How to read personal ads:

From: John Starrett <jstarret@carbon.cudenver.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sat, Mar 1, 2003 1:40 PM

40-ish.....................49
Adventurer..........Slept with all your friends
Athletic.......................No tits
Average looking.......Has a face like a basset hound
Beautiful...................Pathological liar
Emotionally Secure.......Medicated
Feminist.................... Ugly ball buster
Free spirit.................Junkie
Friendship first.........Trying to live down reputation as a
slut
Fun.............................Annoying
Gentle...................... Comatose
Good Listener......... Borderline Autistic
New-Age..............All body hair, all the time
Old-fashioned............Lights out, missionary position
only, no BJs
Open-minded............Desperate
Outgoing.....! ..............Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate................Sloppy drunk
Poet....................Depressive Schizophrenic
Professional..............Certified Bitch
Redhead....................Bad dye-job
Romantic............Looks better by candle light
Social.........Has been passed around like an hors d'oeuvres
tray
Wants Soulmate........Stalker
Widow.......Drove first husband to shoot himself
Young at heart............Old bat

--
John Starrett

"We have nothing to fear but the scary stuff"

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Original file name: How to read personal ads-.txt - converted on Monday, 21 July 2003, 13:47