I'm a hate group

From: Mr. F. Le Mur <lemurama@attxbi.com>
Newsgroups: alt.binaries.slack
Reply-To: lemurama@attxbi.com
Date: Thu, Sep 19, 2002 2:34 PM

A Hate Group or Racist Group may be a group, an individual posing as
a group, or an actual individual attempting to overtly or covertly inspire
hatred, violence, or encourage exploitation of another group of people.
These groups can be clearly identified by their intent to cause harm,
deprivation, or insult to another clearly identifiable group of people,
whether it is based on race, creed, or membership in specific non-racist
groups.
By this definition, any group or individual that uses disinformation
or purported humor to demean or trivialize another group of people is
implicitly a Hate Group.

There's an Arab, a Rastafarian and a SubGenius in a hospital, waiting
to pick up their newly born baby boys. The doctor comes in and says
"I'm afraid there's been a terrible mix up and we're not sure which
baby is which." The doc leaves the 3 men to decide who picks first,
so they draw straws. Obviously the SubGenius loses, and the Arab wins
and runs over and picks up the little black baby.
"What the fuggin' hell are you doing, that one's not yours!" cries
the Rasta.
"Fuck off, buddy," says the Arab, "I won, and I'm not gonna end up
raising a "Bob"damned Dobbshead worshipper."

+++

A dude walks into the drug store and asked to buy a rubber. The clerk
told him he doesn't sell rubbers one at a time, he only sells packages
of 6, 8 or 12.

The dude asks why. The clerk said, "Well, those packs of six are for my
Mexican customers. You know they do it six days a week and rest on the
Sabbath." He asked, "What about the pack of eight?" The clerk said,
"For my Black customers. You know they do it seven days a week and twice
on Sunday."
He asked, "And the packs of twelve?" The clerk said, "That's for my
SubGenius customers - one for every penis."

+++

SAT (SubGenius Aptitude Test)

You just sold a SubGenius membership suddenly you have $30
burning a hole in your pocket.

What should you waste it on?
A. A bag of oregano.
B. 2.78 copies of The Book of The SubGenius.
C. A SubGenius membership.
D. What $30 ?

+++

A bus stops and two SubGenius guys get on.

They sit down and start yapping. The lady sitting behind them ignores
their conversation at first, but she listens in horror as one of the
men says "Emma comes first, den I come. Two asses, dey come together.
I comea again. Two asses, dey come together again. I come again and
pee twice. Then I come once-a more."

"In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!" retorted
the lady indignantly.

"Hey coola down lady," replied the SubGenius, "I'm just tellun my friend
howata spella TEXAS."

+++

Two SubGenius guys are discussing one's upcoming wedding..."I'm not
sure if my future bride is a virgin or not."
His buddy replies, "Oh, there's an easy test for that. All you need
is some red paint, some blue paint and a shovel. You paint one ball red
and one ball blue. On your honeymoon, if she laughs and says 'That
reminds me of "Bob"', you hit her with the shovel!"

+++

"Reverend," asked the barmaid, "what are those two bulges in the front
of your trousers?"
"Ah," said the SubG Reverend, "they're hand grenades. Next time that
queer tries to feel my balls, I'll blow his fingers off!"

+++

A SubGenius goes into a pub, and another SubGenius is in pub looking
out the window, and says, "Hey, Rev, someone's stealing your car."
The SubGenius rushes outside and returns to the pub five minutes later.
"Did you catch him?," asks his mate.
"No, but I got the registration number on his Dobbshead."

+++

SubGenius: Hi mom, I've got some good news and some bad news.
Mother : What's the good news?
SubGenius: I just became a Pope!
Mother : What's the bad news?
SubGenius: I have to move to Texas.

+++

What's the difference between snot and a Dobbshead?
Kids will eat snot.

+++

Q: What are the two biggest SubGenius lies?
A: "The check is in your mouth" and "I won't come in the mail."

+++

Why do SubGeniuses travel in groups of threes?
They need one who is able to read, another who can write, and one to
keep an eye on the two intellectuals.

+++

Q: What did the deaf, dumb and blind SubGenius get for Christmas?
A: Cancer.

+++

I was walking in the park one bright sunny Sunday afternoon, when I
noticed a cute little girl out walking with a SubGenius who was wearing
a t-shirt that said "Porky." As she approached me on the path, she looked
about 9 years old, all dressed up in her Sunday best, and her freshly
scrubbed face was gleaming with cutsiness.

"Hello, little girl," I greeted her, "Why does that SubGenius's shirt say
'Porky' on it?"

"Oh, sir," she said, "That's because his name 'Porky'! Isn't that cute?"

"Well, it certainly is an unusual name. Why do you call him 'Porky'?"

"Because he fucks pigs!"

+++

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Mr. F. Le Mur <lemurama@attxbi.com>

On Fri, 20 Sep 2002 18:39:25 GMT, "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> wrote:

->I don't get it.

A SubGenius sees one of his brethren walking down the street with
a Dobbshead on one foot, so he asks him, "Hey, Rev, what's wrong,
did you lose a Dobbshead?"
"Yeah man," the second SubG replied, "I lost it."

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
>
> >
> > Q: What did the deaf, dumb and blind SubGenius get for Christmas?
> > A: Cancer.
> >

>
> I don't get it.
>

Oh, you will...

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Original file name: I'm a hate group.txt.txt - converted on Monday, 21 July 2003, 13:47