Subject: pome

From: "Puppet Master Blackout" <blackout@404infomagic.net>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Jul 17, 2002 9:28 AM
Message-ID: <yoeZ8.85$KY5.19051@news.uswest.net>

The Good Ship Venus

'Twas on the good ship Venus,
My God, you should 'av seen us,
The figurehead was a nude in bed
Sucking a red hot penis.

Chorus: Frigging in the rigging,
Wanking in the planking,
Masturbating in the grating
There was fuck all else to do.

The captain's name was Slugger
He was a dirty bugger
He wasn't fit to shovel shit
On any bugger's lugger.

The first mate's name was Paul,
He only had one ball,
But with that cracker he rolled terbaccer
Around the cabin wall.

The second mate's name was Andy
His balls were long and bandy
They filled his arse with molten brass
For pissing in the brandy.

The first mate's name was Morgan,
He was a grisly Gorgon,
Three times a day he strummed away
Upon his sexual organ

The captain's wife was Mabel
And whenever she was able
She gave the crew their Daily Screw
Upon the messroom table.

The captain had a daughter
Was swimming in the water,
Delighted squeals came as the eels
Entered her sexual quarter.

A cook who's name was Freeman,
He was a dirty demon,
He fed the crew on menstrual stew
And hymens fried in semen.

Another cook was O'Malley,
He didn't dilly dally,
He shot his bolt with such a jolt
It whitewashed half the galley.

The Boatswain's name was Lester,
He was a hymen tester,
Through hymens thick he shoved his prick
And left it there to fester.

The engineer was McTavish
And young girls he did ravish,
His missing cock's at Istanbul
He was a trifle lavish.

Another one was Cropper
Oh Christ he had a whopper,
Twice round the deck
Once round his neck
And up his bum for a stopper.

The cabin boy was Kipper,
A dirty little nipper,
They stuffed his arse with broken glass
And circumcised the skipper.

The ship's dog's name was Rover
The whole crew did him over,
They ground and ground the faithful hound
From Singapore to Dover.

The end of this narration
Came in jubilation
For they sunk the junk in a sea of spunk,
Caused by masturbation.

So now we end this serial
Through sheer lack of material,
I wish you luck and freedom from
Diseases venereal.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: pome
From: gggor@io.com ( G G Gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Jul 17, 2002 11:02 AM
Message-ID: <3d3588e6.40129361@news.io.com>

rOn Wed, 17 Jul 2002 06:28:26 -0700, "Puppet Master Blackout"
<blackout@404infomagic.net> wrote:

+The Good Ship Venus
+
+'Twas on the good ship Venus,
+My God, you should 'av seen us,
+The figurehead was a nude in bed
+Sucking a red hot penis.
+
+Chorus: Frigging in the rigging,
+Wanking in the planking,
+Masturbating in the grating
+There was fuck all else to do.
+
+The captain's name was Slugger
+He was a dirty bugger
+He wasn't fit to shovel shit
+On any bugger's lugger.
+
+The first mate's name was Paul,
+He only had one ball,
+But with that cracker he rolled terbaccer
+Around the cabin wall.
+
+The second mate's name was Andy
+His balls were long and bandy
+They filled his arse with molten brass
+For pissing in the brandy.
+
+The first mate's name was Morgan,
+He was a grisly Gorgon,
+Three times a day he strummed away
+Upon his sexual organ
+
+The captain's wife was Mabel
+And whenever she was able
+She gave the crew their Daily Screw
+Upon the messroom table.
+
+The captain had a daughter
+Was swimming in the water,
+Delighted squeals came as the eels
+Entered her sexual quarter.
+
+A cook who's name was Freeman,
+He was a dirty demon,
+He fed the crew on menstrual stew
+And hymens fried in semen.
+
+Another cook was O'Malley,
+He didn't dilly dally,
+He shot his bolt with such a jolt
+It whitewashed half the galley.
+
+The Boatswain's name was Lester,
+He was a hymen tester,
+Through hymens thick he shoved his prick
+And left it there to fester.
+
+The engineer was McTavish
+And young girls he did ravish,
+His missing cock's at Istanbul
+He was a trifle lavish.
+
+Another one was Cropper
+Oh Christ he had a whopper,
+Twice round the deck
+Once round his neck
+And up his bum for a stopper.
+
+The cabin boy was Kipper,
+A dirty little nipper,
+They stuffed his arse with broken glass
+And circumcised the skipper.
+
+The ship's dog's name was Rover
+The whole crew did him over,
+They ground and ground the faithful hound
+From Singapore to Dover.
+
+The end of this narration
+Came in jubilation
+For they sunk the junk in a sea of spunk,
+Caused by masturbation.
+
+So now we end this serial
+Through sheer lack of material,
+I wish you luck and freedom from
+Diseases venereal.
+
+
+
Oscar Brand covered this on a record he made about 40 years ago,
slightly bowdlerized but essentially the same with a few variations on
things, eg:

