Re: Alan Dean Foster: SubGenius? Or Pervert?

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.friday,alt.sloak
Date: Sun, Dec 15, 2002 2:36 PM

In article <3DFC2819.5021C747@yahooX.com>, nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>
wrote:

> Rudy Rucker always includes either "Bob" of the actual Secret of the
> Universe in every one of his books.

But that doesn't COUNT, see, because Rev. Rucker is a dues paying
SubGenius who hangs out. Same with Pissbaptist John Shirley, who used
"Bob" and even Sterno as characters several times in sf and horror
stories. And Nancy Collins, aka Rev. Nanzi Regalia. And the artist
Michael Whelan has worked Dobbs into covers. And you for that matter
have pissed off smarm-meister publishers by integrating Dobbs into
nonDobbish book graphics.

But since you and Rucker and Shirley are just regular nose pickin', ass
scratchin,' dues-paying SubGenii whose houses I and others have messed
up more than once, you're not BIG and IMPORTANT like writers and
artists who never gave us the time of day outside of their little
tip-o-the-hat, see. Just like here in the real world of alt.slack.
Somebody busts ass writing the greatest, funniest, most perceptive
essay in the world, and the response, if any, is the pointing out of a
misspelling. A post consisting of a two word movie title, however, can
elicit whole bad essays, dozens of them.

Everything's dack asswarbs that way. Heck, there are whole books
entirely about "Bob" which are almost never mentioned or refered to
here.

The social aspects of this religion appear to overpower the creative
and artistical-like aspects sometimes. Which I guess is what makes it
different from most art thangs, and more like a real religion, or at
least a bingo parlor gossip-fest.

Not that I'm complaining about this. I like hearing the gossip myself.
Lucky for me, I forget it almost immediately.

Speaking of The Day, and past works of art and the social circle, and
forgetting, yesterday I started to START going through the boxes of
papers that remind me what happened during the last 49 years. I have
started making a rough history of the Church etc., and of me etc.,
since for me the two are difficult to separate. (I did separate them.
The Timeline text file has two columns, left being Church and right
being Me... I'm gonna add the Church timeline to SubSITE with lots of
links, but the Me timeline will turn into a funny story starring all my
crazee, whackee friends and acquaintances in real life.)

Anyway, what I found in the first few boxes was a realization of just
how much I was on the VERGE of FORGETTING. But it all comes rushing
back when you handle the old OBJECTS, you know? And I kept ALL of the
important objects, it seems. Good thing, too, because the memories were
recorded on tissue paper inside my head.

HOOO boy are there some interesting memories in that box. I can't wait
to find out what happened in SubGeniusland between 1987 and 1990.
Before and after that period, no problem. But I have yet to even figure
out if anything DID happen then, or if I simply wasn't that INTERESTED
in it then. I suspect that the answers lie in the box of carefully
labeled 8mm videotapes, which I haven't looked at, and I suspect that
the answer is, I was busy raising children. I remember a hell of a lot
of THAT, for sure. Maybe that's all there was, then.

Just before I went to bed, I found my Elementary School Yearbooks.
Birdville Elementary from 1960 to 1965, with photos of every kid I went
to school with, every girl I wanted to screw, without even knowing what
screwing was... I had strange dreams.

Right after First grade, I had apparently used the little photo
yearbook to work voodoo. I had defaced the photo of my beautiful
classmate Georgia Nolen, my first unrequited love. (Of HUNDREDS.) And I
had likewise defaced the photo of a hot looking young teacher aid that
I must have seriously lusted after. At age 6. What cracked me up was
that I had also BEHEADED THE PRINCIPAL, Mr. Parish.

I worked out my feelings. That little Georgia Nolen girl? Dead ringer
for Princess Wei as a child. I guess I NAILED GEORGIA AFTER ALL! In a
manner of speaking. The part I was interested in, anyway. The
Principle? Wouldn't it be great to learn that he HAD died in some weird
accident, decapitated in a car wreck or something. (The only reason I
disliked him was probably simply because he was the figure of greatest
authority in the school. Or maybe I heard my parents gripe about him.)

There were even photos of Mrs. Darden. I have managed to immortalize
Mrs. Darden -- she's the all purpose "hated 5th grade teacher" that I
always mention in devival rants as an example of the kind of Pink you
can come back and get revenge on, come X-Day.

I should start mentioning the Mrs. Neindorfs of the world, the "good
4th grade teachers" that encourage one to draw comic books and the
like. AND WHO, DECADES LATER, JOIN THE CHURCH OF THE SUBGENIUS!

Now that I'm finally "fucking Georgia Nolen," I'm not bitter anymore,
see.

I am only procrastinating, however.

I should mention -- had a couple of weird moments while going through
VERY old files. There was a box, unopened for decades. In it were
files, unbrowsed since placed there IN 1972.

I opened a file folder of 8th grade English papers, 1966, which I kept
for some reason. Graded essays with criticism from the teacher. (He was
a good teacher!) At the first one I pulled out at random, written in my
shitty handwriting as the title of the essay, was

"DRUMMOND"

It was an essay about the lawyer in the Scopes monkey trial. But I
about half lakked to shit when I saw that. Thought for a second it was
time control gone out of control. I didn't meet Dr. Philo Drummond
until 1976.

(BUT GET THIS! I did often SIT in a THEATER with Philo and his brother
Sphinx, WITHOUT KNOWING IT OR THEM, between ages 9 and 12, at all the
Saturday kids Matinees at the Haltom Theater in Fort Worth (now a Sam's
outlet).) Probably gave each other dirty looks at some point, nudging
our brothers and saying, "Look it them stupit lookin' poebucker kids
over there!")

I am only procrastinating, however.

MUST... DO... STUFF *NOW*!

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 204206, Austin, TX 78720-4206
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com
For SubGenius Biz & Orders: call toll free to 1-888-669-2323
or email: jesus@subgenius.com
PRABOB

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