In article <290820030904153419%sternodox@aristotle.net>,
Sternodox <sternodox@aristotle.net> wrote:
> Yesterday's Shadows
>
> by Rev. Sternodox
>
> Once upon a time there was this one guy who invented
this device that
> made it easier to shove shit up one's own dick.
He did this because
> when he was little he used to watch "Lost
In Space" just to see how big
> Penny's tits were getting and one day when Penny
tits were getting big
> his cousin held him down while he was watching
Penny's tits and shoved
> shit up his dick and then jacked off a chihuahua
while doing it. So he
> patented the device and took it on the road to
try to sell it so he
> could make a lot of money and retire young and
be able to devote more
> time to his Sunday school class over to the Pentacostal
Church. So he
> pulls up in front of this other guy's house and
gets out and rings the
> doorbell. But when the guy opens the door the first
guy notices that he
> has a dick that's about four times larger than
normal and it has a
> little bit of shit dripping out of it. So the first
guy says, "How did
> you get that shit all in your dick?" And the
second guy goes, "I bought
> this device that makes it easy to put shit in your
dick and it was only
> $49.95." Well the first guy got real freaked
out because he thought he
> was the first to invent such a device and plus
he was selling his for
> $59.95 which was ten dollars more than the other
guy paid for his and
> there was so much shit in the other guy's dick
that the first guy got
> even more freaked out because of it because he
didn't think his device
> would be able to shove that much shit into a dick.
So then the other
> guy laughed and said, "I'm just kidding. I
really don't have such a
> device and it took me several hours to get all
this shit in my dick and
> I sure wish there was a real device that would
do it easier." Well, the
> first guy didn't need to be told twice. He suddenly
took his device out
> of the box and presented it to the other guy and
said, "Here, sir, I
> have just such a device and it's only $59.95."
Well the other guy was
> so happy he wrote that guy a check and took it
in his house. After
> several hours of happily stuffing shit up his dick
with it, he decided
> to attempt something really perverted that was
against the law, which
> was he tried to vomit in the device and stick that
up his dick too. But
> the device had a police warning built-in that the
first guy didn't tell
> him about and it went off and the police came and
arrested him and
> charged him with shoving vomit up his dick. But
the law was vague on
> the issue and the guy successfully argued that
since he already had
> lots of shit shoved up his dick, that he was actually
shoving the vomit
> into shit, technically speaking. Well, the judge
accepted this line of
> reasoning and let the guy off with a warning. But
then the guy, without
> warning, cut his dick off and began flogging the
judge with it. He hit
> the judge so hard with the shit and vomit filled
dick that the judge
> died instantly but since the judge had a piece
of radioactive meteorite
> in his pocket that landed in his yard last night,
he turned into a
> zombie and jumped into the jury part of the room
and started in
> buttfucking everybody in the jury. But his dick
rotted in less than
> 32.45629 seconds and fell off and so he grabbed
the guy's cut off dick
> and started in buttfucking everybody with that.
And almost all the jury
> people died from shock and rectal blood loss except
one girl who always
> wanted to get buttfucked by a zombie wielding a
shit-filled cut off
> dick and so she only died of rectal blood loss.
So the zombie/judge was
> buttfucking everybody and shit flew everywhere
and since it was mixed
> with vomit too, the rest of the people in the courtroom
were shocked
> and it made all the papers around the world and
gave this one kid the
> idea to mix shit with vomit and jack off into it
and then eat it and he
> did and got sick and got an intestinal infection
and died in horrible
> agony.
>
> The End
--
Rev. Jihad Frenzy
"I've got monkeys in my pants!"
Robert John Cusack
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