The cabin boy from Portsmouth came
a randy little nipper,
he lined his arse with broken glass
and circumcised the skipper.

ggg

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: pome
From: "nikolai kingsley" <nikolai@broadway.net.au>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Jul 17, 2002 11:35 AM
Message-ID: <newscache$xbjezg$ifo$1@bartleby.maths.monash.edu.au>

> +The ship's dog's name was Rover
> +The whole crew did him over,
> +They ground and ground the faithful hound
> +From Singapore to Dover.

> Oscar Brand covered this on a record he made about 40 years ago,
> slightly bowdlerized but essentially the same with a few variations on
> things, eg:
>
> The cabin boy from Portsmouth came
> a randy little nipper,
> he lined his arse with broken glass
> and circumcised the skipper.

Max Gillies (actually, i think the variation was written by Australian
cartoonist Patrick Cook, who i gather played piano on the show) in his
"Gillies Report" had a "Politically Correct" version. i can't remember all
of it, but:

T'was on the Conventionally Powered Ship Venus
My God, you should have seen us
The figurehead wasn't made of lead
And wasn't shaped like anything in particular.
...

The ship's dog's name was Big Balls
Although nobody knows why he was called that
There was nothing remarkable about the size of his knackers
And the name was gratuitous and offensive.

etc

nikolai
---
"`Oo me so juicy
like a succulent spring plum -
Pluck me. Pluck me now'...
A hentai haiku!"
-sinfest

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: pome
From: gggor@io.com ( G G Gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Jul 18, 2002 8:37 AM
Message-ID: <3d36b915.307835@news.io.com>

On Wed, 17 Jul 2002 23:04:14 GMT, "Alliekatt"
<alleykatzen@hotmail.com> wrote:

+
+" G G Gordon" <gggor@io.com> wrote in message
+news:3d3588e6.40129361@news.io.com...
+> Oscar Brand covered this on a record he made about 40 years ago,
+> slightly bowdlerized but essentially the same with a few variations
on
+> things, eg:
+
+
+Where the HELL can I find an mp3 of this recording? OMB!!!!
+
+alliekatt
+
+
I don't know, the album was called (if I remember rightly) "Bawdy Sea
Chanteys and Backroom Ballads" but I don't recall if it was Vol.! or
2..

ggg

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: pome
From: "nu-monet v5.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Reply-To: like.excess@sex.org
Date: Wed, Jul 17, 2002 2:19 PM
Message-ID: <3D35B5B0.23C1@succeeds.com>

The pome, or variation therof, may be found in
chapter 5 of the one and only SubGenius novel:

THE SECRET ADVENTURE OF THE RED SKULL MOUNTAIN MYSTERY--
THE BENDOVER BROTHERS MEET J.R. "BOB" DOBBS!

http://walkingdead.net/~phxclench/chap05.htm

--
"I'm looking for where it is cheapest to send
them (AIDS patients) to die... Their pain and
suffering is a result of their own misconduct."
--Missouri Governor John Ashcroft

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Original file name: pome - converted on Friday, 16 May 2003, 16:50